Friday, April 19, 2013

Men and Women Are Just...Different

Last night, I read this dope article by Demetria L. Lucas (aka A Belle In Brooklyn). The title "Why Don't Men Get Brokenhearted" was enough to get me to read it. As this is a topic I've thought about often. Men and women are just different when it comes to handling the end of a relationship. I think men compartmentalize their emotions. Women do not. No matter how strong a woman is when her heart has been broken, all bets are off. I really hate that opening yourself up to love also comes with the possibility of having your heart broken. It truly sucks. It reminds me of that quote "Love is giving someone the ability to destroy you and trusting them not to." And, the reality is that heartbreak changes you. What exactly do you do when you've been destroyed? How do you pick yourself up from that? I still have no clue. This article opened my eyes to some things.  My favorite part of her article was this:

For clarity, men are not women with penises. Via nature, they're wired differently, and via nurture (i.e., socialization) they're usually taught to respond differently from women -- for instance, holding back tears that women might let flow or clamming up when women would want to talk. 
Some women make the mistake of assuming that men don't have feelings just because, in general, they don't express them the same way women do. And some women use that faulty reasoning to treat men with less care than they should, which is never OK. Expressing their feelings differently doesn't mean men don't have them.  
It sounds as if you may be in the midst of your own heartbreak and don't understand why the object of your affection doesn't feel the way you do.

I've been here in this broken place twice. Which is two times too many if you ask me. I know how I "handle" heartbreak. Handle being the operative word. I cry a lot. I write until my fingers hurt. I listen to music that only speaks to that exact emotion which in turn makes me cry even more. I drink too much. I think way too much. But, what I don't do is talk a lot. I hold my cards very close to the chest. I don't want everyone to know how sad I am or how broken I feel or even how angry I am. I keep almost all of that trapped inside me. I have male friends who've gone through breakup's but they never act like I do. Except the drinking. That seems to be a given. I know that men and women are different. Women can be too emotional but men are culturally programmed to not show emotions. It's just odd. It makes me question so many things. Granted I would not be ok with a man bawling in front of me on a daily. That's not what I want. The article just really stuck with me. For reasons. It was very interesting and I had to share. 

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