Ayudame

I don't like to ask for help. Nor do I even like to admit that I may need it. It's just not me. It kinda goes against everything I am. In my rational mind, I know that asking for or needing help is not a sign of weakness. It's a human trait. But, the irrational part of me equates it with weakness. It is something that I am working on diligently. It is not easy to change something that is so dear to me.

As per some of my earlier posts, I'm sure you guys have realized that I am all about control. I like to be in charge and make sure things go accordingly. I've always been the one to help others. The one who made sure that things worked out for others. I have no problem playing that role. As a matter of fact, I relish it. It falls in line with my being the oldest and being somewhat bossy personality.

I am slowly but surely learning that even I need help some times. But, with age, if you're lucky comes wisdom. I now realize that my control issues are not as important as my feelings. Life is about the unexpected and uncontrolled. So I am allowing myself to just be. So I'm gonna try my best to say the words help me or ayudame as often as I feel it is needed. And, know that those words do not make me any less Kenda. I'm still me all day.