Colorful Epiphany

As I watched the night sky light up in colorful bursts of lights, I was filled with so much hope and happiness. It's been a really long time since I felt like this. I've never been one to believe in that whole "new year, new me" slogan that folks throw around. I simply always want to be working towards being a better version of the woman I was last year. I want to be more. That has always been my only real resolution. But, this felt different. Instead of getting down on myself about things/goals I haven't accomplished yet or people/things I've lost, I silently gave thanks for all the blessings in my life. I may not be in the position I ultimately desire but I'm still here. That means I still have time to get it all and more. That was the lesson the last few years taught me. There is no progression when I allow myself to wallow in the shade that disappointment brings. I finally feel like I am standing in the sun. 

I feel so much more like myself today than I have in a really long time. I am ready to make the moves necessary for me to truly live my life. I have no clue what is coming but I know it will be amazing. Because God said so. All the tears I've cried have been watering the seeds that were planted. I cannot wait to receive my bounty.What I want most is a life that is as colorful, bright and lively as the fireworks I witnessed that night. Simply put, I want to shine. And, I will. That is a promise I am making to myself for myself. It may not be what others expect it to be but it will be mine and it will be amazing. That's my word. I resolve to be the best version of myself. I am ready for 2015!

What Would You Do?

Saturday morning I was doing what has become a routine: reading my magazines. I subscribe to far too many and usual let them pile up before I read them. The picture above comes from Oprah's O Magazine. The title alone caught my eye. "What Would You Do IF You Had No Fear" is an awesome question. What would I do? I have a list that would definitely take place. It is amazing to me how much fear rules our lives. The women who answered the magazine's question did not give outrageous answers. One woman said she would move to another country with her family and open up a cafe'. Another said she would write a children's book. None of these things are unobtainable. I think we get so caught up in the day to day that we forget to live our dreams. Fear does nothing but prohibit us from getting to our destiny.  I've written about fear before: here, here, and here. It is something I deal with on a daily. Finding a way to conquer my own fears is a journey in itself. 

If I had no fear, I would indulge in the following:

• Drop everything and move to San Diego or Savannah. I've never been that fearless.
• Travel to Santorini, Greece alone. It's a trip that I've been planning mentally for 2 decades. 
• Spend the summer getting lost in the islands. No phone, no internet. Just a camera.
• Go to my Dad's grave. 
• Go back to school to get another degree.

Eliminating fear from my life is my new goal. I want to be fearless in all aspects of my life. I want to be able to do whatever my heart desire's without worrying. I want to be able to let go of my worrying and just exist. I want to walk confidently into my destiny with my head held high and my conscious clear. I will do this. I will become that truly fearless woman I envisioned in my mind. She is me and I am her. There is no other option. So what would you guys do if you had no fear? What is the dream that you haven't gone after because of fear? Let's discuss and then let's go get it. 

Food For Thought: Love

This question was posted on Tumblr by Arsenicandgoldlace a few hours ago. It instantly caught my eye. This question had my mind racing because I had two different answers. I do not believe that love cancels out a person's ability to hurt someone they love. I've had family/friends/lovers hurt me. Their love for me didn't stop them from doing so. They hurt me. And, I am guilty of the same. Of hurting the ones I love. It was never intentional, But, we've all done it. It is something that none of us can live without. And, even when we've been hurt by love, torn apart by it, or crushed by it, it is still the most essential emotions that humans can exert. I love love. Even where I am right at this moment, I can say that and know that its true. It's that important, that deep. I've always said that I cannot define love with words but I know it when I feel it. It is an emotion that is undeniable and unlike anything I've ever felt. Lace and I had a back and forth dialogue about the topic. I posted it below. It is always interesting to hear others view on love and relations.

