Ask Before You Butcher

Names are a wonderful thing. They define who you are. Names can be simple and classic or unique and different. But, they are our introduction to the world. I saw the above tweet on Tumblr. It instantly pissed me off. How dare a woman with the ridiculously common name of Jenny tweet such a thing. It's not my fault that your uneducated tongue cannot pronounce my name. It's not my fault that you Jenny forgot to check your white privilege at the door. I do not care who you are but if you mispronounce my name, I will correct you instantly. If I have to correct you more than once, my tone will change. That's your fault. The responses that followed on Tumblr made me smile.

"I’m tired of people asking me to smooth my name out for them. They want me to bury it in the English so they can understand. I will not accommodate the word for mouth. I will not break my name so your lazy English can sleep its tongue on top. Fix your lips around them. No you can’t give me a stupid nickname so that you can replace this gift of five letters." - Hiwot Adilow (from the above piece)

I do not believe that having my name pronounced correctly is a chore. It is not that huge of an undertaking that I expect a thinking human being to have the dignity and respect to learn and say my name correctly. Am I wrong to believe that I deserve that common courtesy? I do not think so. My name is my name. To mispronounce it more than once is disrespectful. I take it personally. It pisses me off. If you have a simple, common name, you will never endure this. And,lucky you. I was given a moniker that is one of a kind, just like me. I demand, deserve respect. So, do me a favor and get it right. In the words of Destiny's Child, "say my name, say my name" correctly though. It's really not that hard to ask a person to pronounce their name for you. I do it all the time. People ask me all the time. My name always sparks a conversation. Hey, I'm an ice breaker all by myself :) For future reference, those of us with unique, uncommon, difficult names would prefer being asked before you butcher our names. Take this into consideration the next time the situation arises.

"Give your daughters difficult names. Give your daughters names that command the full use of tongue. My name makes you want to tell me the truth. My name doesn’t allow me to trust anyone that cannot pronounce it right." - Warsan Shire