In essence, we are all looking for, seeking, searching for love in some way, shape, or force. It is what we are here for. But, if you've been hurt before, giving in to love is a hard mountain to climb. Once you've learned to protect yourself from being hurt, that defense mechanism turns on automatically. I've been hurt before by someone who claimed to love me. The aftermath of that was dreadful. Because of it, I've broken a few hearts as well. I feel awful about that. So, letting go of past hurt and giving into the possibility of a new love is absolutely frightening to me.
I'm a strong chick. This much I know to be true. I'm afraid to fail @love again. Afraid that being hurt again would be harder than the last time. I'm always in my own head contemplating every possible scenario. I'm not sure how I would pick myself back up again. It took everything out of me to mend my broken heart. I know now that I'm a better woman for making it through that situation. I also know what love really is and isn't now. So, I'm thankful for the heartbreak.
Giving into what the heart wants sounds so easy. And, truthfully, it should be. Love is simple. We complicate it. Hell, I def over think it instead of just allowing myself to feel it and be in it for the moment. With age comes wisdom if you're lucky. I count myself in that group. I'm more open to letting go and giving in. I need to feel again. I can't do it by myself. I'm not searching for a man to complete me. I'm already whole. Instead, I need a companion. The ying to my yang. The one other soul on this planet who just gets me, accepts me for the woman that I am & who just simply loves me.
"I don't know why your heart doesn't do what you tell it to." - Sidney Shaw "Brown Sugar"
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