Sunday, June 05, 2011

Worth The Weight

Weight. It's a topic often discussed and debated amongst women. We stress over it a lot. Being too thin or too fat is something people struggle with. It's an ongoing battle between ones inner and outer selves. The labels can be hurtful as well. No one wants to be called "fat" or "a big girl" because connotations are all super negative. It's a tense and touchy subject that I wanna jump into.

In general, I'm very happy with myself. I love, love, love my legs, breasts, eyes, and my smile. They are my favorite parts of me. I do, however, think there are things I can improve on. I still want to get a breast reduction. And, I have every intention of doing so. It's the only cosmetic surgery that I would ever go for. Every thing else I will work for. If I'm happy with me, then the people who love nothing should be as well. I just want to be toner in some areas. That's my ultimate goal right now.

Herein lies my problem. I'm intimidated by the gym. I'm not motivated in any way. I've changed my eating habits for the better. I've eliminated sodas, fast food and cut back on other things. I'm exercising portion control. I think sweets will always be a weak spot for me. I'm taking baby steps to get there on my own terms. No one can be my motivation but me. So that is what I plan on doing. Just gonna get myself moving in the right direction. Healthy is not a size. I'm just trying to get to there.

Weight woes have not been a determining factor in my life since then. I decided that I loved me at any weight. My concern now is being over 30 and being healthy. When and if weight loss occurs, it will be fine. I got caught up for a while in what others though of me and my body. I let it affect me deeply for a while. I starved myself because of a family members words. I'm thankful for my Mom for pulling her 14 year old daughter out of a downward spiral. I decided then and there to never let anyone determine my worth. Whatever I weigh, I'm worth it. If you love me, you love me. I just wanna be healthy and live my life. So this is the journey I'm on.

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