Rant: Oh, Kanye!

Kanye West is a genius. He tells you so in every interview he has given in the last few years. The problem with such a proclamation is that if you're constantly telling everyone what you are, no one has a chance to believe it for themselves. Humble is a word Kanye does not seem to know. He is flashy and . I have no issue with one thinking they are the best. Why shouldn't one think this? I have an issue with that thinking being rammed down my throat. Especially when the product you are mostly known for, the music, hasn't been that great lately. I have a fan. Have been since he was an underground, unknown kid trying to get put on. But, I was very disappointed with "Yeezus." I did not find it innovative or groundbreaking. I just found it weird. After a few months, I really only listen to one of the ten songs, which is "Bound 2." I also don't think his fashion designs or choices have been that great either. Leather kilt anyone? Just no, Kanye. I don't see it for you in that way. 

Then, comes the idiotic one-sided Twitter war with late night tv host Jimmy Kimmel. It was just dumb. Kanye graced the show with his presence last night. This wasn't an interview. Kimmel was the backdrop for another epic Ye rant. Ye went off on a tangent about 100 different things. Most of which had nothing to do with his reasoning for being on the show or any of the 4 questions Kimmel asked. It was just weird. Ye was talking super fast and was extremely animated. And, I was over it after the first half of it. I stared at the tv with the illest "Boy what?" face especially once he said that Kim deserved a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. *Excuse my language* But, NIGGA WHAT?!? For what? She is famous for being famous. She has no real discernible talent. I do not care if he is head over heels in love with her. That is great. But, stop trying to make her happen for us. I do not care for anything dealing with her or her family. I kinda wish they would all go far, far away and leave us alone. Ye's Kimmel appearance did not help Ye. It did bolster Kimmel's ratings because I do not watch his show ever. Where there may have been moments of sheer greatness, Kanye's hyper speak and ridiculousness overshadows all of it. It made for go fodder on Twitter. Either or, I'm over Ye's rants for ever. Also, if the music isn't going to get better, I could be over that aspect of him as well. That makes me sad on so many levels because I am a fan. Kanye, just stop it already. 

Random Thoughts For October

• My "The 90's Throwback!" R&B playlist on Spotify is crack. If you're a music lover like myself and you miss the feel/sound of 90's r&b, you should def get into my playlist. Go ahead, don't be shy. I'm always adding to it. Gonna work on a 90's hip hop playlist next. 
• Family gatherings can either go really right or really wrong. Our last one went really right. Had an amazing time celebrating my Uncle and Aunt's birthday with my family. They are seriously some of the non-intentionally funny folks I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. More than anything, I enjoyed the laughter. 
• I keep wondering about one thing. It's the one question that's haunted me for months. I've racked my brains day after day, night after exhausting night. I replay moments, conversations and memories constantly in my head. I've literally made myself sick about this. And, I cannot figure it out. I wish the one with the answers would just be real with me. 
• I need to learn how to let go of the people who have voluntarily left my life and appreciate the ones who have stayed. They deserve that from me. 
• Had a impromptu dinner and movie night with my brother. It's been a minute since we just sat and hung out. It was chicken soup for the soul. He's still one of my favorite people in the whole wide world. 

• Ummm, "Scandal" is finally back!!! The premiere was e-very-thing!!! Us Gladiators could not be happier. The above gif is one of my favorite Brolivia Pope aka Harrison Wright moments. Cannot wait to see where Shonda and her team of writers and Scandal cast take us during season 3. Grab you some popcorn and red wine and plant yourself in front of the tv on Thursday nights at 9pm. Get into it. 
• I just finished reading Terrence J's new book "The Wealth of My Mother's Wisdom." It was very interesting and a great read. I will have to review it soon.
• I'm officially Teedy Kenda for the 9th time!! My new niece Sydnei is here. She is a week old today. The feeling that being an aunt gives me will never get old. I have a feeling that only one feeling could eclipse it: being a Mom. 
• I think I need to go see a physician. I truly cannot sleep. It's so bad now. I took Ambien the other night and still stayed up all night. This is not good or healthy. If I could stop myself from over thinking every single though, maybe I could sleep better. I am also depending on cappucinco's entirely too much to get me through the day. Something has to shake soon on this subject. I am over it. And, I'm tired and sleepy :-(

Ladies Love Lyrics: Raheem Devaughn "Ridiculous"

Sometimes a song just grabs you. It's exactly what happened the moment I heard Raheem DeVaughn's "Ridiculous." The melody was enticing but those lyrics were e-very-thing to me. I am a Raheem fan. His new project "A Place Called Loveland" is as amazing as his past ones. This is one of my faves on it. Life has been more than ridiculous this year so the song fits. Go ahead and get into the goodness of this track. Enjoy. 

