Showing posts with label discussions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label discussions. Show all posts

Monday, April 30, 2012

My Take on Interracial Love


Paul Walker. Johnny Depp. Chad Michael Murray. Robin Thicke. Matt Czuchry. All white men who I think are adorable. My Love always teases me about my "thing" for white boys. I admit I think that all men can be attractive no matter what race. I've just always loved Black men. There has always been something interesting to me about brown skin. Love is wonderful. I think that Black on Black love is the most amazing thing ever. Whenever I thought about my future, there was always a Black man next to me as my husband and father of my little brown babies. That has always been my happily ever after. That is what I want. It's my dream.

The subject of interracial dating came up during a conversation last night. My Love asked me if I would still be with him if he were a white guy. I said that we probably would never have gotten to this point if he were. Yes, he is the ying to my yang. But, that all came later. After we knew so much about each other. I think that the reality is I would have had an issue with his race. That would have been a hurdle for me to fully overcome. The reality is I fell in love with his soul, his heart, and his personality. The way he looks just happens to be a bonus. In hindsight, I am sure that I gave him a kneejerk answer. I've never really entertained the idea.

Because I've never been a big believer in interracial relationships for myself. I think life is tough enough and only a Black man could understand my plight. We share the same history. A Black man would just get me inherently. There are things as Black people that I wouldn't have to explain to him. There are race conversations that I don't want to have to expound on with someone who isn't Black. Race relations have become explosive lately. What if this white man says the wrong thing? Or if he believed that slavery was correct or even worse denies its existentence? These are things I would not be able to contain my opinion about. It's issues like this that I only feel totally comfortable discussing with other Black people. The U.S. is more of a melting pot in 2012. Everyone is mixed with something. I have white ancestors not that far down the line. I just know what I like. This is me saying that if my Love was still himself just wrapped in pale skin, I probably couldn't have helped falling for him the way I did before.

Sometimes we are so set in our ways and our beliefs that we forget that we can change our mind. Something I have never been am advocate for was challenged last night. Could I really say that I would have walked away from love because he wasn't the right race? I had almost given up on love when I met HIM. It wasn't by accident. It was kismet. You don't walk away from that I can admit when I am wrong. This is me doing that here. For HIM. It's been stated that "Love knows no color." I'm beginning to believe that it is true.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Condoms in a Marriage??


I was reading a discussion on Facebook where a rather odd question was posed. Condoms while married: Yay or Nay? I say it's odd because why would I want my husband to use a condom? We're married in this scenario, right? If you've spent you're sexual life being safe and protected, one of the rewards of marriage is not having to do that. I didn't plan on using condoms AFTER marriage. It's just not an option or even a thought.

The second part of the discussion was about making a unilateral decision about NOT having kids. I know that having children isn't for everyone. And, if someone has decided that they fall into this category, then I applaud them. But, to be married and make that final decision without any discussion with your mate is beyond selfish and just wrong. I know I wouldn't marry a man who didn't want kids because I do. I couldn't sacrifice that for any one. It's what I want. I also wouldn't be with someone that I have to force into anything. The decision to have children is serious and life changing. It's not a fly by night decision.

I found the question ridiculous on many levels. As well as the reasoning behind it. I just couldn't believe it when I read it. Condoms in a marriage are no bueno for me. When it comes to birth control once I'm married, I will pop a pill. I will take responsibility for that. I think that would be the easiest, most efficient thing. The discussion about children would happen way before marriage became a topic. I guess I'm just wired differently. Things work out another way in my head. This discussion was very odd to me as well as other folks. They seemed to are with me. What say you? Yay or nay to condoms in a marriage. Let's dish people!