Saturday, December 31, 2011

Saying Adieu

2011 is done. I cannot believe how quickly this year has passed. It doesn't seem like it's been a year. This year has come and gone. 2011 was, for the most part, good. It started off pretty great, fell into an abyss of awfulness and rebounded nicely. There are things that happened this year that I wouldn't dare to change. There are other things that occurred that still make me sad when I think of them. I know that life is all about accepting the good with the bad. All things considered, I survived 2011. I cannot lie though, at one point I wasn't too sure if that was going to happen. This year was all about introspection. I'm never too concerned about how people (minus a few) view me. I like to look at myself clearly. I spent a lot of time doing that this year.

I've learned a lot about myself. I know now that I still have the annoying habit of standing in my own way. When things are not going the way I want them to, I still tend to overthink. My imagination is ill, always has been. I spent way too much time this summer playing out the most outlandish scenarios because I was worried, petrified and lost. Too many times this year, I allowed my emotions to move me. I cut people out because I didn't want to deal. I know better and I've done better. I don't like acknowledging my faults but I have to in order to grow. I stopped diligently reading the Bible. But I've rectified that lately. I think that there are some areas of my life that I'm not doing enough. I just want to be a better woman.

I opened my heart so much this year. I allowed love to just live in me. I worked on the relationships that meant the most to me. I couldn't be any happier about that. I tried my hardest to write/blog every day. It wasn't easy. But, I wrote more this year than I have in a long time. I also tackled somr issues on my blog that I didn't plan to. But, I was told a writer should always write what's on their heart. I followed that advice, especially when it felt uncomfortable. That's when I think I wrote the best. I plan on continuing that. I reconnected with family members at our first family reunion in almost 30 years. It was the highlight of my summer. I finally took the jump into going natural. I'm not sure where this will lead but I'm trying.

Sometimes in life, we spend so much time reacting instead of acting. I hate letting anyones action determine my reactions. I've don't that too much this year. I vow to be an actionary woman in the new year. I've grown so much in the last year. I'm so proud of the many areas that I've allowed myself to grow. I stay in my head a lot because I love for things to be right. This year was amazing in many ways but one area stands out. I've been a woman in love this year. That love has changed me forever. I have become a woman I never knew existed. Just the mere thought of him makes me so happy at any given moment. There aren't enough words to fully explain how I feel. I tell him often, daily, subconsciously. I can't even stop myself from saying it. That's how deep it is. I have no clue what I did to deserve him, this. But, Lord knows I'm so grateful. Highlight of 2011 for me has been this love, his love.

Writing has been my saving grace this year. I completely forgot how freeing it was for me. Committing myself to writing everyday helped me remember this. I love to write. I love the written word. For me, starting with a simple idea and fleshing it out isn't work. It's my passion. Expressing myself through words is nothing new. But, sharing those words with all of you is. It's as scary as it is exciting. When I hit that "publish post" button, I am always holding my breath a little. It's an experience that I thoroughly enjoy though. Last year, I said that I wanted to blog every day. I hate that I fell short on my goal, even though it wasn't by much. This year, I have posted 318 blogs. That is three times as many blogs than I did in 2010! That's such a huge feat for me. I am so proud of myself. I think my writing has expanded so much. I am excited about what topics I will touch on in the future. Sometimes, I cannot find inspiration anywhere. And there are times when I find it everywhere. I write about the things that affect me. I love having this medium as an outlet. Whether if I was happy or sad or whatever, I wrote through it. I'm thankful for everyone who took the time out to read my words, even if you didn't comment. I will continue to write because it makes me happy. I hope to continue doing what makes my heart happy.

2011 has been one for the books. It was good, bad, and indifferent at any given time. I can't say that I'm sad to see it go though. I've never been big on new years resolutions. I just always strive to be better than I was before in all areas. I'm looking forward to 2012. I will continue to work on me. Continue to work towards what I want. I know that everything that I've experienced this year will just make me stronger and more appreciative of everything. I hope I made your year a little brighter through my words here. And, hopefully, I can continue to do so in the coming year. Thank you for coming in to my world. Happy New Year to everyone reading this!!!

Friday, December 30, 2011

My Top 11 of 2011

This is my end of the year wrap up. A few lists of 11 things that stood out to me. There were songs, movies, tv shows, CDs, and sports moments that made my year. 2011 was full of some pretty great moments. What were some of yours? Leave them in the comment section below. Here we go!

11) Rihanna "Birthday Cake"
10) Jill Scott "Hear My Call"
09) Frank Ocean "Novacane"
08) Bridget Kelly "Thinking Bout Forever"
07) JCole/Missy "Nobody's Perfect"
06) Drake "Look What You've Done"
05) Beyonce "I Miss You"
04) Jeezy/Jay-Z/Andre 3000 "I Do"
03) Adele "Set Fire To The Rain"
02) Wale "Illest B***h Alive"
01) Jay-Z & Kanye West "N***as In Paris" & "Gotta Have It"

11) Jessie J "Who You Are"
10) Marsha Ambroius "Late Nights, Early Mornings"
09) Leidisi "Pieces Of Me"
08) J. Cole "Cole World: Sideline Story"
07) Amy Winehouse "Lioness:Hidden Treasures"
06) Jeezy "TM103"
05) Drake "Take Care"
04) Wale "Ambition"
03) Beyonce "4"
02) Adele "21"
01) Jay-Z & Kanye West "Watch The Throne"

°Movies/TV shows°
11) "The Lincoln Lawyer"
10) The Good Wife
09) "Breaking Dawn Part I"
08) Switched At Birth
07) "Transformers: Dark of the Moon"
06) Reed Between The Lines
05) "Fast Five"
04) Happy Endings
03) Revenge
02) "Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows Part II"
01) "Columbiana"

°Sports Moment°
11) Mavs Championship Win
10) Celtics Bad Start
09) Shortened NBA season
08) Odom trade/crying interview/ejection from 1st game
07) Suh fine/suspension
06) Packers ridiculous season
05) Colts disappointing season
04) ULL N.O. Bowl win
03) Chris Paul league denied trade/eventual trade
02) Drew Brees Record breaking
01) NBA Lockout

Adventures In Cooking: Domesticated Diva II

In my never-ending quest for knowledge, I've decided that 2012 will be the year I conquer "outside of my box" cooking. I like to cook, love to bake. I really enjoy being in the kitchen pulling it all together. Even if its just for me. I can cook a lot of staple meals. I almost always cook the same things. I need to explore new avenues. That is on my to do list in the new year.

I'm also realizing that I prefer cooking from scratch. I thoroughly enjoy creating things on any level. So, of course, cooking would be no different. I enjoy looking up recipes online and then making them my own. I am always super impressed with myself when the results are even better than I imagined. There is something truly fulfilling about knowing that it all came from you. I have been cooking for a long time. But, this is the first time I can say I really enjoy doing it. It was necessity before. Now, it's a luxury that I relish.

New and more daring dishes will be forthcoming. I am sure I will start with Chinese food. I love it and want to try my hand at it. I have to buy a wok too. This adventure is going to be fun and interesting. I am very excited to see what my hands can come up with. Cooking is a joy that I hope all of you enjoy as well. It makes me happy. I'm going to try my hand at a few cake recipes as well. That should definitely be a great thing. This Domesticated Diva will see you guys in the new year and in the kitchen. Cook on!

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Biggest Stories of The Year

There were some huge media stories this year. Many captured my attention for months. I always seem to get caught up in stories that have to do with the law, politics and crimes. There were more than a handful of those things year. Some had really happy endings, some did not. Some of these stories still make me angry to even write about them. These are, however, the ones who held my attention and all of my opinions.

° Casey Anthony Not Guilty - One of the biggest miscarriages of justice I've ever seen. The bottom line is Caylee is dead. She was killed and there was no justice served here. The evidence in the case was circumstantial but there was clearly a body. The trial was a media circus. And, I truly believe had Casey been a minority woman instead of a white one, she would be behind bars on death row. I'm disgusted with our legal system. There is no reason that Caylee should be dead and her Mom is not in jail.

° Troy Davis executed - This man's trial and conviction were another sad injustice case. Eye witnesses recanted their stories. He was granted a few stay of executions. This year, his luck ran out. Troy Davis was executed and there is a great chance that he wasn't guilty of what he was charged with. The difference here is he is a Black man accused of killing a white cop. Justice is not blind. I never believed that. But I saw it clearly this summer.

