My Year in Review: Life

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” - Soren Kierkegaard

That quote personifies how I've felt about the past year. It's the end of the year & its always a time of reflection. 2010 was a pretty good year. Especially compared to the colossal downpour that 2009 was. I am hopeful looking ahead to 2011. That is the word that I'm using going forward.

Life has a funny way of giving you just what you need when you aren't even looking for it. This let's me know that God has an ill sense of humor. I spent most of 2009 being very introspective. I was trying to get down to the very essence of who I was. Beginning in 2010, I decided that I was ok. That I was lovable. Situations in 2008 made me doubt myself.

In 2010, I got myself back. I lost sight of who I truly was for a while. This year, I laughed more, stressed less, and made a conscious effort to just live life. I'm not exactly where I want to be yet. I feel like I'm well on my way there. I weeded out some bad friends and tightened my friendships with some great people. I'm writing more which is a great thing. I've found more ways to making my own happiness. That has been the key. I embarked on a personal religious journey to get a better, deeper understanding of the Bible. I've read books that are of a more varied genres.

Life has been quite extraordinary this year. I believe that it will get even better going forward. I am trying to turn myself from an often pessimist to a daily optimist. It's not easy but by changing the way I think, I will change the way I see things. Life in 2010 was one for the books. I have no doubt that 2011 will be as well.

My Year in Review: Family

Family for me can easily defined by blood and the people you surround yourself with. I love my family. No, we aren't perfect, but we always love. In the past year, my family has been a huge part of who I am.

I grew closer to my sisters this year. That was the best thing ever. My relationship with my brother changed. I strengthen my relationship with my cousins. I stayed out of the drama that family some time causes. I've learned that I do not have to engage in every family issue. I plan on continuing this in the future. I will fight for them when they need me to. I am here for support for all of them and vice versa. There is nothing better than that love.

At the end of the day, family is what really matters. No, we aren't perfect. And, I wouldn't change that or them. I love these people. They are the backbone to who I am. That is love.

My Year in Review: Love

"I am ready for love" - India.Aire

Love was the absolute last thing on my mind and in my heart at the beginning of the year. It was not even an option for me. I was working on me. I was finally over the last heartbreak when this year began. I was focused and it wasn't love. I didn't think I would be able to love again. Or that a man would love me again. Yes, I was down on everything related to love.

But, as the old saying goes, love finds you when you least expect it. That is clearly what happened to me. I woke up one day in love. Just like that. Simple but true. Ok, not that simple. I met a man who was basically the ying to my yang. From the beginning, we were fast friends. We bonded over music and poetry, two of my favorite things. There was light flirting between us. But he was dealing with a situation as was I. He was my friend. Life happened and we stopped talking for a while. And then just as quickly, he was back in my life.

This time was different. It was as if this was meant to be. It began slowly with texts and all night conversations. I had my friend back. I was beyond ecstatic about that. The flirting was at 100 this time around. We were actively pursuing each other. We had the best conversations about everything. His intellect matches mine. His sense of humor and quick wit were in line with my own. I was shocked at how much we had in common. He complements me and vice versa. He makes me think and laugh and blush. My voice becomes so light and sweet when I'm speaking to him. He just does something to me.

I started to fall for him. I was cautious though. I didn't wanna fall without knowing if he'd be there to catch me. He was under my skin and deep inside my heart. There aren't enough words for me to describe how I feel about him.This man's voice makes my heart smile. His laughter makes me happy. When my cell rings & it plays India.Aire's "The Truth" or Algebra Blesett's "At This Time," I light up because I know that its him calling. I've never been loved like this. This is something totally new. I think this is what poets mean when they write about true love. I just love KJB so much. This is the way love has presented itself to me in 2010. If 2011 is anything like this year, I know that I will be loved like never before. I'm ready for that.

My Year In Review: Spirituality

I used to be big on church. That has not been the case lately. I've become disillusioned with organized religion. I deceided to take things into my own hands for a while. This year I've been exploring my spirituality on my own. It has been a rather interesting journey thus far.

I've taken on the task of reading the Bible. I invested in a study Bible that has been a great help. I've been able to garner a deeper understanding of the words and stories in the Bible. I would like to think that reading these words have given me some patience and peace. It's amazing how much I've retained from childhood sermons. I love when I get to a story I know in the Bible. It really touches me.

So far, Matthew and Romans are by far my two favorite books. I've been enthralled by the story aspects of these books. I will not say that I read the Bible everyday. But, I am reading it alot more than I ever have before. Some chapters are more interesting than others. This makes for fast reading for me.

I am completely committed to reading all of it. I'm no where near completing the Bible. And, for the first time when it comes to reading, I'm not on a rush to finish it either. I'm enjoying this process and can't wait to continue it into the new year.

My Year in Review: Myself

This has been a very interesting year. I can say that I'm better at the end of it than I was at the beginning of it. It was a learning year for me. 30 was a wonderful age for me.

I've become comfortable enough to voice my true feelings about certain things. Things I never have admitted to anyone before. I used to be very guarded before this year. I made myself believe that I was guarding my heart from any impending pain or hurt. In actuality, I was stopping myself from feeling anything. That part of the story is over.

I did not cut my hair once this year. That's a big deal for me. I am usually changing my hair style and color constantly. I let that go this year. My hair has grown to about shoulder-length and its still jet black. I can't say that this will be the case in 2011. It probably will be cut soon. But, the jet black will be here to stay. I love it a lot.

I've learned to let go and worry less in the latter half of 2010. Taking on the worries of others is something I've done all my life. I decided that it will not be a part of my future. I read so many great books this year. And, from them I learned so much. I think that is when I'm at my best, when I'm learning. I love to learn.

I let go of some toxic and dead friendships. Friends grow and that's what happened. I re-established some major friendships as well. I will not dwell on those who've lost me. I'm focused on strengthening the friendships that I hold dear to my heart. That's what's important to me. It's what I've learned this year. Life is for the living. And, I plan on living every moment to the fullest from here on out. This is my introspective year in review.

My Year in Review: Favorite Songs of the 2010

Here are a few favorite songs from this year.