"I never say that every choice I make

Everyone was going like
I never say that satisfies the masses it's how I will live my life
I never once said I say all of my decisions would be right
I never say I would ignore my heart and listen just my mind
I know it looks like I've crazy but in the way of love
what does, I'’ll be crazy for us

So call me a fool, call me insane
Tell me the loving you the way I do is ridiculous
I don’t mind, no I don’t mind
Forget the rules I’m over the game
Baby if loving the way you the way you do is ridiculous
Then call me ridiculous, call me ridiculous

Every one know what I’m suppose to do,
Everybody says I’m out my mind to feel what I feel for you
Every body needs to mind their own to this love I'm not brand new
See I know when its real love, though they think I don’t have a clue
I do
And I know it looks like I've gone crazy (I know its looks like I'm crazy)
But in the way of love, then what does…, I’ll be crazy for us..."

It's My Hair: 2 Years Strong!!

Started from the bottom, now I'm here. A year ago, I was excited to reach this milestone. A year later, I couldn't be happier with my hair's progression. It's been two interesting years on this natural hair journey. I started with just a thought, an inkling of an idea. I did not know what my hair would appear or the texture of it. In the beginning, I was just interested in stretching my relaxers. I was so used to that 6 - 8 week trek to the hair shop for the creamy crack. My hair wasn't unhealthy or breaking off prior to the change. I just wanted something different. I have always had a head full of thick hair. It's the gift and the curse. But, it's all mine and I love it. My natural hair journey has been relatively stress free. Except for earlier this year, I experienced some hair loss due to stress. 

So, for my two year natural hair anniversary, I wanted to try a new look. I was going for Naptural85's Seductive Tousled look. You can watch her tutorial video on her YouTube channel. I started with flat ironed hair from a prior blowout. I separated my hair into six sections. I sprayed each section with my water/glycerin mix lightly. I rubbed my shea butter/oils mix into my hair. I then twisted each section from the roots to the tips. Finally I wrapped the twists into bantu knots. I secured each knot a bobby pin. Very simple and easy to do. I lightly misted the water over my hair again. And, finally I sprayed my hair with some oil sheen and tied it down with my silk scarf. The next morning, I put a little grapeseed oil on my fingers and untwisted my hair. I shook my head and fluffed my hair with my fingers. I was ready for my day. I really liked my hair. The style lasted a few days. I retwisted and re-Bantu knotted my hair nightly. Great style for any natural hair woman. Two years went by with the blink of an eye. I am so excited to see what happens next for me and my hair.

I'm Back!!!

Guess who's back?? It's me :-) In the words of Varnell Hill, "DID YOU MISS ME??" I've missed you guys. I've missed this space. I would just chcek my blog all the time. I didn't think I would miss it so much. It is a prt of me. This break was truly needed. I could not be more prouder of the work I've done here. 

I've missed blogging. I needed the time off in September. But, I am ready to get right back into it. I won't promise to post everyday but a few times a week will definetly happen. My mind is very clear about some things, not so much about others. But, I am ready to get back to work. So, hope you guys will be back to read my words  soon. 

Also, it's October and it is Breast Cancer Awareness month. It is a cause that has always been dear to me. My family has been affected by it. So, I always like to bring awareness to the cause. I will wear pink unitl there is a cure. Donate to a BCA fund, participate in a BCA walk, just do something. We need a cure. 

