Thursday, May 31, 2012

Ladies Love Lyrics: John Legend "Tonight (Best You Ever Had) "

This gem finds its way here courtesy of the film "Think Like A Man." I love John Legend. His first cd is classic to me. I really love that he is a singer/writer/producer/composer. He's a true musician. That makes the music feel different to me. This particular track is very catchy. The beat is very hypnotic. The lyrics are great. I'm sure everyone can vibe to this track. Oh, and it features Ludacris, another fave of mine. Listen and love!

"Ain't this what you came for?
Don't you wish you came, oh
Girl what you're playing for
Come on, let me kiss that
Ooh, I know you miss that
What's wrong, let me fix that
Twist that.

Baby, tonight's the night
I let you know
Baby, tonight's the night we lose control
Baby, tonight you need that, tonight believe that
Tonight I'll be the best you ever had

I don't wanna brag, but I'll be the best you ever had
I don't wanna brag, but I'll be the best you ever had

I hit you with the best flow,
Freestlying in the restroom
Til you blowing cigarette smoke
And now the bad's gone
So what we gon' do now
F-ck it, round two now
Work it out, then we cool down
Cool down

Baby, tonight's the night
I let you know
Baby, tonight's the night we lose control
Baby, tonight you need that, tonight believe that
Tonight I'll be the best you ever had

I don't wanna brag, but I'll be the best you ever had
I don't wanna brag, but I'll be the best you ever had..."

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Places I Must Visit: Thailand

Thailand has been on my radar for a few years now. It started with my introduction to Thai food. Which, by the way, was purely accidental. I was out with some coworkers and one ordered Pad Thai noodles. When her food arrived, it looked so good. She offered me some. I tried. I was sold. I actually ordered some to go. I've seen pictures of Thailand on the Travel channel. I'm particularly interested in Bangkok. It looks like such a vibrant city. It's full if people and color and history. It seems like a place I would enjoy traveling to. I don't know a whole lot about the country. But the beaches are gorgeous, the food is spicy and the people seem very nice.

The name "Thailand" means "Land of the Free." It reminds me of the premise of this country. Floating markets are a staple here. The Leonardo DiCaprio film "The Beach" is about a young backpacker who found a legendary beach in Thailand. I just recently viewed this film for the first time and I loved it. It is also known as the land of smiles. The rainy season lasts from July to October so this would not be an ideal time to visit. Outside of that, the temperature is described as tropical. It's a place I have to visit. I've been reading a few tourism websites about the country. It has only stoked that traveling fire in me. Thailand is gorgeous. Cannot wait to see it for myself.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

A Little Southern Hospitality

I may be biased on this subject but I don't care. The idea of Southern hospitality is a part of my dna. I was raised with manners. There are just some things that are as second nature as breathing. I call older people "Mr." & "Mrs." I speak to people all the time. That's just a Southern thing. I didn't realize this until I lived on the West coast. People are seriously different there. Shockingly different to this southern belle.

The only thing I despised about living in California was how rude the people were. Perfect example: I'm walking down the street on the sidewalk. A woman is walking on the same sidewalk towards me. I do not know her nor does she know me. I say hi and smile. I make no attempt to facilitate a conversation. This woman sees me speak to her. She alerts her eyes and walks passed me as if I don't exist. Really? How freaking rude? Does she have no manners or sense of social decorum? Who does that? This was a daily issue for me and my cousin in southern California. Speaking to another human being costs you nothing. How can people be so rude for no reason?

I am not used to that behavior. Nor will I ever be accepting of it. In the South, we speak to everybody. It's common courtesy. It just makes sense. If I see you, I will acknowledge your presence in some way. A smile, a head nod, a wave or saying hello will always do. They all convey my thoughts. As a kid, that was drummed into me. If you see someone, you say hello. In the words of my great Grandmother, "Hello ain't ever hurt no one. Not the person who says it or the one who receives it." In other words, mind your manners and act like you have some home training.

There are just certain things that I learned as a child that I can't shake. Good values never go out of style. So, if you see me, speak. Trust me, whether I'm having a good or bad day, I will speak. That's the way one is supposed to behave. Besides, you never know what that tiny moment of niceness would mean to the other person. Like I said, maybe it's just me. I'm a born and bred Southern girl. Southern hospitality is what we do. No matter where I am in the world, I can't shake that either.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Vibe's 20 Questions

Remember when Vibe magazine was the shit? I do. It was my fave until it fell off. One of my favorite aspects of the magazine was the "20 Questions." The questions were always on point. And mostly hilarious. So, that's where I'm aiming to go today. Come with me.

01. When in the hell did R&B music morph into this Euro-techno dance trash? I want my 90's R&B back por favor!
02. Aren't we all over discussing why Black men aren't dating Black women?
03. Furthermore, isn't the virtual assault on Black women old, tired and boring?
04. Seriously, what else does President Obama have to do to get his respect?
05. And, why the hell would Newsweek print a cover declaring President Obama as the "First Gay President?" Really white people? GTFOHWTBS!!
06. Isn't it sorta corny when a man refers to a woman as his queen or his rib? Especially when he isn't the least bit faithful?
07. Aren't 3 day weekends wonderful?
08. Are you guys really taking Mitt Romney seriously? Really?
09. Why are people even interested in this obviously faux relationship between Kanye and that chick?
10. Why do people hate on Beyonce' so hard and so much? I don't get the utter obsession with downing her every move.
11. Don't we all want Cassie to give up her "singing" career and stick to modeling?
12. Who decided that celebrities no longer have to be talented? And why did we let them get away with this?
13. Aren't the made up middle names on Facebook annoying as hell?
14. Why do people believe that gay marriages will somehow effect the sanctity of marriage? Don't they know that the divorce rate of first marriages disrupt the sanctity of marriage?
15. When did trashy reality shows take over tv?
16. And furthermore, when will it end?
17. Isn't it great that the Lakers have been knocked out of the playoffs?
18. Why does the week pass so slow and the weekend so fast? Who designed it this way?
19. Why was this so fun to come up with? :-)
20. When will VH1 cancel the disgrace that is "Basketball Wives?"

Sunday, May 27, 2012

One of My Favorite Places

For as long as I can remember, I have loved books. And by extension, libraries. I can't remember exactly when this started. But I knew from an early age that books were my thing. My parents read to me daily. I was reading on my own before I even started kindergarten. I was very impressed by the worlds that were created in books. My imagination loved that.

The library has always been a place of great joy for me. I was the kid who preferred a good book to just about anything. I could go to the library and get lost in the rows and rows of the books. I would sometimes finish an entire book in one trip to the library. I would always leave with 5 or 6 books. You know that scene in "Beauty & the Beast" when the Beast gives Belle the library? That one scene made it my favorite Disney movie.

Even know, books still a huge role in my life. I love to see pictures of exquisite libraries and all of the books. I definitely want to have my own library in my house. Reading is very important. Whether it's the classics or the greats or the downright awful ones, they all matter. I think its one if the best gifts we are given in this world. I know everyone doesn't love to read as much as I do. But, there's so much to discover inside the pages of every book. Libraries are one of my favorite places because they house all of the great writers and great books. How can you go wrong with that?

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Ladies Love Lyrics: Trey Songz "Sex Ain't Better Than Love"

I have heard this song before. I generally liked it. But, I can honestly say that I hadn't paid too much attention to the actual lyrics. It was mentioned to me last night and it made me take a deeper look at it. So, I did. I cannot believe that I missed the gems that are the lyrics of this Trey track. I really like him. I've been a fan since "Gotta Make It." This song is no different. The man can do no wrong musically to me. Go ahead and get into these lyrics and the track.

"I been out here in these streets and I done learned
Every girl I gave my lovin to
Was only a substitute
I been out here in these streets and I done learned
Even though she's in my arms
This ain't where my heart belongs
Sex in the air, no lovin here
Soon as I get through, I'm outta there
And it feels so bad, but it felt so good
Wishin I could care, girl I never could
But then I fell into good love
Didn't let me touch the ground
Now I see it clear that your heart is there
And all these other women they just can't compare
Girl I know

Sex ain't better than love
I been out here in these streets and I done learned that
Sex ain't better than love
I done seen it all done done it all
So much better when you fall
Sex aint better than love
Girl you've been my teacher and I've learned that
Sex ain't better than love

Feelings I thought that I would never have
Ohh I'm so open and I got it bad
I got you now I'ma make it last
She says my baby she can't wait to have
Love in the air, never been so clear
So beautiful, bring your body here
Let me fall into good love
I wanna hear the lovely sound
Let me take my time while we in this bed
You were made for me and I don't wanna share..."