° Amanda Knox freed from Italian jail - This case made everyone I know rethink any long extended stays overseas. I believe this woman was falsely accused, prosecuted, and jailed. She spent for years in an Italian jail n a murder charge. Besides the fact that the victim was her flatmate, there was no physical evidence linking her to the crime. She was railroaded for being a young American girl who had a appetite for sex. The Italian papers depicted Amanda as some sex goddess and the murder as a crime of passion due to illicit sex. The conviction was overturned and she is back on U.S. soil. I would never leave home again if I were her.

° Herman Cain/Michelle Bachmann/Sarah Palin/GOP clusterfuck - The Republican party has become a joke. There is not one leader amongst the group of contenders for the 2012 elections. It is literally a group of clowns. One worse than their predecessor. The Tea Party is even more of a joke. I never thought I'd see the day that a Black man would run my country. I'm so glad I lived to see it. I also never could have predicted that the plethora of closeted racists would show their true colors when this happened. I am appalled at the actions and words of people who literally hate President Obama. The closer it get to the election day, the crazier they will become. Just watch and see.

° Watch The Throne cd/tour - Biggest thing in music this year. Great cd from two amazing artists. Even greater concert. Incredible music, especially performed live, makes me happy. Watch The Throne was all of the above for me. I may be biased by it is what it is. The night WTT dropped, I remember being on Twitter. It was the ONLY topic discussed. It was amazing to experience the music at the exact same time as everyone else in the world. It was the only cd I listened to for weeks on end. Three months later, I was in the Arena to experience it first hand. There are no more words I can write about it.

Yes, a lot of things happened this year. The weather was crazy. Mother Nature freaked out multiple times. I saw plenty of sad stories on the local news, in the newspaper and online. But these are the things that stuck with me. They are the ones who caused a reaction within me. 2011 was on intense year. 2012 has got to be calmer, right? Prayers sent up on that one. From my mouth to God's ears.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

It's A New Day

I have never been big on new years resolutions. I don't see the point of them. But I have been thinking about some changes that I want to make in the new year. I love a lot of things about me. I know that there are some areas of my life that need major improvements. I always take stock of what and who I am. What does 2012 hold for me? For you? I do or know. But, I feel that it could be one of the best years yet. I'm looking forward to it. Before it comes, here are a few things I plan to improve.

I need to change my eating habits. I don't eat a healthy as I should. I have to drink more water and less tea. I don't exercise and that needs to change. Even its just something as small as sit-ups and lunges to begin with. I need to begin a regiment and stick to it. I want to lose weight. But its not about being a size 2 because that's not feasible for me. I want to lose weight to get into shape, tone up and just get back to where I once was. This is something I have to do for myself.

My Bible reading needs to get back on track. I let life get in the way of learning. That cannot happen any more. I am so intrigued by everything in it. I desire to know more. I would love to finish 2012 with my hair fully natural. This is something so dear to me. I will try my best to stick to this as well. It's new and hard but I'm sure it will be perfect. I was tested a lot this year. So maybe next year will be a year full of rewards for passing those tests. I have a bad habits of biting my nails when I'm nervous, anxious, upset, etc. This needs to end in 2012. It's such a nasty, unladylike habit to have. I will conquer it in 2012. I have no choice.

As I say every year, I just want to keep pushing myself to be a better woman in every arena. That is the gist of my pseudo-resolutions. I try to pursue things that improve me. Some days I win, some days I don't. That is the reality of it all. I resolve to just be me in 2012 just as in 2011. The newness of a new year gives us all hope. That makes it all worthwhile. So, here's looking forward to 2012. I hope that it's as great as it is in my head!

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Ladies Love Lyrics: Lalah Hathaway's "You Were Meant For Me"

Lalah Hathaway has been voice I love. She has released a new cd entitled "Where It All Begins." There is one track that I love. Which isn't surprising since I loved her Dad's version as well. "You Were Meant For Me" is the song. I love everything about it. The lyrics really touched me. I'm sure that you guys will feel it as much as I do. Enjoy!

"You were meant for me
No one else could come
Between this love, I know
Cause I'll never let you go

You and me it seems
Never have a problem
We can't overcome
Cause you'll always be the one

Never thought I'd be so happy
Loving you has made feel so fine
I can see my friends turn green with envy
Everytime I tell them, I'm so glad you're mine

You were meant for me
No one else could come
Between this love, I know
Cause I'll never let you go

You and me it seems
Never have a problem
We can't overcome
Cause you'll always be the one, yeah

Never did one thing to hurt me
You always understood my ways If I could,
I'll stay right here beside you
With your hand in mine, making love for days..."

Monday, December 26, 2011

Get Into It: Happy Kwanzaa!

Today marks the beginning of Kwanzaa. I used to celebrate this African American holiday with my Godparents as a kid. I loved how different and unique this celebration was. It was a whole new world to me. My Godfather was deeply involved in everything surrounding Kwanzaa. I hadn't even thought about the holiday for years until recently. Kwanzaa is a week long celebration which honors the universal heritage and culture of African Americans. It's a week long celebration that was started to give Black people an alternative to the existing holiday and a way to celebrate our history.

There are seven day of the Kwanzaa celebration. They are celebrated by a unique principle each day. They are:
° Umoja (Unity) - To strive for & to maintain unity in the family, community, national and race.
° Kujichagulia (Self Determination) - To refine ourselves, name ourselves, create for ourselves, and speak for ourselves, to stand up.
° Ujima (Collective Work & Responsibility) - To build and maintain our community together and make our brothers' and sisters' problems our problems and to solve them together.
° Ujamaa (Cooperative economics) - To build and maintain our own businesses and to profit from them together.
° Nia (Purpose) - To make our collective vocation the building and developing our our community in order to restore our people to their traditional greatness.
° Kuumba (Creativity) - To do always as much as we can, in the water can, in order to leave our community more beautiful and beneficial than we inherited it.
° Imani (Faith) - To believe with all our heart in all of our people an the righteousness and victory of our struggle.

Another Kwanzaa tradition is the kinara which holds seven candles, usually 3 green, 3 red, 1st black. A candle is lit every day to symbolize each principle. Kente cloth is also a notable Kwanzaa celebration? The gifts that are given are usually handmade. That makes them more meaningful to me. Many Kwanzaa celebration include live music with lots of drumming, the African Pledge being read, and a karamu which is a feast. The official greeting of Kwanzaa is "Habari Gani?" this is Swahili for "What's The News?"

I love everything that Kwanzaa stands for. I love anything that uplifts my people. In a world that tends to not treat African Americans in the best way. Kwanzaa does that for me. I believe that it should be celebrated along with Christmas or alone. It's a great gift to give to the younger generation. Whether you know a lot about the holiday or not, it's worth you looking into. So, go ahead and get into it. Celebrate our heritage!

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Merry Christmas!

I hope that everyone has a merry Christmas. I also hope that with all the gift giving and receiving that we don't lose the real meaning behind Christmas. Yes, the gifts are nice but they are not the reason for the season. Either way, enjoy your holiday. I cannot wait to see my family!

Christmas, as a kid, was my favorite holiday. I loved the decorations and all of the lights. I was always amazed at seeing the houses all lit up. There is something here called "Christmas in the Oaks." It's a light display in the park. I used to look forward to it every year. I loved going to church for the Christmas service. It was the only time that I knew I would see my entire family. The laughter, the food, the love all were always in abundance during Christmas Day. Of course, the gifts were wonderful as well. I was a lucky kid. My Mom made sure my brother and I had every thing. We were never disappointed on Christmas morning. I don't remember believing in Santa Claus for a very long time. I knew early on that Mommie was Santa. And I was even more appreciative of everything I received. I've lost that love for the holiday though. I don't know when or why. Yesterday, I was very Scrooge-esque. Today, I vow to be better. I'm embracing the day in the manner it was intended. Merry Christmas to all of you!!

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Outside My (Movie) Box: Part 5

I haven't done a movie review in some time now. I have seen a few really good ones in the last few months. I enjoy a good movie every now and again. I've seen a few that I could watch again and again. That's how good they were to me. Let's discuss them, shall we?

