And, One More Random Thing...

• The hot button topic on Twitter this week has been street harassment. It made me remember some moments I always push away. There is no greater fear than the one that accompanies being accosted by a strange man on the street. I've learned to be nice but firm with my "no" replies. I shouldn't fear for my life when turning down a guy. Nor should it be a given that a strange man has the right to hold up my progression in the middle of the street or have some man I do not know touch me. But, all of that has happened to me. I've had men berate me for not stopping to talk or saying no. I've had men refuse to get out of my way until I gave them my "phone number." None of this is ok. It's barbaric and rude and reeks of male privilege. It sickens me. Nothing scares me more than a group of men on the street. Doesn't matter what race they are, they all give me moments of anxiety. I wish more people (read: men) would hear our (read:women) stories and take it seriously. Just two weeks ago, two different women were killed for turning down men on the street. Where is the righteousness in that? Men (yeah yeah, not all men), do better por favor. If a woman turns you down, take that "L," respect that curve and move on. That's it.
• The older I get, the more conscious I am about my Blackness. I do not want to live in a world where people don't see color. I am a Black woman. Both of those are important to me. The more I hear about and read about feminism, the more I am drawn to womanism. White feminists have not been inclusive of Black women from the beginning. It disgusts me to be honest. Alice Walker coined the term "womanism" as a place for Black feminists. It's hard to not see color when the color of my skin is seen as a negative in so many circles. I love being Black and I love Black people. 
• It's been 82 days since Darren Wilson shot and killed Mike Brown. He is still on a "paid vacation." There have been 2 other police involved killings in the St. Louis area (Kajieme Powell and VonDerritt Myers) since then. There have been no arrest. There has been no justice. This pisses me off. Black lives matter. 
• Sometimes I ask questions I shouldn't. But, I've always been a curious person. I have a thirst for knowledge. I need to know things, even if they may hurt me. If I do not question everything, I won't know anything. And, that doesn't work for me. 
• I may be slightly addicted to lipsticks now. I've purchased about 6 in the last 3 weeks. I love them all. I think it makes me look grown up. And, seeing that 35 is fast approaching, that may be a good thing.
• The inside of my left ankle is swollen. I do not know how this occurred. It's weird because I don't remember hitting it. It doesn't hurt though so I guess that's a good thing.
• I am working on bettering myself. In doing so, I realize I need to work on my facial expressions. I have this habit of letting my face speak for me. It's not a god thing, especially when I am not happy about certain things. I am a work in progress.
• Danity Kane's last cd "DK3" was released this week. I've been bumping it all week. I really like it. I've been a fan since "Making the Band." Dawn has always been my favorite. Her voice reminds me of Brandy's. 

Who's Angry?!

Three words have never irritated me more than the "Angry Black Woman" title. It is the stupidest stereotype because all humans get angry. All of us. Most of the time I am NOT angry. You know what makes me angry? Someone constantly telling me that I am angry. Or constantly be bombarded with the notion that ALL Black women are angry. If I am assertive or strong or I stand up for myself, I am all of a sudden angry. What simpleton decided that ALL Black women were angry? An idiot for sure. The United States is a hotbed for racial inequality right now. As a Black woman who was born and raised here, I feel like my Blackness is being attacked constantly. It's not often we as Black people see ourselves depicted in a good light on television or on the big screen. It's one of the main reasons I am a Shonda Rhimes fan. Those three little words sparked a public outcry on Twitter yesterday when the NY Times erroneously posted an article that read:

When Shonda Rhimes writes her autobiography," Stanley begins, "it should be called How to Get Away With Being an Angry Black Woman."

Rhimes' Twitter response was golden. And, guess what it wasn't? ANGRY. She seemed more appalled than anything. And, the fact that her new show "How To Get Away With Murder" was created by a white man made the author of that ridiculous article seem even more incompetent. I loved her response as well as those of some of the actors who work for her, especially Kerry's, Viola's and Josh's. I did not see one positive tweet about the article. Everyone felt that dig. After reading that lede, I was not inclined to read the rest. It rubbed me the wrong way. There is a way to offer praise. The article did not do that. It was a backhanded compliment filled piece that no one could feel complemented by. There was no happiness felt while reading it. 