Friday, May 25, 2012

It's Just Semantics

I have blogged about the war of female versus woman and my views on it. It got me to thinking about other titles I don't like. It's not a whole lot. But the ones I dislike, I really dislike. They tend to rub me the complete wrong way. It's more annoying than anything. And, I've also noticed that it depends heavily on who is saying the word/name to me. My reaction is based more on that than anything. I know that may seem wrong but I've very moved by my opinions of people, places, and things. Now, let's discuss what I don't like.

It irks me when men call women their queen or their rib. I have no problem with being called his woman or his lady or even his girl. See how they all start with "his?" That's the most important thing. I am a woman. I am a lady. Sometimes I can still be a girl. I know that woman was made from man's rib. I know the whole story. But, ever since that scene in "Baby Boy" with Jody proclaiming that Yvette was his rib, I've been bothered. In the movie, Jody spent 95% of it cheating on his "rib." Ugh. It's disgusting. I do not want to be referred to in that way. It has a dirty connotation to me now.

Am I a Queen? You're damn right I am. I don't need a reminder of that. I know who I am and my worth. I have no self esteem issues over here. I'm most affected when he says my name. Oh and baby of course. Some things just seem corny. This is one of them. So, please refrain from calling me queen or rib or even something more derogatory. If you feel the need to, just call me by my name por favor. It would be most appreciated by management. I can be many things, a plethora of nouns, verbs, adjectives and adverbs. But, it's not many I will answer to. One would be wise to remember that when addressing me.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Adventures in Cooking: A Twist on Wings

I love wings. i usually order them. I hardly ever cook them myself. But, I got the urge to have wings with a twist last week. So, I set out to do just that. I didn't want baked wings with sauce. I was craving fried wings tossed with barbecue sauce. This is the specialty of a spot here called "WOW Wings." I did not know their recipe but I thought that it was simple enough for me to replicate.

I started with my eggwash concoction. I used an egg, some milk and seasoning in a bowl. I mixed it all up. I wanted my wings to have a crunchy taste golden skin. I knew it would have been better with buttermilk. But, I just used ingredients I had available. After cleaning the wings, I totally covered them in the eggwash. Then, I dropped then in my flour. Once I made sure they were completely covered in flour, into the hot grease they went. Wings do not take long to cook. I watched them fry up so perfectly and evenly golden. After removing them from the grease, I let them cool.

I combined two different barbecue sauces; Spicy Honey and sweet & Spicy Chipotle. I also added a little mustard, ketchup, brown sugar, vanilla, and hot sauce. I then dipped the wings, one by one, into the sauce. I made sure that they were all completely covered. And, I was done. I also cooked steamed broccoli and mac & cheese as my sides. The only thing left to do was eat. And, it was delicious. So much so, that I cooked it again later in that same week. Simple dish but it made my taste buds very happy. The domesticated diva was definitely happy. Hope you guys try it out!

Here's my recipe:

- 1 pack of wings (8)
- 1 egg
- 1/4 cup of milk
- Season all/Tony Chachere's
- A pinch of black pepper
- Flour
- Bbq sauce (I used a combination of spicy honey/sweet&spicy chipotle & added mustard, ketchup, brown sugar, vanilla & hot sauce to it)


- Heat oil in pan or deep fryer (I used a deep fryer).
- Mix egg, milk, season all, & pepper in a bowl.
- Dip wings in bowl.
- Coat wings totally.
- Flour wings.
- Fry wings.
- Let cool for a few minutes.
- Then dip fried wings into Bbq sauce until totally coated.
- Serve, eat, & enjoy!

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

It's These FIVE Things...

I love questionnaires and quizzes. I absolutely love when they are particularly unusual. Those are the most interesting to me. When I saw this one, I had to do it and share. I really enjoyed it. Anyway, hope you guys enjoy reading my five things!

1. 5 basic facts about you - I love my family, I live for music, I like fish, I read exceptionally fast & I need more sleep.

2. 5 not-so-basic facts about you - I don't often sleep very well, I need to express myself more, I think too much which makes it hard to sleep at night, my imagination is over active & I still hate the Thriller video.

3. 5 ways you break the ice - Introduce myself, tell a joke, talk about music, ask about the other person, & smile.

4. 5 signs that you’re into someone - I laugh a lot, flirt with him, smile when I think of him, light up when he calls, & cannot wait to hear his voice.

5. 5 signs that you’re NOT into someone - Arms folded, don't flirt, fake smiles, short conversations & I just don't pay attention.

6. 5 things you do when you’re bored - Read, sleep, listen to music, surf the web, watch SATC or The Wire.

7. 5 things that make you hyper - Great conversations, wonderful music, amazing poetry, laughing kids, & HIM.

8. 5 things you’re known for - My wit, my intelligence, being a great listener, giving good advice & (as per my nephews/nieces) great hugs!

9. 5 things you want to do - Travel, write more, learn another language, get married & become a Mom.

10. 5 things you’ll never do - Bungee jump, drink tequila again, get an abortion, vote Republican, & eat sushi.

11. 5 good things about you - (As per my cousin) I'm extremely smart, a great listener, a wonderful writer, I have a pretty smile and the best pair of chi-chi'cs in America (lol).

12. 5 bad things about you - I worry a lot, I hate to cry especially in front of people, I am very hard on myself, I have high expectations of people, & I can be bossy.

13. 5 ways to make you cry - Talk about my Dad, attack me personally, those stupid Sarah Maclahan ASPCA commercials, sappy movies & beautiful words.

14. 5 ways to win your heart - Be funny, be intelligent, love your family, love music & be socially aware!

15. 5 things you need to say - "Baby, I love you," "Get your tubes tied, Idiot," "I don't care," "I can't wait to kiss you," & "I wish you would get some help.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Get Into It: As I Am

I refuse to be a product junkie. I refuse. I will not buy things just because they promise to help work wonders with my transitioning hair. I heard that this new company "As I Am" had some great products to offer. I went on the website and I ordered the samples. I only paid about $3 for it. There are 10 products total offered. The prices range from $8 - $28. Great products at a great price are always a great thing. The products are available online.

Once my samples arrived, I was excited to try them out. So this past Sunday, I dove right in. I used 4 of the 10 products. The only thing I used that wasn't in the box was my Kinky Curly Knot Today. This is a must for me to help detangle my hair. My results after this cowash were very, very good. I loved the way my hair felt, looked and smelled afterwards. That signifies to me that these products are here to stay.

- Coconut CoWash - is amazing. It smells wonderful. It got my hair totally clean. I loved the way my hair felt during and after.
- Leave In Conditioner - is lightweight and fragrant. My hair felt nourished after apply this.
- Moisture Milk - is a great daily moisturizer. Since I've been transitioning, moisture has been an issue. This solved that problem. The smell is awesome.
- Twist Defining Cream - was used before I put flexirods in my hair. The outcome was great.
- Smoothing Gel- is by far one of my favorites. I used it to smooth down my edges. It worked like a charm.
- CoCo Shea Spray - was a little weird to use. I'm sure it will be better in the bottle it comes in. Again, the smell was awesome and it left my hair shiny and soft. I kept touching it.
- Double Butter Cream - is awesome. I loved the feel of it on my hands before I even put it in my head. After applying, I was more than impressed with it.
- Curling Jelly - I used along with the Twist Defining Cream for my first attempt of a twist out.

In my sample box, were 3 other produts that I haven't used yet. They are the Hydration Elation moisturizer, Curl Clarity Shampoo, and the Cleansing Pudding. I cannot wait to wash my hair and get into these products as well. I have a feeling that As I Am will become a go to product for me during the rest of this journey. As a transitioning naturalista, finding new products is always a task. I have learned that every thing isn't for every type of hair. I have been lucky that I have had a pretty good run with products. Adding these As I Am products to my stable is a must. They work and they are affordable. I love the smell of each product. Products that make this transition easier are the little things that make me smile. Being able to deal with my own hair in a better, more efficient way. If you are transitioning, I suggest you give them a try. Get into "As I Am" natural products.