I have been a Harry Potter fan since I caught the first movie on HBO. Since then, I've seen every movie in the theater. I've also read the last five books. I was sad to see it end. "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2" was everything I wanted it to be and more. The movie stayed so close to the book. It was well written and well acted. I have seen it three times and it keeps getting better. Harry, Hermoine and Ron all ended up exactly where they should have been. The 7 movie series wraps up so nicely. It's the darkest movie of the whole series. As a fan, I was more than impressed. A must see for a fan like me.

Another series I became a reluctant fan of was "Twilight." The third installment "Breaking Dawn Part 1" was highly hyped. It took me a while to watch this one. But, I have to admit that it was worth the wait. To see the culmination of Bella and Edward's love story was awesome. I loved the wedding scene. I loved her dancing with Jacob as a way of saying goodbye. I loved the friendship that Edward and Jacob formed in order to protect Bella and Renesmee. The movie was just good. I hated the way it ended, only because I wanted more. The final part will not be released for a full year which sucks. I haven't read the books so I actually have no clue what's going to happen. But I can't wait to see it. I suggest this to any fan of this series.

"Fast Five" was amazing. Visually it was golden. The scenery in Brazil was beautiful. The car chasing scenes, the fight scenes, and the actors were all a sight to see. As a female, this film was full of sexy, cute eye candy. Paul Walker (who will always have a special place in my heart), Vin Diesel, Tyrese, Ludacris, The Rock are all so nice to look at. And, even better, they can act. Every thing about this movie is golden. The storyline was great. I hear they are already working on films 6 & 7 with the whole cast of the last film. That makes me happy. These movies made me smile, laugh, angry and when they were over, happy. All the emotions that a good film should pull out of a consumer.

I had no real interest in seeing "Thor." I knew nothing of his story because he is a Nordic God. I am fluent in Greek Mythology only. The movie was ok. Not the best thing I've seen. The highlight of this whole movie was finding out that Idris Elba was in it as the Gatekeeper. It was a surprise because I never heard anything about him being in it. The storyline was a little predictable and the acting was little off to me. Natalie Portman was decent in it. Everyone else was sort of subpar. It's definitely not a must see movie to be honest. What good movies have you guys seen? Send me suggestions.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Retail Therapy: Bra Shopping

I abhor shopping for bras. Like seriously. It is a task that literally irks me. It's an ordeal that always causes a headache. Maybe it's easy to the A, B, and C cup ladies. But, not for the highly endowed. I know I'm blessed. I love my breasts. They are quite awesome. Shopping for the twins (the DD's) is not my idea of the good time.

I cannot just walk into a store, pick up a bra and purchase it. If I did, it would be returned quickly. It has to be the right size to begin with. Then I have to search for the right color. It can't be white or taupe. They make me feel like a 65 year old woman. I prefer black over everything. I will buy any shade of blue, pink, purple, or grey bras. I have never owned a red bra. I'm not sure why though. The next thing I need in a good bra are thick straps. Without that, it's a no go. I need support. So that means underwire. All of these options make a great bra for me.

I hate returning bras. It's the worst. I like to get it right the first time. Which means I always have to try them on. That's another hassle. This also mean that shopping online for them just isn't going to happen. A good bra makes an outfit. If my bra is good, so will everything else. That's my truth. Bra shopping can be an ordeal. And it's one I need to embark on soon. I feel the headache already. *sigh* Pray for me.

Thursday, December 22, 2011


I think highly of the people in my life. I have been told that I have high expectations of them. And, I guess to a degree I do. I expect the most out of my people because I demand the most out of me. This practice has not always been beneficial to me. It's impossible to expect everyone to do what I want them to do. We are not the same people. It is such a hard habit to break though.

There are things I do that are just a part of my dna. I am the woman who never forgets birthdays. I'll always contact (via text, call, FB) a friend on their day. I am the Hallmark queen. I live for greeting cards. I think that a person should definitely be celebrated on their day. It's important. I will definitely reach out to check up on people. I just believe that all relationships needs to be nurtured. It does make me sad when those simple issues are not reciprocated. If you care for someone, you should let them know. It's just nice to be thought of. To know that someone out there cares enough to see how you are. Maybe my expectations are too high. I just don't believe that it takes much to let people know that they are on your mind or that they matter. But that's just me.

I know that I can sometimes be sort of high strung. I don't necessarily believe its me being stuck up though. I am very settled in many of my opinions. I know what I like, what I believe and what I can be convinced of. I expect a person to be the same way with me that I am with them. It's just that simple. I am a big fan of reciprocity. It's something so small but it means so much to a woman like me. Give me the same respect that I give you. Show me the same courtesy that I show you. It's a practice I think everyone should get in to.

The reality is this, if you show me that I don't matter I will forever remember. It does break my heart a little when people don't live up to my expectations. My tough girl exterior protects my soft heart. My feelings get hurt but I deal. My expectations and standards may be high. I can't see myself lowering them for anyone. It makes me me. I expect no less than what I put out. Reciprocity is wanted and welcomed here.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Classic Music: Dru Hill's "Enter The Dru"

Dru Hill's sophomore cd "Enter The Dru" is a classic in my mind. They came on the scene with a great debut cd. And, it's not often that a person or group's second offering is better than the first. This is exactly what happened with Dru Hill. From the Intro to the last song, I am still in love with this music. This was a group of men where every member could sing and hold their own vocally. The group and the label did a great job of picking singles as well. "How Deep Is your Love," "These Are The Times," and "You Are Everything" all charted well. I think that they could've squeezed at least three more singles out of this cd. Namely "Beauty" which received lots of unofficial radio play as well as "Angel" and "What Are We Gonna Do?"

Thirteen years later amd I can still listen to this cd straight through. It's just good music. It takes me back to the day I first heard this cd. I was a fan before this but something about this cd made me a true believer. The one thing I regret is never seeing the group live in concert to perform some of my favorite cuts. There is a strange thing going on in R&B today. It's not as soulful as it once was. Lyrics aren't as deep and meaningful as they used to be. Hearing this cd reminds me of when R&B was really good.I did read that the guys released a cd last year. Apparently, I missed it. I don't recall hearing any singles from them. That makes me sad. Artists with real talent are being overlooked for artists with gimmicks and little to no talent. That's why I miss 90's R&B. Classic music is timeless. So, below are some of my favorite unreleased tracks from Dru Hill's "Enter The Dru."

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Loving December!

Families can restore your spirit in ways you couldn't even imagine. The holidays can be a trying time in a persons life. It's so easy to get caught up in what you don't have during a season of gift buying and gift giving. December is a very birthday heavy month for my family. It's literally a month long celebration for us. That has always been a big deal for me. I have loved the month of December for as long as I can remember. It's my favorite month in my second favorite season. Birthdays are a big deal to me.

Today is my Grandmother's 75th birthday. This woman is hilarious. I grew up calling her Momma Louise. That name has evolved into Ma and/or Foxy. We ended up having a very impromptu party for her today. She was surrounded by 7 of her grandkids, 3 great grandkids, and various other family members. There was a lot of laughter, food, cake and daiquiri's. We had so much fun. It's very easy to get caught up in my own stuff. I think I needed some quality family time. I definitely got more than enough tonight. I am so blessed to still have both grandmothers in my life. Foxy enjoyed her day and that means the world to me.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Oh, Happy Day

"All I really want is to be happy!" - Mary J. Blige. This lady absolutely loves that lyric! I don't even know where to start. Things had gone awry for a few days. They've found a way back to normal. I love that. I prefer things to be happy and peaceful and calm. Laughing is chicken soup for my soul. Smiling makes my heart happy. I'm more me when things aren't stressful. I feel more centered and at peace. When there is drama or strife, I feel super extended and outside of myself. When there's an issue, I like to tackle it and get rid of it. If it lingers, it weighs down my spirits.

Today, I laughed and meant it. I had great conversations that eased my spirits. I said the words that were heavy in my heart and head. I pray that I said them with all the love I have in me. I sort of meditated this morning. I cleared my mind and heart. I proclaimed that I was going to get back to my happy place. And I did. I'm good. Spent the day with a smile on my face and love all around me. My prior posts weren't that happy I was told. And, to a degree, I agree. But, I blog about whatever I'm feeling. I wasn't feeling too happy the last few days. But, the moment has passed. All has been restored and renewed in my life and in my words. Today def was a good day. Hope your Sunday was as good as mine. Be happy, Loves!!

Sunday, December 18, 2011

I Need A Drink!!

