Monday, November 14, 2011

Platonically Speaking

I have heard more than once than men and women cannot be truly just be friends. Some people believe that one person in the friendship will end up catching feelings for the other. Platonic friendships can happen either organically or by default. Organically a man and woman met and there's no physical attraction. When I say by default, I mean that one wanted a relationship and the other didn't. Either way, they end up in the friend zone.

I'm on the fence about the subject. I have platonic male friends. We are just friends. I don't see them in any other way than that. I'm almost 100% sure that the feeling is mutual. These two guys are more than my friends, they are my family. We are always there for each other. They have my back and vice versa. I know I wouldn't even entertain the notion of going down that road with either of them, even if I wasn't in love. The friendship I share with them means too much to me. Our friendship is the epitome of platonic. I believe that we are a great example of a platonic friendship working out. I mean, I we are into a 22 year friendship. It must be working.

I have seen friends cross that line. It has never worked out in the end. A small attraction could kill a great friendship. I don't think it's worth it. Great friends are hard to come by. Why would one want to sacrifice it for something fleeting or purely physical? That makes no sense to me. I value my friends too much. I would hate for them to the think of me negatively or as a former friend. Boundaries are set early. Platonic friendships should always adhere to them.

Platonic friendships benefit both parties involved. Both get the opposite sex's opiniĆ³n on life and love. That alone is invaluable. I believe that men and women need platonic friendships. We need the balance. I sometimes seek out the advice of my male friends for a different perspective. It's helped me so much in life. I would actually be kind of lost without it. So, what do you guys think? Can men and women just be friends? Or is platonic friendships an oxymoron to you? Let's discuss.


  1. I admire you for those relations. I have never had such success. It has also gotten more complicated when I then entered a new relationship. I am fortunate because Mr. Baby and I both share this ideology (that friends of the opposite sex don't really exist when you're in a partnership) - maybe because of our own similar pasts where our friends were persons that we previously dated or had intimate relationships with versus people we considered 'family.'

  2. I can see both sides. The two guys who I call friends have been around for 20 years. There will never be nothing besides platonic love there. My guy knows this. I wouldn't let anyone outside of my relationship become an issue. My friends respect that about me and vice versa.