"100 City Vigil" for #JusticeForTrayvon

I've spent the last two weekends at #JusticeForTrayvon rallies. The first was not as well attended as the second. The second one, which was today, was a huge success. So many people came out to support. I was excited to see that people really do care. We are upset. We are outraged. We will be moved to action. Trayvon's life will not be lost in vain. From the home made signs and t-shirts to the hundreds of people in hoodies. everyone was there for the same cause. It was peaceful and well orchestrated. The former mayor, Marc Morial, spoke. I was always a fan of him and his politics. I'm still angry about the verdict. I'm still so sad for Sybrina and Tracy. The judicial system failed their son, failed them. And, we were all witness to it. We need a huge change to come. The "Stand Your Ground" laws need to be either abolished or severely revised. I truly hope all this movement pushes the Department of Justice to do the right thing and charge Trayvon's killer with a civil rights case. I feel like I have to show up to these rallies because I care. I hope you all did the same. No Justice, No Peace.  

 

Movie/TV Review: "Love, Marilyn," "Man of Steel," & "The Newsroom"

This weekend was an emotional one with the verdict coming down. So, I had to find a way to get out of my feelings. I did that in two ways: a peaceful rally and movies. The first documentary I watched was "Love, Marilyn." I can honestly say that I did not know much about her. And, my opinion of her was very low because of the whole sleeping with the married John F. Kennedy and his brother, Robert Kennedy. Someone mentioned it on Twitter. I learned so much about this woman. I am glad that I did. I learned so much about this woman. She wasn't who she portrayed herself to be. She wasn't the dumb blonde I thought she was. It was very interesting that they touched on all of her love affairs except the Kennedy ones. I do believe that she didn't just die. I think she was killed. Anywho, if you're a Marilyn fan or not, this was a very informative documentary. I truly enjoyed it. 

Next, I was dragged to go see the new Superman film, "Man of Steel." I wasn't that hyped to see it because I haven't been a Superman fan since the days of Christopher Reeves/Dean Cain. But, I went anyway. It was a pretty good movie. I think it was too long though. Especially the fight scene. That could have definitely been cut down. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. I don't give away spoilers but I really loved the ending. Also, I've just read that there is already a Superman 2 in the works. And, that Batman will be a part of it as well. That sounds super interesting. I would probably go see that film. If you're a fan, you'll dig this one. 

I have been hearing about the HBO show "The Newsroom" for a while now. I just never took the time to get into it. That was the case until last weekend. I started watching season 1 via On Demand. I went into it with an open mind. By the middle of the first episode, I was hooked. The show is based on a CNN anchor type called Will McAvoy. He is the best and worst character ever. I love and hate him just about the same. I love the fact that the show is about actual journalism. It's a behind the scenes look at what goes on in a newsroom. The cast is great as well as the writing on this show. I love Maggie and M and Sloan and Charlie. I finished the whole first season in a week's time. The second season just started last Sunday. The first episode of the second season was amazing. It was unexpected but still great. I do not know where this season will go but I am all the way here for it. If you love CNN and MSNBC shows, you will love this show. You should just def get into it. It's worth it!!

My Poetry Corner XI: "We Agree" & "All I Am"

My heart refuses to listen to my head
My heart wants the same thing it has for years
It wants you
Your voice, your laughter, your smile
It craves even the way you used to say my name

My heart is stupid
and foolish
because it desires who hurt it
longs for the person who broke it
My heart does not make sense

My head knows better 
It speaks reality to my unwavering heart
It recalls the words that hurt
that broke us 
that you said

My head remembers everything
and forgets nothing
when it comes to loving you
My head relives those last moments often
And it kills me

My head and my heart don't or
can't see eye to eye
loving you was a gift 
losing you felt like a death
That's the only thing that they can agree on.

********************************************

"All I Am"

Being friends with someone 
you’re still in love with is a farce. 
It’s not possible. 
I don’t want to be just your friend.
Not when I know the way my name sounds coming from your mouth dripping in love. 
I could never accept to hear my name said any other way. 
I never wanted half of you 
And that’s what being your friend means 
It means suppressing the love I feel every time I hear your voice
I couldn’t fake it anymore
I had to love me more
Had to walk away from the deepest love I’ve ever know
And now everything I write is about you or for you
In some way or another
It’s the saddest thing 
Loving you from here
Alone
I couldn’t deal
So I had to do what you couldn’t 
Leave when love wasn’t on the table
You offered friendship as a consolation prize
And, I couldn’t accept those terms and conditions 
I’m an all or nothing type of girl
You used to know that. 
So now we’re nothing
No one
And love is what we used to have
All I am is sad.

Ladies Love Lyrics: Inspirational Music

Some days, I just need to be recentered and refocused. Lately those days have been outweighing the rest. There are two song that helps me get there. I've been playing them a lot. They are both inspirational and uplifting. They tap into a part of me that desperately needs it. Inspiration can come in many forms. This time, it came in music form. My spirituality means the world to me. Without it, I am nothing. I just wanted to share these two tracks with those that may not have heard them before. Enjoy. 