This posts title is accurate. It's been one of those days. I just need one. I like a good drink every now and then. I've noticed that the older that I get, the less I drink. I am, by nature, a vodka girl. I prefer top shelf vodkas. I love Grey Goose, like Ciroc, Belve and Ketel One. I do not rock with Taaka. It's gross. Any mixed drink where vodka is involved is a good one to me. Especially martini's. The dirtier, the better. But, I also can drink it straight, with pineapple juice or on the rocks. I don't care for any brown liquors. They don't agree with me and I don't care for the taste.

Outside of vodka, I am all about the great glass of wine. I love merlots as well as pinot grigio's. I like reds just as much as whites. I'm split on blush wines though. Champagne makes me giggly. I think its a waste of money since there is only about 4 glasses per bottle. It's nice for a party. But it not something I would spent my money on. A good drink can fix anything in that moment. It takes my mind off of whatever is going on. It relaxes me. That is always a great thing. What do you guys drink? Do you have a signature one? Tell me!

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Woke Up On The Wrong Side Of The Bed

Last night was just plain awful. First, I couldn't sleep. Then, finally I could but it was bad. When peaceful sleep alludes you, what do you do? I spent last night tossing and turning. I had weird dreams that freaked me out. It just wasn't in the cards for me to sleep peacefully. This leads to me waking up on the proverbial wrong side of the bed. I'm in a bad mood clearly. I really hate it to. Especially because there is no one to blame. I just woke up this way. I'm still tired but can't sleep.

I have to find a way to shake this mood. I think I'll go get a pedicure. That always helps. This has not been the best week. I could definitely use a massage. My neck/shoulder area is tight. I know that's where tension is carried. I just really want to pull the comforter over my head, close my eyes and will myself to sleep for about 5 more hours. Maybe going back to sleep will help me wake up on the sunny side of the bed. If not, today will be bad. And, I've had enough bad for a lifetime. I'm rambling now because I'm sleep deprived, people. Anyway, going to attempt to jump into my plan of action. It's 10:32am and I really don't want my whole day to continue this way. Praying for a better night!

Do You Self Date?

Self dating is something I approve of. It takes some heart to do. And, everyone will not be into it. How comfortable are you with yourself? Do you go out to eat alone? Or to the movies alone? I think that it important to do so. Whether you are in a relationship or not. I think that I have to enjoy my own company before I can expect anyone else to.

I did just this yesterday evening. I took myself out for a belated birthday dinner. I went to Zea's and sat in a booth alone. I enjoyed a salad, Thai ribs, greens, fries and a glass of Merlot. I was there alone for about an hour. I didn't pick up my phone once. I just thoroughly enjoyed my meal and the company of myself. It wasn't uncomfortable at all. The restaurant was fairly packed. But, this isn't something new. I've done it before. I'm sure I'll do it again. It's chicken soup for my soul. I had a very subdued birthday so I felt the need to indulge myself. After all, it's still my birthday week. I also got a free drink since I mentioned it was my birthday dinner. So, it was a win all the way around.

I used to be terrified of doing anything like that alone. I don't know why though. I confronted my fears and few years back. I realized that sometimes I just need to be with myself. I find that I strike up more conversations with the wait staff or other patrons. Sometimes I day dream a lot. Either way, I always enjoy myself and my meals, movies or pedicures. Do any of you self date? Or are you afraid of it? Let me know.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Rant: I'm Opinionated.

Being opinionated is like the gift and the curse. I know how I feel about a lot of things. I am not why about expressing them either. I don't do it to sway people to believe what I believe. I just want my opinion to be heard. This is not always a great thing. Sometimes I don't figure that out until all is said and done. We are all opinionated. It's a part of human nature.

I have ideas about how I think things should go. On how life should be. It's my right to feel any way I chose. I know some may not agree or even like them. That's perfectly ok. I feel the same way about others opinions as well. I don't know why some get so upset or become so opposed to the opinion of another. That, to me, is a wasted emotion. It makes no sense to get up and arms about opinions. You believe what you believe and I believe what I believe. Its that simple. That's the great thing about opinions.

I really don't get people who ask me for my opinion and then get mad when they get it. I'm not the kind of friend that will just tell you what you want to hear. That's not any where in my personality. I will tell you what I truly feel. It's not to hurt but to help. I expect the same from my family and friends. It's not often I seek out there for help (I still feel like I'm supposed to handle it all myself). But, when I do, I want/need/desire help. Every body's opinion matters. We all have the right to speak our heart. What's your opinion about it?

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Birthday Hangover

Just a few observations from my birthday yesterday.

* 32 feels just like 31...just like 30...and so on. I don't look my age nor do I feel it.

* For the most part, Birthday text messages >>> birthday phone calls.

* The person who made me the happiest yesterday was my Love. He knows exactly how to put and keep a smile on my face.

* This is the first year, in about 20 years, I didn't get one birthday card. I think I'm slightly sad about that. Oh, no cake either but that was my doing. Just had a cupcake.

* In the yearly "fight" between my brother and cousin to see who would tell me happy birthday first, Ken won this year.

* This weather and my allergies put a serious damper on my day. And now I'm doped up lol.

* The overwhelming birthday love that I recieved via social media sites made me feel very special.

* I'm happy about some things that happened this year, not so happy about things that didn't. But I am intrigued by what will be.

* I had a moment today when I got all into my feelings and super sad about things I can't control but that kinda happens every year when I reflect.

* My niece Ky sung to me. It made me very happy.

* I love when people sing to me on my birthday. It reminds me of being a kid and my Dad.

* In conclusion, my 32nd birthday was a very calm day. Great friends and family thought enough of me to send me awesome birthday wishes. My Love made my day. And I am more than ok with being 32.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Reflections of a 32 year old

Today is December 14th 2011. 32 years ago at exactly 2:39am, I entered the world. The first child to Yolanda and Kenneth. First grandchild on my Mom's side, second on my Dad's. My family spoiled me from that moment.Today, I decided to reflect on what my life has been thus far. I am more than pleased with the woman I've become. From an early age, I've had a voice and opinion and a mind of my own. Whether I've been right or wrong, I've believed in me. As much as I've been weak, I've been strong.

I've never stopped laughing or making others around me laugh. I've written some things I am immensely proud of and others that I should've burned. I've loved some great songs and some not so great songs. I've fed my thirst for knowledge every way I could think of. I've been a sponge to the intelligent people I know. I've been the hardest on myself because I know me the best. I've learned that I can give myself a break, cry if need be, or walk away when I have to. I've found some of the best friends a girl could ask for. I've found a love that I didn't even know was obtainable. It has been the highlight of my year. Or rather, he has been the brightest spot in my 31st year. I've loved hard and fought harder. I'm sure there will be even more love to come. I can't wait for what comes next.

My 32 years have been somewhat indescribable. But, I wouldn't trade any of the happiness, sadness, joy, laughter, tears, hurt or pain. I needed all of it to make me complete. My only wish for the next 32 is that they are a little less unpredictable, a little less drama filled and engulfed in a lot more love and really living. People always ask me what I want for my birthday and I always say I don't know. The truth is I don't need anything. There hasn't been anything that's caught my eye. I'm just blessed to be here celebrating year 32! That is gift enough for this birthday girl!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

It's My Hair: Taking the Natural Route

I've been contemplating over this decision for a while. My decision has become clearer in the last few weeks. So, I've finally made the jump. I have decided to get my hair back to its natural state. I am currently about 10/11 weeks post perm. So I'm in the beginning stages of transitioning. I currently have no plans to BC (big chop). I think that thought scares me the most. I'm in the easy stage of this process. I already know that things are about to get harder. 

I think that I will be getting Senegalese twists done within the next month or two. It's a protective transitional hair style. From all that I've read, it will be extremely helpful in my transition. I definitely need to get my ends trimmed as soon as possible. This journey is so scary to me because this is all uncharted territory. I have no clue what my hair actually looks like. It's going to be an adventure. I know I will want to give up while transitioning. I just have to stay true to what I want. I will update my progress as it comes. Pray for me! I'll be a naturalista in no time!

Monday, December 12, 2011

The Uncomfortable Zone

We all know what we are comfortable with. Certain situations and people will always make up comfortable. I don't like anything uncomfortable. I always say I don't do uncomfortable. I love me and I have always been very confident in who I am. I am in touch with my feelings and emotions.

