Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Strip Club Experiences

I had a very random and interesting conversation about strippers. It got me to thinking about my experiences. And, also the way I view strippers in general. Strip clubs are abundant in New Orleans. So, me making my way into one or five was inevitable. I was always very curious about them. Any woman over the age of 18 has seen a stripper. I've been to both male and female strip clubs. And, honestly, I'm more comfortable in a female strip club. There is something seedy and homoerotic about male strippers. I don't get them. Yes, they are sexy and buff and well endowed. But there is something off to me about male strippers. When I was younger, they were entertaining. I enjoyed them. Somewhere along the way, I began to get majorly turned off by them.

Female strip clubs are an adventure. I remember my first time going to one. I was so nervous. I was with a group of male friends. The drink specials were good and that make any outing alright with me. It was truly a sight to see. As a woman, I can definitely appreciate the beauty of the female body. All I know is those girls were working the hell out of the pole and the stage. I was in awe. My girls and I always used to have certain songs that we seems our "if I were a stripper" signature tracks. I was partial to Luda's "Money Maker" because that beat was insane and sexy as hell and Toni Braxton's "Maybe." There was just so much going on in the club. Yes, there's stripping and dancing but there was more. It's a certain feeling that I got while being there. I was clearly inebriated while there. But I always had a great time. I received my first female lap dance on my second trip there. The dancer was cute and very sexy. She was nice. It was truly an experience.

I think I sound really sexist in this post. But, I can't help it. I am 100% against male strippers and perfectly ok with female ones. The environment is totally different than any place I've ever been. I can honestly say that I've generally liked my experiences in strip clubs. I've gone with friends and we've had a ball. It gets to a point that being surrounded by naked people isn't even on your radar. Or maybe I'm just oblivious. Either way, it was what it was. Would I go again? Possibly. Do I really need to though? Not at all. I've done it already. Been there already. I've had that experience more than once. I wonder how many women go to and enjoy strippers, whether they are male or female. My friends all feel the same way about strippers as well. I want to hear about your experiences as well. Let's discuss!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Adventures In Cooking: Thanksgiving

Holiday dinners are always a big deal. I haven't been that big on participating in the cooking aspect of it. I'm always good for desserts though. A cake or two and definitely my double chocolate icebox pie are a must. So, this year, I decided to do something different. I decided to try my hand at a few dishes.

I stuffed bell peppers for the first time. I cut my peppers in half and cleaned them out. I then dropped them into a pot of boiling water for about ten minutes. While they were boiling, I worked on my actual stuffing. I browned a pack of ground beef and a pack of sage in a skillet. Once it was all brown, I drained the meat. Next, I sautéed my shrimps. I mixed all of the meat and shrimp together with some bread crumbs. After removing the bell peppers, I let them dry and commenced to stuffing them. I added some more bread crumbs on top of the peppers. Then, into the oven they went for about 20 minutes. They were done. They were great. They were gone before I could snap any pics!

I also cooked baked mac and cheese. But it wasn't my first time. I have that recipe down. They came out moist and cheesy and good. I also cooked candied yams as well. These items are staples though. My turkey day was a success. That made me very happy. I wonder what I will take on next. I'm open to new items. More cooking is coming! Hope everyones Thanksgiving was awesome.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Cyber Monday

In terms of Christmas shopping, Cyber Monday is the antithesis of Black Friday. It's the easiest route for me. I don't like crowds of unruly, rowdy people. Shopping online is easier, quicker and basically drama free. The deals are just as great. Most sites offer free shipping which is also a plus. There are ready few stores who have actually started cyber week. A lot of it is gimmick to get consumers to spend money. I don't know exactly how much if any shopping I will be doing. But, I know people who live to Christmas shop. I used to be a part of that crowd. Not so much in the last few years. That hasn't stopped me from checking out the sales. Cyber Monday does have some great offers. I'm tempted. I may give in. What are your thoughts on Cyber Monday? Christmas shopping? Let's discuss it.

Questionnaire Time (Part Tres)

46. Name something you have to do tomorrow? *Laundry.*

47. Last person you cried in front of? *My Mom.*

48. Is there someone you will never forget? *Yes.*

49. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you? *I know he is.*

50. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now? *Def not this quiz! Laying in his arms, kissing him.*

51. Are you over your past? *Thankfully yes.*

52. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? *Apology: yes. Gifts: no.*

53. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? *Lol yes.*

54. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive? *Of course.*

55. Who do you have texts from? *My Love, brother, cousin, sisters, Mom, Aunt, Best Friends.*

56. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? *His loss cause she could never be me.*
57. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? *Sure.*

58. Who’s in your profile picture with you? *Just Moi.*

59. Ever kissed under fireworks? *Yes.*

60. Were you happy with the person you liked in March? *Yep.*

61. Are you more like your mom or your dad? *I think more like my Dad.*

62. What is your favorite season? *Autumn.*

63. Do you ever want to get married? *Yes.*

64. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? *An interesting mix of both.*

65. Do you believe in aliens or life on other planets? *Life on other planets is a def.*

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Letter To My (Future) Firstborn

There's this seven day challenge in Tumblr that involves writing letters. I thought that on that had to be addressed to your future child was the most interesting. It was also the easiest on to write for me. I wrote it first. Thought I would share it here so I could have a way of keeping it to show my firstborn. Here goes...

Dear Ms. K,

I have loved you before you were even conceived. I dreamed of you for years. I was made to be your Mommie. You are everything I’ve ever wanted and more. I never knew I could love one little person so much. I could stare in your little brown face for hours. You are my definition of perfect. Your Daddy and I are so proud to be your parents.