On a much sadder note, there has been another case of being murdered for simply being Black. Jonathan Ferrell was a former FAMU football player. He was in a horrific car accident that he survived. He knocked on doors to get help. One woman thought he was trying to break into her house so she called the cops. The cop who showed up fired 12 shots at Ferrell. Ten of those shots hit Ferrell. Jonathan Ferrell died on September 16th at the age of 24. Why? Why is this young man dead? No one can explain it to me. No one can make me believe that the cop was anything other than overzealous, trigger happy and a racist. He saw a Black man and unloaded his clip. Jonathan Ferrell deserves justice. What he deserves even more is to have the cops protect and serve everyone and not just white people and he deserves to still be alive. God help us all. 

#31WriteNow: I Just Hope That You Miss Me A Little When I'm Gone

I'm taking a timeout. I am making myself do the work that needs to be done away from this space. I've been fighting against doing this all year. But, the reality is I can no longer do that. I need a break. I need to get out of my head and focused on more positive things in life. I feel like I've been writing one extensive, emotional, ridiculous letter to a certain person via social media. And, none of it is making the situation better. Actually, it's gotten worse and I'm over it. I do not care to continue this train of thought and this tone of voice. So, I am leaving for a little while. I am challenging myself to abstain from blogging for a little while. It won't be easy because I actually love writing. But, I need to do this. 

I am very proud of myself for completing Luvvie's #31WriteNow writing challenge. It took everything in me to get here. So, I need a break. My brain is screaming for it. Hope to see you back here when I return. I am positive that my blogs will sound like Kenda again. Thank you for reading. If you're praying people, send one up for me. I can use it. So, for at least the month of September, my blog will go dark. No posts from me here. You may catch me on Twitter or Tumblr but not often. I'll miss blogging for sure as well as my readers. In the words of one Mr. Aubrey Drake Graham, "I just hope that you miss me a little when I'm gone..." 

#31WriteNow: A Celebration!

 

Would you dance with me? C'mon. Get to it!! This is a dance break post. Yes, I am celebrating that today is August 30th. That means I am one day away from finishing the #31WriteNow writing challenge. It has been a very long, hot month. I had concerns early on that I would be able to finish this. My head hasn't been in the best place which leads to writer's block more often than an writer would like. I pushed myself through this. I was determined to do it. I needed to do it. I had to write this month. This challenge came along at the perfect moment. It was truly divine intervention. And, I welcomed it rightfully into my life and onto my blog. I sat down and wrote a few blogs that first week. That was the easiest week of this. Everything after that was a labor of love. There were some days when the words just wouldn't come. Those were the worst days. Prayer helped me through those days. 

 

So, as I sit here blogging on the second to last day of the challenge, I am reflecting. This challenge wasn't always easy nor did I always feel like doing it. But, I knew that it would be the best thing for me. It has allowed to get all of the words, thoughts and ideas out of my head and on to the proverbial page. I am grateful for that alone. I do not know if people who aren't writers get how much goes through a writer's head all the time. There is never a moment when nothing is forming in my head. I can try to not focus on it. But, because I write, those words will demand to be written one way or another. That's just my truth. I have so many unfinished blogs sitting in my drafts right now. Things I felt like I wanted to say and ultimately decided I couldn't. Or things that I don't think I'm ready to finish yet. Some of my drafts are just things that have demanded not to be written...yet. Either way, I am always writing in some form or fashion. Now, I'm at the need of this challenge. I have grown because of it. There is only one day left. So, yes, I am dancing and celebrating myself!! Thank God that I made it through this month. 

#31WriteNow: Around These E-Streets (IX)

1. The MTV VMA's were a hot mess. Save for the Justin Timberlake and Bruno Mars performances. Everything else was literally a clusterfuck of white folks behaving badly while appropriating Black culture. I'm disgusted in many ways.
2. The Foreign Exchange finally released their new single "Call It Home" this week. I love it. If you aren't up on FE, you need to give them a listen. Love Phonte and Nicolay and their music. Haven't stopped listening to it all week. Get into them.  
3. This #31WriteNow writing challenge has been stressful. Extremely. I needed to do it. But, I am so happy that I can see the finish line. The light at the end of the tunnel is shining brightly. I am proud of myself for getting to this point. I'm also grateful for the new bloggers I've discovered through this challenge.
4. The appropriating of Black culture was at an all time high this week. ABC did this report which was just about my breaking point. Seriously, a report on twerking?!? Go home White America, you're drunk! Ugh. Oh, but Black Twitter did not disappoint. The trending topic of #ABCReports was golden earlier this week. Get into it for a laugh or 3. 
5. The PR machine that is the Kardashians are up to new low tricks today. I find it hard to believe that Lamar Odom is a raging crack addict and has been for years. As if this man doesn't work for the NBA and has to pass random drug testing. Also, it seems very ironic that this drug story comes out after the cheating allegations arise. I call major bs and I'm looking dead at Kris Jenner for this.
   