Monday, May 21, 2012

New Music Releases: SWV, Mylah, & Meek Mill

More music has been invading my ears in the last few weeks. Thankfully, all of it has been really good. That is always a great thing. I wanted to talk about three specific projects that I am currently enjoying. If you haven't heard any of them, hopefully this will make you want to give them a listen. Here we go!

I am a SWV fan. I've waited for their return. I can say that I wasn't that moved by their return single "Co-Sign." The lyrics appeared very immature for the ladies. But, fret not, the rest of the cd "I Missed Us," is awesome. I literally love every song except one. It's just full of feel good old school (Circa the 90's) R&B music. That is all that I wanted from one of my favorite groups. The ladies did not disappoint at all. I loved the fact that they redid Patti LaBelle's "If Only You Knew." I loved it then and now. My favorite song changes often but I really love "Show Off," "Everything I Love," "I Missed Us," and "The Best Years." I hope that SWV goes on tour because I've never seen them in concert. I would be in there.

I am a new fan of Meek Mill. I say this after finally listening to his new mixtape "Dreamchasers 2." Yes, I liked him on "I'm A Boss," but I didn't think there was any real substance there. I was wrong. It's not too often that I am moved by today's Hip-Hop. Seriously, 90% of it leaves much to be desired. But, when something is good, its really good to me. I have been playing it nonstop since it dropped. I really dig the whole thing. There are certain songs that get more play than others. They include "Amen" which features Drake. "House Party 2," which features Fab, "Burn," which features Big Sean, and "Use To Be." I just really enjoy his flow and his voice. He doesn't sound like anyone else which is refreshing. If you're a Hip-Hop fan, this project deserves a listen. Trust me.

And, finally, there is the Mylah mixtape. I love Mylah's voice. Have since I stumbled across her remix of Kanye's "Say You Will" a few years back. Her new mixtape, "The Makings of Mylah," is just a peek into what kind of artist she is and will become. I love the tone of her voice. My favorite track has to be "Currency." It's about a man spending money but never having time. It's a story that every girl can relate too. She also shot a video for it which I think is awesome. She is someone to watch I believe. Go ahead and get into her.

Yes, these are three totally different projects. I love them all for totally different reasons. But, the thing they have in common is the fact that all are great projects. I listen to them interchangeably. Good music cannot be denied. I think that this music falls into that category. So, now that I've shared it with you, you can listen and share it with others. Enjoy. Please don't stop the music :-)

Sunday, May 20, 2012

May I Be Random For A Moment?

° ^^^^ Total #GPOY! It describes me infinitely.

° I'm a new auntie again...for the 8th time. This feeling may never get old. Now, its 4 nieces and 4 nephews for me. They range from almost 3 weeks to 7 years old. In the pic below, they are Phillip & Phallyn, Kole, (middle row) Makylah, Kloé, & Karmen (Bottom row) Kendrick Jr & Kameran.

° Being stress-free for the last couple of weeks has been great.

° The Republicans are all assholes. I'm sorry, there is no other way to describe them. I cannot wait to cast my vote for President Obama in November.

° The state of Florida has to be the dumbest state with the most ridiculous laws. Living there could never be an option.

° And, furthermore, I think they are just setting the stage for Zimmerman to walk on a murder charge. I'm preparing myself for that.

° The finales of Grey's Anatomy and Scandal were the business. Like for real. I laughed, I cried, I was shocked and I want more please.

° I'm not digging the lineup for the Essence Music Fest this year so far. I hope they add more folks.

° My baby says I have a girl crush on Rihanna. I think he may be a bit right lol.

° I feel good because I blogged for two weeks straight beforehand. That is always a great thing. And, something I haven't done before so yay me!!

° I've had some pretty amazing conversations lately. They've motivated me in a way that I can't explain. I needed to have them. I'm sure no one knows how much their words have affected me.

° Music has been good to me in the last few weeks as well. SWV, Monica, Melanie Fiona, Meek Mill have all put out good projects. I love them all for totally different reasons.

° I've been back on my reading. In the last few weeks, I've read about 8 books. Some really good (The Hunger Games trilogy), some really bad (Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy) and some that helped me. Reading really makes me happy.

° I am not my hair. But in actuality, I am. This transitioning is a trying and humbling experience. Cutting it all off is looking more and more like the move. Praying for more patience in the situation.

° Did I mention that cramps are the work of Lucifer? No? Well, they are. And, I felt like the world should know :(

° I am completely comfortable in my randomness. I think its a very unique and specific part of my personality. It's also true that I can't stop thinking. It takes so much for me to shut off my brain. I'm used to it now. Creative genius, right? :)

Saturday, May 19, 2012

To Wait or Not To Wait?

I was reading Madame Noire the other day. I ran across an
this article that made me think. It was an open letter from a 23 year old virgin to her future husband. It was an eloquent letter that spoke to me. She spoke of her wanting to wait and how she made a vow in front of her church. It was an amazing read. I felt her story and her journey. It's different for all women. Some things in her letter did spark some thoughts in me.

I began to wonder. Is it wrong that I didn't wait? Or is it better that I followed my first mind and my heart? If I hadn't, I would currently be a 32 year old virgin. Her letter did spark a twinge if jealousy. It only lasted a second. But it was there. I can honestly say that I regret who I shared my virginity with. He didn't deserve it. That is the truth. After thinking about, I came to the conclusion that I made the right choice for me. It is was what I wanted at that time. I try to live my life with no regrets. Why would I? It's a horrible way to live. Everything I have done in my life has led me to this moment, has made this woman. And, I happen to love every bit of her. My choice was right for me.

I feel that every woman has the right to chose. I made a choice years ago that I have to live with. It is one I cannot redo. I think there is something to be said about gaining experience and learning what works for your body. I do believe that one's virginity is a precious gift. I think the woman's letter was a beautiful testament to her life. I am not her. I actually never thought that way about virginity. I gave my virginity away willing because I was curious. I wanted to know. And, the reality is, it was a long time after that before I really knew. But, hey, that's life. We all have the freedom of choice. Choose wisely for you.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Let's Talk About...

the creative genius that is Shonda Rhimes! She is the creative force behind such hit shows as "Grey's Anatomy," "Private Practice," and the new "Scandal." I wanted to give her shows a chance because she was the only Black female who was a creator, executive producer, on tv. That alone was and still is a big deal. She lived up to all the hype surrounding her. She has the ability to spin a storyline arc that pulls you in. In one episode, she has so many things going on that you have to watch the next episode. She's just that good. 

I have been a fan of GA since the beginning. I've always liked medical dramas since "ER." The way Rhimes writes her characters is very intriguing. She writes these great, smart, flawed women. They are so real. I, mostly, love that about her female characters. She often makes them really weak and vulnerable when it comes to men, sex, and love. It infuriates me but I cannot stop watching. Her characters and their storyline are awesome. The finale made me cry from the opening scenes. Rhimes is excellent at writing a cliffhanger. She does this to me every season. And, every finale I say I'm done. But, of course, I'm not. I have to know what happens next. Rhimes knows this.

I've only seen PP a few times but it is pretty great too. Glad that she gave Taye Diggs a vehicle for his art. I like him. I do believe that her latest creation "Scandal" is on its way to being my fave. I've blogged about it here. The finales was last night and it was a doozy. I did not see all of those twists coming. I'm excited to see where she goes with it next season. Rhimes has introduced us to a new set of interesting characters. We don't know a lot about them yet. So, guess what? We'll be watching in the fall to find out more.

Rhimes deserves every accolade laid upon her. Her imagination os ridiculous to come up with all of the things she does for these shows. No storyline is repeated or something that has been done on another show before. Her ideas are always fresh and sometimes a little controversial. Remember this episode? She isn't afraid to take on the heavy. She is a woman with a plan. And I like that about her. So as long as she's writing for these characters, I'll probably be watching. As should you. I can't wait to see the season premieres of "Grey's Anatomy" and "Scandal" in the fall.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

May is...