Sometimes, we have to venture into the unknown, the uncomfortable to grow. There are conversations to be had in this zone. I've had to deal with myself in these uncomfortable moments. It hasn't been easy but the outcome ha been worth it. I don't know why these areas bother me so much. I know that I don't know it all or that I will be equipped to handle it all. This is what, I believe, the uncomfortable moments are about. They are placed in our life to challenge what we think we know, feel, and think.

It is best to go boldly into those uncomfortable moments and deal. For better or worse, dealing is better than running. That is a proven fact. You can only run so long from the things that scare you. They will manifest in your life in many ways until you handle it. Being uncomfortable is not a good feeling nor is it easy. But, the outcome trumps that feeling. I've often had to travel into the uncomfortable zone. I've come out a better, more aware woman. That is worth its weight on gold.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Ladies Love Lyrics: Tyrese "Best Of Me"

Tyrese has the voice of an angel. I've been a fan since he was singing in the back of the bus on the Coca Cola commercial. There is just something about his voice that I love. He recently released a cd entitled "Open Invitation." It included this track "Best of Me" that I'm really digging. Of course, with me it's all about the lyrics. Check it out here and enjoy.

"What a joy it is to be loved by you
my most precious gift,
my guardian angel
I believe God sent you here to slow me down
and so whatever it takes,
I'mma keep you around baby.

I feel I could conquer the world
with you by my side
cause of your unconditional love baby
that's why you bring out the best in me,
cause you are the best baby.
And if I had to do it again
(I'll still choice you girl)
You bring out the best in me,
cause you are the best baby.

Baby girl your my life,
and if you ever leave me I'd die
cause I never ever had a love so pure.
It's because of you I'm sure,
and with you by my side girl
we could conquer the world..."

Saturday, December 10, 2011

I Don't Know How To Be Anything Other Than Random

* I have disappointed myself too much lately. I don't know why I'm acting so out of character. Whatever it is has to come to an end and soon. I'm really not feeling it.

* Nervous energy. I hate feeling this way. Now I have to work this off. Laundry at 12 am? Why not? *le sigh*

* I can't believe I'm about to be 32. I feel like I need to do more.

* My temper got the best of me last week. I can't believe I lost it like that. I know better. But I also know that a situation can be contained for oh so long. I'll do better moving forward.

* I've been very introspective lately. Taking a good long look at myself. There are things I need to change. I'm a work on progress. At least, I know my faults.

* I'm upset that one of my favorite people and I aren't really speaking. I refuse to fix it because I'm always doing that. This time, he had to come to me. He did & we squashed it. But I'm going to handle him differently moving forward. I gotta protect all of me first.

* Putting everyone else before me has to quit. I'm only responsible for me. I have to remember this hard lesson.

* Laughing is the best cure for any and every thing. Just thought I should share that.

* Writing has been easier lately. Getting into the habit of writing something or anything every day is making me a better writer I believe. It will be time for me to get started on my book very soon. I'm excited and petrified about taking that on. *fingers crossed*

* So someone hurled what they erroneously thought was an insult at me. I was told "that since I didn't have kids I shouldn't have an opinion about them." Forgive me for waiting for the right man to procreate with. I do, however, possess common sense and I know right from wrong. So, yes, I have an opinion and I will state it. Sorry if you're offended. Well, not really.

* I really, really enjoyed every single second of last weekend's "Watch The Throne" Jay-Z and Kanye West's concert. Great night. Seriously.

* So, this fantasy that I thought I had put to bed has resurfaced full force. I totally blame HIM for it. Yep, I said it, it's his fault. I cannot stop thinking about this particular scenario. It's very intense.

* And, also because of the above random thoughts, my dreams have been epic this week. I can't even begin to explain them. But, just know I've enjoyed them.

* (smirk) Now my head is filled with a bunch of dirty thoughts. Hey, what can I say? Lol.

* It's hard to admit that some situations bother me. I hate that I allow certain things to get under my skin.

* I am so tapped into my emotions lately. I have been crying for every thing now. I don't know why this is happening. I can't shake this new habit. I DO NOT like it at all. Ugh, it's such a girly thing.

* Respect is earned. Point blank period. There is no shortcut to that destination. If I don't respect you, I def have a great reason. It won't change.

Friday, December 09, 2011

Jealousy & Envy

I've never been a jealous hearted person. I can honestly say that I'm too caught up in my own things to be that worried. I have my own thoughts, desires, wants and needs. I've never coveted anothers anything. What's for me is for me. I don't get how a person could be happy worrying about someone elses life. Jealousy and envy are ugly traits. They make a person's soul just as ugly. Besides, green is not a shade that I look good in.

It's easy to believe that a person's life is as beautiful as it appears. But I know the truth. People have much more going on under the surface. I have my own ideas and plans for my life. What I want in a husband, what kind of mother I will be, the home I want to build for my family, the type of author I am writing myself into. All of those things are for me and me alone. I don't share all of that with many because its so dear to me. I don't owe anyone an explanation for what I want or why. It's just what I'm determined to have for my family and I. I'm in my early 30's and I'm just now in a place where I feel ready for the life I've dreamed of. I'm mature enough to know that it wasn't for me in my early 20's.

Jealous is an ugly personality trait. I don't get people who possess it. Nor do I see it as healthy. It's a sad way to live life. Well, if you can even deem it living. I don't. I only want what's for me. My story is just unfolding. I am too busy working on me and my future to envy another's possessions. That's pure craziness to me. I can't comprehend that nor will I try. Jealous and envy are traits everyone should rid themselves of. I'm sure it will make life that much better.

Thursday, December 08, 2011

Classic Music: Donell Jones "Where I Wanna Be"

From the moment I heard his voice, I was a fan. Donell Jones won me over with his rendition of the classic Stevie Wonder track "Knocks Me Off My Feet." His debut was ok but lacking chartable singles. Donell rectified that on his sophomore outing "Where I Wanna Be." It was released October 12, 1999. It was filled with ballads worthy of his amazing voice. This cd is classic to me in so many ways. I still love every track. I can put it on and let it play all the way through. He had great singles such as "Where I Wanna Be," "U Know What's Up," which featured the late Left Eye of TLC fame, "Shorty Got Her Eyes On Me," and "This Luv."

I cannot deny that the title track was a breakout hit. Everyone knew the words to this song. I remembering in clubs and dj's would play this and the club would lose it. The lyrics, in hindsight, were majorly messed up. dude basically told his girl that he wanted to mess around and that's why he had to go. But, that he still loved her. Crazy lyrics. My favorite track was an unreleased gem titled "I Wanna Luv U." This song is just, to me, the best thing Donell has ever sung. It's sweet and melodic and it just works. I always wished that it had been released as a single. I would have loved to see him perform this live. Twelve years later, it's still like the first time I heard it. It's still just really good R&B music. That makes it a classic. Here are some of my favorite tracks from WIWB. Enjoy!

Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Metrosexual: Yay or Nay?

A man's grooming habits are important. A man who cares about his appearance in sexy. One who takes the time to upkeep his look is very sexy. But how much is too much? No man should have more extensive grooming habits than a woman. Metrosexual is the term now associated with men and grooming habits. Men should groom, I'm not denying that. But, there has to be a point that can't be crossed. To me, there are things that men should not do as far as grooming goes.

I just don't want now hairless, soft, waxed man next to me. He and I should not be able to go to the same esthetician. That's not even good look at all. I like a man to look like a man. Nice haircut, beard and mustache nicely groomed, clean fingernails, great smile all make a wonderful impression. These are things I notice and pay attention to. It's important to me. And, a good smelling man, whether it's his natural scent, soap or cologne, is ahead of the pack. I think all men should engage in pedicures. It's a necessary evil in my book.

I draw the line at certain things though. I do not care for any man who waxes any part of his body. No heterosexual man should have waxed/plucked/arched eyebrows. Whenever I see a man with eyebrows that are snatched tighter than my own, he gets the biggest side-eye ever. There is something inherently wrong with that picture. That is not hot to me. I'm not big on a man shaving/waxing his legs or chest either. I mean, he's a man. Men are supposed to be hairy. I couldn't imagine laying in a bed with a man who's legs were as smooth as mine. That would creep me out quickly. I also don't think a man should take longer than a woman to get dressed or spend more time in the mirror than a woman. Women primp, men shouldn't.