I’m gonna want to protect you from the world. Your Daddy won’t let anyone hurt you. We will teach you everything we know. Especially passing on our shared love of music, poetry, and literature. He will teach you all he knows about math, cooking, and computer programming. I will hip you to politics, the arts and the beauty of nail polish. We will encourage your active imagination. Knowledge will be a center theme in our house and your life. We will take great pleasure in watching your face light up as you learn new things and “teach” them to us.

Laughter is a must. It will be abundant in our house. We want you to do, be whatever you want. We will give all of ourselves to you in order for you to succeed. I want to have an open door policy with you. I want you to be comfortable enough to discuss any thing with me. I will be as honest as possible with you. I will tell you all the things I did that may not have turned out the way I thought they would. We will encourage you to express your emotions. And, no matter what, you should always remember that we love you. And everything we do is because of that. I know you won’t always be happy with the decisions we will make for you. But we will always have your best interests at heart. That’s our job.

And yes, we will probably spoil you. But it will be ok because you will be ours. The best thing your Daddy and I will ever do is to be the parents of you and your five (!!) siblings. We may not have all the answers but we will have an abundance of love. Because we love you now and this is only theoretical. We can’t wait to meet you, hold you, kiss you. We’ve talked about the possibility of you often. We have since the beginning of our relationship. Mommie and Daddy are ready to begin this journey with you. I know when the time is right, you will make your appearance so until we meet…

I Love You,

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Get Into It: "Take Care"

I am a Drake fan. Have been for a while now. So I was patiently awaiting his sophomore cd "Take Care." It has been called many things by many people. I just call it good music. It's very laidback and melodic. The two singles "Headlines" and "Make Me Proud" are favorites of mine. I especially loved the buzz single or the summer "Marvin's Room" because I could relate. Even with a release date pushback and a major leak a week and have half before it dropped couldn't stop this cd from landing the #1 spot on the Billboard chart. It's that good.

My favorite tracks have to be "Look What You've Done," "Underground Kings," and "Lord Knows." "Look What You've Done" is quite perfect. I love that Drake and 40 sampled Static Major for this track. I can play the whole church straight through and that is a plus to me. Deal is a very emotions conscious rapper. I dig that about it. Except for one bar, there hasn't been one thing he spit that I don't believe. Sorry, Aubrey, but none of us believe that anyone is going to "make you catch a body." It's just not plausible to me. Other than that minor misstep, Drake excels on "Take Care." It's what I expected from him. He's stayed true to himself with no input from the YMCMB conglomerate. He's sticking to what has made him stand out. Drake has been in his own lane from day one. I'm so glad to see that hasn't changed.

I'm not a huge fan of The Weeknd. He mumbles a lot when he sings. So I could do without his features. I used to be a big Wayne fan but lately not so much. I did appreciate his features on TC. Wayne rapped on TC the way he was supposed to rap on C4 but didn't. Drake's other features on TC are really good as well. Andre 3000, Nicki Minaj and Rick Ross all appear on tracks. "Take Care," to me is a very cohesive body of work. I can rock to it. I'm wondering what will make the cut for future singles though. Take a listen and get into "Take Care."

Friday, November 25, 2011

Black Friday Madness

Every year on the Friday afternoon Thanksgiving, the madness ensues. It is the biggest shopping day of the year. It's supposed to be the day on would get the best savings. I think its a scam. I believe that the prices are hiked up before they are slashed. So in essence, the consumers are all being duped. It's insane to be in a store at 12 am or 4 am to save some money. It's even crazier to wait in line for hours for the same discount.

People fight and argue over items. People have died during the Black Friday nonsense. People have been arrested and pepper sprayed as well. And for what? For the savings they think they are receiving. I've been out in it twice. Never again. Never. I was not impressed or amazed. I was basically disgusted. I just can't understand the appeal. I'm sure I never will. I slept in this morning. That felt great. I have decided to not partake in the festivities ever.

I also wondered about the name. Why Black Friday? By definition, the word black means "void of light," "evil," "darkness." All those words conjure up negative thoughts. So, by definition, I take it that Black Friday to be negative and evil. Ok, I'm just clowning about that. But, a conspiracy theorist would take that thought process and run with it. What are you thoughts on Black Friday? Do you indulge? Let's talk about it.

Thursday, November 24, 2011


* For life. I woke up today. That is a gift in itself. Thank God.

* For family. Good, bad, or indifferent, they hold me down. They have my back. They praise me when I'm right. They tell me when I'm dead wrong. And, they love me unconditionally.

* For friends. These are the people who choose to love me. They laugh with me. They call me on my bs. They clown me whenever they feel that need to. They listen when I just need to talk. And I love them for this.

* For my Heart. I thought that there was a part of me that wasn't lovable. I convinced myself that it wasn't a viable option anymore. And then, I was proven wrong. Dead wrong. The ability to love and be loved is a gift that I cherish.

* For my Love. Finding him was like finding another part of me. I didn't know what I was looking for until I met him. We just click. It's still amazing to me.

* For Health. I think I take it for granted. But I'm so thankful for it.

* For Growth. Lord knows I've done a lot of that. And, I still have much further to go.

* For my Gift. This blog helps me use my gift. Writing is my thing. I'm so grateful for this outlet.

Happy Thanksgiving to you!

