Saturday, April 27, 2013

Ladies Love Lyrics: Tamia's "Officially Missing You"

This is a throwback but still awesome. I have loved Tamia's voice since "You Put A Move On My Heart" off of the great "Q's Jook Joint" cd. I heard this song a few weeks ago and it's been stuck in my head ever since. I love everything about this track and the video. Great music will always stand the test of tiome. This track qualifies. Also, I've seen Tamia live and she gives a great show. That voice is still amazing. Enjoy this walk down memory lane.
"All I hear is raindrops
Falling on the rooftop
Oh baby tell me why’d you have to go
Cause this pain I feel
It won't go away
And today I’m officially missing you
I thought that from this heartache
I could escape
But I fronted long enough to know
There ain’t no way
And today
I’m officially missing you
Oh can’t nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do
Hey baby say it stays on my mind
And I, I’m officially

All I do is lay around
Two years full of tears
From looking at your face on the wall
Just a week ago you were my baby
Now I don’t even know you at all
I don’t know you at all
Well I wish that you would call me right now
So that I could get through to you somehow
But I guess it’s safe to say baby safe to say
That I’m officially missing you..."

Friday, April 26, 2013

Movie Review: "Beasts of the Southern Wild"

I can admit that I was championing the star of "Beasts of the Southern Wild" little Ms. Quvenzhane' Wallis without watching the movie. But, I felt that a 9 year little Black girl deserved to be championed. I finally sat down to watch her debut film. I was intrigued by it because it was filmed in my home state. Although the area is unfamiliar to me, I just wanted to know more. The movie was so good. Better than I thought it would be. I loved it. This film is based on the very unique relationship between the father Wink and his daughter Hushpuppy. They are very poor financially but rich in family and love. The town they live in is called "Bathtub" and it boasts a population of 87. IT seems to be a place where everyone knows everyone else. The film opens with Hushpuppy talking to the audience, telling her story. My favorite line has to be one that Hushpupy states twice in the film:
"I'm recording my story for the scientists in the future. In a million years, when kids go to school, they gonna know: once there was a Hushpuppy and she lived with her daddy in The Bathtub."
 My favorite scene in the movie.

Throughout most of the film, Wink is very hard on Hushpuppy. She has no mother and only has him. She is very smart and resilient for a six year old kid. They weather a huge storm and a quarantine. She is very scrappy. She lives in a "house" across from Wink's house. I did not understand that. She cooks for herself. She gets herself up and off to school.  She spends almost all of the film with wild hair and dirty clothes. The ending made me cry. I didn't expect that. It was a really great film though. I would recommend it to everyone. After watching it, I still believe that little miss Quvenzhane' Wallis was robbed of her Oscar. She was amazing in this film. She was only five years old when this was filmed. She is not a trained actress but she showed so much strength in her acting. She has amazing control over her facial expressions and emotions. I cannot wait to see what else she will do. "Beasts of the Southern Wild" gets an A+ from me. It is definitely a must see. 
Hush Puppy and her Daddy, Wink in the Bathtub. 

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Classic Music: Jay Z's "Reasonable Doubt"

Jay Z is my favorite rapper. Ever. If you've been here more than once, that becomes abundantly clear. I am a fan. "Reasonable Doubt" is a cd that I can clearly remember the first time I heard it. I was a freshman in college. My friend's roommate had the cd. It was unlike anything I had ever heard before. There was something about his voice that drew me in. I was sold. I've written about the cd before here. It changed my view of rappers and Hip Hop. Before then I was a R&B and Bounce girl. A clear product of my environment. Music has always played a special place in my life. This cd is definitely in my top ten of  favorite albums. 

I can still listen to it and vibe with it today...17 years later. Jay's music has become a regular part of my life. My favorites on RD haven't changed. They are still "Feelin It," "Can I Live," and "Politics As Usual." Timeless tracks in my book. Jay's delivery has changed some but his heart hasn't. He can still drop a song that I will love, still spin a story in a set of 16's. He is that good still. Even in his 40's, he's doper and more lyrical than most current rappers. That is a fact so don't debate me on it. "Reasonable Doubt"is a classic for all of those reasons and more. I love to hear him before them even more. Get into this Hip-Hop classic. 