   
   

   
   
6. Also, I really hate when mainstream media gets ahold of new terms/slang. They kill it quickly. Such as their new found fascination with twerking. It is being added to the Oxford English dictionary. I'm disgusted. BTW, what Miley is doing isn't twerking. It's making a damn fool of herself. Go ahead and watch. Cringe and be embarrassed for her.
7. All week, I've been obsessed with one project: TGT's "Three Kings" cd. It is just great R&B. Tank, Ginuwine and Tyrese have come together as TGT. They released their debut cd "Three Kings" this week. It is literally all I've been listening to. If you are a fan of soulful R&B, this is for you. Get into it. Especially "OMG," "Tearing It Down," "Weekend In Love," and most importantly "FYH."
8. I've been a fan of Michael B. Jordan since he was Wallace on "The Wire." *spoiler alert* I cried when Bodie and Poot killed him in season one. Hated it. I've watched him grow as an actor. I really dug him in "Chronicle." I LOVED him as Oscar Grant in "Fruitvale Station." Great actor but really he is just so nice to look at. 
9. I can honestly say there is only one headline I want to see that ha the name of Trayvon Martin's killer in it. I'm not sorry about that sentiment. The lawyers of Martin's killer are moving forward to ask the state of Florida to foot the bill (between $200,000 - $300,000) for the trial. The murderer's wife was found guilty of perjury this week also. Like her husband, she too has skirted jail time. Still no justice for Trayvon Martin. 
10. I've written a few stories.You can read them here and here. I've taken a new approach to it. Well sort of. It's been building 6 words at a time. I didn't have a goal when I started out. But, it's ended up being my thoughts this year. Read it here if you like. I was going to stop at 100. I'm on 105.

#31WriteNow: Trust Issues

Trust is defined as confident expectation of something; hope or reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.

Trust is a very fragile entity. I'm, generally, a very trusting young woman. If you show me who you are, show me your heart, I will give you my trust. I'm like that. But, if ever this trust is broken, I can be a stone wall. I'm not going to willing let you back in, especially if you've hurt me. That's craziness to me. I'm a Sagittarius and that means I play and love hard. I may not show everyone when I am hurt or hurting, but I will not let you to continually chip away at my heart. I've played that role. It sucked and I didn't like it. So, I made a conscious decision to never be that chick again. Not for a man who didn't love me enough or a friend who didn't appreciate my friendship. It's hard to trust people once someone has shown you the pain of haivng that trust broken. Broken trust is almost the worst thing to repair, next to only a broken heart. It is an act of Congress to move past the hurt. 

I'm a huge believer in the fact that every single thing happens for a reason and in the way/manner it's supposed to. I trust my feelings implicitly. I've never failed me. I try to give folks the benefit of the doubt. But, you only get one time to cross me. I'm *no longer* on second and third chances. Truth be told, most are who they are from jump. Meaning that most won't change. I don't think I have trust issues though. I am just cautious. Life has made me that way. I've trusted the wrong people before. I've had my feelings hurt severly because of it. Being hurt or sad is never something I willingly want to be a part of. I try to avoid it as much as possible. I'm always working on being a better woman, daughter, sister, auntie, friend, cousin, listener, communicator, writer, person. But, my trust issues are embedded into my mainframe. It helps me weed out the good from the bad. I think I'll keep this character flaw.