Questionnaire Time (Part Deux)

26. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? *My Man!*

27. Do you get a lot of colds? *Sinus*

28. Where is the shirt you are wearing from? *I think Target.*

29. Does anyone hate you? *I hope not.*

30. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room? *Nope.*

31. Do you like watching scary movies? *Negative.*

32. Do you want your tongue pierced? *Nope...but I do want other body parts pierced.*

33. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? *1998 was rough.*

34. Did you have a dream last night? *Yes, a very weird one.*

35. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? *This morning.*

36. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? *Yes.*

37. Do you think someone has feelings for you? *The only person who matters...yes, my Love.*

38. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? *He better be! Ha!*

39. Did you wake up cranky? *I most definitely did not.*

40. Do you replay things that have happened in your head? *All the time...especially the really good things.*

41. Are you good at hiding your feelings? *When I want/need to.*

42. How’s your heart? *It's beautiful and secure and protected and loving and beating strongly.*

43. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? *Ugh, yes.*

44. Are your toenails painted pink? *Yes. Hot pink...well magenta to be exact.*
45. How do you look right now? *Cute.*

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

You Only Get One Time To Make A First Impression

First impressions are very important. It's the first few moments when ideas are formed, when people are sizing each other up. Those "get to know you" conversation can be grueling. You are basically presenting your case on yourself in hopes that he/she/they like and accept you. It's a very interesting dance we do when we meet people. Some first impressions are more important than others. Those usually turn into lifelong friendships and/or the happily ever after kinds.

I've never had a probably making a great first impression. I'm usually the person that people always strike up random conversation with. Even when I don't want to be, I'm a people person. I think, upon first meeting me, I would be referred to as quiet. That's on purpose. I want to know as much about the person as they want to know about me. I take the time to actually listen to what they are saying and all the things they aren't saying physically. I have no issue talking about myself. I just think its important to pay attention as well.

People generally like me. Now, I'm not saying that there aren't people who dislike me. I just don't harp on that because 9 time out of ten the feeling's mutual. I do remember someone's mom just instantly disliked me. The sad thing is she never really knew me. I also took great pleasure in proving her thoughts of me to be totally wrong. It's even funnier now, years later, to see her to out of her way to speak to me and be nice to me. It's like she thinks I will forget how horrible she was to me as a 15 year old. I haven't nor will I. It helped me develop tougher skin. I can't be mad at her or that. Have you ever had a bad first impression? Any horror stories? Share with me.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

The Struggle

There are a few things that I struggle with on a daily. That's human though. I don't want everything to be perfect because honestly perfect seems boring. I just want to be able to control and handle things. That really speaks to the oldest child syndrome that I was blessed with. Firstborns don't have a choice but to be in charge. We need to run things. I guess we all have control issues. I can cook to that. It is all a huge struggle.

There are certain things going on in my life that I have no control over. Like people I love are in situations that I can't help them with. I can't fix it to them or make it better to them. That kills me. I don't like feeling useless. That is on of the worst feelings ever. To know that there is nothing in my power that can change things for them. I struggle with the fact that it's not my responsibility to fix everything for everyone. I guess that is just on of my flaws. I'm coming to accept this about myself.

I know that all I can do is let them know that I'm here for them. Tell them that my arms are open for them, I'll always be here to listen and my shoulders were built for them to lean on. It's the best thing I can think of in a situation like this. Helpless is a horrible way to feel. I know that the struggle of bar for them as well. Sometimes we all could just use a friend. In the end, that's all that really matters.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Social Media Overshare

I enjoy social media. I like interacting with people. But, I know what's really important. I protect those parts of me and my life when I'm online. I don't share every emotion, thought, idea with people on the internet. I know enough to know better. But some people don't get that. People get on all social medias and spill their guts and then have the audacity to get mad at others for being all in their business. Seriously? I should not know every argument you have with your mate. Or that you're beefing with your boyfriend/husband's ex/baby momma etc. We are all too old for that. I see this too much. It's comical at best. The answer is simple. What you don't want the world that know...don't show! It's really easy. I step away from Twitter/Facebook/Tumblr/Blogger when I feel I am too into my feelings. I don't care for the world to know my weak moments. That's for me. I am so sick of reading this foolishness. I've been know to unfriend people and/or delete them to rid myself of it. You can't put it all out there and then bitch about everyone commenting on it. That's just dumb. Maybe people should follow me another way to vent. That being said, it's time to declutter my e-life again.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Rant: I Don't Do "Forwards"

Do you want to know what annoys me? Forwards. Either via text or email, they irk me!!! They are the new school chain letters. I was never a fan of them. Thankfully, I have unlimited text messaging. The text forwards are always extremely long. Like they are always 3 or 4 pages long. What I hate most about them is the way they demand you to send to 10/20/30 people you know RIGHT NOW or else horrible things will happen to you. Really? The worst type of forwards are the ones pertaining to religion and God. This may be cynical of me but I'm sure God isn't monitoring my text messages. I know that all I need to r achieve my God is an open heart, a bended knee, and a minute to talk to him. I refuse to believe that NOT forwarding these annoying texts will not keep me from Heaven. I dislike the fear and bullying tactics these forwards seem to send. So, I'm boycotting them. I do not forward them. I have also taken to responding to friends who sent them to me by saying "Hey, I don't participate in fwds. Please don't send them to me. Thanks." Straight and to the point. I feel they are a waste of my time and space in my text messaging history. This range was spark by the 6 page text forward I received this afternoon about nothing. It irritated me. Any who, just needed to vent and get this off my chest. In closing, if you know me, don't forward anything to me. Please and thank you!