Sunday, April 21, 2013

It's My Hair: I Won Curls Unleashed!

I have long said that the power of Twitter is an amazing thing. It can connect you to people you never would've known. It can introduce you to new products, websites, writers, artists and thoughts. I have found some amazing people/things because of it. I've purchased items from small businesses that I would not have found if not for Twitter. I've won a few contests because of it as well. That was the case a few weeks ago as well. On April 10th, I won the above Curls Unleashed products through a giveaway by Ebony magazine (@EBONYmag). The question was simple for a natural chick like me. I was the first person to tweet with the correct answer. I LOVE free things. And, free products for my natural hair journey makes it all even better. I couldn't wait to get the product and try them out.  

Curls Unleashed is a company that offers 7 products for natural hair. They are: Lavish in Lather Sulfate-Free Shampoo, No Restrictions Moisturizing Conditioner, No Boundaries Leave-In Conditioner, Let It Flow Shine & Define Mousse, Set It Off Curl Boosting Jelly, Second Chance Curl Refresher, and Take Command Curl Defining Creme. I won 6 of the 7 (plus a great cup). Also, I will be buying the leave in conditioner to try it out. Let's review them. 
  • Lavish in Lather Sulfate-free Shampoo - I haven't used shampoo in months. So, I was curious to try this. I love the way it smells and the feel of it. It has more than enough slip so I felt like all of my hair was covered. I did notice that my hair felt a little dry. My hair and scalp felt so clean afer I was done. 
  • No Restrictions Moisturizing Conditioner - This smells amazing. I kept it on under a plastic cap & the dryer for 25 minutes while I was on the phone. So, it was kind of a deep conditioner. It felt great after I washed it out. I felt like this product definetely moisturized my hair.
  • Let It Flow Shine & Define Mousse - This was one of my faves. I loved the way my hair felt after applying it. The look was great too. 
  • Set It Off Curl Boosting Jelly - The smell is not a great one. The product works though. I love the look it gave my hair. I didn't have to use a lot to achieve the look. I just am not a fan of the scent. 
  • Second Chance Curl Refresher - Very dope product. Used it on 3rd day braid out and it revived my curls. 
  • Take Command Curl Defining Creme - I do not like the smell of it. But, I loved the way it made my curls look. This was also a fave. I know I will be using this on a daily. 

All in all, I've had a great first experience with this line. My hair felt soft and  manageable for days after the inital use. I am proud to say that Curls Unleashed is a win for this naturalista. I love getting free things. This was right up my alley. I am really happy with the way this line worked with my hair. I will be blogging about it soon when I try a new hairstyle. Natural girls, if you haven't tried Curls Unleashed, please do. Get into it. 

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Let Me Tell You A Story In Just 6 Words

I started a series on my Tumblr page. It is entitled "6 Word Stories." I started writing it as a way to get my thoughts out. I just wanted to see where my head was at for the last month or so. It is very hard to tell a story in just 6 words. But, that's what I did. Every one is a glimpse into my life, my emotions. Words mean things. My 6 word stories have been very useful to me.  So, I wanted to share what  I have come up with thus far. I will also be updating the list so, stay tuned. 
  • Nighttime used to be more comfortable.
  • When did we stop being us?
  • Today I forgot I was sad.
  • I miss you all the time.
  • When will my heart stop hurting?
  • What happens when you stop caring?
  • Every night fighting the same fight.
  • This once was my favorite time.
  • I'm going to be happy today.
  • Music always makes everything much better. 
  • Laying here I realize I'm tipsy.
  • Smiling deeply from within all day.
  • Made myself stop obsessing over you.
  • Yes my ego is still bruised.
  • Nothing people do surprises me anymore. 
  • My brokenness is becoming my reality.
  • If possible, I feel too much.
  • I don't need much just you.
  • Weird day turns better via text.
  • I cannot stop dreaming of you.
  • I appreciate laughter, music and books.
  • Desires a sunny beach filled vacay.

