Wednesday, August 07, 2013

#31WriteNow: The Scenario: Befriend Who?

The above clip is from the new talk show "The Real." It is hosted by Tamera Mowry-Housely, Tamar Braxton, comedienne Loni Love, singer/actress Adrienne Bailon and Jenni Mai. They presented this scenario the other day. You meet a great guy. You begin dating. It turns into something real. The relationship is hot and heavy and fun. Both of you are happy. Until you aren't. It ends. Amicably or not. A few years pass, he moves on as do you. Somehow, you meet his new girl. The two of you click. You become friendly with your ex's current or ex. Is this a no-no or what?

In the weirdest of situations, I totally agree with Tamar. It's odd and I would not, could not do it. I do not want to sit up and kiki with a woman who has had sex with a man I've had sex with. The basis of said friendship would be that odd connection. Es no bueno!! No ma'am to this. Even if I thought she was hella cool, I couldn't fathom this. I do not want to sit up and compare notes on this man. I do not care to know what kind of relationship she had with him. I definitely do not care to know about their sex lives. Eww. That is gross. I don't want to know if he used the same moves on her. Or if he used something I taught him on her. That's a mind game that I do not want to win. 

I did have this almost happen to me before. I was in college. My ex's new girl wanted to be cool with me. He and I were on good terms. There was nothing left between us romantically. She was of the mind that we couldn't just be friends. It had to be more there. She lived in my dorm. She would always randomly run into me in the library, on the porch, in the stairwell. It was just creepy. She would seek me out for general conversation. I was cordial at first because of him. But, my spidey senses were quickly alerted after the third run in. I distinctly remember being on the elevator with her. Her asking me something about him post-coital. I literally changed colors. I lost it. "Look, boo, this ain't a conversation for you and I. Also, we aren't friends. So, stop it." I got off that elevator and couldn't dial his number quick enough. I told him to keep his "single white female" girlfriend away from me. I was freaked out for a while. It had nothing to do with him. I wasn't secretly still pining away for him. I just did not want or need that specific relationship. I do not understand anyone who would condone them. It's just not the kind of energy I want or need in my life. In the words of Aubrey Drake Graham, "no new friends, no new friends, no, no, no." 

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