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Questionnaire Time

1. If you could pick your own name, what would it be? *I am partial to the name Kiley and Alike'.*

2. What was your most embarrassing moment? *Oh wow. There was the time I fell out of a moving car in the 8th grade. I think that rates on the list lol.*

3. What last made you laugh? *My nephew Kam told me that since today was his 6th birthday that he was a man. I def lol @ that.*

4. What word do you use the most? *There are so many. I think clearly, exactly, and baby are high on my usage list.*

5. What is your least favorite word? *Can't*

6. Do you regret anything? *A few things.*

7. Do you have any phobias? *I hate snakes and spiders and not too fond of heights.*

8. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? *Yes and would recommend it to anyone else.*

9. Are looks important in a relationship? *Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What's cute to me may not be for you. So as long as I'm attracted, that's all that matters.*

10. Describe yourself in one word. *Complex.*

11. Do you get jealous easily? *No, not easily. But, don't push me.*

12. What is your idea of the perfect date? *Anything outside the normal "dinner and a movie" date. A spur of the moment picnic, a trip to the museum, things of that nature.*

13. What talent do you wish you'd been born with? *I wish I could sing*

14. What is your saddest memory? *Losing my brother when I was barely 3.*

15. Do you believe in soul mates? *Yes, I do.*

16. Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you? *In high school, yes. I was pregnant at least twice...while I was still a virgin. Imagine that.*

17. What are three things most people don't know about you? *(1)When I'm on a plane, I pray the entire time. (2)I believe that chocolate is the most amazing treat ever. (3)I'm a lot more scared of things than I actually show. My game face is serious though.*

18. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? *I swear I am so simple. Listening and hearing what I'm saying is sexy. Using that info at a later date is sexy. It lets me know that he heard me and cared enough to remember something as simple as what my favorite flowers are.*

19. How do you let off some steam? *I listen to music, read, write, some times drink a glass of wine.*

20. Would you befriend yourself if you were someone else? *Of course, I am a great friend!*

21. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? *He has the most amazing heart, soul and spirit. I love the way his mind works. I love the way he calls me baby. Those are some of my favorite things about him.*

22. Are you a lover or a fighter? *I'm a lover. But, I will fight for who and what I love.*

23. What is your favorite quote and why? *It changes daily but I really love "A beautiful woman is a beautiful woman, but a beautiful woman with a brain is an absolutely lethal combination." And, I love it because it motivates me to be more, do more, learn more.*

24. Have you ever had an imaginary friend? *Yes, his name was Corey and we got into a lot of trouble together.*

25. What is the meaning of life? *I believe the meaning of life is to learn all you can while you are here and share it with others. I also believe that its about loving with everything in you. To fully experience everything you can

Friday, November 18, 2011

Vets and Rookies

Respect is earned and not given. Veterans in the game know this, Rookies seem to have forgotten this. In the last few days, I have noticed some things. Last night on Twitter, I watched people to react to the news that Busta Rhymes signed to Cash Money. Also, it was stated that Mystikal signed with them as well. There is also a brewing beef between Ludacris and Drake and Big Sean. It seems that veterans in the game are making moves. But, are those moves in the right direction? There is something to be said about being experienced at your job.

To me, Busta signing to YMCMB is backwards. Busta is a legend. YMCMB is full of little kids basically. Busta's fanbase does not line up with the fanbase of the record company. I think that Busta would've done better at Def Jam or signing with Shady/Slaughterhouse. Baby has a history of not putting out artists. Bow Wow has been signed for almost 2 years and hasn't released any official music. Busta is a beast on the mic. There is no denying that. I just don't think that this company is the correct fit for a man of his talents and history.

The even more complicated signiing is that of Mystikal. People from here (New Orleans) remember the violent history that Mystikal shares with Baby and Cash Money Records. Back in the day, Mystikal was in a major beef with UNLV, the premiere Cash Money act. There were diss songs and murders. UNLV rapped about killing Mystikal's mom. Yella Boy from UNLV was killed. It was very bad. It was another instance of rap beef becoming all too real. There were mad rumors of Baby being behind a lot of the actions that took place. I just cannot understand Mystikal letting bygones be bygones with Baby. I get the money angle but we are talking about Baby, a man known for shorted his artists (see Juvenile, BG, Turk, Mannie Fresh). It is just weird.

Finally, there is the new beef of Ludacris versus Drake and Big Sean. Drake gave an interview this summer about other artist stealing the flow" that Big Sean "originated" and Drake made famous. Drake referenced a Luda line specifically. A few months later, Big Sean agreed with Drake in an interview. He also named Ludacris as an artist that stole his "flow" and was using it wrong. Ludacris dropped his mixtape "1.21 Gigawatts: Back to The First Time" on Monday. His songs "Bada Boom" and "Say It To My Face" as well as the interlude "History Lesson" took aim at those interviews. Outside of T.I., I've never known Luda to beef with others. This is very interesting. Lyrically, neither Big Sean nor Drake can see Luda. That rap battle isn't what they want.

Veterans and rookies will always butt heads. Paying homage is one of the laws of Hip hop. It can be the gift and the curse. They all need to coexist for the culture. I truly believe that. In the end, it's all about the music. That is all that matters. IF beefing happens, it should stay on wax. Veterans signing to a rookie's label will never be a good look. But, if the music is hot, the masses will love it. That's the great thing about Hip Hop. It is growing up right along with us.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

90's Wonders

Being a teen in the 90's was awesome. Don't argue with me on my opinion. It's my own and I don't need any cosigners. The music, the fashion, the original movies. Teens today are growing up in a world where remakes run rampant and originality is a foreign concept. The music of my teenage years still make me happy. I started thinking about the many groups who were basically only good for one great hit. I miss real R&B.