Friday, April 19, 2013

Men and Women Are Just...Different

Last night, I read this dope article by Demetria L. Lucas (aka A Belle In Brooklyn). The title "Why Don't Men Get Brokenhearted" was enough to get me to read it. As this is a topic I've thought about often. Men and women are just different when it comes to handling the end of a relationship. I think men compartmentalize their emotions. Women do not. No matter how strong a woman is when her heart has been broken, all bets are off. I really hate that opening yourself up to love also comes with the possibility of having your heart broken. It truly sucks. It reminds me of that quote "Love is giving someone the ability to destroy you and trusting them not to." And, the reality is that heartbreak changes you. What exactly do you do when you've been destroyed? How do you pick yourself up from that? I still have no clue. This article opened my eyes to some things.  My favorite part of her article was this:

For clarity, men are not women with penises. Via nature, they're wired differently, and via nurture (i.e., socialization) they're usually taught to respond differently from women -- for instance, holding back tears that women might let flow or clamming up when women would want to talk. 
Some women make the mistake of assuming that men don't have feelings just because, in general, they don't express them the same way women do. And some women use that faulty reasoning to treat men with less care than they should, which is never OK. Expressing their feelings differently doesn't mean men don't have them.  
It sounds as if you may be in the midst of your own heartbreak and don't understand why the object of your affection doesn't feel the way you do.

I've been here in this broken place twice. Which is two times too many if you ask me. I know how I "handle" heartbreak. Handle being the operative word. I cry a lot. I write until my fingers hurt. I listen to music that only speaks to that exact emotion which in turn makes me cry even more. I drink too much. I think way too much. But, what I don't do is talk a lot. I hold my cards very close to the chest. I don't want everyone to know how sad I am or how broken I feel or even how angry I am. I keep almost all of that trapped inside me. I have male friends who've gone through breakup's but they never act like I do. Except the drinking. That seems to be a given. I know that men and women are different. Women can be too emotional but men are culturally programmed to not show emotions. It's just odd. It makes me question so many things. Granted I would not be ok with a man bawling in front of me on a daily. That's not what I want. The article just really stuck with me. For reasons. It was very interesting and I had to share. 

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Around These E-Streets (VI)

° My heart is still very heavy days later . The Boston Marathon Bombing is just so sad. How cruel and evil can people be? I do not unerstand and I never will. An 8 year old child is dead. None of us should be afraid to leave our houses. This has to stop. 

° Republicans are dumb and stupid. I say this with no remorse. Senate failed to pass a law to increase background checks for purchasing guns. President Obama was not happy at all with this. He looked pissed. I totally agree. What about the kids in Sandy Hook and the movie theater patrons in Aurora or the daily gun murders in the US? Do the Republicans jus not care about human life?

° Kid Rock (who I thought had stopped making music) is in the news for 2 things lately. He is on tour (why?) and his concert tickets are now $20. And for bashing the prices of the Jay-Z/JT concert. Ummm, sir? How much have you charged in the past? I hate when folks want to forget from whence they came. Shut up, dude.

° The Galaxy S4 launch date is near. I cannot wait because I really want this cell. I signed up for the pre-order with Sprint. April 27th is the day!

° Forget your education, find a husband. Yes, that's what this author wants women to do. It's laughable on so many reasons. If I would've married the guy I was with when I wasn 19-21, I would be a 33 year old divorcee. That is the truth. Read for a laugh.

° There is a new African-American natural hair care blog launching soon. It is MadameYou.I will be very interested to see what info is available here. I am always looking for a new site to read on care for my hair.

° The fact that President Obama had to take timeout to answer such trivial questions makes me sick. The fact that Jay & Beyonce's trip to Cuba is national news. We have got to do better. Seriously.

° I am watching this North Korea issue closely. It kinda scares me. You guys should pay attention too.

° I am NOT a Kobe fan. But, even I hate to see his season end like this. [Drake voice]"My n***a Kobe, I hate it had to be him." Hope he gets well soon. 

