Ladies Love Lyrics: Inspirational Music

Some days, I just need to be recentered and refocused. Lately those days have been outweighing the rest. There are two song that helps me get there. I've been playing them a lot. They are both inspirational and uplifting. They tap into a part of me that desperately needs it. Inspiration can come in many forms. This time, it came in music form. My spirituality means the world to me. Without it, I am nothing. I just wanted to share these two tracks with those that may not have heard them before. Enjoy. 

"Take me to the King
I don't have much to bring
My heart is torn in pieces
It's my offering
Take me to the King

Truth is I'm tired
Options are few
I'm trying to pray
But where are you?
I'm all churched out
Hurt and abused
I can't fake
What's left to do?

Truth is I'm weak
No strength to fight
No tears to cry
Even if I tried
But still my soul
Refuses to die
One touch will change my life

Take me to the King
I don't have much to bring
My heart's torn in pieces
It's my offering

Lay me at the throne
Leave me there alone
To gaze upon Your glory
And sing to You this song
Please Take Me To The King

Truth is it's time
To stop playing these games
We need a word
For the people's pain

So Lord speak right now
Let it fall like rain
We're desperate
We're chasing after you"

"I know you’re praying for a change

To see a sunny day
Nothing good has come your way for so long
You need someone to understand this place your heart is in
You just want to dream again and believe

Your skies may look dim and grey
But know your breakthrough’s not far away
So hold on
You are too close to give up now
You have so much to live for
Remember what you prayed for
Hold on, please don’t let go in this season
Know that flowers bloom when rain falls
You just hold on
You ask when will this go away
Know that God can feel your pain
Believe He’ll never fall short of His word
Sometimes we forget that He holds us His hands

But I’m reminding you don’t give up"

It's My Hair: Rant

Natural Hair Rant: DO NOT TOUCH MY HAIR. DO NOT ASK TO TOUCH MY HAIR. NATURAL OR RELAXED, I REALLY DO NOT CARE. 

I do not care what any other woman does with her hair. Simply because it is NOT my hair. What I do what my hair only affects me. After over 20 years of having my hair relaxed, I decided to make a drastic change. I didn’t remember what my natural hair felt like, looked like. I thought about it a lot before doing it. I thought about my future a lot. I didn’t want to pass that legacy onto any future daughter I could possibly have. I wanted to get to know my hair intimatley. It’s also kinda funny but my three younger sisters are all natual as well. Of the 3, only one wears her hair curly/kinky/coily from time to time. The other two are prone to flatirons. There isn’t one way to be natural. It’s just a way of life for us. There are many natural hair women in my family. It’s been almost 2 years for me. This natural journey isn’t a fad for me. I LOVE my hair now more than ever. I live for a braid out or twist out. But, I have no issue with rocking a bun or a flatiron. It’s just hair. And, if I ever want to get another relaxer, I just may do so. It’s just hair. I do what I want with it. I don’t look down on relaxed hair women just like I don’t look up to natural hair women. That’s all. These are just my thoughts.

NO JUSTICE, NO PEACE

Justice was NOT served tonight. George Zimmerman was found NOT GUILTY of murdering Trayvon Benjamin Martin. Excuse my French, but how in the holy fuck did this happen??!!??! If George Zimmerman is not guilty of killing an unarmed kid, then please tell me who killed Trayvon? Who? Who will be held accountable for his murder? Let's be clear, I am pissed. The same way I have been since I started writing about this case on March 15, 2012. This case struck a chord for me for so many reasons. None more than the fact that I have 4 nephews under the age of 10. This case and verdict scares me. I am afraid for them. This case was about so many things: racism, profiling, clothing, and privilege. Zimmerman killed a kid and then went home.  If not for the public outrage, this case would've went away. Zimmerman was arrogant as was his brother, mother and father (who wrote a book that blamed "Blacks" for his son being on trial no less). The trial started and I was disgusted by the defense team. I was prepared for this verdict.  

Do you see the smile on this murderer's face? Do you see the utter glee on his face? This is the body of a soulless, Godless murderer. Yes, he was found not guilty criminally. But, morally, this is the face of a cold blooded killer. He took the life of a 17 year old kid. He said that he does not regret taking Martin's life. He is guilty of that. No verdict could change that fact. He has to live with that. The all woman jury let a murderer walk. They did not do their job. This is sickening. I feel so deeply for the Martin family. Their son did not get the justice he was due tonight. I hope that they sue the Zimmerman family for all everything they have. No amount of money will bring Trayvon back. But, no murderer should be able to profit from his crime and Martin's death.

