Did you know that "I don't know" and "I don't care" are both acceptable responses? They are. I use then frequently. You know why? Because sometimes I don't know the answer. Shocking, I know but true. But more often than not, I don't care. If I deem it stupid or offensive or just plain dumb as hell, I don't care. When I get to that point, I can't fake it. I don't care about many things these days. That may sound selfish but it's true. There are some days when my ability to not care astounds even me. I pride myself on being a thinker. So spending time thinking about things I truly don't care for seems silly. So, I don't.
I have the the right to truly not care. I don't like small talk either. I want to learn something. Teach me something new. Tell me something old in a new way. In return, I want to educate you. Let me hip you to some new poetry or an author I love. That's what I know and care about. I don't want to talk about things that don't interest me. Furthermore, I'd rather not talk with people who don't interest me. The polar opposite of interesting is boring. And, I can't stomach boredom. It isn't for me. I've been that way since I was a kid. I've always been drawn to people I could learn something from. I was a curious kid who grew into a even curiouser woman. I like to know things, learn stuff. I'm not happy being stagnant. But, if I don't care about the subject matter, my mind wanders. That's where the problem can arise. I think too much. It's my gift and my curse. But, when I'm not interested in what's before me, my thoughts tend to go left. Way left. ¡Es no bueno!
I can't attempt to care about the mundane things some people do. It's not in me to do so. I care about myself and my family and the arts and politics. I know about literature and music and hair and family. Those are things that pique my interest. They are things I know and care about. I could care less about what offends you because it isn't my problem. I don't want to waste time on things that don't interest me. Why should I? If I've learned anything it, but that life is short and nothing is guaranteed. Life is for living not planning or pretending. So don't be surprised if you ask me a question and I reply "You know, I really don't care!" I don't have time to waste. I'm secure enough in myself to say I don't know or I don't care. It isn't about you. It's about me. And, I'm more than on with that.
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