I was watching youtube videos the other night. I was reminiscing and started looking up old groups. Who amongst you remember U.N.V. or Coming of Age or Rome? None of these acts lasted very long. But they all had one or two singles that were hits to me. I wanted to share a few of my favorites. I wonder where these people are now and if they are still involved with music in any way. That would make a great show. One hot wonders make the music industry very interesting. Are there any 90's acts that you miss? Tell me all about them. Enjoy the videos.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Seven Years Ago Today

Today is my nephew's birthday. Kendrick is seven today. He is my first nephew. I guess that's why I feel so close to him. Meeting him and holding him changed my mind about so many different things. I remember telling him, on this day seven years ago, that Teedy Kenda would always be there door him. That I would always have his back and he could come to me for any and everything. Holding him in my arms solidified his place in my heart. It's been amazing to me to watch him grow. He's a little prankster and he has a huge heart. My oldest nephew is growing up into a nice little boy. I still cannot believe it's been seven years. Where did you the time go? Happy Birthday, Kendrick. Teedy Kenda loves you (infinity + 1)!!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Ladies Love Lyrics: Musiq Soulchild "So Beautiful"

Being told you're beautiful is a compliment every woman can appreciate, especially when it's random. But, even better than that is being told you're beautiful by the person who is in love with you. Beauty is physical as well as internal to me. There is something to be said about seeing a person's beautiful soul. Sometimes there are songs that just capture that feeling. Musiq's "So Beautiful" does just that. The lyrics describe a beautiful love story about a man knowing what he wants. It's also about a man choosing his woman's beautiful soul over and over again. That is love personified to me. This song was mentioned to me tonight and now it's been stuck in my head. So, I had to share. Enjoy!

"You're my baby
My lover, my lady
All night you make me
Want you it drives me crazy
I feel like you
Were made just for me, baby
Tell me if you feel the same way

Cause it just feels so right
I don’t wanna waste no time
If I had to choose I know
I'm gon' always choose to be with you
Cause girl don’t you know

Girl, don't you know you're so beautiful
I wanna give all my love to you, girl
Not just tonight but the rest of your life
I wanna be always here by your side
Girl, don't you know you're so beautiful
I wanna give all my love to you, girl
Not just tonight but the rest of your life
I wanna be always here by your side

When you're not here
You don’t know how much I miss you
The whole time on my mind
Is how much I'm gonna get to make
You feel so good like you know I could
Tell me if you feel the same way"

Monday, November 14, 2011

Platonically Speaking

I have heard more than once than men and women cannot be truly just be friends. Some people believe that one person in the friendship will end up catching feelings for the other. Platonic friendships can happen either organically or by default. Organically a man and woman met and there's no physical attraction. When I say by default, I mean that one wanted a relationship and the other didn't. Either way, they end up in the friend zone.

I'm on the fence about the subject. I have platonic male friends. We are just friends. I don't see them in any other way than that. I'm almost 100% sure that the feeling is mutual. These two guys are more than my friends, they are my family. We are always there for each other. They have my back and vice versa. I know I wouldn't even entertain the notion of going down that road with either of them, even if I wasn't in love. The friendship I share with them means too much to me. Our friendship is the epitome of platonic. I believe that we are a great example of a platonic friendship working out. I mean, I we are into a 22 year friendship. It must be working.

I have seen friends cross that line. It has never worked out in the end. A small attraction could kill a great friendship. I don't think it's worth it. Great friends are hard to come by. Why would one want to sacrifice it for something fleeting or purely physical? That makes no sense to me. I value my friends too much. I would hate for them to the think of me negatively or as a former friend. Boundaries are set early. Platonic friendships should always adhere to them.

Platonic friendships benefit both parties involved. Both get the opposite sex's opinión on life and love. That alone is invaluable. I believe that men and women need platonic friendships. We need the balance. I sometimes seek out the advice of my male friends for a different perspective. It's helped me so much in life. I would actually be kind of lost without it. So, what do you guys think? Can men and women just be friends? Or is platonic friendships an oxymoron to you? Let's discuss.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

It's November, Randomly

* Me and sleep need to have a meeting of the minds. Staring at the ceiling isn't entertaining at all.

* I had the most laidback, carefree, chill day yesterday. Just the two of us and bad tv and nothing else. Smiled all day.

* Somewhere along the way, I have started to relish my mornings. Early mornings make me happy it seems. Or maybe its just because of HIM.

* So, I found the perfect dress. It's kinda important. I wasn't even looking for it really. But now I know exactly what I want.

* My sisters are hilarious. Like more so than ever before. I do not know why. But they can always make me laugh.

* Sleep is overrated. The more time I spend sleeping, the less time I have to spend with my favorite person, my best friend ever. Sacrifices have been made.

* I need to try to cook something different. Something I've never attempted before. That is my goal for the week.

* I am learning to just listen without offering my advice. Sometimes people just want to be heard and vent.

* I am bad. I haven't read a book in so long. I need to correct this asap.

* My new niece Kenleigh is adorable. She is so tiny and smells like heaven. She is just so cute.

* I haven't been to church in forever. I need to change this soon as well.

* I called a family member I do not care for this week. We had a civil and cordial conversation. Yay for me and my growth.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Get Into It: Wale "Ambition"

There aren't too many rappers I support or like. I am sure the number is less than 10. But, when I like a rapper, I want to see them prosper. Such is the case with Wale. I first heard of him a few years ago while in Baltimore. He had an interesting voice, great poetic flow and his subject matter interested me. Wale had my attention. I kept hearing mixtape tracks from him for about a year. They just made more anxious to hear a full product from him. I would soon get my chance.