Moments like this really put things into perspective for you. I've been stressed over my heart and my emotional health and Sybrina and Tracy lost their child and didn't get justice. I feel incredibly shallow at this moment. Good job, Florida. The defense team put Martin on trial and convicted the victim. It is a gross misjudgement by West and O'Mara. The kind of karma that will come from this will have to be huge. If you are the parents/aunts/uncles/friends/Godparents of little Black children, hold them tight. America doesn't value Black people. Black President or not, this is not a post-racial land. This was proven tonight.  I'm just really sad. This makes me so sad for us as a people. We have so far to go. Jesus, help us. Rest in peace, Trayvon. We all know who killed you and why. I hope that Zimmerman never has another moment of peace. Killers do not deserve it. This night calls for dark liquor. I just can't. There is a petition by the NAACP to urge the Department of Justice to open a civil rights case against Trayvon's killer. If you agree, sign it. We can still fight the fight to the finish. For Trayvon. For Sean Bell. For Oscar Grant. For Jordan Davis. For the nameless, faceless ones who die each year to gun violence all over the world. For truth, For peace. Do something. 

   

Take Responsibility

The above quote is so true. You need to be fully responsible for the energy you bring with you, especially if its my space. I've spent the last week of my life facing some hard truths. I've never been one to turn away from any responsibility. I hold myself  accountable for every action, decision, thought and word.  It's my way of always holding myself accountable.  Whenever you walk into a room or into a person's life, you bring your energy with you. A person with negative energy can drain you, especially if its a daily thing. Also, a person with an ulterior motive has a negative energy. Keep those away from you as well. I don't know why this is such a hard concept for some. When I am in a bad mood, I tend to stay to myself. I don't necessarily want to talk about it. Nor do I want to project that onto someone else. But, that's just me. 

What I will no longer allow is someone else to come into my space and affect me negatively. My year has been the epitome of that. I've been reacting to one situation. I haven't been smart or logical about it. I've been the antithesis of myself. And, that must end. It isn't pretty or truthful. And, truthfully, I am done with it. Over it. There is no excuse for that type of thinking. If your energy is off and not pure, please stay away from me. Far away. Your space is personal. It is your own cloak of security. You have to protect it at all costs. The reality is no one will ever respect your space the way you will.  It's a very hard lesson to learn. Especially when you've let people in and they've said they would take care of you. In the end, you realize that sometimes a person's words are just that...words. My space is sacred. I need everyone to respect that. I will return the favor. These are just my thoughts as I sit out by the pool on this ridiculously hot Louisiana day. Be good to each other, people.

Ladies Love Lyrics: Toni Braxton "Stupid"

I could really go into an indepth explanantion. But, I just don't feel like it. This song came on one of my Pandora stations. And, it just felt relevant. So, here we go with a Toni Braxton track "Stupid" that should've been a much bigger hit. These lyrics are e-very-thing. Listen.


"Loving you is stupid
Cause I know that you never really loved me
And you never gave me signs Id see
That you and me were never a possibility
And I feel so stupid
After all the noise you left me lonely to die
And you never gave me a reason why
And now I'm sitting all alone and I cry

Am I stupid?
I should've known you were only playing a game
And you and me would never be the same
You made me feel like I'm the one to blame
And I feel so stupid
After all those nights after nights that I tried
And all those conversations of lies
And I'm sitting here all alone and I'm crying

I'm crying....

I can't believe you never knew how I felt 
All this love and baby no one else 
Could ever love me the way that you do
You're all I need and you treated me so wrong
And I can't believe it 
How could you do me like you do
Cause I've been so stupid for you

Why do you do me like you do
You baby, You darlin
You baby, You darlin
You don't care 
I'm stupid baby, I'm stupid darlin 
For you

And I'm the one played
And I'm the one left with all the shame
I'm stupid baby, 

Stupid darlin"

It's My Hair: 21 Months Strong

It's been a little over 21 monthe since I began my natural hair journey. I have learned that less does indeed equal more when it comes to product in my hair. I've been trying some new things lately. Simplifying my regiment. Decided to go from a braid out to bone straight and then a bun this week. The first picture shows the 3 different hairstyles that I had.  In the below picture are my three staples. One spray bottle of homemade leave in conditioner (water, conditioner, sunflower oil and evoo), Eco Styler Olive Oil Gel, and another spray bottle of water and glycerin. This entire process started with me pre-pooing my hair with the Body Shop Rainforest conditioner and oil. I followed it up with my leave-in conditioner. My hair was braided after that. 