Did you guys know that May is National Masturbation Month? I swear I had no idea. I do not know who comes up with this stuff but I find this one particularly interesting. I believe that there is nothing wrong with masturbation. In all honesty, I think that people, especially, women, need to know what works for their bodies first. If you know what works for you, then you can tell your partner how to get you there. There used to be a shroud of embarrassment that went along with touching yourself. The truth of the matter is there is no shame in knowing your body. It's yours. As a woman, you have to be comfortable enough within yourself to get yourself THERE! And, a man has to know what works for you to get you there as well.

So, in honor of this month, I found a few pictures as well as song that are an ode to the month. I know some believe that this topic is sort of taboo. I say its a part of life, whether we acknowledge it or not. I remember the first time I heard that masturbation was wrong. I wasn't old enough to really know what it was or why it was wrong. But, the reality is, kids talk and they hear things when people think they aren't listening. Learning about my body has been quite an experience. It was a a curious start and a very comfortable finish. I know my body, what I like and what I love. And, that can never be viewed as a bad thing. I think every one should get to know themselves intimately.

It's a subject that has lost its taboo in my mind as I got older. It came with the territory of learning myself and my sexuality. Oh and this next picture is just for your info. Pay attention :) So, hey touch yourself or allow someone to watch you touch yourself. Either way, enjoy the month of May. It's been a long time coming. Ha!

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Characters I Like

Scripted sitcoms are becoming a dying commodity. But, there are those shows that will forever mean something to me. I love a greatly written show with wonderful actors who portray well rounded characters. A question was asked in a group I'm in about our favorite characters. And, also why we liked them. It got me to thinking about the shows I've loved and the reasons behind it. So, I wanted to share with you guys my favorite characters of the last few years.

It is no secret that I am a huge fan of "The Wire." In my opinion, it was one of the most realistic pieces of cinematic gold in the last decade. You know a show is good when you find yourself wishing for the "bad guys" to win. Russell "Stringer" Bell was definitely a bad guy. He was the second in command in a multi-million dollar drug gang. He took his lofty ambitions of wealth to another level. He turned himself into a businessman. He was legitimizing their money. I loved that aspect of him. It does not hurt that Idris Elba is not hard on the eyes at all. I loved Stringer Bell, still do. I was sad to watch his demise but I knew it was all in the game.

A new favorite has to be Olivia Pope of "Scandal." She is portrayed by Kerry Washington and she is brilliant at it. Pope is a former attorney turned political fixer in the DC arena. She is smart, charming, witty and super slick. I like how tough and strong she is while still being vulnerable. The show is brand new, there have only been 5 episodes so far. I am excited to see where this show goes in the next season. I am even more excited about where Olivia goes and how she develops. IT is easy to see why she is a favorite of mine.

From the first episode of "Sex & the City," I was a Carrie Bradshaw fan. I loved how into love she was and the fact that she was a writer. I adored her fashion and her immense shoe collection. More than all of that, I loved the way that she saw life. Through all the loving and losing, she never became a cynic. She grew so much from season one to the end of the second movie. I was always a fan, even when she did things I didn't like or approve of. The show was a distinct part of my life as well as my friends. I saw myself in certain aspects of Carrie.

"Living Single" was my absolute favorite show. And, Maxine Shaw was my absolute favorite person on it. She was this no nonsense, brass, witty attorney in Brooklyn. She was sarcastic, intelligent, strong and funny as hell. She was amazing to me. I thought she was the most complete character on the show. She always knew who she was and what she wanted. I admired that about her character.

"Law and Order: SVU" has been a staple in my life for 13 seasons. Olivia Benson & Elliott Stabler are my absolute favorites. I loved their partnership. Especially the fact that they have never been romantically linked. They have just always been great friends and partners. This show is just amazing to me. I really miss Stabler though. I haven't been that into it this season. These are just some of my favorite characters on television. Who are some of yours? Let's dish!

Ladies Love Lyrics: Amel Larrieux "Make Me Whole"

I can honestly say that I was never the girl who had her wedding planned in her head. That just wasn't me. Now, older and wiser, I have some ideas. Earlier this week, I heard an old song for the first time in years. But, this time, the lyrics spoke to me in a way that they never could have before. I've been a fan of Amel Larrieux's since her Groove Theory days. Her voice is soothing to me. This song is right up there with "For Real" & "No One Else" as far as favorites go. It just touches me so deeply. I mean, she thanks his mother for giving birth to him. What? How amazing is that? This song will forever hold a place in my heart. I am also sure that it will play a huge part in my wedding day when it takes place. Get into these lyrics please. Enjoy!

"Darling I want you to listen
I stayed up all night, so I could get this thing right
And I don't think there's anything missing
Cause a person like you, made it easy to do
I've waited for so long, to sing to you this song

Cause your eyes are the windows to heaven
Your smile could heal a million souls
Your love completes my existence
You're the other half that makes me whole
You're the only other half that makes me whole

I think the angels are your brothers
They told you about me, said you're just what she needs
And I find myself thanking your mother
For giving birth to a saint
My spirit flies when I say your name
If there's one thing that's true
It's that I was born to love you

(chorus)Cause your eyes are the windows to heaven
Your smile could heal a million souls
Your love completes my existence
You're the other half that makes me whole
You're the only other half that makes me whole

You make my dreams
Come true over and, over again
And I honestly truly believe
You and me are written in the stars
I live my whole life through
To giving thanks to you..."

P.S. - "You make my dreams come true over and, over again." - This line right here...whew! #TRUTH

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Let's Check The List...

As, the November elections draw closer, I thought it would be wise to remind people just exactly what President Barack Obama has done thus far. I had some help via Google with some of these. Read, remember, and vote accordingly!

Here is a list of 109 things that Obama has accomplished during his presidency so far:

1. Saved the collapse of the American automotive industry by making GM restructure before bailing them out, and putting incentive money to help the industry.

2. Shifted the focus of the war from Iraq to Afghanistan, and putting the emphasis on reducing terrorism where it should have been all along.

3. Relaxed Anti-American tensions throughout the world.

4. Signed order to close the prisoner “torture camp” at Guantanamo Bay.

5. Has made the environment a national priority, and a primary source for job creation.

6. Has made education a national priority by putting emphasis and money behind new ideas like charter schools, but speaking directly to school children in telling them they have to do their part.

7. Won the Nobel Peace Prize.

8. $789 billion economic stimulus plan.

9. Appointment of first Latina to the Supreme Court.

10. Attractive tax write-offs for those who buy hybrid automobiles.

11. Authorized construction/opening of additional health centers to care for veterans.

12. Renewed dialogue with NATO and other allies and partners on strategic issues.

13. Beginning the process of reforming and restructuring the military 20 years after the Cold War to a more modern fighting force… this includes new procurement policies, increasing size of military, new technology and cyber units and operations, etc.

14. Better body armor is now being provided to our troops.

15. “Cash for clunkers” program offers vouchers to trade in fuel inefficient, polluting old cars for new cars; stimulates auto sales.

16. Changed the failing/status quo military command in Afghanistan.

17. Closed offshore tax safe havens.

18. Deployed additional troops to Afghanistan.

19. Ended media “blackout” on war casualties; reporting full information.

20. Ended previous policy of awarding no-bid defense contracts.

21. . Ended media blackout on war casualties and the return of fallen soldiers to Dover AFB.

22. Ended previous policy of cutting the FDA and circumventing FDA rules.

23. Ended previous practice of forbidding Medicare from negotiating with drug manufacturers for cheaper drugs; the federal government is now realizing hundreds of millions in savings.

24. Ended previous practice of having White House aides rewrite scientific and environmental rules, regulations, and reports.

25. American Recovery and Reinvestment Act has created 2.1 million jobs (as of 12/31/09).

26. Ended previous policy of not regulating and labeling carbon dioxide emissions.

27. Ended previous policy of offering tax benefits to corporations who outsource American jobs; the new policy is to promote in-sourcing to bring jobs back.

28. Ended previous policy on torture; the US now has a no torture policy and is in compliance with the Geneva Convention standards.

29. Launched to track spending from the Recovery Act, an unprecedented step to provide transparency and accountability through technology.