#31WriteNow: Emotional Vampires

This person can be your family or your friend or your lover. They love you like you love them. But, they drain you emotionally. They are known as "emotional vampires." Probably because they are known to suck you dry emotionally. Nothing you ever do to help them is enough for them. They are always in the middle of some drama. It never fails. And you are the first (and seemingly only) person they call. Why are these types of relationships the hardest to shake? Emotional vampires are leeches. They will suck and suck until there is nothing left. They always need all of your attention. They are never there for anyone else. They need to be the center of attention because of their emotional drama. No one ever wants to pull away from family or friends. It's hard and it hurts. But, when that relationship begins to tale its toll on everything around you, something has to give. You can't keep saving them from their dramas. Because that will never solve the problem. More often than not, it helps the issue grow

Emotional vampires truly do not want an answer to their problem. They just want you to jump in every time and save the day. It's like this is their drug. Because they thrive on the drama. It is what makes their world spin. I would hate to be that draining on another person. When I do speak about my problems, its because I truly need help. I don't ask often. That's because I'm too prideful at times. I hate to bother people. I can tell you my opinion or how I feel inside all day. That's beyond easy to me. I like to talk. But my problems are a whole different lot. I keep them mostly to myself. I solve them on my own. I'm very much in my own head. My burdens aren't meant for someone else to bear. I use my head and follow my heart wherever they lead me. I wasn't raised to depend on anyone for my well-being. I guess this is why I don't get this kind of behavior.

These types of relationships can become toxic if you're not careful. Sometimes you have to place boundaries. Say no when you usually say yes. Walk away instead of engaging. And, if all else fails, letting go is the only option. It's definitely sad of that's how it ends. My well-being and peace of mind matter the most to me. That may sound very self involved but its true. I can't keep looking out for you while ignoring me. That's quite insane. If push comes to shove, I can still love you from afar. I've had to deal with this on two separate occasions. It sucked. These friends drained me. It was a roller coaster all the time. I backed off once I realized that they didn't wanna grow from there. I'm still cool with them but I'm no longer playing the game. What makes a person behave like this? I always wondered if the two people in my life knew that they were draining me. I never asked them. I'm sure they would be very offended if I asked now. Have any of you dealt with emotional draining relationships? Or have you been the one draining folks? How did you handle it? Have you changed? Let's talk about it.

#31WriteNow: Sorry, I'm So Blunt

I'm a blunt woman. That's the nicest way to put it. I say whatever crosses my mind because I feel it. This has, of course, led to some awkward moments in my life. Over the years, I've learned how to curb this trait in myself. I've held my tongue in order to keep the peace in my family, my life, and my job. It wasn't easy at all. But I did it. Biting my tongue is hard for a (mainly) extroverted person. I have no issues with speaking my mind. But, I've learned that not everyone appreciates such a unique characteristic. The combination of my quick wit and sarcastic tone can be a bit much for some.

I recognize that fact. So I'm working on my delivery as well. My sarcastic nature shows up and out all the time. I don't know how much of that I can change. But, we'll see. In watching the words I speak, I am creating my own legacy. I don't want to be the one who cuts down another through my words. The act of biting my tongue is forcing me to think and react more positively. That's what I want most for me. I want to speak the words that encourage and enlighten those around me. So that when they think of me, all the thoughts are good. This is all a part of my quest to being a better version of me. Biting my tongue will make for better type of conversations I believe.

#31WriteNow: Get Into It & Sleep Like A Baby

I have trouble sleeping. This year, that issue has gotten worse. I can be dog tired. I will get in bed ready to go to sleep. But, sleep never comes. My mind does not slow down enough for that to happen in a reasonable amount of time. I stare at the ceiling, the walls, pr out the window. I pick up my cell constantly. My thoughts are so loud that I can't turn them off or down. Sleep is no longer my friend. When it comes to getting rest, I am really open to try just about anything within means. I really do not like to take any medicine to help me sleep. I am always afraid of developing an addiction. I've tried getting in bed earlier to combat the restlessness. Sometimes this works, other times it doesn't. A few nights ago, Jia tweeted about the greatness of a sleep aid app. It is Deep Sleep and Relax Hypnosis by Mindifi. It's a free app so no excuses for not trying it. 