This could fall under the umbrella of my very traditional views on things. But, I just think some things that are for women are not for men. I'm cool with a metrosexual man to a point. I don't want to compete with my man for bathroom time. I'm a woman and it takes me a while to put together a look. But, there is also so much more that I have to do to get ready. In closing, I just want to say that I like the man to look like a man, smell like a man, and feel like a man. He should be hard where I am soft. It's the way men and women were created to be. We shouldn't mess with that. So, what do you guys think about metrosexuals? Yay or Nay?

Tuesday, December 06, 2011

The Throne Has Been Watched!!!

The time and place had been set in stone for months now. The anticipation was growing. I simply could not wait. Finally, it was Saturday, December 3rd, 2011 @ approximately 9:19pm. The house lights go dark and I see Jay taking his spot on the stage in front of us. The show starts with the drop of the beat of "H.A.M." and the opening line of "It was all good just a week ago." The crowd went crazy as the lights shined on Jay and Ye on two different stages. Their stages started to rise as they performed the first song. Everyone was on their feet. I already knew that I would be up all night. Anyone who knows me knows how much of a fan of Jay Z's I am. I am also a Kanye fan. This was a long time coming to see the two of them on the same stage in person. The arena was rocking from the opening moment.

There was no opening act, no intermissions, just Jay and Ye for almost 3 hours. That alone made the price of admission worth it. This is my third time seeing both men in concert. Each time just gets better. I could clearly be biased but I can't help it. I love the way they performed songs from "Watch The Throne" cd as well as solo songs. I loved seeing Jay being Ye's hype man and vice versa. They were engaging as well as personable on stage. They smiled and had a great time entertaining us. The crowd was loud all night. I know for a fact that I rapped every word to every song. I only sat down during one song (Kanye's "Stronger" which I've never liked). Jay performed some of my favorite tracks by him. He did "Where I'm From," "Hard Knock Life," "Big Pimpin" (also rapping the late great Pimp C's verse), and "99 Problems" (my personal theme song for many years). Ye did all of his hits "Gold Digger," "Al of The Lights," "Runaway," and "Power." The track set for this concert was awesome. They gave you old songs for those day one fans like myself as well as newer hits. Both men gave a great show.

The best part of the show for me was the ending. They ended with "Ni**as In Paris." The arena went wild as soon as the beat dropped. The whole arena was bouncing. I knew that it was gonna end as well as it started. I love Kanye rapping "I got my ni**as in NEW ORLEANS and they going guerilla, haaaaa!" After finishing it, they performed it for a second time. I was loving it. They told us good night and walked off stage. I knew it wasn't over though. The house lights were still off. The crowd started clapping and yelling and screaming "Encore!" Jay Z started talking from backstage. He said "Oh what that mean? Sounds like y'all don't wanna go home. Good cause I don't wanna go home either." Ye and Jay came back out to talk to us to thunderous applause. They were laughing and talking to the crowd. Ye told the dj to drop it again. "Ni**as In Paris" was performed 7 times before it was all over. The crowd bounced and rapped to it every single time. It was a great feeling in the arena that night. After the final performance of NIP, Ye threw his mic.

The show was over. The Throne had been watched. It was everything I thought it would be and more. I was disappointed that they did not do my songs "Why I Love You" and "Gotta Have It." Other than that, I have nothing but great things to say about it. I left the concert with a smile on my face and a strained voice but I was happy. I got to see Jay and Ye again. I got to experience it with my favorite aunt who's never seen Jay Z perform live. She enjoyed it as much as I did. If you are a fan of either or both, I suggest you make your way to this concert. It was just that great. I could not have asked for a better night. I have been to more concerts than I can count. This is up there on my list of greats. Greatest night ever. I think this is the second time I've written about my night at a Jay Z concert. What can I say, I'm a true fan. I can sum it up in about eight words: great artists, great music, great performances, wonderful night

Monday, December 05, 2011

Healthy Discussions

I love a healthy debate/discussion. Two or more intelligent minds dissecting an issue. It riles me up. Whether I agree with you or not, I can be open enough to hear your point of view. The volleying of a topic back and forth is intoxicating to me. I just want my opinions to be heard. I also know that's all that intelligent folks want as well. It's simple common courtesy. I can engage without inciting. I love for a person who is so convicted in their beliefs to try to win me over. I know there are things I m steadfast in. But, there are things that I know I could be persuaded in if I am giving some hard cold facts. Not every one will agree with my stance on issues. That is fine. The healthy debate is a must for me. I love to learn to much for it not to be.

On the flipside of this, I hate arguing and or screaming. It takes too much out of me in the end. I have a temper that I've learned to control. It takes so much to get me to the point of an all out verbal altercation. I do not like the way I physically feel afterwards. I get so mad that I am shaking, that my blood pressure is sky high, and I want to hurt someone. It's never ever a good thing. I try to avoid situations that can lead to this. It's the best thing for me. I know myself well enough to know this. I wish others knew when enough was enough. I hate for a person to push me to this point. I kind of black out. I will say whatever I am feeling. I do have a way with words...especially the naughty ones. I have said some things, in hindsight, that have made me cringe. But, I meant it. That's my truth. I need more healthy discussions and less argumentative ones. That's all I could really ask for is discussions that spark my brain and not anything else.

Sunday, December 04, 2011

Am I Too Sarcastic? Maybe, Maybe Not.

Sarcasm is a very unique personality trait. Everyone does not possess it. Nor does everyone use it correctly. It is one of the many things I love about myself. I can be very sarcastic. It's the reason why the MTV cartoon "Daria" was such a favorite of mine. It's inherently a part of me. But, the older I get, I begin to wonder if it's too much. I think my sarcastic nature can be misconstrued by some.

There are things I say that mean no harm but are often taken that way. The fact is I'm a sarcastic person. I call it like I see it. I don't think I should have to sugarcoat things for adults. We are all grown ups so we should all be able to take it. But clearly that isn't the case with everyone. I'm the person who will give you an opinion if you ask for it. I've toned down my urge to offer it without being asked as the years have gone by. Sarcastic people are my kind of people. Simply because I get them. I don't take offense because I know it's harmless. Every one isn't like me though. This much I know to be true.

I am well aware that my tone of voice can be very blunt. That's the Sagittarius in me. I've soften some on that as well. It is not my intent, for the most part, to cut anyone down with my words. (If you're on my bad side, that's another story.) I wonder if my delivery could be better, my words sweeter or my tone lighter. I worry that I may unintentionally hurt someone I love dearly. So, in an effort to stop these thoughts, I'm thinking more before I speak. I want my words to only help. I don't want to be the one who cuts others down with my words. As a writer, I know how important words are. It's one of things I'm constantly working on daily. What can I say? I'm a work in progress! Watch me work!

Saturday, December 03, 2011

Marital Advice

I read this article a few months ago. It was recently brought to my attention again via Facebook. I didn't like it then, still don't like it now. This article comes off as very demeaning to single women. I don't think I took it personal because I am unmarried. I don't believe in every thing I read. Besides, in the last year, I've read too many articles about how Black women aren't attractive or how no one wants to marry Black women. All of those articles are pure bs to me. I will never let society decide how I see myself and other Black women. We, in general, are a lot of things. Most of them are awesomeness personified. The world can dump on Black women all they want. We have a history and culture that is so unique and distinct that no one can chop us down. We are the mother of all civilization. You cannot talk down to that.

Getting back to that article. It's written by a Black woman. That's my first issue with it. Black women spend too much time downplaying other Black women. That needs to stop asap. If we don't respect each other, no one else will. This author has been married and divorced THREE times. So yes, that makes her an expert on how to get married. But she's also an expert on how not to stay married. So why would I take her advice? Like really? And, the article isn't written from the viewpoint of "don't follow in my footsteps" or "here's what not to do if you want to get married." Tracy writes from the view of "you're a desperate bitch and that's why you are single." Constructive criticism it is not. I can't even begin to take this faulty advice from her.

I don't like preachy articles. Or ones that tell me how I should be or how I should act to get/keep/marry a man. There is a whole industry dedicated to single women who want to be married. I've never been big on those self help books. For many years, I never even wanted to be married. I wasn't looking for happily ever after. I was young, having fun and enjoying my 20's. I read "He's Just Not That Into You" at the nail shop one day. It was hilarious to me. It was filled with the most common sense things. Things I did not need to read to know. But, it made millons as a book and even more as a movie. Why? Because some women need instructions. I'm not in that category. I do not believe that my life will be defined by if I do or don't get married or if I do or don't have kids. These are things I want now as a woman in her early 30's. But, I also know that I define me.