30. Ended previous practice of protecting credit card companies; in place of it are new consumer protections from credit card industry’s predatory practices.

31. Ended previous “stop-loss” policy that kept soldiers in Iraq/Afghanistan longer than their enlistment date.

32. Energy producing plants must begin preparing to produce 15% of their energy from renewable sources.

33. Established a National Performance Officer charged with saving the federal government money and making federal operations more efficient.

34. Established a new cyber security office.

35. Expanded the SCHIP program to cover health care for 4 million more children.

36. Expanding vaccination programs.

37. Families of fallen soldiers have expenses.

38. Provided the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) with more than $1.4 billion to improve services to America’s Veterans.

39. Federal support for stem-cell and new biomedical research.

40. Funds for high-speed, broadband Internet access to K-12 schools.

41. Responded with compassion and leadership to the earthquake in Haiti.

42. Immediate and efficient response to the floods in North Dakota and other natural disasters.

43. . Launched – enabling conversation and online collaboration between small business owners, government representatives and industry experts in discussion forums relevant to starting and managing a business. Great for the economy.

44. Improved housing for military personnel.

45. Improved conditions at Walter Reed Military Hospital and other military hospitals.

46. Changed failing war strategy in Afghanistan.

47. Improving benefits for veterans.

48. Increased infrastructure spending (roads, bridges, power plants…) after years of neglect.

49. Donated his $1.4 million Nobel Prize to nonprofits.

50. Increasing opportunities in AmeriCorps program.

51. Provided tax credits to first-time home buyers through the Worker, Homeownership, and Business Assistance Act of 2009 to revitalize the U.S. housing market.

52. Increasing pay and benefits for military personnel.

53. Increasing student loans.

54. Instituted a new policy on Cuba, allowing Cuban families to return “home” to visit loved ones.

55. Cracked down on companies that deny sick pay, vacation and health insurance to workers by abusing the employee classification of independent contractor. Such companies also avoid paying Social Security, Medicare and unemployment insurance taxes for those workers.

56. Limited salaries of senior White House aides; cut to $100,000.

57. Limits on lobbyists’ access to the White House.

58. Protected 300,000 education jobs, such as teachers, principals, librarians, and counselors through the Recovery Act that would have otherwise been lost.

59. Limits on White House aides working for lobbyists after their tenure in the administration.

60. Children’s Health Insurance Reauthorization Act on February 4, 2009, provides quality health care to 11 million kids – 4 million who were previously uninsured.

61. Lower drug costs for seniors.

62. Making more loans available to small businesses.

63. Many more press conferences and town halls and much more media access than previous administration.

64. . Signed the Christopher and Dana Reeve Paralysis Act, the first piece of comprehensive legislation aimed at improving the lives of Americans living with paralysis.

65. New Afghan War policy that limits aerial bombing and prioritizes aid, development of infrastructure, diplomacy, and good government practices by Afghans.

66. Announced creation of a Joint Virtual Lifetime Electronic Record for members of the U.S. Armed Forces to improve quality of medical care.

67. New federal funding for science and research labs.

68. New funds for school construction.

69. Ordered all federal agencies to undertake a study and make recommendations for ways to cut spending.

70. Ordered a review of all federal operations to identify and cut wasteful spending and practices.

71. . Negotiated deal with Swiss banks to permit US government to gain access to records of tax evaders and criminals.

72. Phasing out the expensive F-22 war plane and other outdated weapons systems, which weren’t even used or needed in Iraq/Afghanistan.

73. Reengaged in the agreements/talks on global warming and greenhouse gas emissions.

74. Provided tax credit to workers thus cutting taxes for 95% of America’s working families.

75. Reengaged in the treaties/agreements to protect the Antarctic.

76. Removed restrictions on embryonic stem-cell research.

77. . Helped reverse a downward spiral of the stock market. On January 19, 2009, the last day of President Bush’s presidency, the Dow closed at 8,218.22. In February 2010, the Dow closed at 10,309.24.

78. Renewed loan guarantees for Israel.

79. Restarted the nuclear non-proliferation talks and building back up the nuclear inspection infrastructure/protocols.

80. Provided attractive tax write-offs for those who buy hybrid automobiles.

81. Returned money authorized for refurbishment of White House offices and private living quarters.

82. Sent envoys to Middle East and other parts of the world that had been neglected for years; reengaging in multilateral and bilateral talks and diplomacy.

83. Unveiled a program on Earth Day 2009 to develop the renewable energy projects on the waters of our Outer Continental Shelf that produce electricity from wind, wave, and ocean currents. These regulations will enable, for the first time ever, the nation to tap into our ocean’s vast sustainable resources to generate clean energy in an environmentally sound and safe manner.

84. Signed national service legislation; expanded national youth service program.

85. States are permitted to enact federal fuel efficiency standards above federal standards.

86. Students struggling to make college loan payments can have their loans refinanced.

87. Successful release of US captain held by Somali pirates; authorized the SEALS to do their job.

88. The FDA is now regulating tobacco.

89. Ended the previous stop-loss policy that kept soldiers in Iraq/Afghanistan longer than their enlistment date.

90. The missile defense program is being cut by $1.4 billion in 2010.

91. The public can meet with federal housing insurers to refinance (the new plan can be completed in one day) a mortgage if they are having trouble paying.

92. The “secret detention” facilities in Eastern Europe and elsewhere are being closed.

93. US financial and banking rescue plan.

94. US Navy increasing patrols off Somali coast.

95. Signed the Weapons Systems Acquisition Reform Act to stop fraud and wasteful spending in the defense procurement and contracting system.

96. Visited more countries and met with more world leaders than any president in his first six months in office.

97. Improved relations with Iran.

98. Improved U.S. policy on climate change.

99. Set timetable for exiting Iraq (already started removing troops).

100. Improved relations with Russia.

101. Improved relations with the Islamic World.

102. Made progress towards greater cooperation on limiting nuclear proliferation.

103. Economic stimulus plan has created jobs. (Unemployment rate decreasing).

104. Drastically slowed down the recession.

105. Saved Wall Street.

106. Passed the Lilly Ledbetter Act (equal work for equal pay).


108. Ordered the military operation that killed Osama Bin Laden.

109. Was the first sitting President to take a definitive stand on the issue of marriage equality.

Do You Know Marisa Alexander? You Should.

This photo says it all. The United States justice system is all screwed up. It needs a major overhaul. 31 year old Marisa Alexander is facing a mandatory 20 year sentence. Did she kill anyone? No. Did she attempt to kill someone? No. She is the abused wife of a man who has not been charged with anything. Marisa, in fear of her life, fired a warning shot into the ceiling of her home to stop her husband from beating her. Her husband claimed he was going to kill her. A warning shot that did not hit anyone mind you. And, now Marisa is looking at a 20 year sentence in Florida. What is wrong with this picture?

It seems as though white is the only right color in the state of Florida. This is the same state that did not find Casey Anthony guilty, even though her daughter is dead and she was the last one with her. This is the same state that took 44 days to arrest Zimmerman for the murder of Trayvon Martin. Oh and this is also the same state that stole the 2000 election for the brother of Governor Jeb Bush. But, again, I digress. Seriously, what is your problem, Florida? When is it ever ok for the abused to be charged when she didn't do anything?

Marisa's case has been deemed not worthy of the ridiculous "Stand Your Ground" law. Her requests for a retrial have been denied. It seems as though her race has been a factor. I cannot wrap my mind around this case. How is she in jail? Why is she the one facing these years? What about her abuser? Why is he walking free? This is a serious miscarriage of justice. As a woman who loves politics and the law, this case pisses me off. Especially in light of other current Florida cases. This is why people have no faith in the courts or the cops. Why should they? We see too many cases that end wrong. This is just wrong. Marissa Alexander’s sentencing is scheduled for May 11. My prayers a re definitely with her. In closing, I will leave you with a paragraph from another blog. I read the following and it made so much sense.

"The blog Wonkette reacted to Judge Daniel’s ruling by saying, “In Florida, as it turns out, being in ‘genuine fear of your life’ means that you’re white and your attacker is black, so clearly that was her first mistake. Also, if you really want to Stand Your Ground you have to call the police only to ignore their instructions anyway, so there’s that. And crucially, it doesn’t say anywhere if her husband was wearing a hoodie when he was threatening to beat her up, which we hear is a relevant aspect of whether or not black men are actually scary.”

