Saturday, March 30, 2013

Role Call

  • Black woman. 
  • Daughter. 
  • Sister. 
  • Cousin. 
  • Friend. 
  • Girlfriend.
  • Lover. 
  • Neighbor.
  • Coworker. 

These are all titles which define our roles in life. We all get very comfortable in the roles we are assigned. Sometimes way too comfortable. But, what do you do when those roles don't belong to you anymore. When you're no longer someone's daughter or friend or lover. How do you reorganize your life? If you're anything like me, you have a tough time with this sort of change. When one person leaves and takes your assigned role with them, it causes your life to spin into disarray. It's hard to catch your footing again while trying to redefine who you are again. I still do not know what the appropriate way to do this is. Things change constantly in life. Learning how to change with it cannot always be an easy task.


We need people to fit into this perfect little niches that we created for them. We include them in our world because of what they make us feel. For the most part, that feeling is love. If I let you in, it's a big deal. I am counting on you staying in my life. And, if/when that person leaves for whatever reasons, it always feels really personal. I miss them for way to long. I could never ascribe that particular role to another. It will always belong to the one who left. I'm weird that way. My words matter. I wish I knew the right way to deal with these changes. But, I have failed miserably at trying to figure it out. So, I come here and blog about it for the world to see. With the notion that maybe there is someone out there who has a different course of action that I can take. Sometimes we take people for granted. Sometimes we don't tell them enough how much they matter in our worlds. And, by the time we remember to do so, they are gone. So, this is my way of telling my people that I love each and every one of them. I value their existence in my life even when I don't show it. That's a role they will always play in my life and in my heart. 

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