Thursday, January 20, 2011
A Question Inspires This Writer
"Can you have a future if your past is present?" Carrie Bradshaw, SATC
While watching an old "Sex and the City" episode, this question by Carrie got me to thinking. I have a past. You have a past. We all have one. But how can you move forward when and/or if your past keeps making an appearance in your present. How exactly does one move on when an ex won't stay in your past? There is a fine line we have to walk when it comes to remaining friends with an ex.
The reality is that at some point the two people who are now exes were friends. Sometimes soul mates dissipate. Love falls apart. Love turns to hate. The road gets really slippery. Love can be a tricky thing. One never really knows what the outcome of a relationship will ever be. People fall in and out of love and relationships easily. Thus is life. Relationships begin and end that quickly. we are humans and we are all seeking our mates.
Even relationships of mine that have ended in anger and fussing and fighting, are now at a point where me and an ex can be cordial. It's been years and what's the point of holding a grudge? I do not feel the need to keep in constant contact with them. It's just not important to me where I am in my life. A phone call, email, or text once in a while to catch up is enough for me. I don't harbor no hate for any of them. No bad feelings or love either. Besides, I think my current life does not need validation or visits from my past. An ex is an ex for a reason. I once had expectations of those men and we failed. "He" was not meant to play a part in my future.
I believe that the answer to Carrie's question is simple. One can not get to their future if they are constantly confronted with their past in their present. There will be no future if one keeps engaging themselves in their past lives. The past is the past. It is nice for the memories and to measure one's growth. It does not determine where one will end up. It has no true bearing on my future and I won't allow it to. So, maybe being friendly with an ex from a distance is the key. Are you or your significant other friends with an ex? Is it causing issues in your current situation?