I know I can be very opinionated. For as far back as I can remember, I was taught to speak my mind. That has never been a problem for me. I value my opinion more than any one else's. It's never failed me before. I'm hardest on myself because of what I think of me. It makes me a better person, writer, and woman. Maybe others took Tracy's article in a different way. Maybe I took it to literal. All I know is that both times I read it, my reaction was the same. Utter disgust. I wasn't impressed at all. I don't think it's helpful or nice. But that could just be me and my beliefs. What do you guys think? Let me know.

Questionnaire Time (Fin)

66. If you could meet anyone on this earth, alive or dead, who would it be? *
Malcolm X"

67. What do you think about most? *My future.*

68. What does your latest received text message from say? *"Hurry up and go home baby.*

69. Ever had a poem or song written about you? *Yep.*

70. Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? *In front of ;-) *

71. What does your URL mean? *I stay in my head a lot. Loads of random thoughts so, in between them, I blog.*

72. Do you have a collection of anything? *Cd's and keychains.*

73. Are you happy with the person you've become? *Yes but there's so much more for me to become.*

74. Choose: East Coast or West Coast? *That's hard. I'm torn. West Coast to the weather, East Coast for the scenery.*

75. Define: Art. *It is the beautiful and the ugliness that makes us feel something.*

76. Long distance relationships? *Only to this man I love :-) *

77. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? *My Kindle case is hot pink.*

78. If you could choose any era to live in what would it be and why? *The 40's seem interesting.*

79. Do you believe in heaven/hell? *Sure do.*

80. What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? *Anything by New Edition.*

81. In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? *Communication is key. Everything else will flow from there.*

82. What would you want to be written on your tombstone? *The woman who loved hard, laughed harder and wrote the things we all were thinking. Beloved Wife, Mother, Daughter, Sister, Aunt, Friend.*

83. What is your favorite word? *Euphonious.*

84. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word: heart. *Love.*

85. What is a saying you say a lot? *You know?*

86. Basic question: what's your favorite color/colors? *Cerulean and Lilac*

87. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do? *I scream, then run like hell.*

88. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? *Read minds.*

89. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? *Oooh. August 14, 2003.*

90. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? *I would def erase the entire summer of 2005.*

91. You have the opportunity to meet the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? *Easy choice, Jay-Z.*

92. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? *Fiji with HIM.*

93. Do you have any relatives in jail? *None I can think of at the moment.*

94. Have you ever thrown up in the car? *Ugh yes.*

95. Ever been on a plane? Longest plane ride ever? *Yes and about 4 hours.*

96. If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? *Read more books, watch less reality tv, live life more outside than inside and love each other better.*

97. What is/are your favorite quote/s? *Too many to name.*

98. You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
*a) Yes I would. b) I spent it with my loved ones. c) I'd be a little afraid but I would pray and give it to God.*

99. Best feeling ever? *Being told "I Love You."*

100. Favorite cartoon as an adult? *Daría hands down.*

Friday, December 02, 2011

Double Standards

We've all heard that old saying. "Every man wants a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets." I've been in a few relationships, have more than a handful of male friends and have been privy to many discussions on message boards. I have come to the conclusion that this is true to a point. This is what men want when it comes to the woman they "wife." It does not however even play a part when it comes to a girl they are just giving the business to. I pride myself on being a lady. It means the most to me. I also feel that I am more than competent in every arena and all rooms in the house if you know what I'm saying. I don't feel the need to broadcast any of that. I'm more quiet and reserved on the surface. I also believe that the word "freak" is subjective. Sex is a wonderful thing and an interesting topic. I just have never felt the need to discuss it loudly with many. There is something to be said about decorum.

In a relationship, is it true that men would like to think of their women as virgin Mary's? They could go the rest of their lives without ever acknowledging the fact that their woman has been with any other man. I totally get it. but, I think men regard it differently. I don't like thinking of my guy's past. But, I know all of it makes him who he is. The same goes for me. We all learn things along the way. It's those things that shape us. I believe that men are more sensitive about this than women. It's socially acceptable for a man to sleep with multiple partners. A woman in the same situation is deemed easy or a slut. To me, both offenses garner the same response. Both the man and the woman are easy. And, when it comes to numbers, how many is to many? That's a discussion that will never be over. It's all part of that whole double standard that is run rampant in the U.S. Men and women are different.

What constitutes a freak? I have no issue with that word. That's only because I think that if you're in a committed monogamous relationship, you should be a freak for your partner. That's your significant other. I have my boundaries of things I won't do. But, I am open to whatever he and I deem ok. That's what works the best I believe. Labels are thrown around so easily without real thought. The words I never wanted to be associated with as a 21 year old hold no weight in my 31 year old mind. I'm just me. I'm comfortable and confident in that. I can play the lady all day because I embody that. And, I can also play whatever other role cause I'm up for the job.

Thursday, December 01, 2011

Tell Me Your Fantasy

What's your fantasy? Fantasy is defined as "imagination; daydream or illusion." We all have fantasies. But, the ones I am specifically concerned about for the purpose of this blog are those of a sexual nature. These are the things that turn us on and pique our interests. Many of us have never discussed them openly. I know for the longest time, I would never tell any one. I think I am in a place where I am in control of my sexuality. That brings about a different confidence that I didn't have as a 21 year old. I have embraced all the things that turn me on. I know what I like. I know what I'm open to. I know that I have a very curious nature in many ways. I am a very visual person. I like pretty things. This plays into some fantasies that I have.

**The Top Ten Women's Sexual Fantasies**
10. Strangers in the night (meet, sex, move on)
9. Group sex
8. Dominate a man
7. Sex on display (watch me)
6. Sexually ravaged (basically being dominated)
5. Girl on girl with a man watching...but not participating
4. Being Tipped (dancing for your man & being paid)
3. Threesome MFM
2. Being a man for a night (strap-on)
1. (for lack of better words) Rape fantasies

I recently read an article on Healthy Place that shed some insight into this topic. It was a top ten list of women's sexual fantasies. After reading it, I can honestly say that I have definietly entertained the thought of 8 out of 10 of them. There is one that I have never, nor would I ever even be into. I think that fantasies are healthy and normal. I also think acting on those fantasies can be awesome. I know for me, It has to be with someone I love and trust. It's the only way I can be truly comfortable sexually. I have only truly shared my fantasies with one person. It took me a long time to find the right man to express my fantasies to and with. It's kind of crazy that I never even blinked an eye at sharing that with him.

Fantasies allow us to really get in touch with those hidden parts of ourselves. I think, especially for women, that we are programmed to not do/indulge in certain acts for the fear of being labelled a "whore" or "easy." Those stigmas are attached to anything wanton early in life. Being comfortable with my sexuality and my body allows me to just be me. I don't need to express all of this with everyone. I just share that part of me with my man. He is the only person who deserves to know me that way. And, I think that is the way it should be. Do you share your fantasies with your significant other? Are you afraid to? Let's discuss it!

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Strip Club Experiences

I had a very random and interesting conversation about strippers. It got me to thinking about my experiences. And, also the way I view strippers in general. Strip clubs are abundant in New Orleans. So, me making my way into one or five was inevitable. I was always very curious about them. Any woman over the age of 18 has seen a stripper. I've been to both male and female strip clubs. And, honestly, I'm more comfortable in a female strip club. There is something seedy and homoerotic about male strippers. I don't get them. Yes, they are sexy and buff and well endowed. But there is something off to me about male strippers. When I was younger, they were entertaining. I enjoyed them. Somewhere along the way, I began to get majorly turned off by them.

Female strip clubs are an adventure. I remember my first time going to one. I was so nervous. I was with a group of male friends. The drink specials were good and that make any outing alright with me. It was truly a sight to see. As a woman, I can definitely appreciate the beauty of the female body. All I know is those girls were working the hell out of the pole and the stage. I was in awe. My girls and I always used to have certain songs that we seems our "if I were a stripper" signature tracks. I was partial to Luda's "Money Maker" because that beat was insane and sexy as hell and Toni Braxton's "Maybe." There was just so much going on in the club. Yes, there's stripping and dancing but there was more. It's a certain feeling that I got while being there. I was clearly inebriated while there. But I always had a great time. I received my first female lap dance on my second trip there. The dancer was cute and very sexy. She was nice. It was truly an experience.

