My Poetry Corner XI: "We Agree" & "All I Am"

My heart refuses to listen to my head
My heart wants the same thing it has for years
It wants you
Your voice, your laughter, your smile
It craves even the way you used to say my name

My heart is stupid
and foolish
because it desires who hurt it
longs for the person who broke it
My heart does not make sense

My head knows better 
It speaks reality to my unwavering heart
It recalls the words that hurt
that broke us 
that you said

My head remembers everything
and forgets nothing
when it comes to loving you
My head relives those last moments often
And it kills me

My head and my heart don't or
can't see eye to eye
loving you was a gift 
losing you felt like a death
That's the only thing that they can agree on.

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"All I Am"

Being friends with someone 
you’re still in love with is a farce. 
It’s not possible. 
I don’t want to be just your friend.
Not when I know the way my name sounds coming from your mouth dripping in love. 
I could never accept to hear my name said any other way. 
I never wanted half of you 
And that’s what being your friend means 
It means suppressing the love I feel every time I hear your voice
I couldn’t fake it anymore
I had to love me more
Had to walk away from the deepest love I’ve ever know
And now everything I write is about you or for you
In some way or another
It’s the saddest thing 
Loving you from here
Alone
I couldn’t deal
So I had to do what you couldn’t 
Leave when love wasn’t on the table
You offered friendship as a consolation prize
And, I couldn’t accept those terms and conditions 
I’m an all or nothing type of girl
You used to know that. 
So now we’re nothing
No one
And love is what we used to have
All I am is sad.