Fast forward 5 days, I sprayed my braid out with the water/glycerin "green" spray bottle first. Then I sprayed the leave in conditioner in "blue" bottle. I let my hair air dry for a few hours. After it was about 85% dry, I started on the daunting task of flatironing my hair. I haven't done it in so long because it is a job. My hair is very thick. I actually hate doing it. But, I wanted a different look. It was my first time using the Garnier Fructis Style Sleek & Shine Flat Iron Protector Straightening Mist. I was optmistic. The scent was light and fruity. I liked the way my hair felt afterwards. Some, heat protectors make your hair feel sticky. This one did not. It took me a little over an hour and a half to finish. I was completely worn out once I was done. I was left with a head full of straightened hair. But, I live in southern Louisiana and the summertime heat is no joke. So, I decided to pull it back into a bun with a little Eco Styler Olive Oil Gel. 

 Finally over 2 hours later, I was done. I am satisfied with my results of all the new products I used to achieve this sleek and oulled together look. I had a moment last week where I wanted to cut all my hair off. I was frustrated with a few things. That would have been a rash decision and those are never good. I'm glad I didn't let my emotions make a decision I surely would've regretted. I've been stressed and my hair shows it. My hair was doing more shedding than normal because of this. I think that's over now. A hot oil treatment and a little dusting took care of it. Oh and prayer. A lot of it. I do love my hair. I haven't been able to say that in a long time. Naturally me so I cannot complain. No natural hair woes this week.

I Feel Like Drowning

Ever have a dream that you're drowning? I had one a couple of nights ago. Well, I've actually been having this particular dream for weeks. One important part was only revealed to me a couple of nights ago. I was in the middle of a body of water drowning. I could actually feel myself flailing around and hear myself screaming for help. There was a person on a boat not to far from me. This person could clearly see & hear me. But, made no effort to come towards me. I was taking in water. I kept slipping under the surface. I was frightened. I just knew I was going to drown, which is a huge fear of mine. The person on the boat is someone I love. But, the person on the boat would not save me.

Drowning (via Dreammoods):To dream that you are drowning indicates that you are feeling overwhelmed by emotions. Repressed issues may be coming back to haunt you. You may be proceeding too quickly in trying to discover your subconscious thoughts. You should proceed more cautiously and slowly. If you drown to death, then is refers to an emotional rebirth. If your survive the drowning, then it means that a waking relationship or situation will ultimately survive the turmoil.

And, in my dream, I heard a voice say "Stand up, child." It calmed me down. I found my footing and stood up. I realized that the water isn't that deep. I was doing it to myself. The person in the boat kept calling my name & beckoning me towards the boat. I turned around & walked in the other direction. Then, I woke up. I got it. I feel like God has been trying to tell me something all along. I finally got the message. I was drowning & waiting on the person I love to save me. That wasn't a part of the plan. I had to do it myself. No man/woman could ever be my savior. Message received.

It's Here!! Jay Z's "Magna Carta Holy Grail"

If you've been reading this blog then you already know that I am a certified Jay Z fan. I've written about him numerous times. Like here, here, here or here just to link a few. Anytime he releases new music, I am always hyped for it. The release of his 13th solo cd "Magna Carta Holy Grail" was an unprecedented event. There was no first single. The first inkling we were given was a commercial announcement during the NBA Finals. It was released exclusively on the Samsung Galaxy 3/4 and Note via an MCHG app on July 4th. Before the release, lyrics were released on the app. So, fans knew the words to songs before ever hearing it. All of this was a part of Jay's new rules movement. The rollout was not without kinks. The app crashed moments after it went live. But, finally folks were able to get it. The cd was released today, July 9th. It was platinum before the release due to Samsung buying a million copies upfront and the RIAA changing its rules. 

"America tries to emasculate the greats

Murdered Malcolm

Gave Cassius the shakes.