Then, something miraculous happened. Black women started a Twitter hashtag movement. #IWasAnAngryBlackWomanWhen was born. The tweets were mostly sarcastic in nature in response to the article. The crazy thing is I didn't get angry when I read it. I was offended as was every Black woman and anyone who is a fan of the brilliance that is Shonda Rhimes. She is a visionary and a major success story. Her Shondaland Productions owns ABC's Thursday night slots. She is the only Black woman to head a company that has not one, not two but three primetime shows on tv right now. Two of those shows are helmed by Black women. All three shows have casts that are more racially diverse than any other shows or networks. Rhimes should be praised for having the golden touch. 

The NY Times seems to have forgotten that. Thankfully, other credible publications did not follow that lead. Slate, Vox, CNN, and Variety all took a different and better standpoint. The lede of the NY Times piece (which I refuse to link to) was wrong, stereotypical and awful. The author stated that the article was meant to praise Rhimes. But, you do not insult a person's entire being then follow it with shallow compliments. Do. Not. Want. Return To Sender. What the author and the paper should do is print a retraction, apologize for being racist, stereotypical pigs and never do it again. But, they won't. And, in all honesty, Shonda Rhimes doesn't need them to. She will continue to slay Thursday nights as she has for years. Because she is a genius and her shows are amazing. Winning is the best revenge. Make sure you are tuned in at 7pm central on Thursday, September 25, 2014 for the return of "Grey's Anatomy," and "Scandal," and also the introduction of "How To Get Away With Murder."

The Year Folks Lost Their Minds

2013 was the year of absolute nonsense. It was also the year white people said to hell with being politically correct about anything ever. There was an abundance of things that just reeked of pure racism this year. The main thing that comes to mind is Trayvon Martin's killer (I no longer write/say his name) being found not guilty. That was the moment when I truly became disillusioned with the U.S. justice system. Tryavon was racially profiled, hunted and killed as if he wasn't a young guy. And, a jury let his killer walk free. Since then, his killer has been in the news continually for speeding and domestic violence. I mean, who would've guessed that the wannabe cop turned murderer would have anger issues? *rolling eyes* Things did not get any better. We are days away from a brand new year and Twitter is showing us how stupid people are in general.

I love Twitter/Tumblr/Facebook but I know how to use it. I don't post all of my business all over them. Some folks have yet to realize that this is the catch 22 that is social media. If you are less than smart, racist, homophobic, or politically incorrect, any social media will give you the platform to promote that crap. In the past two weeks, I have witnesses two different PR's tweet the dumbest things. They both were White women who were then dragged all over the Internet. They consequently lost their jobs as they should have. The tweets are above so you can see it for yourselves. I was truly shocked by the Justine Sacco tweet. People are truly uninformed and ok with that. My thirst for knowledge doesn't allow me to be ok with only knowing a little. Add, Phil "Blacks were happy, singing in the cotton fields" Robinson from "Duck Dynasty," Megyn "Santa Claus is a White man" Kelly from FOX News, and no list would be complete without Sarah "I can see Russia from my house" Palin. Clearly, these people were all left behind. Their views are skewed, narrow, myopic and most importantly, dead wrong. 

This was the year that they applauded Miley Cyrus' dismal attempt at twerking. It was awful. So, let's clear this up, what Miley was attempting to do was something one has to have a butt for. She does not so she does not qualify. There is nothing authentic about Miley's new demeanor. It seems forced and feels contrite and a pale version of Black culture. Another ridiculous way of appropriating Black culture. And, the sad thing is, the girl can actually sing. But, I am not here for her antics and gimmicks. I'd like her to go away. She can take Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber with her too, por favor. None of these things were funny, sexy, cute or right. This was a year long episode of white people gone way wrong. And, I, for one, hope that 2014 ends this trend. Leave this level of stupidity in this year. I beg of you.  

Food Network To Paula: Bye Y'all!