I tried the "Sleep Like A Baby" option Thursday and Saturday nights. It is instantly relaxing. I was calm and soothed. Before I knew it, I was asleep. I do not remember falling asleep at all. That to me is a win. The app got me to focus on the speaking voice of the guy and turn my thoughts off. For the first time this year, I went to sleep with no trouble. No thoughts of the "whys" or "what ifs." I just slept. It was peaceful. I woke up so rested. I slept 8 hours straight both nights. That in itself is a feat. I've been in the greatest mood today because I am well rested. This app is beyond a win for me. I cannot wait to try it again tonight. It's that good. If you are like me and have more than a little trouble sleeping, you should def check this app out. Sleep like a baby for real. Thank me later.

#31WriteNow: Close The Door

Every night, I sit and write. It's the same sentence. The same sentiment nightly. No matter how I word it, I'm saying the same thing. My mind is stuck on repeat. I don't want to think about it or talk about it. And, I damn sure don't want to write about it. But, it consumes me. It's the first and last thing on my mind. So I write about it even when I try not to. How ill is that? I can't control my thoughts or my writing. What I really need is to close the door to a house that I no longer reside in.

I'm more than this. I'm bigger than this. But I can't fight my way out of this. My reality is that I'm searching for answers and a heartfelt apology that I may never get. The problem is this depends solely on one person. This person is unwilling to give me what I need. Hell, give me what I deserve. I'm beyond perplexed by this. I'm tired of trying to figure out the what's and why's. I just really want to be done with this aspect of my life. I need closure on this.

I feel like a broken record repeating the same sentiment. But, unfortunately, I'm a writer who has to write what's on her heart. Tonight, this topic one. I've avoided the this for weeks. I don't know how to move forward. I don't know how to shake this feeling. It's weird because usually I'm the problem solver. Closure, in the past, has always come when I didn't need it anymore. I'm not that patient right now. I just had an epiphany. Maybe that's the lesson here.

#31WriteNow: Places I Must Visit

 

San Francisco, California is a new addition to my places to visit. I do not know anyone that lives here but I do have fam in Northern Cali. I am in love with the architecture of this city. I want to ride their trolleys and go to an open house here. Crossing the Golden Gate Bridge is a must when visiting San Fran. I love all of the pictures I have seen of the bridge all lit up at night. It is gorgeous. Also, visiting Alcatraz, the Exploratorium and Fisherman's Wharf are a must. I have a special place in my heart for California anyway. It's a place that I really wouldn't mind living again. I also have to explore Northern Cali because people say it's a totally different world from SoCal. 

 

"As the shimmering "City by the Bay," San Francisco’s distinctive terrain – water on one side, hills on the other – leads to spectacular views and experiences that could only happen here. The city’s wide array of attractions, activities, and personality-infused neighborhoods appeal to visitors of all ages." - via City Pass

From pictures, San Fran seems to have a New Orleans-esque feel to it. The cable cars and the carriages are all things synonymous with the N.O. There are a plethora of restaurants and landmarks that I need to see and photograph. And, anywhere near water is a win for me. I think I was born to live near water. It keeps calling my name. Which is strange because I cannot swim but I love it anyway. San Fran has a famous farmer's market that I def want to visit. It's just such a beautiful city. It just seems like a great place to visit. It has moved up to my top ten places to visit. Cannot wait to get there. 

#31WriteNow: In My Mind

I've had a lot of time to think the last few months. My mind is full of so many thoughts. Most are things I will never verbalize. Could never say. Others are fears that have somehow found their way back to the forefront. I've always been an "in my head" type of person. Thinking & over thinking are two things I have mastered. This is the gift and the curse. Always has been. Especially when it comes to things I don't want to face. Life doesn't have a pause button or a time out option. Things happen, fall apart or go awry daily. The only option is to deal. Find some way to get through that moment.

That's what I've been faced with lately. And, I haven't dealt with things in the best way. I've drank way too much wine and Ciroc. I've cried so much that I feel like my tear ducts should be empty. Sleep no longer knows my name. I've written so many letters that I'll never send. And the worst thing I've done is keep my problems to myself. I can't bring myself to truly talk about what's really bothering me. Because of all the things that life has thrown my way lately, I am not myself. I don't feel like I'm being me. And the reality is how could I? I am different. I am broken in places I can't reach or fix. I feel like I'm standing still, stuck to this spot and the world is on fast forward around me. Everybody is moving, doing, growing. And I'm not doing anything but watching.