Wait.

Tell em rumble young man rumble

Try to dim ya light 

Tell you to be humble." - Jay Z "FUTW"

So, this entire experience was different. I was listening to this project with new ears. I was hungry for some new Jay music. I sat quiet and alone and just heard the music. Some songs pulledme in for the beats first. But, as usual, most got me fot the lyrics. Jay has a dope keen ear for beats. MCHG is no different. Every beat is perfection. I really don't have to discuss his lyrics because that is his best attribute as a rapper. He knows exactly what to say and how to say it. That has not changed. He flows differently on a few songs. But, still manages to stay uniquely himself. Overall, I am def digging this. It's exactly what I wanted from my favorite rapper. I break down song-by-song how I feel below. One thing is glaringly apparent: Shawn Corey Carter is loving being a father to Blue Ivy. You can tell that her birth has changed him. MCHG is a grown up rap album. The children won't get it. And, that's quite ok. If you're an old fan, this is for you. If you are a new fan, this is for you. If you don't like Jay, then none of this matters. Get into Jay Z's new cd, "Magna Carta Holy Grail."

• "Holy Grail" ft. Justin Timberlake - Opening track has JT singing for his life and killing it. I love everything about this. Lyrics, beat and production are married perfectly.
• "Picasso Baby" - The line "lean on it Blue, you own" made me lol. Witty word play by the God MC, Hov is evident here. Dope track. 
• "Tom Ford" - First, the bounce on this is STUPID! I can def see this being a club banger. Jay floats all over this. His flow is ridiculous hear. Also, loved hearing Bey singing greasy at the end of this track. 
• "F*ckwithmeyouknowIgotit" ft. Rick Ross - I hate to admit how much I dig this track but only because I'm not a Ross fan. Besides that, it is flawless. 
• "Oceans" ft Frank Ocean - One of my faves for the hook along. I love the subject matter and the collabo of Jay and Frank. 
• "FUTW" - This is a contender for my favorite song on MCHG. I just really enjoy it. It's the song I replay the most. Classic Jay.
• "Somewhereinamerica" - Jay raps the word twerk. Ratchet Mr. Carter, I can dig it. This got a lot of play on the 4th. 
• "Crown" - I was instantly pulled into this song from the first second. Jay speaking about his life. The fact that this was produced by a 16 y/o Black girl makes me love it even more.
• "Heaven" - The lyrics of this song are my favorite. The chorus is dope. Jay pours his heart out here. 

"Arm, leg, leg, arm, head - this is God body

Knowledge, wisdom, freedom, understanding - we just want our equality

Food, clothing, shelter - help a n***a find some peace

Happiness for a gangsta, ain't no love in the streets

Conspiracy theorist screaming Illuminati

They can't believe this much skill is in the human body

He's 6'2, how the fuck he fit in a new Bugatti?

Aw fuck it you got me

Question religion, question it all

Question existence until them questions are solved." (Jay Z "Heaven")

• "Versus" - It's an interlude that could've, should've been a full song. Great beat. 
• "Part II (On The Run)" ft. Beyonce' - The Carters on a track together will forever always be greatness. This is no different. Love their love. This is a follow up to "'03 Bonnie & Clyde" which is classic to me. 
• "Beach Is Better" - Why isn't this a full song? Why? It's Jay bragging about his wife. "I brought sand to the beach because my beach is better." Love their love and collabos.
• "BBC" ft. Beyonce', Pharrell, Nas, Swizz, Timbaland - My least favorite track. It's too many features. I HATE when Swizz talks all over a track. His voice annoys me. So it was an instant turn off. The actual lyrics and beat are cool though.
• "Jay Z Blue" - This is the most vulnerable song on MCHG. It's Jay's ode to his daughter Blue Ivy. He speaks on his fears of not being a good dad. Love vulnerable Jay.
• "La Familia" - This reminds me of "Hola Hovito" because of the Spanish connection. The chorus has been stuck in my head. And, I am not complaining about it. Dope track.
• "Nickels and Dimes" - The ending of MCHG. It is fitting. And, deep. You just have to listen to it. Mr. Double Entendre. He is everything to me. 

"Ask Bun B about me
This ain't no snap back, a n***a's been trill
By the way, fuck your math
You ain't gotta count it my n***a I can add."

