Tuesday, April 08, 2014

Back Down Memory Lane

When I saw this on Tumblr, it resonated with me instantly. This quote is incredibly true. Our memories have a way of hurting us. We, in general, have a habit of romanticizing history. Memories always seem greater, bigger, better than they actually were. I have a bad habit of strolling down memory lane. Reminiscing over what was is really not healthy. All it does is make me sad all over again. It is a horrible habit I haven't figured out how to shake just yet. There is a time and place for everything, even reminiscing. Memory lane IS a terrible place to visit if you are still in your feelings about the situation. Which is my current situation. I try my best not to go there but I cannot help it. I end up there way too frequently. It's a problem.

There are things that literally hurt to remember. They were good times that don't exist anymore. The ache of a moment can kill you. I try very hard to not visit memory lane. It takes me to a place I no longer reside. Memories are great when you are far removed from them and your feelings are no longer an issue. I am so not there yet. I want to be though. I pray for that deliverance daily. I'd like to not feel anything about a lot of things in my past. I no longer want to cry about things that have happened in my life. I want to be so far removed from those memories that I can smile and let it go. I can think about my Dad, who died almost 16 years ago, without crying. But, it took me years to get there. In general, I know that my  head and heart both work at their own pace. That quote about memory lane really stuck with me. I think I would be a better version of myself if I stopped visiting it. I cannot move forward if my head is always stuck on what was. This is more about keeping myself accountable. Memory lane is not a place one can reside. Focusing on the future great memories that I will make allows me a peace I cannot quantify. 

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