His first cd "Attention Deficit" was great to me. It did not do big numbers. I actually blame his label. His single choices were not great and he wasn't promoted correctly. He had single worthy songs that were passed over or released too late. His songs had a vision and Usually this would be the point in which a label would drop an artist. Wale survived that fate. He signed with a management team at ROC Nation. And followed that by signing to Rick Ross' new label Maybach Music Group. He dropped the mixtape "More About Nothing" which should have been an official release. Wale worked his way through 2011 with guest appearances and features as he recorded his sophomore cd. He self promoted tirelessly on Twitter and through his "No Days Off" vlog. This would turn out to be a great thing for him.

"Ambition" dropped on November 1st. He would land at the #2 spot on Billboard. He was edged out of the top spot by Bieber. From my first listen, I was impressed. I could hear his growth. I have my instant faves already. Such as "Illest Bitch Alive," "Don't Hold Your Applause," "White Linen (Coolin)," and "Slight Work." I just feel like Wale is going to win this time around. His cd is more cohesive this go round. I am admittedly a fan. I cannot help that. You can tell that he is a poet. Maybe that's why I like him so. "Ambition" is definitely one of my favorite Hip Hop cds that dropped this year. Take a listen to some of the standout tracks. Get Into Wale's "Ambition."

Friday, November 11, 2011

Today Is...

Today is November 11th, 2011. Numerically, it is 11/11/11. Ever since I was a kid, the time 11:11 has always symbolized something magical. I would always make a wish at this time. I do not know where this came from. I cannot remember who told me this. But,it has always stuck with me. There are many people who believe that today's date is lucky. At 11:11:11 on 11/11/11 it will be the perfect palindrome date and the only double-figure palindromic date. Also 11/11/11 won't return again for another 100 years. I like the repentance of the number 11. I don't fully believe that something great or not so great will happen. I will keep my eyes open though. And, just for the sake of continuity I am posting this at 11:11 am on 11/11/11. How's that for a magical number? What do you guys think? Is it a special date? Or just a fact of life? Tell me about.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

In The Morning

I'm a self proclaimed night owl. It's true. I am more content with the nightfall. Since college, I've gotten more done at night. But there is something to be said about early morning. Like before the sun comes up. It's a very sexy time of the day. I got to thinking about the reasons why I've grown to love the early morning. It's something new. But I think I like it.

Before the world really wakes up and when one can only barely see the sun peeking over the horizon is the best part of the day. I love the way the room is bathed in darkness with small areas of sunlight sneak in. My voice has this slight huskiness in it that I find very sexy. Only in the early morning. I try not to turn on the lights. I'm comfortable in it. In the morning is the perfect time for many things. This topic came to me just this morning. So I felt like sharing my new found love of it. These songs fall in that category as well. Enjoy your mornings!

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

All Access Pass

How much access is too much? Does your significant other know your email passwords? Lock code on your cell? I don't believe that this is too much access. If this is the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with, then why wouldn't they be privy to the that info. I believe that it's appropriate. I also feel if they aren't allowed that access that maybe there is a deeper issue at play. If you have nothing to hide, then the access should be provided. When it isn't, seeds of doubt could slip into an otherwise great relationship. I'm not about to let that happen.

I have a lock code on my cell. No, it's not because I have anything to hide. It's basically to protect me in case I lose my cell. I wouldn't have any problem telling my significant other my password or lock codes. He can have that access. My texts are mainly from him, my cousin and my brother. They are the three people I am in contact with the most. I don't hold on to old emails from people in my past. I just feel that it has no place in my present. I do have a lot of old pictures in photo albums. The pictures tell my life's journey. I've had the same phone number for almost 7 years. So it's quite possible that I might get a random call or text from an ex or former friend. Not to toot my own horn, but I'm a damn good friend and girlfriend. For the most part, I'm cool with almost all of my exes.

I don't have panic attacks when someone picks up my cell. I used to be so guarded about it. Now, not as much. I think it comes with age. Maturity plays a great part in it. I wonder if it's a trust issue. Do you not trust your significant other? If so, maybe you need to look further into your objections. So there's that. Trust is a big thing. It's hard to gain and easy to lose. I trust that he trusts me. I am friends with a lot of guys. Like genuinely friends. So there are a lot of male phone numbers in my contact list. But my s/o knows this. I've been very upfront about that. There will be no surprises to be found in my phone. Actually it probably wouldn't be that interesting.

The reality is, in a relationship, we all have pasts. One can be sentimental about some things in their past. I get that. I used to be that girl. Until a few years ago, I had emails from like 98 saved. I still had all my love notes from high school as well as cards and other things. One day, I had an epiphany. Holding on to all of that was the thing keeping me in the same spot. So I got rid of it all. Deleted emails, shredded letters, disposed of cards. Everything had to go. But that's just me. So there is no past on my computer or cell. I don't feel the need to hold on to the woman I was then. She has developed into some one brand new.

In the end, it's a personal choice. I know which side of the fence I am when it comes to this issue. Others may not agree. But I know that beliefs aren't the same as other folks. I actually don't know many women who believe in the same traditions that I do. I am more than ok with being in a class of my own. Go through my phone, I don't care. There isn't anything to find there. I'm good on that issue. What did you guys think? How much access are you giving your s/o? Let's dish!

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

Labels Are For Clothes, Right?

Labels define us.


That one word seems to hold so much power. Why though? It's just a word. I don't like the negative connotations that are associated with it. When a woman is being assertive or aggressive, she's labeled a bitch. Why? If a man in the same position was doing the same thing, he would be patted on the the back. So if I'm bossy and I take charge, does that make me a bitch? If so, I'll be that.