- Jay Z "Somewhereinamerica"

It's Just July

° Jay-Z heard my cry from last month's random thoughts. He released new music!! His "Magna Carta Holy Grail" is here. And, I couldn't be more excited. It is awesomeness in a song. It's lyrically superb to almost every big Hip-Hop release this year. It's some of Jay's best work. He gave me everything I needed here. It features Beyonce', Pharrell, Timbaland, Swizz Beats, Justin Timberlake and Rick Ross. It's just extremely good. Get into it. 

° There is nothing like peace. Mine has been uneasy for a while now. But, I've decided that just won't do. Peace be still indeed. I've allowed to many outside factors to affect what's inside of me. And, the reality is that is dumb. No one cares about my peace and happiness as much as I do. I cannot expect no one else to give it to me. Anyone who is standing in my way is in for an awakening. I'm simply not doing that anymore.   

° BET showed a documentary entitled "Imagine A Future." It was about a dark skinned Black girl and her plight with her skin tone. She travelled to Africa to learn some history. It was very informative. It was also backed by Beverly Bond and her "Black Girls Rock" foundation. It was worlds better than OWN's "Dark Girls" documentary. 

° I'm going to be a Teedy again for the 9th time. It's a girl. I cannot wait to meet her. I know she is going to be gorgeous. And, we will love up on her just like the rest. I do love babies. They seem like heaven. Well, until they poop or spit up. But, you know what I mean. Babies are awesome and I love them. 

° This past week, I did something I haven't done in years. I went to visit my Dad. That probably wouldn't mean much to many but my Dad died in 1998. I hate cemetaries. But, I needed to go. I sat at his grave and just talked to him. I cried a lot. It was spiritually cleansing. I don't think that I'll need to go back again. 

° The Trayvon Martin-George Zimmerman trial is a headache to keep up with. I do it because it's important to me. I have no patience or tolerance for anyone who wants to blame the weaponless teenager for his own deal. If you are one of those people, you couldn't be in my circle. I will not tolerate that level of ignorance. The defense attorneys are annoying. I also hate how stoic and unaffected Zimmerman seems to be about killing a kid. No remorse at all it seems. Ugh. I truly hate his face. I cannot wait for it to be over.  

° Was gifted some new natural hair products. I am loving all of them. Will have to blog about them soon. I do love free things. And, any product that helps me on my natural hair journey, I am with it. 

° Things are changing. I am not exactly sure if I'm comfortable with it. But, I'm in it. Change is inevitable. I know I need to grow. I just want to be better alreadyy. It's the thing I want the most. I've been wishing for something to happen for a while now. I finally get it. God could be telling me no because it isn't for me. That's a huge truth to accept. That what you thought was yours won't ever be again. But, it is what it is. I cannot continue to fight whatever my fate is. I'm open to it. 

Get Into It: "Being Mary Jane"

BET is bringing new programming to the screen. The latest show is "Being Mary Jane" starring Gabrielle Union, Omari Hardwick, and Raven Goodwin. It premiered as a movie earlier this week. It will be back as a series in January 2014. Mary Jane Paul is a successful woman, a TV anchor, and the bank for her family. She has it all but not really. She has a gorgeous house, a reat career and a loving family. What she is missing is a love of her own and a family of her own. She has a sick mother, a brother with no ambition but a huge family, a brother attending college and a niece who keeps popping out babies. Everyone depends on her, especially finacially. MJ is a woman on the verge of breaking. I can see it. 

The character of MJ is relatable on so many levels. I know for a fact that a lot of my friends identify with her. And, it has more to do with her being Black. She, like Kerry Washington's Olivia Pope, is a flawed character. I love that the most about her. I can admit that I did not have high hopes for the show. I am admittedly not a fan of Gabrielle Union.  She has been a very limited actress in the past. I put her in the same category as Janet. Neither of them show any emotion or range in their face when acting. So, I pushed that to the side and jumped into the show. 20 minutes into, I was hooked. The movie was really good. I was happy to see the handsomeness that is Omari Hardwick. I am a fan of his. So, the possibility of seeing him on my screen weekly is enough for me to tune in. The ending left me wanting more which was the point. The series will be picking up where the movie left off. I cannot wait to see where this story goes. Get into it, "Being Mary Jane."