I think I sound really sexist in this post. But, I can't help it. I am 100% against male strippers and perfectly ok with female ones. The environment is totally different than any place I've ever been. I can honestly say that I've generally liked my experiences in strip clubs. I've gone with friends and we've had a ball. It gets to a point that being surrounded by naked people isn't even on your radar. Or maybe I'm just oblivious. Either way, it was what it was. Would I go again? Possibly. Do I really need to though? Not at all. I've done it already. Been there already. I've had that experience more than once. I wonder how many women go to and enjoy strippers, whether they are male or female. My friends all feel the same way about strippers as well. I want to hear about your experiences as well. Let's discuss!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Adventures In Cooking: Thanksgiving

Holiday dinners are always a big deal. I haven't been that big on participating in the cooking aspect of it. I'm always good for desserts though. A cake or two and definitely my double chocolate icebox pie are a must. So, this year, I decided to do something different. I decided to try my hand at a few dishes.

I stuffed bell peppers for the first time. I cut my peppers in half and cleaned them out. I then dropped them into a pot of boiling water for about ten minutes. While they were boiling, I worked on my actual stuffing. I browned a pack of ground beef and a pack of sage in a skillet. Once it was all brown, I drained the meat. Next, I sautéed my shrimps. I mixed all of the meat and shrimp together with some bread crumbs. After removing the bell peppers, I let them dry and commenced to stuffing them. I added some more bread crumbs on top of the peppers. Then, into the oven they went for about 20 minutes. They were done. They were great. They were gone before I could snap any pics!

I also cooked baked mac and cheese. But it wasn't my first time. I have that recipe down. They came out moist and cheesy and good. I also cooked candied yams as well. These items are staples though. My turkey day was a success. That made me very happy. I wonder what I will take on next. I'm open to new items. More cooking is coming! Hope everyones Thanksgiving was awesome.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Cyber Monday

In terms of Christmas shopping, Cyber Monday is the antithesis of Black Friday. It's the easiest route for me. I don't like crowds of unruly, rowdy people. Shopping online is easier, quicker and basically drama free. The deals are just as great. Most sites offer free shipping which is also a plus. There are ready few stores who have actually started cyber week. A lot of it is gimmick to get consumers to spend money. I don't know exactly how much if any shopping I will be doing. But, I know people who live to Christmas shop. I used to be a part of that crowd. Not so much in the last few years. That hasn't stopped me from checking out the sales. Cyber Monday does have some great offers. I'm tempted. I may give in. What are your thoughts on Cyber Monday? Christmas shopping? Let's discuss it.

Questionnaire Time (Part Tres)

46. Name something you have to do tomorrow? *Laundry.*

47. Last person you cried in front of? *My Mom.*

48. Is there someone you will never forget? *Yes.*

49. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you? *I know he is.*

50. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now? *Def not this quiz! Laying in his arms, kissing him.*

51. Are you over your past? *Thankfully yes.*

52. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? *Apology: yes. Gifts: no.*

53. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? *Lol yes.*

54. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive? *Of course.*

55. Who do you have texts from? *My Love, brother, cousin, sisters, Mom, Aunt, Best Friends.*

56. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? *His loss cause she could never be me.*
57. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? *Sure.*

58. Who’s in your profile picture with you? *Just Moi.*

59. Ever kissed under fireworks? *Yes.*

60. Were you happy with the person you liked in March? *Yep.*

61. Are you more like your mom or your dad? *I think more like my Dad.*

62. What is your favorite season? *Autumn.*

63. Do you ever want to get married? *Yes.*

64. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? *An interesting mix of both.*

65. Do you believe in aliens or life on other planets? *Life on other planets is a def.*

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Letter To My (Future) Firstborn

There's this seven day challenge in Tumblr that involves writing letters. I thought that on that had to be addressed to your future child was the most interesting. It was also the easiest on to write for me. I wrote it first. Thought I would share it here so I could have a way of keeping it to show my firstborn. Here goes...

Dear Ms. K,

I have loved you before you were even conceived. I dreamed of you for years. I was made to be your Mommie. You are everything I’ve ever wanted and more. I never knew I could love one little person so much. I could stare in your little brown face for hours. You are my definition of perfect. Your Daddy and I are so proud to be your parents.

I’m gonna want to protect you from the world. Your Daddy won’t let anyone hurt you. We will teach you everything we know. Especially passing on our shared love of music, poetry, and literature. He will teach you all he knows about math, cooking, and computer programming. I will hip you to politics, the arts and the beauty of nail polish. We will encourage your active imagination. Knowledge will be a center theme in our house and your life. We will take great pleasure in watching your face light up as you learn new things and “teach” them to us.

Laughter is a must. It will be abundant in our house. We want you to do, be whatever you want. We will give all of ourselves to you in order for you to succeed. I want to have an open door policy with you. I want you to be comfortable enough to discuss any thing with me. I will be as honest as possible with you. I will tell you all the things I did that may not have turned out the way I thought they would. We will encourage you to express your emotions. And, no matter what, you should always remember that we love you. And everything we do is because of that. I know you won’t always be happy with the decisions we will make for you. But we will always have your best interests at heart. That’s our job.

And yes, we will probably spoil you. But it will be ok because you will be ours. The best thing your Daddy and I will ever do is to be the parents of you and your five (!!) siblings. We may not have all the answers but we will have an abundance of love. Because we love you now and this is only theoretical. We can’t wait to meet you, hold you, kiss you. We’ve talked about the possibility of you often. We have since the beginning of our relationship. Mommie and Daddy are ready to begin this journey with you. I know when the time is right, you will make your appearance so until we meet…

I Love You,

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Get Into It: "Take Care"

I am a Drake fan. Have been for a while now. So I was patiently awaiting his sophomore cd "Take Care." It has been called many things by many people. I just call it good music. It's very laidback and melodic. The two singles "Headlines" and "Make Me Proud" are favorites of mine. I especially loved the buzz single or the summer "Marvin's Room" because I could relate. Even with a release date pushback and a major leak a week and have half before it dropped couldn't stop this cd from landing the #1 spot on the Billboard chart. It's that good.

My favorite tracks have to be "Look What You've Done," "Underground Kings," and "Lord Knows." "Look What You've Done" is quite perfect. I love that Drake and 40 sampled Static Major for this track. I can play the whole church straight through and that is a plus to me. Deal is a very emotions conscious rapper. I dig that about it. Except for one bar, there hasn't been one thing he spit that I don't believe. Sorry, Aubrey, but none of us believe that anyone is going to "make you catch a body." It's just not plausible to me. Other than that minor misstep, Drake excels on "Take Care." It's what I expected from him. He's stayed true to himself with no input from the YMCMB conglomerate. He's sticking to what has made him stand out. Drake has been in his own lane from day one. I'm so glad to see that hasn't changed.

I'm not a huge fan of The Weeknd. He mumbles a lot when he sings. So I could do without his features. I used to be a big Wayne fan but lately not so much. I did appreciate his features on TC. Wayne rapped on TC the way he was supposed to rap on C4 but didn't. Drake's other features on TC are really good as well. Andre 3000, Nicki Minaj and Rick Ross all appear on tracks. "Take Care," to me is a very cohesive body of work. I can rock to it. I'm wondering what will make the cut for future singles though. Take a listen and get into "Take Care."

Friday, November 25, 2011

Black Friday Madness

Every year on the Friday afternoon Thanksgiving, the madness ensues. It is the biggest shopping day of the year. It's supposed to be the day on would get the best savings. I think its a scam. I believe that the prices are hiked up before they are slashed. So in essence, the consumers are all being duped. It's insane to be in a store at 12 am or 4 am to save some money. It's even crazier to wait in line for hours for the same discount.

People fight and argue over items. People have died during the Black Friday nonsense. People have been arrested and pepper sprayed as well. And for what? For the savings they think they are receiving. I've been out in it twice. Never again. Never. I was not impressed or amazed. I was basically disgusted. I just can't understand the appeal. I'm sure I never will. I slept in this morning. That felt great. I have decided to not partake in the festivities ever.

I also wondered about the name. Why Black Friday? By definition, the word black means "void of light," "evil," "darkness." All those words conjure up negative thoughts. So, by definition, I take it that Black Friday to be negative and evil. Ok, I'm just clowning about that. But, a conspiracy theorist would take that thought process and run with it. What are you thoughts on Black Friday? Do you indulge? Let's talk about it.