Earlier this week, Food Network's darling Paula Deen stepped in it. She is currently being sued by a former employee and the transcripts have been released. You can see them here , all 150 pages of it. Deen insists that she has used the N word on more than one occasion. I didn't even blink any eye at that. It's the instances she uses it that bothered me. This article details the whole Deen ordeal. Also, Twitter had a field day at Deen's expense for the last three days. Searching #PaulaDeenDishes or #PaulaDeenTVShows or #PaulaDeenBestDishes and you are in for a little entertainment. The whole ordeal has taken on a life of it's own. But, let's be clear Deen will be just fine. She's rich. She survive the backlash. 

Food Network took swift action by dropping Deen. I truly don't care about her show since I never watched it. And, I watch a lot of Food Networks. Her show was never one I got into. Her style of cooking is not my fave nor is her overly exagerrated Southern drawl. Scrolling the Food Network Facebook page, I was astounded by white people. They are upset with the network for firing Paula. The more I read, all I could do was shake my head at the ignorance. White people, your racism is showing all over the internet. This is why I laugh when folks claim that we are living in a post racial America because we have a Black President. Post racial? Get the hell on with that nonsense. With both the election and the re-election of President Obama, racism has reared its ugly head. The fact that folks are upset that Deen was fired is amazing. I am NOT surprised that she is a racist. Not one bit. I'm more surprised when people aren't.  I am not even offended that she used the N word. What I am pissed about is the way she used it, the fact that she saw nothing wrong with her actions and that bs apology video. 

Do you see the above photo? That is a direct quote from her. Who in the holy hell thinks this is ok? She wanted slaves for this wedding. She wanted Black people to step and fetch it for her. That is not ok. As a matter of fact it is disgusting. Anyone who thinks this is ok is a horrible person as well. Back then, my people didn't have a choice nor were they paid. They were slaves, owned by white men. They were less than people. Treated worse than animals. That is what truly gets me. So, kudos to Food Network for having the balls to drop an earner. And, to you, Ms. Deen, you can take your backward thinking non-apology and stick it in your butter. Bye y'all!

Rant: Really Woman?

I am never shocked by the stupidity of people in general. But sometimes, people can catch me off guard. Such was the case yesterday on Twitter. The series of tweets pictured above threw me for a loop. In what world does a man carrying his child's diaper bag make him less than a man? That has to be one of the stupidest things a person has ever tweeted. This woman defended these claims for hours. It's also imperative to state that this woman is single and childless as well as a conservative Republican. A quick scan of her time line shows many reasons for her current predicament.

But, back to the issue at hand, men & diaper bags. A man who loves and takes care of his child is a beautiful thing. There is nothing emasculating about a man carrying a diaper bag. How any sensible, thinking person comes to this conclusion is beyond my realm of comprehension. I don't know what delusion world this chick lives in but it is not the same one that I do. I could go on and on but I'm sure you all get it. Men,father your kids so they don't grow up this misinformed. People are dumb. The end. Oh, yeah someone complied the whole ordeal on Chirpstory. You guys can check it out here if you have the time. I'm sorry but some Conservative Republicans are dumb as hell. There is no other way to describe them. I'm still under the weather & writing this is taking so much out of me. There aren't enough cold meds in the world to make this ok. I have a fever. So, I'm done. Do better, America!

This is Insane!

The old saying goes that you don't poke a sleeping bear. That was the first thing that came to my mind when I read the Twitter feud between Chris Brown and a virtually unknown to me comedic writer named Jenny Johnson. This post is not about Brown's character or his domestic violence past. I am not hear to discuss all of that. However, I will say that no man should put his hands on no woman. I do not support that at all. Because if a man ever gets the misguided notion to raise his hands to me, it will not end well. I will not stand for that. Ever. Now, that I've gotten that out of the way, let's discuss. Johnson has been poking Brown for years on Twitter. I've read so many tweets that Brown should just brush it off. That as a celeb, he should have tougher skin. I disagree. He is human first and foremost. Someone say awful things to you constantly would get to any one. That is the reality.