Monday, April 15, 2013

Movie Review: "42" & "Tyler Perry's Temptation"

This weekend was full of movies for me. I saw two films that were polar opposites. One I couldn't wait to see, the other I could care less about. But, I watched them both from beginning to end. I was interested in the story lines of both movies. I won't be giving away any secrets here. Just an overall review. Let's get into it. 

I am not a baseball fan. But, the allure of "42" was Jackie Robinson. I knew a little about him before watching the film. I knew how important he was to Black history being the first Black major league baseball player. I knew that he was an awesome player who loved to steal bases. "42" is an amazing film. I loved it. It was hopeful, happy, sad and funny. I laughed and cried. I loved that the movie showed Robinson's life on the field as well as off. The love story between Jackie and Rachel is a central theme in the film. Some scenes were hard to stomach because of the racial slurs but they were accurate for the time. Branch Rickey was the owner of the Brooklyn Dodgers and one of my favorite characters. It's simply a great movie and a must see.

I reluctantly watched "Tyler Perry's Temptation" this weekend as well. I watched the play first. I didn't really care for it. Then, I watched the movie. I didn't like it. I loved Lance Gross, Jurnee Smollet-Bell, and Brandy. The plot was not fleshed out. The ending was stupid. I hated Vanessa William's faux French accent as well as Kim Kardashian's whole existence in the movie. I really hate how irresponsible Tyler is in his storytelling. There are at least two topics in this movie that I take issues with. I wasn't that keen on watching it but it fell into my lap Saturday. That's all I have to say about it. Two totally different films. I suggest you check them out for yourselves.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Turning a Negative into a Positive

I remember the day I found out about my Aunt Gina's diagnosis. I was hurt and mad. I thought she would die. I did not know much about HIV or AIDS but the little I did know in 1996 wasn't good. But, God knew. It's been 19 years since she tested positive for HIV. Since then she has lived a life that most could only dream of. Two degrees and three jobs later, she is comfortably placed in her destiny. My Aunt has given a voice and a face to a stigma that most knew nothing about. She is an educator. She is one of the strongest women I know. She is the Phenomenal Woman that Maya Angelou spoke about. As her niece who has watched her live a life that has been amazing, I needed her to know that I am proud of her. She took her positive diagnosis and turned it into a positive life. That alone is worthy to be praised in my book. Below is her status she posted on her Facebook page a few days ago:
On this day in 1994 I was given what I thought was a death sentence. I walked into Charity Hospital's OB clinic, made my way to the nurse's office, and immediately knew something wasn't right (she wouldn't look at me) and then she said, "You have AIDS and you're going to die:-( 
It was devastating, embarrassing, and heartbreaking (I'd finally gotten my life on track) I was so afraid of dying AND of having anyone find out my HIV status (I told my mother, sisters, and my children's father..and no one else) I was also afraid because I was pregnant at this time. I met an angel named Margot on that same day, she gave me HOPE! She said if I did 3 things I could live; attend all Dr's appointments, take meds as prescribed, and learn EVERYTHING I could about HIV/AIDS. It wasn't always easy but I've always been DETERMINED to live!
I gave birth to a healthy baby girl on November 29th, 1994 (just because she wasn't perinatally infected, that does not mean she can not become behaviorally infected) and I named her Jamanii because it means faith in Jah! 
I really grew up after my HIV diagnosis, I became SELFLESS and I still am selfless. Over the years I've laughed, loved, cried, and argued with other positive women:-) Lifelong friendships have been formed and I am eternally grateful to all the women who've mentored me over the years, women like; Linda Scruggs, Loretta Jennings, Mary Boutte, Deon Heywood, Dazon Dixon Diallo, Pat Nalls, Naina Khanna and my PWN-USA sisters:-) Eventually I learned to tell my story in SAFE places (the clinic, HIV conferences, etc.) and then it was time to tell the rest of my family and friends, so I went on TV and diclosed my HIV status, people excepted my status and really showed me that they still loved me regardless of anything else! 
I find it amazing that I was born on Martin Luther King's bday and was diagnosed with HIV on the day of his death;-/ Fast forward to 2013 and here I am an educated woman with 2 degrees, a wonderful mother, an awesome (cool) GeeGee, an organizer with a wonderful agency (AU), Board member of PWN-USA and an expert on MY HIV:-) I share this because I know how easy it is to think HIV only happens to "those people", well I'm here to tell you, HIV can happen to ANYONE who has sex without a condom. HIV does not care what's in your bank account nor does it care how you look, HIV is a disease of opportunity, if you give it the opportunity it will come on in! Be safe, Be careful and love you enough to Take the Test, knowing your HIV status is very important and it will save your life! I put myself out here because I truly care and would hate to see/hear that you are sick. 
Life has been really good to me. I have had doors opened for me and try to give back to my community. Jah has blessed me with 19 years of living this Positive life and all I can say is, "Thank You, Jah!" Stay tuned y'all the BEST is yet to come! Next year, if Jah says so, I will be having a 20th year blowout!! I love you, now show how much you love yourself by getting that TEST;-) #IneverthoughtIdbehere!

