Friday, February 18, 2011

Introspective For Life

I'm not perfect. No where near it. None of us are. I have never wanted to get to my definition of perfect anyway. I am complex and intricate and simple all rolled into one. I love me and am still growing. I am the epitome of a work in progress. My complexity can be a bit much. I know this. But I also know that I'm a woman who's worth the wait, the effort and will always be that woman. All of that makes me think of the song from "Dreamgirls," "I am changing. Trying every way I can. I am changing, I'll be better than I am. I'm hoping to work it out and I know that I can." This describes me in this moment.

I'm working on me. Taking the time to watch the information I take in. I'm eliminating a lot of reality tv as well as the entire genre of urban lit books. I'm getting into motivational literature. I feel like that genre will be more beneficial to my life. I'm still reading the Bible. This also helps with the exploration of my spirituality. I'm intrigued by so many spiritual and religious aspects of life. This def falls in line with my intense thirst for knowledge. I crave it because I
need it.

I'm more insightful now. I'm speaking my life into existence. I am careful with my thoughts and my words. I'm trying my best to eliminate curse words. They aren't necessary. Even if they feel good coming put of my mouth when someone deserves to be read. All of these things are a struggle. The immature pieces of me, which are very few, are being weeded out. I think I've been more adult and mature all of my life because of the childhood I had. I was my mom's backup. That girl can no longer reside inside the woman I'm meant to become. So she has to go. And, I am more than ok with that. I need to let go to move towards my future.

I know I think too much. I am very conscious and cautious with my life and the decisions that I make. I've never been very spontaneous or even rowdy. I'm the oldest and that mothering spirit has been a part of me since birth I believe. I've never really let loose or lost control or just simply wilded out. Nor do I want to do any of that. I'm all about forward progression. I'm letting go of all the things in my past that are keeping me from flying. This blog is def me laying my heart on the line. I figure if I write it out, I'll be more accountable. I'm just ready for the next level of things include life. more so than I've ever been before. I just feel like I'm in a good space and so good thing will come to fruition within me. Whatever is for me, is only for me. I'm so ready. I'm uber excited about my future!!

Musical Moment that coincides with this post: Jennifer Hudson "I Am Changing"

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