Monday, January 10, 2011

Typecasting Per Se?!?

Do you have a type? Are you conscious of it? I was randomly having a conversation with an associate about types. People always make a big deal about types. One likes what one likes, I suppose. I said I didn't have one really. She said she def did and that her husband was def not it. This kinda surprised me for a few reasons. they have one of the best relationships I've ever witnessed. They are best friends. But, then she responded to my look of disbelief with this golden nugget "when I met him, I realized that the reason no other relationship worked was because my type was no good for me and this man was just right for me." That one sentence put some things in perspective.

That led me to this question. Is not having a type qualified as a type? Could you possibly fall in love with someone who didn't fit into the box entitled "your type?" I think that sometimes we box ourselves into a certain box and it makes it hard for us to climb up out of it. I also began to wonder about how one begins to learn what their type is. I like chocolate men. There are really no other factors that connect my ex beau's. I've never been moved by any one else. I know that I've been that way since my first crush on Ralph Tresvant of New Edition fame. And, even then, no one could tell that there was anything cuter than a brown skinned boy. I can apreciate the handsomeness of men in general. But, I fancy what/whom I fancy.

I'm certain that I don't really have a type. But I've also noticed that the older I get, the more my outlook changes. They say with age comes wisdom. And, I def have to agree with that. I've changed a lot since entering my 30's. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But, I realize that I have to look past what is evident and see what isn't as evident in a man. It's less physical beauty and clearly more inner beauty. Now don't get me wrong, my eyes have to be interested in the man. But, intelligence is number one on my list. A sense of humor, a great sense of self, love for family, spiritual, are on my list as well. That describes my non-type to a "T." Maybe stepping outside of one's proverbial box could put us all on the path to our destiny.


  1. I don't have a type. I always "say" that I like my men really tall and really dark, but it sometimes doesn't work out that way. I also say that I really don't like lightskinned men but that is subject to change.

    If hard pressed, I'd have to say my "type" is a man who knows what being a man means. Someone I can get along with, have fun with, and build with. He'd have to "get" me and love me and let me love him back. Sense of humor, sense of style, and sense of adventure thrown in for good measure.

    I can't be all specific with a laundry lists of features and attributes, but basically as long as he's got some "ack right" in him, we're good.

  2. I can say my type has changed dramatically over the years. The closer I'm getting to 30...the more I'm settling into this nerd/gentleman type. It's hard to explain. lol

  3. @ Kimmie - I don't do light skinned either. Never have. I happen to love brown skin too much. Why am I lol @ "ack right?" But, I 'm right there with you on that. Are the guys you used to date at like 18 the same kind of guys you would date now?

    @ Joey - I totally get your type. I went through this bad boy phase for a few years. The reality is that wasn't me. Now, I am totally immersed in a intellectual man who has a street edge but is a complete grown ass man. Best of both worlds!

  4. My type is a man who challenges almost any way that you can interpret that...

  5. I have three things that are "my type." In no particular order:

    (3)He is very similar to me in personality

    The third probably should be #1 b/c if a man's personality isn't close to mine, we won't make it. That opposites attract thing is for the birds in MY life; besides, who wants to be the exact opposite of their s/o?

  6. I CERTAINLY don't have a type! I never have. My interests run the gamut--from tall and slim (without naming names) to big and broad (a la Deuce). When deciding on future mates, I apply the former Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart's famous phrase, "I know it when I see it." "It" doesn't look the same every single time nor possess the same qualities. I'll just know "him" when he appears!

  7. @ Selkie - Hi my friend :) I totally concur with your type of man as well.

    @ BB - I'm not a big believer in opposites attract either. I believe that there has to be some common ground for couples.

    @ Tra - LOL @ "without naming names!!" No comment on that one :) You are def right about "it," it def doens't look/feel the same to every one.

  8. I have a type..and it's not working for me because I'm 0 for .... whatever! I've realized that I seem to have a thing for arrogant assholes. I'm not sure what it is..maybe they present a challenge and I think I can change it? Point is I realize this is my downfall so I'm working on it. *sigh*

  9. @ HB - Hi!! I have come to believe that getting caught up in a type is just a way of playing out the same relationship[ over and over. And, I know for a fact that arrogant assholes will never change. They can't lol.