Her story is an amazing one. She has literally turned her life around. She made it happen for herself. The HIV/AIDS epidemic is still real. There is so much information on HIV and AIDS today. People need to be tested and know their status. Gina has been someone I have looked up to since I was a little girl. She is my Mom's youngest sister and is only 13 years older than me. She has been like a big sister to me as well. I love just talking with her about so many things. I wrote this to just shine a little light on her because she is a star to me. If you are interested in finding out more about my aunt, you can watch her story here. This was part of a national program that aired as commercials on channels such as BET. Also, the lady in lilac is my Mommie :) (Hi Mom). My aunt radiates a light that no human can put out. That is God given. She is simply amazing. Love you, G!

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Reason, Season, Lifetime

They say that people are put into your life for a reason, season, or a lifetime. It's also said that many of us try to make reason or season people into lifetime people. We do this based solely on what we feel at the time. I can never figure out where people belong when they come into my life. Especially during. I never know. And, I truly hate when I've pegged someone totally wrong. Because then I feel betrayed. I am trying my best to be my most authentic self. Trying to not be so blunt and holding my tongue about certain things while also not being so emotional. I've had so much time to be introspective lately. I want to be better, be more than I am. I feel like I'm becoming a more mature version of myself while avoiding becoming complacent about my life.

A "reason" person is introduced for a short time to teach a lesson. There is something they know that I need to know. When the lesson is learned, they'll move on. A "season" person is introduced during a time where we need them. That season could last a short period of time or a long one. But, that person won't be around for life. A season/reason person will fade away from your life like evaporation. You'll miss them but you'll understand. A  "lifetime" person will be the one who makes the most substantial difference in your life. A "lifetime" person usually comes in the form of a soul mate. The person you meet who changes the way your world is. This is the person we're all searching for.

This has been on my mind for weeks. Differentiating between the three. Taking a good look at who's in my life. I've always kept this Peyton Sawyer quote ("People always leave.") in the back of my mind. It's been true more often than not in my life. But, the reality is we can't make people stay in our lives when they are determined to go. No matter how hard we love them or how much we beg them to stay. No one is here by accident. If we've met or interacted, it was supposed to happen. I do not get why certain situations have played out the way they have. But, I know everything happens for a reason. And maybe those reasons aren't meant to be known by me...yet. I just wish my vision was clearer on seeing the categories that people belong to in my life. Reason, season, or lifetime. All the pieces matter.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Rant: George Zimmerman, Get Your Mom

It is my opinion that Geogre Zimmerman is a MURDERER. He is NOT the victim. He does not need to be saved. He does need to pay for what he did. I have been writing about the murder of Trayvon Martin for over a year now. This story has pissed me off from the beginning. Because Martin clearly was killed because he was a young Black male wearing a hoodie. That scares me because I have 2 brothers, 4 nephews that I love dearly. I know and love too many Black men to be quiet about this. Not only is George Zimmerman a racist murderer, he is also a liar which led to his bail being revoked last summer.  His family has been popping up in the news as well lately. Last month, his brother Robert posted some ridiculous tweets on Twitter. I'm sorry but when your brother kills an unarmed teenager, your opinion on the matter is null and void. I understand standing behind family. But, wrong is wrong and murder will always be murder. I cannot believe these people. 