People can think many things about me. They can feel however they chose. They can play judge and jury over my life. But they can also kindly keep their thoughts to themselves. I am a sweetheart. I love my people. I will help anyone I can when I can. If you're in my life, and I got your back. But if you cross me, you will see that fiery side of me. I can certainly play the bitch role. I am a Sagittarius who possesses a quick wit, sharp tongue, extensive intelligence and a smart ass mouth. Basically, not someone you really want to spar with. I will win. And smile when I'm done. I am bossy and assertive and very focused. Some don't like those attributes in me. They are unimportant to me. I'm me, 100% every day. It's not an act or a facade. Kenda is just Kenda.

In general, I'm not a mouse or submissive woman. Well, I will submit to my husband as the good book says to. But that's different, that's the love of my life. I will not bend or bow down. I fight for who and what I believe in. Does any of that make me a bitch? *shrug* Oh the hell well. I have no problem with the word. My issue lies with people hurling it at me to cut me down. What you're not gonna do is call me a bitch and walk away. Oh we will have words. That's just what it is.

I have been called many things. Some good, some not so good. A few to my face, more behind my back. That always makes me laugh. If a person isn't bold enough to say it is to my face, I don't even react. Clearly, who I am bothers them. And that's a personal issue. People hate in others either what they lack in themselves or what they see in themselves. Either way, it's not my problem. Words only have the power we assign them. I say we drain the power of negative words and labels. We should all just exist. Living our lives to the fullest. What's the one word that gets under others skin that you could careless about? Let's discuss.

Monday, November 07, 2011


"Sagittarius women are eternal students, they never stop learning and love to share their experiences."

I saw this on twitter and it struck me. It epitomizes who I am. I love learning. I have since I was a kid. Possessing knowledge is powerful. I was the little girl who craved going to school. The one who even when sick had to go to school. My attendance record was damn near stellar. I was amazed by the vast sea of things I could learn. Learning was my addiction. It was the thing that made me instantly happy. It still is.

I'm not 100% into astrology. But I do know enough about my sign to know that I'm truly a Sag. My thirst for knowledge is never ending. I like researching a subject I don't know much about and filling in the blanks. I also happen to love sharing the knowledge with any one who asks. To me, learning has always been about taking me away from the neighborhood I grew up in. I had the world at my fingertips right in any and every book I picked up. I am intelligent self taught on many subjects. I pride myself on that. Knowledge is the key that unlocks the world. I plan to keep learning until I am physically incapable of not doing it.

Sunday, November 06, 2011

One of My Favorites

Animated movies make me happy. I've totally gotten nothing done on this Sunday because ABC Family decided to play Disney movies all day. Forgoing my usual routine of HGTV, Food Network and/or football, I indulging in it. I finally watched "Cars" for the first time. I see now why it's a favorite amongst my nephews. I loved it as well. And, then my absolute favorite movie came on. "Beauty and the Beast" makes me feel like a 12 year old. From the opening number to the closing credits, I'm all into it.

I think I identified with Belle because she was a bookworm. I have always been one as well. Growing up, none of my friends were into books as I was. Reading has been my thing since I was 3. Belle was depicted as an odd and peculiar girl. During those awkward teenage years, those words defined me. The songs in "Beauty and the Beast" are classics to me. I know every word to the movie and every song. I also think I loved the fact that it was an unconventional love story as well. Belle and the Beast fell in love with each other's souls. How beautiful is that? The bookworm in me spoons every time he gives her the library. Seriously, I could've lived in that room forever.

The characters in "Beauty and the Beast" are all adorable and memorable. I feel the same way every time I watch it. I've been smiling at the tv since it came on. I'm such a kid! The soundtrack for the film is quote impressive as well. I find myself humming "Be Our Guest" randomly. It's just a really fun, feel good animated movie. It is the epitome of happiness in film to me. It takes me back. Hopefully, you guys got to enjoy it today as well. If not, you sshould have a copy in your DVD collection. Enjoy the music below.

Saturday, November 05, 2011

This Is More For Me Than For You

"Forgive, and you will be forgiven." - Matt 6:14

I don't want to single out people in this post. I have been hurt by people's careless words and actions. I've held onto some of them way too long. In doing that, I unwittingly gave my offender control. I let him/her live rent free in my head. Of course, I told my offender how I was feeling. I can be ultra sensitive. But, when I'm pushed, I can get really pissed off. I don't like to let me people get me to that point. My temper can be a bit much. I've mellowed a lot with age. I'm thankful for that. Forgive them and move on. Do it for you!

Friday, November 04, 2011

Get Into It: "Awkward Black Girl" series

Awkward is a word that I can identify with. It described me perfectly growing up. I did grow out of it. There is a show that incorporates that word into its title. I have been hearing about the "Awkward Black Girl" series. It's a web series centered around a woman named J. She introduces herself in a manner that sets the tone for the entire series. "Hi my name is J and I'm awkward." I finally had a chance to check it out. I loved it. There are 10 episodes posted on the website Awkward Black Girl so far. The 11th episode will be posted on Monday November 7th. The show follows J and her work place antics. The cast of characters are hilarious in more way than one.

ABG is a look inside of the life J. She is a self proclaimed awkward black girl. This is more than obvious at her workplace. She works with the most annoyingly group of people. Some are very typical, others are extremely intriguing. Amir is extremely inappropriate. He basically plays out ever stereotype known to man. He is beyond offense but the comedy of it makes you laugh. J's commentary is beyond funny. She randomly breaks out in violent rap lyrics that she wrote. They are the most ridiculous lyrics ever. I live for those moments.