As of Friday, May 11th, Marisa was sentenced to 20 years in jail for protecting herself. Where is the justice in this? Smh.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Are You Mom Enough?

This was the cover of Time magazine last week. It had to be done to evoke strong emotions from people. It has become one of the controversies of last week. My first reaction was disbelief followed quickly by slight disgust. I have no issues with breastfeeding. I think the act is beyond nurturing and natural. My reaction has to do with the child's age. The kid looks 6 but he's actually almost 4. Which by the way, I think its way too old to me. Breastfeeding has been a hot topic for as long as I can remember. I wasn't expecting to see this image on a magazine cover.

I have plans to breastfeed when I have kids. It's WHAT I've always wanted to do. I know, from my own research, that it is healthier for the babies. It's also been proven that breastfed babies are smarter and have better immune systems. I would pump as well as feed from my breasts. I want to have the connection with my kids if I am able to. That's my personal choice. What I'm not a big supporter of is breastfeeding in public. I wouldn't do it. That's why I would pump beforehand.

The reason the Time magazine cover is so shocking and ridiculous to me is the child's age. The kid is almost 4 and he looks 6 easily. I believe if a child is potty trained and can speak full sentences than he/she does not need to be attached to my breast. I will not be breastfeeding a 3 year old. I think, if possible, that I would want to breastfeed my children until they were 18 - 24 months. Anything past that could lead to issues. I would hate for my child to cause a scene behind my breast in public. To each their own but this future Mommie is not for it. That's not the life I want to live.

The magazine cover puts a face and an image to a real issue. I've read stories of women breastfeeding school aged kids. That is a problem for me. It reminds me of the oral fixation stage that Freud made popular. He says that weaning a child too early or too late can lead to problems later on in life. These problems can be overeating, sarcastic oral personality, nail biting, sexual oral fixation and others. As a woman, I don't know why anyone would want to be tied down to breastfeeding a child for 3, 5, or 7 years. That's insane to me! I just don't think that would be feasible. Breastfeeding is the way I plan on going. I just won't stay on that road for years and years.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Mother, May I?

Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful mothers out there. Today has made me reflect on my past & contemplate my future. I am certain that my Mom was the best Mom. I never had to question if I was loved or if she cared. She told me constantly. She was active in my life & my education. She was present in every aspect of who I was becoming. She is the foundation for the type of mother I want and aim to be one day. Along the way, other mothers have given me indirect pointers as well. It's amazing the things you learn when you don't even realize it. I've been blessed to know some incredible woman who also happen to be incredible mothers. This post is as much about them as it is me.

My Mom has been awesome to me & my brother. She was both parents for most of our lives. She is the woman who instilled how important school was to us while working two or three jobs, keeping house & cooking meals. I know it wasn't easy for her. It couldn't have been. She never had time for herself. She was always tired but she kept going. As a teenager, I, of course, thought she was the meanest woman on Earth. She had rules & regulations that I hated then. In hindsight, I'm thankful for them. Her rules kept me from becoming a statistic. Her rules gave me structure. There are so many things I learned from her that I will definitely pass on to my own daughters & sons one day. My Mom & I are friends now. The relationship we share now is what I cherish the most. I want that for me & my future kids.

Mommie & I

My biggest wish in life is simple. When I have kids, I want to be the best influence on them. I want them to have a great childhood filled with memories & stories that they will share with everyone. I want our house to be full of love, understanding, compassion, knowledge, and laughter. Especially the laughter. A child's laughter truly makes my heart smile. I can't even imagine what my own children's laughter will do to me. I'm sure I'm going to be the sensitive, crying Mommie but I'll try to keep it to a minimum in public. I will make sure that they know they are loved by telling them daily & giving them hugs & kisses. They will know what love looks & feels like from their parents. I want them to be able to come to me for & with anything. I want to give them the world. And, yes, I'll probably spoil them to some extent. But, they'll belong to me & my husband, so we can do that.

Every woman who gives birth isn't necessarily a Mother. It takes more than that. A Mother puts in the time, effort & work to raise her child. To me, Mother's Day is about honoring the mothers who truly fit the definition of that word. I aspire to be a part of that elusive group. Today I honor my Mom Yolanda, my Aunts Gina & Nina, my Sisters Kennesha & Shanterri, my Cousins Ty, Reese, Darlisha, & my friends Niaga, Kristal, Shantell, & Shay. These mothers inspire me. They make me want to be more for my future children. Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers who are reading this right now. This future mother appreciates you!

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Did He Really Just Say That?

“One of the primary reasons…is because women are taking over…They’re in high, so-called powerful positions, they’re running companies, they’re making decisions, and not all, not all, not all….[I'm getting] a funny face now…There are some, a few logical women who can make sound decision[s], but most cannot. And the unfortunate thing is they’re in powerful positions…The one thing I know for sure without a doubt [is that] women cannot handle power…It’s not real power anyway. Power that the world give you is not power. It’s all ego-building.” - Reverend Jesse Lee Peterson.

Sir, really? The above quote came from a Black man. Yes, it did. And, yes he said that. And, honestly, no I cannot believe he said it. I came across a link on Twitter to this site and I was floored. IS it not 2012? Has he as well as the Republicans forgotten that? I am so completely stupefied that someone could say something so utterly ignorant in this day and age.

If you need more, please feel free to watch the video above. It is as much of a hate speech as anything else I've ever heard. Its hard for me to believe that a Black man could say this. I guess he forgot that it wasn't that long ago that he wasn't allowed a vote wither. Hell, he wasn't even counted as a whole person. Why would you want to disenfranchise a group of people when you yourself has been disenfranchised? I do not get that. That kind of backwards hatred really makes no sense. I know how hard people fought for civil rights and women's rights. I am thankful for both of those plights. Without them, I wouldn't be allowed to have a voice. Where would I be if I couldn't voice my opinions and feelings? I deserve to be heard. Thankfully its 2012 and I have that right. I also fully exercise that right.

I cannot believe that the women in this congregation sat and listened to this crap. There was no uproar or outcry of the ridiculousness of this. "Women cannot handle power." Really sir? How the hell did you come to this conclusion? This man said that God gave man the power. But, correct me if I'm wrong but wasn't Eve taken from Adam's rib? Wouldn't that mean that she has power as well? Women cannot handle power says who? Women birth and raise men. Sometimes alone. Women, especially Black women, have been the backbone of this country for years and years. I am disgusted by this so called Reverend. How are you a man of the cloth and you are degrading women and disgusing it as the word. It isn't. I am embarrassed by this Black man and his entire platform. I cannot even write about it anymore.

This is the world we live in. Everyone is allowed to have their opinions, no matter how simple or small minded they are. Women are people too. We deserve the right to say, vote, do, whatever we please with our minds, mouths and bodies. They belong to us. I am sick of men trying to dictate what and how a woman should act, be do or behave. I had a Father. I don't need another one in the form of some misguided, misogynistic reverend behind the pulpit. Thanks but no thanks. I'd vote no on that referendum, Rev. Peterson. I would like for him and men like him to all take a seat and shut up already. If you do not have something intelligent to add to the dialogue, do us all a favor and zip it. We don't care to know anymore. Maybe if there were more women in power positions things would be a whole lot different, better.This educated, voting, sexual woman will continue to do all of the above and then some. And, you sir, will deal!!

Friday, May 11, 2012

Marriage Equality

On Wednesday, May 9th, President Barack Obama set a precedent. He announced that he believed in marriage equality. He said that he believed that "same sex couples should have the right to get married." This was a huge political move. Some may even call it risky. I think it was a calculated risk. It is a hot button topic right now. I do no think the President could afford to stay silent much longer. The question has been asked. He finally gave an answer, his answer. I respect him for that. His answer brought on a storm. Everyone had something to say. Right wing, left wing, everyone. Some had not so nice things to say. But, we all have opinions and we're entitled to them. I have no issue with the President taking a firm stand. It makes him a better President to me.