Ladies Love Lyrics: Anthony Hamilton's "I'm A Mess"

This song truly explains my mind frame for the last 5 months. I'm truly a mess right now. I've avoided listening to it for months. But, I can't avoid the truth. I am the epitome of this song. I have to admit that. My head and heart are a complete and total mess. "Love is a muthafucka." ("love jones" quote). So, Im sure I'll regret this post as well. Whatever. It is what it is. Take a listen to my life on wax with Mr. Hamilton.


"I'm so torn up now can't believe I lost you
Lost my best friend my soul mate
can't believe it's true
We've invested in a set of twins a small house
and the dog cried out
Knew I was suffering
he was chained to my pain.
Me and you were meant to last forever 
And empty walls can't hold this house together
We were born to live and die together
And now ya gone and I'm so alone
Baby come on home

 [Chorus]
You could have called
you could have wrote
you could tried
I rather you slit me cross the throat
so I can die
 Instead of leaving no
explanation as to why
You don't want me no more
You don't want me no more.

I'm a mess right now
I can't eat can't sleep
Bills are piling high
ain't worked in three weeks
Ain't bathed can't shave cause
my heart is so tender
like living in a blender
I'm shaken and I'm stirred
You and me were meant to last forever 
And empty walls can't hold this house together
We were meant to lie and die together 
And now you're gone and I'm so alone 
Baby come on home..."

July: A Musical Interlude

Hi! It's Monday, July 1st. And, today I needed music in a bad way. I just needed to use it to get out of my own head. Too many thoughts and they were far too negative. So, I bowed out. I decided to just let music do what it does: mellow me out. And, like always, it worked wonders. So, I thought I would share a few of the songs that made the cut. Vibe with me. Thank me later, no Drake :p

This Week Has Been Too Much.

It began with the George Zimmerman murder trial. For those living under a rock, he is obtrial for killing an unarmed 17 year old Trayvon Martin. It began with, of all things, a knock knock joke. Seriously. I’m sorry America but is a black child being murdered funny? It’s not. And no one laughed at that bullshit. The trial has been on one all week. I try not to say I hate people but Zimmerman & his defense team have made my list this week.

As has the Supreme Court. Knocking down part of the Voting Rights Act one day and standing up for DOMA the next. It’s like one step forward and ten steps back. I’m sorry but racism is still alive and thriving in these United States. I’ve literally been pissed all week.

Then, the great state of Texas decided to show its natural ass. Sen. Wendy Davis had to stand on her feet for almost 13 hours to stop a bill that would close all but 2 abortion clinics in the state. The other male senators were rude & talked over her. Then they tried to lie to pass the bill. Once it was recorded that the bill couldn’t pass, Rick Perry has called for a second vote. I really wish folks without reproductive organs would stop trying to legislate it. Just sit down and shut up.

I’m a politics buff. I love it. But, this week has knocked a lot of that love out of me. I’m really just disgusted with almost everything this week has been. It’s been too much. It’s been one of those wide eye weeks. We have pay attention and get involved. Especially women and minorities. If not, the old days will make a swift return. Just get into the people governing your state.

Oh, and to top it off, my favorite NBA team just broke down the squad. The coach, Doc Rivers, is now coaching the Clippers. And, my favorite player Kevin Garnett as well as Paul Pierce have been traded to the Nets. I'm sick. Ugh.

Go home, this week. You're drunk!!

E-very-thing

In the midst of a very odd week, this gif sums it up. I am the sum of all my triumphs and all my failures. Every single thing I've done in my life has made me me. I have to be ok with it all. Feeling the full spectrum of emotions this week for reasons. I get so caught up in what I haven't accomplished or what I can't have that I forget to be thankful for all I do. It's so easy to be hard on myself. It's something I'm trying to shake off. So, what did I do? I sat down and did what I do best: wrote myself a letter. I wrote to myself about my good qualities and what I think I deserve. It instantly made me feel better and more calm about what will come. So, I challenge any of you having a bad dayto do the same. You are all beautiful in your own way. You have a gift unique to you. We all have a place and purpose in this life. So, no matter what has happened, how many times you've failed, who left, who doesn't get you, you are needed, wanted, loved. I say this to you because I had to say it to myself. Sometimes we need to be our own cheerleader. And, in the words of Mr. West, 

"Everything saying what's not for him 

Everything I'm not made me everything. 

Damn here we go again. 