The episodes are relatively short but they are always full of fun. I love that I am always pulled back for the next episode. J is my favorite character. She is the one who makes it worth watching to me. "Did I die and go to simple bitch hell?" That J line is classic. It's sarcastic but so truthful. I think that's why I identify with her and her point of view. J may be an awkward black girl. But her story is no different than any one else's. Get Into Awkward Black Girl and check out the past episodes. A new episode will post November 7, 2011.

Thursday, November 03, 2011

Getting That Feeling Again

I do not know if its an age thing. I will be 32 this year in December. Or if it's the fact that I just recently became an Aunt for the 7th time last week. Or if its that babies just smell so incredibly good. But, thoughts of babies have clouded my thoughts a lot lately. It's amazing to me how this happened. I used to be the girl who swore I would never have kids. I've played the "Mommy" role since as far back as I could remember. I am the oldest and I am the boss. But, now I want babies. My own. I want to be pregnant I want to watch my body grow and carry a child. I want to feel him/her kick for the first time. I want to be able to feel my baby move within my tummy. I crave these things.

I used to have an intense fear of parenthood. I realized that what I feared the most was single parenthood. I watched my Mom go above and beyond to provide for me and Kendrick. She worked so hard. I did not want that for me. I did not want to raise a child without the Father in the house. I needed my Dad so much growing up. I yearned for him. That was an ache, a hole my Mom could not fill. She was and still is amazing in my eyes. But, there are some things a woman cannot teach her daughter about men or teach her son about becoming a man. Kids need both parents. So I convinced myself that I didn't want kids because I wasn't too sold on the idea of marriage.

And, now, I feel differently. I think about what my kids will look like, who they will be, when I will meet them. I feel like they are my destiny. I think I would be a great Mom because I am aware of myself. I feel my heart swell when I'm around kids. Especially when they tell me they love me. I cannot wait to hear my babies call me "Mommie." I am overcome with emotions when I think of it. Babies are a beautiful thing. I also realize that I wasn't mentally or emotionally ready for a baby in my 20's. I did not know that then. But, I am fully aware of it now.

Wednesday, November 02, 2011

Ladies Love Lyrics: Joe Budden "10 Minutes"

I am a Joe Budden fan. Dude is mad lyrical in my book. I have followed his career since "Pump It Up." There were some major tracks on his debut cd that never were released. My favorite song by Joey is "10 Minutes." It was a very raw and honest track. In later years the line "some days I don't wanna be bothered, some days I just miss my Father" meant more to me than anything. It was like he was speaking my thoughts. So, for this Ladies Love Lyrics post I went Hip Hop. He also performed this song the other night at Highland during his concert. I follow him on Twitter. He is very funny and blunt. I enjoy his tweets as much as I do his music. So here are two different videos of him performing "10 Minutes." And, also the verse that I love the most. Enjoy!

Some days I don't wanna be bothered
Some days I just miss my father (damn)
Some days I just miss my father

Some days I wanna relapse on redline
Cuz he'll be gone for 26 months fed time
I try to maintain through all this
And pray to God Pop keep the same clean date and 4 dicks
My pockets flat kid
You do the math on $5.15 an hour full time after taxes
That wasn't good enough to keep my MO
Sh-t that wasn't good enough to complete my demo, for real
Some days I don't wanna be seen
And some days I don't shower, I don't wanna be clean
Look, sometimes the truth could hurt you
So I blow my cig smoke right after the Truth commercial

Some days I don't wanna be bothered
Some days I just miss my father
And even if by a miracle he makes it half way out
It wont be parole y'all, it be the half way house but NAH
That's not the right path for a Budden
Cuz we're addicts, addicts can't do half of nothing
Some days I'm reaching for the thing in the dresser
Some days I'm not invincible and I feel the pressure
Like if everyone's depending on me, and I just stop
Then what the f--k happens?
I can't take that route and girl out
And sometimes I don't wanna hear my girls mouth cause
My hectic schedule, she ain't considerate
So all I hear is the complaints and bickering
Radio's, studio's, photo shoot's
She think I'm f--kin every girl that say I'm oh so cute, cute
Don't appreciate a man and you lose him
Worst thing to do to an innocent man is accuse him
And I ain't with beefing with home's
Bran Nubian style, I had to love ma' but leave her alone
It ain't working out, I'll see you aight
Just let go and let God see if we reunite
Cuz with yo sh-t added to the dudes that wanna see me fall
Nah, f--k it I won't fall
Let me talk to all of you dudes praying that I lose it all
I ain't come this far to fall, fall
But listen, I'm f--ked up now
Don't ask why y'all
Sometimes the best medicine is just to cry y'all
Know what I'm saying?
Excuse my voice fans, that should be a sign that I identify with what I'm saying
Cuz it's these type of thoughts that'll kill ya
If you smoking' with me right now, then you a good way from the filter
And I won't front like I ain't stressing
Sometimes I need a hug, real sh-t,
pain sh-t is pain lesson...

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Changed or Accepted

There are many things I know about life. There are even more things that I do not know about it. That is the beauty that is life. It is this never ending quest for knowledge. No matter how much one knows, one could never know all. In order to grow, one has to be willing to change. One has to put forth the effort to change. And, one also has to know that some things cannot be changed. In those cases, one has to be open enough to accept what is before them. Acceptance takes a big heart and an open mind. I am not saying that either option is easy. Both will take a lot of hard work. Life is never truly boring. But one has to have their eyes open enough to see all that there is. So, this quote is common sense to me. But, it's always a good idea to revisit it.