There are things that I believe that the government should have no part in. Marriage happens to be one of them. There are many things that I do not get or understand. But, what I do get and understand is LOVE. And, I think that any two people, who are of legal age, should be allowed to married. Their race or sex should not play a part in determining who gets to marry. Let's be clear here, the state of marriage in the United States is failing. 50% of all first marriages end in divorce. So, I refuse to believe that allowing same sex marriages would somehow disrupt the sanctity of marriage. North Carolina passed a law that deems same sex marriage illegal. This s the same state where John Edwards is on trial for misusing funds with his mistress. The same mistress he had while running for President and while his wife was dealing with cancer. That sounds like a disruption to a marriage. Oh and he had a baby, which he denied, with said mistress.

Let me get this right. A gay couple who have been together for years and are clearly in love cannot get married. But Kim Kardashian is allowed to be married for 72 damn days? Where is the sanctity of that marriage? OR the fact that Newt Gingrich has been married 4 times? I think people have things messed up. What I find most disturbing about this is the opinion of Christians. On Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr, I have read the most hateful things from so called Christians. I do not call myself a perfect Christians. But, I know enough about the Bible and God's word to know that judging anyone is no bueno. "Judge not lest ye be judged." (Matt. 7:1) But, I guess they all forgot about that particular scripture.

I know that some of this announcement comes from playing the political game. I'm a politics girl, I get that. But, I also believe that President Obama would not have taken a stand if this was not what he believed in. He decided that what was going on was unfair. I agree with him. I have been reading that people believe that this will cost him in the election. I believe that no matter what fundamental or situational issue I disagree with the President on, none of them will ever be solved by voting for a Republican especially Mitt Romney. Romney does not have my best interest at heart. Yes, I like President Obama. No, I do not believe that he is a saint or savior. He is just a man with a great political plan. It's a bonus that he is a Black man with a Black family. His family mirrors my own. I identify with him.

Whether or not this will harm or help the President, will not be proven until November. I don't think it will. He still has my vote. That hasn't changed. I have a feeling that it won't sway that many people. And, if it does, then they could not have been Democrats in the first place. I refuse to ever vote Republican unless their rhetoric changes drastically. Which I doubt will ever happen. Same sex marriages aren't an issue for me. The people who want to bring the Bible in this need to realize that one can only stand up for their lives on judgement day. I commend Barack Obama for his words and his choice. It makes me proud of him.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

The First Time...

I Love You. Three little words that mean so much. Eight little letters that can virtually change lives. It's something that until I was in my late 20's that I truly understood the true meaning of it. Yes, I've said it before then. Once to someone I didn't love at all. I only said it because he said it. Sad but true. I said it to my first love as well. But, we weren't the saying I love you all the time types. That should've been the biggest red flag. I conveniently missed it. I remember that before I only said it as a response. I never was the person who initiated the love conversation. I didn't think a girl was supposed to say it first. Then, I grew up and left that little girl behind. I became a woman who had to get those words out someway. Because I felt them and they needed to be said. But, luckily, I found my way back to love again. This time, it was different.

I was completely surprised to find myself in love again. I wasn't looking for it. Actually, I had decided that my life would be better without it. I was in a weird emotional space then. I remembering dreaming that I told him I loved him. I woke up and my first thought was "Oh my God, I'm in love with him! When did it happen?" I also remember smiling about that thought. When I realized I was falling in love when seeing his name on my cell conjured up the butterflies. I tried to deny it because I was sure I wasn't worthy of it. I pushed it way down deep inside. Little did I know that it doesn't work like that.

I remember the exact moment I wanted to say "I love you" to him. It was the Saturday after Thanksgiving 2010. I stopped myself. I literally ate those words because I was scared that he wouldn't know what to do with them. Or that he didn't feel the same so he wouldn't reciprocate. I knew he like me a lot and that he cared about me. But we were talking about love. This was huge and new for me and him too. I was a mess emotionally that day. I was crying and couldn't get my thoughts together. I held it in for about two weeks. I actually wrote it in Spanish on a blog. He saw and of course my guy asked me what it meant. I knew then that he felt the same. We finally said those words to each other. And, once they were out, we've never stopped saying them.

Yes, I was afraid of his response. But, I also knew that I loved him enough to handle it. There comes a lot of responsibility with those words. People shouldn't say them if they don't mean it. I tell my nieces and nephews I love them all the time. Because I want that to be a big part of their memories of me. As far as romantically, I've not been a woman who's loved a lot. But, I love hard and deep. And, I always mean it when I say it now. There is no other way to say that. I Love You. Three little words. Eight little letters. Mean it when you say it. Tell me your first time I love you stories. I want to know.

Wednesday, May 09, 2012

The Best Laid Plans

What is it about making plans? Is it just me or do they never go accordingly? That old saying comes to mind. You know "you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans." I wholeheartedly believe this. I think we believe that our plans are our way of trying to make things happen. God already has a plan for our lives. We may not see it as clearly as our own. I think that's what makes interrupted plans so aggravating. When plans go awry, it messes with me. I like control and order.

It's funny how something so simple can throw your whole day off. I don't have to stick to a schedule. I don't live by it. I just like to have a plan. It makes my dreams (short and long term) seem obtainable. That makes me happy. Helps me move forward. I think plans are awesome. I'm the person who makes lists, mental and physical. But, such is life. Plans fall apart, they can evolve to something else. Plans are sometimes meant to be broken. Maybe I should make less plans. And spend more time actually living my life. That sounds like the ultimate plan to me.

Tuesday, May 08, 2012

Classic Music: Alicia Keys "Songs in a Minor"

I remember the first time I heard of Alicia Keys. I heard her song "Fallin" and I was sold. The song was infectious. It was something about the melody. Her debut cd was released in June 2001. I was in summer school and I was obsessed with it. It had the feeling of a young person with an old soul. I think that was the appeal for me. I have always been that way. One of my favorite tracks on the cd was her remake of Brian McKnight's "Never Felt This Way" made me love her more. It's still one of my favorite songs by both artists.

She was something new and different. She was a singer, song writer, pianist and producer. She relied on her talent alone. She wasn't dancing all over the stage. She was purely an artist. This cd will always hold a special place in my heart. It got me through summer school. I played it exclusively and continuously. Eleven years later, I still feel the same way. A classic cd never loses it luster. Enjoy.

Monday, May 07, 2012

Refreshing Weekend

At the end of an odd week, there are fewer things that can make me feel better. I took the time this weekend to decompress from everything. I was in desperate need of something other than what the week had given me. I just wanted to not do anything, sleep and rejuvenate myself. My weekend consisted of some things that I truly needed. One being undivided attention. Yes, that makes me sound spoiled. I am. And, I am fortunate enough to have people in my life who are willing to cater to that aspect of me and I to them.There was nothing that I did that was specifically special. I was literally a bum on Saturday. It was well after 3 before I got out of the bed. I barely watched any tv. I felt no need to mindlessly watch anything.

Sometimes that's all that is needed to refresh your outlook. I am completely rested and well aware. I slept great this weekend. Had a few great conversations. Laughed til it hurt. Smiled from deep within while listening to him talk. Blogged for the entire week. Finished two different books. Listened to some great R&B. I barely watched tv. I was thoroughly entertained by the conversations I had. They were all awesome. And, most of all, I just relaxed. I let go of the world and was all about me. After a weird week, I let myself be taken care of. It's a wonderful feeling to know that I can let go and everything won't fall a part. I feel as though I can take on the world. And, all it took was a little time away from everyone but my guy. I had no idea that this past weekend would be as wonderful as it was. But, I am beyond glad that it was. Hope everyone's weekend was as good as mine's was

Sunday, May 06, 2012

Confession: I'm a Closet Fan of...

Rihanna. Yes, it's true. I like her. But, this has more to do with her online personality, fly ass fashion sense and overall don't give a f attitude. I can honestly say that some of her music is catchy. The beats are always on point. As are the lyrics. Her vocals still leave much to be desired. As do her less than stellar dance moves. Besides all of that, she has somehow managed to turn herself into a rockstar. She is always on the blogs, in the magazines and the topic of conversation.

