Thursday, December 20, 2012
Bah humbug indeed!! I am NOT in a Christmas mood. I have no holiday cheer at all. It is no where to be found inside of me. I can't shake the feeling. So, I've given up on it. The only thing I'm looking forward to is Christmas Day with my family. I'm hoping that being around them will re-energize me. I try my best to not let much get to me. There are sometimes that I fail. Like right now. I haven't been resting peacefully at all. I can't. My mind is in overdrive for hours at night. My head is heavy with a thousand and one thoughts and scenarios. None of them have been pretty. My heart is another story all together. I cannot even begin to attempt to put those thoughts into words. They wouldn't make any sense to any one but me. I feel helpless, on the verge of hopeless. Clearly a holiday spirit is not living within me right now. I have been over-analyzing, over-thinking every thing. The only reason I am still blogging right now is because of a promise I made to myself. I wanted to blog daily for a year. I am almost to my goal. I can't let anything stop me from getting to it. So, I will blog my way through my feelings. I will stick to my goal, by any means necessary. Here's hoping that your holidays are filled with more cheer than mine have been so far. Happy Holidays to you guys!