I stand by my words. We give so much power to the ones we love. We give it to them in hopes that they will cradle our love and hearts. We hope and pray that they never hurt us and vice versa. Love in any and all forms can be tricky. When you love anyone, you are carrying that person's heart in your hands. It is so easy to fumble with it when you aren't paying attention. I know I have to be better about the things I do and say. I just wish others in my life would acknowledge that as well. I put up a good tough girl front. But, I hurt, I cry, I feel pain. I actually think that I am more sensitive than most realize because of my strong exterior. That's partly my fault. We all need to be more careful with the ones we love because life is indeed short. We should tell the ones we love that we love them while they are here. I would love to hear from others on this topic. Let's dish. What's your take on it?

*Sidenote - This wedding cake is just DOPE. I had no other reason to use this pic other than I dug it*

Just A Thought

Silence can be a double edged sword. It could be solace when you most need it or it could be deafening. I deal with this a lot. Sometimes I want nothing more than the solitude that silence affords me. Other times, I crave people and noise and anything that gets me out of my head. Silence is a gift when the world gets to be too much. But, it can also be the curse when you desire to hear something from someone. I was searching for quotes about silence and found a few that jumped out at me. Along with the picture above, they have been the underlying theme of my life today. It was even mentioned in my horoscope. So, I should've saw it coming. Anyway, just thought I would share all of this with all of you,

• "After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music." - Aldous Huxley
• "Silence is argument carrout by other means." - Che Guevara.
• "He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words." - Elbert Hubbard
• "Absolute silence leads to sadness. It is the image of death." - Jean-Jacques Rousseau
• "After an argument, silence may mean acceptance or the continuation of resistance by other means." - Mason Cooley

Food For Thought

I am inspired easily sometimes. These images have done that for me. The first one describes me perfectly. I have never been one to act my age. I really don't even know what that means. I don't necessarily act younger or older. I'm just me. Sometimes serious, sometimes silly, always myself though. I don't know how a 32-almost-33 year old is supposed to act. But, if it's any way other than my current state of mind then I'll pass. I happen to like the way I act. Everyone else should too.

"Alice In Wonderland" has long been a favorite of mine. I loved the book as a kid and enjoyed the movies as an adult. There are a ton of quotable moments in the story. One of my favorites being "I've sometimes believed almost 6 impossible things before breakfast." Another being the passage below. It's still true to my life. When you have a decision to make and you don't really know where you're going or what you want, then the road you choose really doesn't matter. I think people forget this. It is a quote that I will always carry with me.

I love this image. I've seen it multiple times with certain words being added or deleted. I love the overall message of it that simply means "enjoy your life." It is a reminder to live life while you can. Because in the end, worrying, stressing, over-thinking will not make you enjoy your life any more. I always need this reminder. I need to remember to simply be in the moment. To exist right now without thinking ahead so much. It is one of my bad habits. I am an over-thinker. Have been for as long as I can remember. And, the reality is it's too much weight for me to bear most days. I need to be more and think less. I know some say that less is more but in the case of this image it's the other way around. I need more, deserve more. And, I've decided to grab my more and leave the less behind. I have to. Theses images gave me food for thought. And allowed me to take my mind off of the other things consuming my mind and life. This is just a little food for thought. Take with you what you need. Leave the rest for someone else. Feed your mind!

#30in30: Food For Thought

Focus means "a central point, as of attraction, attention or activity."

Sometimes this is the hardest thing to do, to focus. To get your mind centered on one specific thing. Life has a way of throwing so much at a person that one could lose focus easily. I know this to be true. Some things I know when it comes to writing, I have to truly get myself to settle down and focus. I have to visualize my topic and my points. I clear my mind of everything and focus on that one topic. All of my thoughts about it cloud my mind. This is easier said than done when it comes writing. My focus gets challenged many nights. There are times when I cannot write a thing. Any there are times when I have trouble focusing on many things. It takes a lot of concentration. My mind is always on overdrive. This is the gift and the curse. It's awesome when I need to brainstorm. Not so awesome when its time to sleep. At that point, I have to make myself focus on sleep. What is your focus right now in life? Where does your passion lie?