Monday, January 17, 2011

I Can See Clearly Now...

Do you see yourself clearly? How do you see yourself? Is it in the same manner in which others do? I am sure that I do. When I look in the mirror or look introspectively, I see me. All of me. My positive, my negative and all of my in betweens. I have a very clear and true view of me. I was having a moment or three yesterday in my head and I was left wondering some things about vision, sight, and perception.

I, admittedly, am a thinker. I am constantly in my head about anything, everything, and nothing. I am also a worrier. That's just the way I handle and process things. I am my own worst critic and I know this. I see myself as the person who has to fix everything for everyone. It can become too much. I internalize things. That is a known fact about me. Even if I never show it, I take things very personally, even when I shouldn't. I took a really good long look at myself yesterday. And I realized that I was wrong in the situation. It wasn't a personal attack against me and what I feel belongs to me. I had to calm myself down and rationalize the issue in front of me. I still felt some kinda way about it. But, I accepted that this is life and things occur. I am still me and life goes on. What's the point of freaking out, inside my own head, about factors I cannot control? That solves nothing and def doesn't help anyone. I addressed a fault in myself head on and squashed it.

I am so accustomed to solving everything myself that it is hard and difficult to allow someone else to help me. I'm working on it though. It's hard to stop carrying the world on your shoulders when its all you know. But, I know I wasn't put here to do it alone. And, it's about time I fully accept the help that's being offered. I cannot constantly shut people out because I feel as if I can do it all. During my epiphany moment yesterday, I was instantly calmed. I felt really silly afterwards. That's another personality flaw of mines. I do not like to feel silly. But, as you can see, I see me clearly. Do you?

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