Monday, April 30, 2012

My Take on Interracial Love

Paul Walker. Johnny Depp. Chad Michael Murray. Robin Thicke. Matt Czuchry. All white men who I think are adorable. My Love always teases me about my "thing" for white boys. I admit I think that all men can be attractive no matter what race. I've just always loved Black men. There has always been something interesting to me about brown skin. Love is wonderful. I think that Black on Black love is the most amazing thing ever. Whenever I thought about my future, there was always a Black man next to me as my husband and father of my little brown babies. That has always been my happily ever after. That is what I want. It's my dream.

The subject of interracial dating came up during a conversation last night. My Love asked me if I would still be with him if he were a white guy. I said that we probably would never have gotten to this point if he were. Yes, he is the ying to my yang. But, that all came later. After we knew so much about each other. I think that the reality is I would have had an issue with his race. That would have been a hurdle for me to fully overcome. The reality is I fell in love with his soul, his heart, and his personality. The way he looks just happens to be a bonus. In hindsight, I am sure that I gave him a kneejerk answer. I've never really entertained the idea.

Because I've never been a big believer in interracial relationships for myself. I think life is tough enough and only a Black man could understand my plight. We share the same history. A Black man would just get me inherently. There are things as Black people that I wouldn't have to explain to him. There are race conversations that I don't want to have to expound on with someone who isn't Black. Race relations have become explosive lately. What if this white man says the wrong thing? Or if he believed that slavery was correct or even worse denies its existentence? These are things I would not be able to contain my opinion about. It's issues like this that I only feel totally comfortable discussing with other Black people. The U.S. is more of a melting pot in 2012. Everyone is mixed with something. I have white ancestors not that far down the line. I just know what I like. This is me saying that if my Love was still himself just wrapped in pale skin, I probably couldn't have helped falling for him the way I did before.

Sometimes we are so set in our ways and our beliefs that we forget that we can change our mind. Something I have never been am advocate for was challenged last night. Could I really say that I would have walked away from love because he wasn't the right race? I had almost given up on love when I met HIM. It wasn't by accident. It was kismet. You don't walk away from that I can admit when I am wrong. This is me doing that here. For HIM. It's been stated that "Love knows no color." I'm beginning to believe that it is true.


  1. "This is me saying that if my Love was still himself just wrapped in pale skin..." <-- That made me chuckle. // I will confess that I shared all of your viewpoints prior to unexpectedly falling in love with a man with pale skin (e.g. white male). We've almost been together six years and we may go the distance. I will not lie and say that we do not have very heated discussions surround race, ethnicity, and culture that you have described because we do. But what has been most important is that our values align and we do this dance (or partnership) very well. // I will also add that just because I fell in love with a white man, does not mean that if we do not work out, I will begin seeking out or purposely dating white men because I do not see that happening. I cannot find my words to further explain this, but I guess, I do not believe my attraction to black men has changed because I date and am in a relationship with a black man.

  2. I can understanding where you're coming from. I never entertained the thought. I? I from a predominantly Black city and have been a fan of brown skin. So, the "what if" question threw me. I think it would truly be an experience for me.