People talk shit but when shit hits the fan. 

Everything I'm not made me everything I am."  

Food Network To Paula: Bye Y'all!

Earlier this week, Food Network's darling Paula Deen stepped in it. She is currently being sued by a former employee and the transcripts have been released. You can see them here , all 150 pages of it. Deen insists that she has used the N word on more than one occasion. I didn't even blink any eye at that. It's the instances she uses it that bothered me. This article details the whole Deen ordeal. Also, Twitter had a field day at Deen's expense for the last three days. Searching #PaulaDeenDishes or #PaulaDeenTVShows or #PaulaDeenBestDishes and you are in for a little entertainment. The whole ordeal has taken on a life of it's own. But, let's be clear Deen will be just fine. She's rich. She survive the backlash. 

Food Network took swift action by dropping Deen. I truly don't care about her show since I never watched it. And, I watch a lot of Food Networks. Her show was never one I got into. Her style of cooking is not my fave nor is her overly exagerrated Southern drawl. Scrolling the Food Network Facebook page, I was astounded by white people. They are upset with the network for firing Paula. The more I read, all I could do was shake my head at the ignorance. White people, your racism is showing all over the internet. This is why I laugh when folks claim that we are living in a post racial America because we have a Black President. Post racial? Get the hell on with that nonsense. With both the election and the re-election of President Obama, racism has reared its ugly head. The fact that folks are upset that Deen was fired is amazing. I am NOT surprised that she is a racist. Not one bit. I'm more surprised when people aren't.  I am not even offended that she used the N word. What I am pissed about is the way she used it, the fact that she saw nothing wrong with her actions and that bs apology video. 

Do you see the above photo? That is a direct quote from her. Who in the holy hell thinks this is ok? She wanted slaves for this wedding. She wanted Black people to step and fetch it for her. That is not ok. As a matter of fact it is disgusting. Anyone who thinks this is ok is a horrible person as well. Back then, my people didn't have a choice nor were they paid. They were slaves, owned by white men. They were less than people. Treated worse than animals. That is what truly gets me. So, kudos to Food Network for having the balls to drop an earner. And, to you, Ms. Deen, you can take your backward thinking non-apology and stick it in your butter. Bye y'all!

Around These E-Streets (VIII)

° Jay-Z made a huge announcement less than a week ago. It came in the form of this Samsung commercial. This Billboard article gets it all wrong in my eyes. Anyway, I am uber excited about Magna Carta Holy Grail. It drops (for Samsung customers) on July 4th, and the rest of the world on the 7th. #newrules

° The jury is set for the murder trial of George Zimmerman. I am not happy with it. CNN reports on the very homogenous, all female jury. It seems odd that in the entire state of Florida not one Black person was picked for the jury. If this racist, child murdering idiot gets off, I will be beyond pissed. 

° The Miami Heat won their 2nd NBA Championship Thursday night. Games 6 & 7 were amazing. Great series and an even better win for the Heat. Congrats to them! It also marks the end of the David Stern NBA Commissioner. I cannot say I;m sorry to see him go. 

° I am disgusted after reading this article about Bank of America's practces. They rewarded employees for every 10 houses they foreclosed on. What?!? Are you serious?? 

°Breast Cancer Awareness is a big issue to me. So, immagine my outrage when I read the Susan G. Komen Foundation was cancelling half of their 3 day races for the cure. Then, I read this article about the CEO and got pissed. Donations are down and the CEO got a raise? Why? 

° I am always on the look out for any information on healthy natural hair care. I found a great article over on Clutch's site. It's about the baggy method. It helps with sealing in moisture on your hair. With it officially being summer here, I needed to read this. Will be trying it our during my next cowash.

° Kids are ridiculously honest. It's one of the things I appreciate about the little ones. And, no where is it more apparent than this review of "Yeezus" by 6 year old Jake. Accurately on point to. Especailly his last questions. "So he's rich? And he's famous? And he can buy whatever he wants? Then why is he so angry?" Why indeed Jake.

° If you know me then you know I'm a Drake fan. Have been since his second mixtape. This month, he covers GQ with the title "How To Drake It In America." Great read. Cannot wait until "Nothing Was The Same" drops.

° Paula Deen got dropped by Food Network for giving a non-apoolgy and for being a ridiculous racist. I have no words. Just read this. 

