Monday, December 31, 2012

Waving Goodbye To 2012

This is it. The last day of 2012. This year has been a lot of things. Some good, some bad. But, no matter what, I made it through. And, if you are reading this, so did you. That is reason enough to be thankful. 2013 is upon us. It is ours to do what we will with it. Going forward, I know that there are things I want and will get. Because I will do whatever is necessary to accomplish it. 2012 has been a mixed bag. More good than bad. So, I really cannot complain about much. The last month has been a bitch though. December 2012 has not been what I expected, needed or wanted. It has been trying to say the least. I haven't been sleeping much. In the new year, I def need less of all that. Less is indeed more.

I'm not a woman who complains a lot verbally. Mentally, is another subject. But, I don't like to burden folks with my problems, concerns or issues. I keep it to myself. I solve my own things. So, this is why the month of December has been extremely tough. I've been more stressed and worried than usual. I've had to grin & bear it around my family as to not to concern them. I've realized that one must be very specific in their prayers. I've been praying for an answer & I finally got it. It was not the one I needed. Instead, the answer made me feel worse than before. Made me even more stressed and worried than before. And this affects every aspect of my life. I cannot sleep, I have no appetite and my mind runneth over with wild scenarios. I won't even get into how I started crying in the middle of the bread aisle in Target. Stress affects people differently. I've had a crook in my neck for weeks & my shoulders hurt. It's like my body & emotions have turned against me. I have no control here & that is never a good thing. I just really need to leave all of this in 2012. I fear that starting the new year with all this going on will set the stage for the rest of my year. I'm not strong enough to carry that. I can't. And I won't. I am so over this month.

I've written way more this year than I thought I could or would. I stuck to my promise to myself. I blogged every day. Hell, there were some days that I blogged twice. It wasn't exactly easy but I accomplished it. That is a huge deal for me. I do not know what the new year will bring for me. But, I have prayed that it will be all good things. I usually do not do new years resolutions. But, I have a clear idea of what 2013 needs to hold for me. I pray for more happiness and less sadness, more opportunities to better myself in all aspects. Working on all relationships in my life is a must. I want less stress, more laughter in the new year. Maybe I want to be inspired more. I definitely need to sleep more. I am an admitted night owl. But, I really need to cut that out. Maybe set a designated bed time. I need to be more motivated. Basically, my word for 2013 is more. To be physically, mentally and emotionally better than the previous year is what I am striving for. here are a few others but they are very personal. 2012 is on its way out. I am not sad to see it go considering how awful the last month has been. Happy New Year's Eve!!

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