And, now comes his mom with her two cents. And, let me tell you that's all her words are worth. His Mom, Gladys, has penned this letter on the "anniversary" of the day he was arrested. It's been over a year since Zimmerman killed Martin. I had to comment on this idiotic letter. I posted "Mrs. Zimmerman, your son is a MURDERER! IT is not a travesty that he was arrested and awaiting trial, it is justice. You do the crime, you do the time. While you are lamenting the incarceration of your son, Ms. Fulton is still grieving for hers. I realize now that this whole family is delusional. I cannot wait until 6/10 for this trial to start. I hope and pray that your son gets exactly what he deserves, which in my eye is life in jail. An eye for an eye." I've kept myself updated on this impending trial because I want to see justice served. This entire family are beyond words. I am done. Bring on the trial and justice for Trayvon! 

Thursday, April 11, 2013

American Idol, Crown Candice Glover The Winner Right Now

I cannot remember the last time I paid actual attention to American Idol past the auditions. This year, Candice Glover has caught my eye. Candice's voice gives me eargasms. She is THAT good. Her performance this week of "Lovesong" sold me on her. She is in  the top 5. Her odds of winning are huge. The only competition for her is Kree Harrison, who's great in her own right. But, Kree is no Candice. That girl can blow. If you aren't watching the show, you should take some time to check her out. She has a Tumblr fan page in her honor. I am posting my favorite performances by her so far. I am a fan. I've been voting for her which is something I haven't done since well forever. Anyway, enjoy the music. Oh, and vote for Candice on American Idol on Fox on Wednesdays and Thursdays @ 7.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Midnight Bowling

I went midnight bowling last weekend with my cousins. I had so much fun. I haven't been bowling since 2007. I haven't really been out in a while. My life, by my own accord, hasn't been all sunny skies and rainbows. I have been in a really awkward space for months now. I can honestly say that this family outing was needed in more ways than one. My cousins were here visiting from Colorado. Saturday was their last night here. So, we decided to take the kids and hang out. It was a boys versus girls challenge. I was great. Better than I thought I would be. But, I'm guessing that bowling is like riding a bike: you never forget. We bowled a few games while laughing and talking trash to each other. We were all into the competition, especially my little cousins. It was a really great night with my family. There was a lot of pizza/wings eating, margarita drinking, bowling going on. We all had such a great night. I only bowled one gutter ball. I, of course, bowled with a purple and blue bowl. I had to, they're my favorite colors. And, the bowling ball was adorable. I was the 2nd top bowler on my team. It was a great change from sitting at home thinking on a Saturday night. I have a feeling I will be bowling again soon. It was entirely too much fun not to. Just wanted to share my night with you guys. Hope you guys had an awesome weekend as well. 

My stylish bowling shoes and the awesome carpet.

Sunday, April 07, 2013

What Would You Do?

Saturday morning I was doing what has become a routine: reading my magazines. I subscribe to far too many and usual let them pile up before I read them. The picture above comes from Oprah's O Magazine. The title alone caught my eye. "What Would You Do IF You Had No Fear" is an awesome question. What would I do? I have a list that would definitely take place. It is amazing to me how much fear rules our lives. The women who answered the magazine's question did not give outrageous answers. One woman said she would move to another country with her family and open up a cafe'. Another said she would write a children's book. None of these things are unobtainable. I think we get so caught up in the day to day that we forget to live our dreams. Fear does nothing but prohibit us from getting to our destiny.  I've written about fear before: here, here, and here. It is something I deal with on a daily. Finding a way to conquer my own fears is a journey in itself. 