What happened next was vile. Brown reacted to her tweets. He was disrespectful and gross and rude. Johnson was rude, ignorant and got the response that she clearly has been pushing for. They are both wrong. She is too old to be bullying a kid. Yes, he is a kid under her. She has to know better. I took a look at her Twitter feed. For a comedic writer, she isn't funny in the least. Not one tweet made me giggle. She seems to be very mean spirited and unhappy in general. Brown knows that all eyes are on him. There are certain folks who are just waiting for him to screw up again. He keeps falling into the trap. He keeps doing exactly what he doesn't need to. He was punished for his crime. His victim has clearly forgiven him. It is not up to the public to persecute him. But, many still do. We, as a people, are wholly too judgmental.

It bothers me to think that if this comedic writer was a Black woman, the mainstream media would not have been so quick to defend her. Jenny Johnson is NOT the victim here. For over 2 years, she bullied Brown, antagonized him. Almost daily, she had something negative to tweet to him. Her anger at him seems misplaced and out of line. She was not his victim. The bottom line is that both Johnson and Brown were wrong. Both were disrespectful. Both should walk away from Twitter. Brown deleted his Twitter. I think Johnson should follow suit. People go to far. Both of them did. It was really horrible to read. I cannot believe that this was an interaction between a guy in his early 20's and a woman who has to be in her late 40's. To quote Rihanna, "we have got to do better."

Let's Talk About: Twitter Topics

Twitter can be the gift and the curse. There are reasons why I love it. I love the interaction with different and/or like minded people from all over the world. I love the fact that I can get information on music, fashion and politics at a glance. One of the best things I've discovered via Twitter have been LowKey's site or My Fair Sweets. But, there is a sense of redundancy that can get irritating. I've talked about it before here, here and here. One thing that I've noticed is that the same topics get rehashed every few weeks. It's exhausting.

Those topics are as followed:

- $200 Dates
- $30,000 engagement ring
- twitter hypebeasts
- titles in relationship

Here's my take on the ridiculous list. I would never demand a man spend $200 on a first date or any date. That is insane. I think that a date can be great no matter the amount of money spent on it. Also, I'm not of the singular mind that a man is the only one who is supposed to pay for the date. Who decides what the appropriate amount of money to spend is? It's silly and it reeks of people who have never gone out on an actual date. Ok, in what average working American's mind is a $30,000 engagement ring feasible? That is in-damn-sane. $30,000??? What in the world? Yes, I am very much a girlie girl. Yes, I would love a nice engagement ring that fits my style. But, what ungrateful woman demands a price maximum on an engagement ring? I could never open my mouth and demand this of the man I love. That is right up there with demanding a proposal. I would never. Twitter has a way of hyping Hip Hop artists and their works. I still do not see the hype of Lil B, Wiz Khalifa, Kendrick Lamar, Rick Ross amongst others.

People on Twitter aren't into titles in relationships. I have never been that girl. If I'm with you, then I'm yours. I like structure and titles. In a relationship, I am your girlfriend, your woman, your girl, your better half. Claim me cause I am damn sure going to claim you. If not, we could just be friends. No benefits though. Just friends with a capitol F. I like things to look a certain way. I don't play games in relationships. Titles are needed by me. I like them. There are other issues that get rehashed. I filter/mute them out of my timeline so I don't have to see them. I don't engage in the talks. It just becomes to much at times. I'm also too old to be discussing some things online. I take Twitter for the entertainment that it is intended to be. Nothing more, nothing less. Twitter is just fun.

#30in30: The Explanaton

Twitter is one of my favorite social media sites because of the way it connects us to others. One of my favorite authors, Aliya S. King, utilizes her Twitter platform. She holds weekly sessions aptly called #AskAliya. She encourages her Twitter followers to ask any and all writing questions. I love how interactive she is with all of us. Last night, she challenged her followers. It's the #30in30 blogging challenge. The goal is to write a blog per day for a month. That is the only rule to the month long challenge. Sounds right up my creative alley. 

Writing has never been hard for me. It's essentially who I am. Writing for the world to see always hinders the process for me. As a writer, sharing your words is literally laying your heart bare for others to see. That takes courage. Writers, in that sense, have to have huge balls. This challenge is about me pushing myself to the next literary level. I write to sharpen my tool. I think a writer cannot get to the quality of their work without going through the quantity. Writing everyday helps hone my skills. I become a better writer by simply writing. My blog is my continuous conversation with the world. I am writing in abundance so that my written work matches all that I read. I'm developing my voice here in this space. 