She has am amazing body. She knows what works for her fashion wise. She can rock almost any hair color. She's been black, brown, red and blond. The black has always been her best look. I really became a fan after following her on Twitter. She seems to just not care. She is young, rich and famous. And she is enjoying the hell out of it. I think that's what o like the most about her. She just seems like a fun girl. So, this is my Sunday confession. I'm a closeted Rihanna fan. Sue me.

Saturday, May 05, 2012

Cinco de Drinko

I haven't celebrated Cinco de Mayo since 2003. Before that day, I was always up for a holiday that encouraged drinking. No, I'm not of Spanish descent as far as I know. The holiday is big business in the Big Easy. Hell, every holiday is here. But, this particular holiday stands out. There was lots of laughter, drinking, music, bars and boys. We had a blast. I remember the sun being up when we got home. The next day was a whole 'nother story. Let me tell you about Cinco de Mayo 2003.

My friend Shauna and I set out on this Cinco de Drinko to a downtown bar crawl. We did not pre-game (drink before we hit the streets). I really had no intentions of drinking an abnormal amount. I just wanted to go out. So, we get to bar #1. As soon as we walk in the door, we spot some high school friends who are buying shots. Tequila shots. I was not a tequila drinker. But, of course, that didn't stop me or Shauna. 3 shots later, we were on to bar #2. Sidenote: I cannot recall the name of none of the bars. Hence me numbering them. The highlight of bar #2 were Belve dirty martinis. I think I had two. I think. There was a lot of laughter, loud music, and bar dancing. We were definitely enjoying Cinco de Mayo.

Bar #3 ended with body shots. This time, they were "Blowjobs." I don't know what was in them. They were topped with whipped cream. I had two or three. This is where things get fuzzy. Bar #4 introduced the "I Never" game. I was on my way to being drunk. I drank a bottle of water to prevent that. Shots of tequila were the drink of choice. The game was never-ending. After this, we were done. We made our way to the fifth and final bar. And, devoured dollar pizza before taking our last drinks. We had some drinks with tequila. They were free, so we were drinking. I don't remember much after that. But, the next day, was horrible. I was hungover. That is an understatement.

Cinco de Mayo has never been the same for me. I associate it with tequila. I hate tequila. Bad memories of spending too much time on the bathroom floor on the 6th of May. The night itself was absolutely wonderful. Shauna and I had a blast. I regretted drinking so much tequila. It was never my cup of tea. I don't know why I remembered this story. Maybe it's because I've had such an oddly weird week. A drink may be in order. But, anyway, I hope all of you who celebrate have a great day. Drink responsible. Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

Friday, May 04, 2012

"You Female!"

There is a discussion that has been taking place online for some time now. It is about the word "Female" and how degrading it is. Really? The Republicans are waging war against women's equality, fair pay and reproductive rights. And, this is what people want to harp on? Come on women, we have bigger, better fights to conquer. A "female" is defined as "a person bearing two x chromosomes in the cell nuclei and normally having a vagina, a uterus, and ovaries," or "An organism of the sex or sexual phase that normally produces egg cells." ( I'm confused. Does that definition not define who women are? I know that it defines me as a woman. So how did a simple term become so degrading?

I find the discussion utterly ridiculous. As women, don't we have other things to discuss? I cannot even muster up a *excuse my language* fcuk to give about it. Being called a bitch is degrading. Being called a nigger is degrading. Being called a female, which I am, is not. I am not hurt by that word. There are no negative connatations associated with this word. And, the ones I have seen seem to be particularly to the writer. Women are we that starved for drama that we have to make it up now? And, what's even more bizarre is the fact that its Black women who are having the biggest problem with the word. In 2012, Black women have so many other things to worry about. A word shouldn't be one of them. It just makes no sense.

Let me be clear, I am many things. Female and woman are always at the head of that list. They are who I am biologically. Why would that be degrading or offensive to me? It isn't nor could it truly be. I think people are up in arms behind the wrong thing. A woman is a female as is a female is a woman. They are one in the same. It's not a fight that needs to be fought. Those who are doing so should quickly have a seat. I find myself laughing as I type this. Because it is comical to say the least. We, as women, as females, need to focus our energies on other plights. If we stop paying attention to the world, the Republicans will have taken away all of our rights. Pay attemtion to what's really real, females!

Thursday, May 03, 2012

Hyper-emotional Week

What is it about women's hormones that makes us extra emotional once a month? I hate this part about being a woman. I hate that my body and my usually sensible emotions betray me every 28 days. It's like the tiniest things set me off. So far this week, I've cried every day. Over things that normally wouldn't get me all amped up. It's almost as if I'm a different person right before my cycle shows up.

Why is this our lives, women? How unfair is it? In general, I am a strong, brassy woman. I have a pretty good poker face. I've learned how to hold my emotions in. I only allow some to see me that way. But, for the last 3 days, I've been this other side of me. This soft and pink and weepy side of me. I do not like. I literally cried over the picture of a baby. Yes, I did. I'm not proud of this. But, clearly I cannot help it. I would love it if I could though.

I find myself a bit irrational. So I try no to project that on to others. It's all my pms related emotions. They are all over the place. So its hard to deal sometimes. I'd rather just get in bed and bury my head under the comforter. I know that it is just the way life is. I blame those weaklings Adam and Eve for this. It'll all be over soon so there's that. I know it could be worse. It actually has been worse before. Tomorrow's another day for me to fight the good fight.

Wednesday, May 02, 2012

Get Into It: SPIKE's "Repo Games"

I absolutely love when I find little gems on tv. This is exactly what happened when I discovered Spike Tv's "Repo Games." The premise of this show is simple. A crew shows up to repossess a car but the owner had a chance to not only win the car back but also have the car paid off. There are 5 questions and they only have to get 3 correct. Seems simple right? Not so much with the people on this show. The questions are varied but general. They are things that people should know. What I've learned is what people should know isn't always what they do know. This show is hilarious to me.

What really makes me laugh is how indignant folks get when they find out that their car is being repossessed. Like sir/ma'am, you do know that you haven't paid your car note right? So, why are you shocked and appalled that the Repo man is here? Their reactions are wide ranging. But, they are almost always highly upset. This may be cruel but I always rally that the most indignant, rude owners lose their car. Only because they are so ridiculous to me. I have no idea how long this show has been around. I'm just happy that I've found it. It shows on Tuesdays @ 10:30pm. I suggest that everyone check it out. The laughs are guaranteed. I love it. Love.

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

Hypocrisy in the (Black) Church

You know what I can't stand? All of the hypocrisy and fakeness and fronting that goes on in Black churches. It became to much for me, so I bowed out. It's exhausting to me to deal with all of that when all I want is the word. I don't care about a personal clout in the church. That doesn't impress me much. That isn't why I went to church. I was never there for that. I've been in and out of church all my life. When I got more serious about my walk with God, I realized that I needed more. That was the beginning of a journey for me.

It kills me that some people believe that showing up in church every Sunday will solidly their place in Heaven. How so? What about your actions the rest of the week? I mean, if you're causing hell all week, why would you think that Heaven will be your reward? That is not the way I believe that this works. I find that the biggest hypocrites live in the church. I've seen it with my own eyes in the church I used to attend, with people I know (some in my own family). God does not only see what we do in his house. He watches over us all the time. I think people think they can manipulate God. I don't. We are all supposed to strive to be more Christ-like. I know that I'm not there nor do I claim to be. In the words of a good friend of mine, I am a struggling Christian.

I know my shortcomings. But, I also don't pretend to be holier than others. That is one of my biggest issues with the modern day Black church. It's become a fashion show and a multi-millón dollar business. Somewhere, along the way, the Lord's word & message has gotten lost. It's one of the main reasons I left my church home. I wasn't being fed spiritually. I was empty. So I left in search of more. I took my spiritually into my own hands. I would love to find a church home again. But, I know my standards will make it hard. I need a place that is good for me spiritually.

I know hypocrites are a dime a dozen. I will probably never be free of them. I just would rather they not be in by circle. My spirituality has not been hindered by this. It has actually made me better. This situation has made me more aware. I needed to read and explore the Bible on my own. I need to understand more than a preacher's sermon. And, now I have that for myself. I have a better understanding of the word for myself. That makes me happy. In spite of the reason of why I got here, I'm happy that it has made me better.