Prayer. It has been my salvation more times than I can count. I have been raised in and around church all my life. My family is filled with praying people. I learned at an early age the power of prayer. Praying to me is the ability to have a one on one conversation with God. I learned how to say my prayers as a kid. There have been times where I feel that the only thing that saved me from myself was prayer. I remember after my Dad died, I didn't pray for a long time. I couldn't I was so hurt by his sudden death. Then, I found myself needing someone bigger than me. Finding my way back to church, prayer and God was not an easy feat for me. I did a lot of soul searching. In the ned, I had to acknowledge that I do not know best. I do not have all the answers. I needed to pray. I needed to speak my heart. It helped me get through that very dark time in my life.
The reason why prayer is the topic today is because I haven't been doing it lately. This year has been extremely hard for me. There a few situations in my life currently that I have no control over. I've been reluctant to pray because of my feelings. I have been very angry this year. I have tried to hide that from most people. But, I have mostly tried to suppress it from myself. I didn't want to acknowledge my anger. I didn't want to admit that I was. But, I was and in some ways, I still am. I feel like I need to pray now. I've cried about it, I've written about it, I've talked about it ad nauseam. I am over talking to any of my friends about what's going on with me. I require more. The only solution that I could come up with is prayer. I am challenging myself to do it early and often. I mean, what else can I do but let go and let God? He is my only answer to my issues. And, I know that in the end, prayer changes things.
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