For me, this won't be a challenge. I have been blogging every day all year. But, I've decided to participate anyway. I want to put a twist on my personal challenge though. I want to blog about different topics. I'm not sure exactly what I will blog about. But, I'm totally in this. It will be great. I also think it will be fun to read some new blogs via others who will be in the #30in30. For the next month, my challenge will be to diversify the scope of my blog. That is what I will focus on. Fingers crossed and prayers sent up for writing growth during this period. August 1st was the start date for the challenge. Now, we're off and rolling. I'm wishing myself good luck. 

When Stans Go Too Far (The Twitter Edition)

Twitter, like all social media sites, can be the gift and the curse. Beyoncé has some of the best fans. She has some of the worst stans though. For those who don't know, stans are the overly obsessive, compulsive fans. These are the people who give regular fans a bad name. Stans are awful because of their actions. They will "drag" people all for the love of their faves. This never ends well. It's gotten worse with the emergence and popularity of Twitter, Facebook and blogs. Beyoncé's stans went so far overboard on Twitter and Tumblr a few nights ago. What I saw happen was beyond disgusting. And, the end result was one of my favorite writers and follows on Twitter deleted her account. That made me angry and sad.

A few nights ago, I was being thoroughly entertained with the tweets of one dream hampton. The topic of conversation was her teenage daughter's summer reading list. She named a few books that I haven't read so I'm thankful for that. The next tweet was out of character for her. She asked how someone got a picture of her daughter. The same daughter she is fiercely protective of, that she only refers to as the "AD" (awesome daughter). I never knew her daughters name or her face. And, in all actuality, why should I? What ensued was a serious ridiculous look into the minds of young people. A Beyoncé stan tweeted a picture of Bey and AD with the comment "Ewww" in front of it. This was followed by "she (referring to AD) wasn't cute anyway." Other stans joined in with calling dream's daughter ugly. They also cursed dream put, told her to stop overreacting and called her heinous names.

These stans went out of their way to be rude and cruel to dream and AD. They were malicious and gross. They attacked a child. A child who has know Beyoncé for 10 years. A child Beyoncé sees as family. Do you guys see how delusional these stans are? Why would Beyoncé be proud of them? This whole ordeal cause dream to delete her account for good. Her daughters picture, which was posed on a private Facebook Page, has been all over the web. Her daughter was attacked and called ugly. What adult does that to a kid? Why would you? I was heartsick watching it. Some people need a good psychiatrist and Jesus. I was ashamed of them. They should be ashamed of themselves.

The situation is beyond unfortunate. It just shows how bold people can be when they are behind a computer screen. It's very easy to have balls then. I'm sure none of them would have said any of that to dream's face. I'm sorry her daughter had to endure such nastiness from people. Seems like the stans were just jealous that they won't ever be that up close and personal with their idol. Twitter can be the devil when you're dealing with evil people. And, in my book, you have to be evil to say bad things about a child. I'm still shaking my head over this. It's just a really sad situation. I'm sorry for dream. I'm sorry that this had to happen. People need to do better, much better. Grow up. There is nothing healthy about being a stan. Y'all do remember the Eminem song? Stans are mentally wack people. Think about that before you speak ill all supposedly in the name of the artist you love. I'm sure they don't love that.

Twitter Killed The Celebrity

I remember when I first heard of Twitter. I joined that same day. My first celebrity follow was Solange. I've never regretted that follow. I was already a fan. Twitter made me like her more. That's the way it is with Twitter. It can make you love a celebrity or hate them. It gives you so much access to them. Too much access is clearly a bad thing. I so long for the days when celebrities were an anomaly. I want those days back. I've decided to unfollow most celebs that I like I was order to save that feeling.

When I say that Twitter killed the celebrity, I mean their image. Before Twitter, I was a huge fan of Tyrese. Dude was gorgeous with his chocolate brown skin, inviting smile, and voice of an angel. I loved his music and his films. And, then I made the fatal mistake of following him. I realized that dude was an idiot who couldn't spell to save his life. Oh and he fancies himself a relationship guru. This would be fine if he was in successful relationship/marriage. But he isn't. I can no longer take him serious. So I had to unfollow him. He isn't the only one. There are the celebs who cannot spell or speak correct English or they retweet every compliment tweeted their way. It's beyond annoying and kind of narcissistic. Erykah Badu, Diddy, Jay Electronica, Toya Wright, and Keyshia Cole all fall into that category as well.

