Fear Assuaged

 

I've been tortured by one singular thought lately. I've had nightmares about it. It's been on my mind constantly. That issue has been children & the probability of me ever having any. It's no secret that I'm 33. I believed that my window of opportunity was fast lying closing. And, that frightened me. Then, there was a moment of divine intervention. The latest issue of Glamour magazine had been collecting dust on my coffee table for a week. I didn't have any real intention of reading it. But, I picked it up and flipped through it. As I was oohing and aahing over the fashions and perfumes, I came across an article that made me stop. The article was about women freezing their eggs. The article was enlightening. But, there was a graph in the corner of the 3rd page that held my interest. It broke down fertility rates in women over 30. It calmed down my fears. Fears that even my doctor couldn't stop me from having. The graph was extremely detailed. I have no idea what my future holds. I'm no longer apprehensive of it never happening. I still dream about that little brown girl and boy. I already know their names. Maybe one day my dream will come to fruition. For now, I have let this fear go. I've prayed about it. And I know whatever is for me, will always be for me.