If I had no fear, I would indulge in the following:

  • Drop everything and move to San Diego or Savannah. I've never been that fearless.
  • Travel to Santorini, Greece alone. It's a trip that I've been planning mentally for 2 decades. 
  • Spend the summer getting lost in the islands. No phone, no internet. Just a camera.
  • Go to my Dad's grave. 
  • Go back to school to get another degree.
Eliminating fear from my life is my new goal. I want to be fearless in all aspects of my life. I want to be able to do whatever my heart desire's without worrying. I want to be able to let go of my worrying and just exist. I want to walk confidently into my destiny with my head held high and my conscious clear. I will do this. I will become that truly fearless woman I envisioned in my mind. She is me and I am her. There is no other option. So what would you guys do if you had no fear? What is the dream that you haven't gone after because of fear? Let's discuss and then let's go get it. 

Friday, April 05, 2013

Just Because I Felt Like It: A Beyonce' Moment

I'm in a mood. My Beyonce' playlist helps. Felt like sharing! Get into Mrs. Carter por favor! 

Wednesday, April 03, 2013

April Showers Bring Random Thoughts

°It's only April and this year has already been so many awful things. I am praying that things turn around in this second quarter of 2013. I need it to. I cannot go through another day like the last few months. I crave deep change in my life. 

° Why is it so easy for some people to cut others off & simply walk away? When and if I walk away from someone, I have good reason and they know. I have never understood those who are able to turn their feelings on and off like a switch. I'm not wired that way. When I let people in, they're usually in for life. I love hard and that can be a curse. 

° A "friend" suggested that I go out more and meet people. Ugh. The problem with that is twofold: (1) I do not like going out much these days. I've done that. (2) I don't want to meet anyone. I don't like most people and I def don't have the patience for new people in my life right now. I'm more than ok with being anti-social for the duration. Either love me or leave me alone. 

° I've decided to stop blogging daily. I think I can do once or twice a week. That's all I can handle right now. I just need a break. Or something. 

° I had these dreams and this plan. Now, they all seem to be just out of reach. So, what do I do? Dream new dreams, make new plans. I am lost as to how I move forward when I can't let go of them. For the first time in years, I have no clue as to what the next step is. That scares me. 

° "Scandal" has progressively gotten better and better. It's the one show I do not miss. There are other shows that I normally watch that I have no clue as to what is going on currently. I cannot focus on much these days. 

° I would love for Spring to stop playing hide and seek with me. I need it to be sunny and breezy here. The weather affects my mood. I need Spring days and warm nights. I need days filled with crawfish and daiquiris. I wanna sit outside and enjoy the nice weather. Spring, get it together!!

° There is a video that literally made me sick this week. What is the purpose? This man beat his daughters because he caught them filming a "twerk" video for Facebook. What was the purpose of beating them and filming it? In this day and age, that is abuse. He could be looking at charges for this. I am not a fan of corporal punishment for kids. I did not enjoy getting whooped as a kid. But, I never endured anything like this. This is just wrong.

°  I am a basketball fan. I saw something that turned my stomach this weekend. Louisville player Kevin Ware suffered a horrible injury. He was rushed to surgery and has been released. I hope that he heals quickly. 

° It's April and National Poetry Month. The poet in me lives for this. There is a new poetry writing program that I've gotten into. It's a month long poetry writing challenge. We are on day/poem #3. I am excited to see what I can come up with this month.

° I finally got around to watching the 6th season premiere of "The Game." I was not looking forward to it for many reasons, mainly because of Tia (Melanie) & Pooch (Derwin) leaving the show. The newcomers Blue and Lauren London (can't remember her character's name). Blue is great eye candy  and he is a decent actor. Loved seeing Malik, Tasha, Jason and Chardonnay. Lauren is a pretty girl but an awful actress. She does nothing for me. The premiere was just ok. I was not a fan of the way they wrapped up Mel and Derwin's storyline. I doubt if I will be tuning in for more. The ratings are way down from the last two seasons. I blame BET and Debra Lee for killing one of my favorite shows. 

° I've been too self conscious all year. I hate it. Hate that I've let someone else's actions shake me. I've second guessed myself so many times in the last few months that it's insane.

° If you have not gotten into Justin Timberlake's "The 20/20 Experience," I do not know what is wrong with you. It is GREAT feel good, vibe with me music. I cannot stop listening to it. Justin was worth the almost 7 year wait. Thank you JT and Tim!!