I love the interaction that Twitter allows. It's a great social media tool. But, like every thing else, it has its down falls. You gotta take the good with the bad. It takes a while to get a feel of who a celebrity really is. Twitter can also make you a fan of someone that you weren't before. I know I love Rihanna on Twitter. She is hilarious. She is a great follow. But, for some celebrities, Twitter will be their demise. It's inevitable. It will continue to be interesting to witness. Stay tuned.

Social Networks = Cheaters Paradise??

Social networks are supposed to be all fun and light. Somehow people missed that message. There are people who are letting Facebook and Twitter ruin their lives and relationships. Seriously? How dumb is that? A cheater is going to cheat. This is a fact. Social networks may have opened up a new avenue for them to explore. But you have to know that this was already in that person. I like social networks. I like interacting with and meeting new people.

There is nothing I've said on any social network that I wouldn't say in real life. Also I'm not ashamed of anything I've facebooked or tweeted. I have no problem with my significant other seeing any of it. I'm unapologetically me all the time. I'm a flirt. This is a known fact. But, when I'm in a relationship, I know when to pull back. I know what is appropriate and what isn't. There has to be a level of respect for oneself and their significant others. That is the most basic rule. If that is lacking, there will be nothing good that can happen. That goes for social networks as well as in real life.

My Facebook postings and/or tweets will not be a factor in my relationship. Neither will his. I respect him way too much for that. I think that the people who let social networks come in between their relationships were already on their way out of them. Facebook was just an easy out. If you're dating someone who has cheated on you before then you already know what you're gonna get. If you stay, aren't you getting what you asked for? I do not condone cheating (physical or emotional).



But, I also feel like cheating on your s/o with someone off of a social network is beyond low. Its despicable in my book. And the fallout is always horrible. To see a couple breakup via Facebook is awful because, they will spill all the beans. Now all of your friends know all of your business. That is never a good look. In the last year, I have seen this scene play out one too many times. I'm actually ashamed that I know these adults involved. People need to do better.

Social networks are a great way to reconnect with old friends and make new acquaintances. They are not there for folks to hook up and cheat. You have to be a special kind of person to fall into that category. I think its sad that something so awesome has been dragged into the mud with unscrupulous cheating people. Cheaters are just bad people who will have bad karma attached to them.

Get Into It: KING

They are KING. I am thankful for Twitter and following certain folks who put me up on this incredible group. One night about a month ago, Questo of The Roots gave them a co-sign as did Talib Kweli. So I followed the links to see what was up. I was intrigued. This group had just released their 3 song EP. It was $2.99 on Amazon. I bought it and listened as soon as the mp3 download was finished. I was a fan from the opening chords of "Hey." It's just feel good music to me."Hey" is my favorite. It puts me in the mind of Floetry. Erykah Badu is a huge fan of KING as well. These women have it. I love their harmonies, their voices, theri lyrics and music. I am so excited to hear what they release next. I have included their three songs. They are "Hey," "Supernatural," and "The Story." All three different but equally great. Get Into KING!!!

Interesting Information

* The “you are here” arrow on maps is called an "ideo locator."

* Four is the only number that has the same amount of letters as its actual value.

* When you french kiss someone, you both use all the muscles in your face!

* In New York it was once against the law to flirt. The penalty was $25 fine.

* Your brain is more active when you're sleeping.

* Singing keeps you healthy, exercises your heart and lungs, & releases endorphins that make you feel good!

* Monday is named after & pays tribute to the MOON. (Origin Moons-day).

* In 1907, Oklahoma became the last US state to declare Christmas a legal holiday.

* "Dysania" is the state of finding it hard to get out of bed in the morning.

* Every time you speak, you use 75 muscles within your body.

* A person takes over 23,000 breaths everyday.

* The twists ties on your bread have a meaning! The color of the tie indicates the day it was delivered.

~ via www.twitter.com/iTweetFacts