I know that things will get better. That there will come a moment where I can feel like I can truly breathe again. When I see that the world is a bright, sunny place again. I know all of that. But, right now, that seems so far away that I can barely imagine it. My heart is heavy. My head hurts. I need a moment. Give me a moment please. A minute to get it together again. I know I'll be just fine one day. I mean, I'm Yolanda's daughter & she did not raise a quitter or a weakling. These are just some of the thoughts floating through my crowded mind. I needed to share it.

#31WriteNow: Mixed Signals

This has been sitting in my drafts for awhile. It's still relevant to life. So, here it goes. I believe that I am very good at saying what I mean and following through. I do not believe that most people fall under the same category. I don't like to play with any one's emotions or confuse folks. I say what I mean so that they get exactly what I'm saying. This has been a theme in my life this year. Me not knowing exactly what people truly mean and where they are coming from. It is the most frustrating thing ever. I hate have to decipher what every conversation really means or what that text actually meant. It would be so much easier if folks just said what they meant. There would be no mixed signals or miscommunication. It's really a simple practice. This is where signals get crossed and things are taken the wrong way. I can detect a different tone in a person's text that they did not intend. I've been wanting to scream "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN??" so many times this year. 

I have decided just to take folks at face value. Whatever you say or text is what you meant. I do not have time to be Inspector Gadget every day. The people that want to be in your life will show and prove. And, those that don't won't. I believe in simplification. I can't keep holding on to people and relationships that have run their course. I hope that I am not guilty of doing the same. I just know that my life would be a lot better if folks didn't do this. I truly cannot deal anymore. I can't spend another moment trying to figure you out. I will be taking folks at face value from this point on. The miscommunication will be on your part. Whatever you said, emailed, texted, IM'd, tweeted, tumbled, or blogged will be your word. Nothing more, nothing less. Problem solved. 

#31WriteNow: A Movie Review

The conversation of Blackness has been a hot button issue lately. Race has been a topic of discussion. Lee Daniels tackles race from a different viewpoint. I went into this film with a totally open mindset. This is completely different from the way I approached "The Help." I was dead set against that film for so many reasons. I did not watch it in the theaters. I did not watch "The Help" until after I was challenged to read the book. Which I did and I liked it. I was surprised. I couldn't wait to watch the movie. I enjoyed it. For that reason alone, I knew I had to keep my mind and eyes open when watching this film. "The Butler" stars Forrest Whitaker, Oprah Winfrey, David Oyelowo, Cuba Gooding Jr., YaYa Alafia, and Lenny Kravitz in prominent roles. The movie is told through the eyes of a man, Cecil Gaines, born a slave who lived his life as a servant. This film examines the historic role of one man's extraordinary life in the White House.

Oprah plays Cecil's wife Gloria Gaines. She is a stay at home Mom of two boys. Throughout the film, the audience watches her go through so much almost silently. I loved her character because she felt so real. Oprah was really good in this film. Other standouts were Lenny Kravitz who also plays a butler in the White House. Every person int . David Banner and Mariah Carey played Cecil's parents in the opening scene. I have a few issues with Mariah's character. One being that she had no lines and served no purpose. Whitaker was simply amazing in his role. As was Oyelowo who played Louis, Cecil's oldest son. The core of the movie is a struggle between father and son. Both men have different views as to how to deal with the oppression of Black people in the 60's. Their struggle makes for a strained relationship for most of the movie. To me, the most pivotal scene is the one where the Father finally sees the son's point of view. 

I loved the inclusion of the Black Panthers in this film. They played a huge role in history. The scope of this film includes a unique look at former presidents. I loved the look into the JFK era and the Reagan era. The actor who plays Reagan is amazing. The storyline was  so intriguing. I laughed, smiled, and cried during the viewing. I do not remember the last time a film evoked so many emotions out of me. It was simply a great film. It was the number one film of the weekend. Which I think is awesome. When I went to see it, the theater was packed at 10am on a Saturday morning. The crowd was mostly Black but there were a good amount of White people there as well. At the end, there was an out pour of applause from the audience. Go see it.