° Great article on the change going on in the music business. It takes a look at the leak of Yeezus and the new Jay-Z project. Dope article. 

° North West. Nope, not the direction on a compass or a map. The spawn of Kanye and Kim. Celebrities are dumb. The End. 

Dear Summer

It's officially summer!! Today the sun is shining bright here. It's sunny and hot and I couldn't be happier. I woke up in a bad mood and decided in the shower that it wasn't going to last all day. So, I shook it off. Courtesy of some of my favorite summer themed songs. Played loudly of course. It did wonders to improve my mood. And, then I went to my favorite snowball place for my first of the season. It was awesome. Happy summer solstice. Enjoy!

Born Sinner Better Talks A Good Game

New  music is flowing this week. J. Cole drops his sophomore cd "Born Sinner." I am totally here for it. It's a return to mixtape Jermaine. It is better than his debut to me. I can vibe to the entire project which is important to me. There are standout tracks like "Crooked Smile" which features TLC and "Villuminati." It flows like a complete work of art. I have always loved J. Cole's lyricism and he delivers here. It's not a lot of new rappers I rock with. Cole is one of the few (and also Wale who drops next week). I was pleasantly surprised to hear this one. It's really good. It's the project that is getting the most play this week. If you are a fan, this is a great purchase. 

Now, let's get into a few new R&B releases. Kelly Rowland released her "Talk A Good Game" yesterday as well. I can honestly say I wasn't impressed with her singles. None of them. But, the release of "Dirty Laundry" got my attention. That one song piqued my interest. I listened to TAGG with open ears. My conclusion: there is always something missing from Kelly's cd's. There is never really a dope standout track. Most of the songs are forgettable. I do not know what the problem is. Kelly can sing her butt off but her material is always lacking. She never releases a project that I can rock with from beginning to end. I really want Kelly to win but this isn't going to get it. Anyway, there are a few songs that I like. You may as well. 

Finally, we get new music from Chrisette Michele. I LOVE this woman's voice. Love it. Her lead single "A Couple Of Forevers" is my current favorite song. Those lyrics are everything to me. Chrisette's music is something I always look forward too. I love that this project has a lot of tracks. It isn't a short cd at all. I lost track of time listening to this. There is something very jazzy about her voice. I've never seen her in concert but it is on my to do list. "Better" is one of my new favorite cd's. I loved everything about it. Music will always have a special place in my heart and in my life. When nothing else is going my way, music helps me. Hopefully, it helps you as well. Get into the newness. 

And It Came To Me Like An Epiphany

An epiphany is an experience of sudden and striking realization. Last night, I had a moment. It was what I call a lightbulb moment. I had an epiphany. I cried for a while. I realized something very truthful that I've been fooling myself about. It is amazing the way we deny things to ourselves. I know that it is a defense mechanism. There is nothing I can do about another's actions, words or thoughts. But, I can control how I react to them. I've spent most of this year NOT dealing with a huge issue. I was blindsided by it and I retreated from it. I didn't want to deal because then it would be real. The reality is that situation persists regardless of my actions. I've allowed it to alter me, my thoughts, my words, the way I live my life. That isn't right at all nor is it me. I've allowed this other version of me to exist in this space. The emotional, calm side of me. Which, quite frankly, is bullshit. I need to acknowledge my feelings. I am incredibly angry about it and ridiculously sad. And, those are two emotions that do not need to exist in one person at the same time. It's exhausting because I am fighting myself for reasons unknown. I am over it. 

I try to protect myself from the world. I do a very good job at it. I know that no one else will do it for me. I've learned the hard way that the only person I can truly depend on 24/7 is myself. That's not harsh or sad, it's just reality. I am the only one always looking out for my best interests. And, that is more than ok. I had to go through the breakup of relationships and the fracturing of friendships to learn it. I needed to experience the bad to know the good when I have it. 2013 has not been a good year thus far. That's my reality. The only thing I want is for it not to end the same way. I have to find the right avenue for me to pursue. I was truly enlightened about my life, who I am and who I need to become. I do not know exactly what I am doing noe or where I am going. But, I know that I cannot continue to be this version of myself. That is over. This epiphany was deep. I literally laid in bed for hours weeping (also, didn't help that I was listening to Yeezus). I know that I do not know where I am headed but I am excited to get there.