"Take me to the King
I don't have much to bring
My heart is torn in pieces
It's my offering
Take me to the King

Truth is I'm tired
Options are few
I'm trying to pray
But where are you?
I'm all churched out
Hurt and abused
I can't fake
What's left to do?

Truth is I'm weak
No strength to fight
No tears to cry
Even if I tried
But still my soul
Refuses to die
One touch will change my life

Take me to the King
I don't have much to bring
My heart's torn in pieces
It's my offering

Lay me at the throne
Leave me there alone
To gaze upon Your glory
And sing to You this song
Please Take Me To The King

Truth is it's time
To stop playing these games
We need a word
For the people's pain

So Lord speak right now
Let it fall like rain
We're desperate
We're chasing after you"

"I know you’re praying for a change

To see a sunny day
Nothing good has come your way for so long
You need someone to understand this place your heart is in
You just want to dream again and believe

Your skies may look dim and grey
But know your breakthrough’s not far away
So hold on
You are too close to give up now
You have so much to live for
Remember what you prayed for
Hold on, please don’t let go in this season
Know that flowers bloom when rain falls
You just hold on
You ask when will this go away
Know that God can feel your pain
Believe He’ll never fall short of His word
Sometimes we forget that He holds us His hands

But I’m reminding you don’t give up"

It's My Hair: Rant

Natural Hair Rant: DO NOT TOUCH MY HAIR. DO NOT ASK TO TOUCH MY HAIR. NATURAL OR RELAXED, I REALLY DO NOT CARE. 

I do not care what any other woman does with her hair. Simply because it is NOT my hair. What I do what my hair only affects me. After over 20 years of having my hair relaxed, I decided to make a drastic change. I didn’t remember what my natural hair felt like, looked like. I thought about it a lot before doing it. I thought about my future a lot. I didn’t want to pass that legacy onto any future daughter I could possibly have. I wanted to get to know my hair intimatley. It’s also kinda funny but my three younger sisters are all natual as well. Of the 3, only one wears her hair curly/kinky/coily from time to time. The other two are prone to flatirons. There isn’t one way to be natural. It’s just a way of life for us. There are many natural hair women in my family. It’s been almost 2 years for me. This natural journey isn’t a fad for me. I LOVE my hair now more than ever. I live for a braid out or twist out. But, I have no issue with rocking a bun or a flatiron. It’s just hair. And, if I ever want to get another relaxer, I just may do so. It’s just hair. I do what I want with it. I don’t look down on relaxed hair women just like I don’t look up to natural hair women. That’s all. These are just my thoughts.

NO JUSTICE, NO PEACE

Justice was NOT served tonight. George Zimmerman was found NOT GUILTY of murdering Trayvon Benjamin Martin. Excuse my French, but how in the holy fuck did this happen??!!??! If George Zimmerman is not guilty of killing an unarmed kid, then please tell me who killed Trayvon? Who? Who will be held accountable for his murder? Let's be clear, I am pissed. The same way I have been since I started writing about this case on March 15, 2012. This case struck a chord for me for so many reasons. None more than the fact that I have 4 nephews under the age of 10. This case and verdict scares me. I am afraid for them. This case was about so many things: racism, profiling, clothing, and privilege. Zimmerman killed a kid and then went home.  If not for the public outrage, this case would've went away. Zimmerman was arrogant as was his brother, mother and father (who wrote a book that blamed "Blacks" for his son being on trial no less). The trial started and I was disgusted by the defense team. I was prepared for this verdict.  

Do you see the smile on this murderer's face? Do you see the utter glee on his face? This is the body of a soulless, Godless murderer. Yes, he was found not guilty criminally. But, morally, this is the face of a cold blooded killer. He took the life of a 17 year old kid. He said that he does not regret taking Martin's life. He is guilty of that. No verdict could change that fact. He has to live with that. The all woman jury let a murderer walk. They did not do their job. This is sickening. I feel so deeply for the Martin family. Their son did not get the justice he was due tonight. I hope that they sue the Zimmerman family for all everything they have. No amount of money will bring Trayvon back. But, no murderer should be able to profit from his crime and Martin's death.

Moments like this really put things into perspective for you. I've been stressed over my heart and my emotional health and Sybrina and Tracy lost their child and didn't get justice. I feel incredibly shallow at this moment. Good job, Florida. The defense team put Martin on trial and convicted the victim. It is a gross misjudgement by West and O'Mara. The kind of karma that will come from this will have to be huge. If you are the parents/aunts/uncles/friends/Godparents of little Black children, hold them tight. America doesn't value Black people. Black President or not, this is not a post-racial land. This was proven tonight.  I'm just really sad. This makes me so sad for us as a people. We have so far to go. Jesus, help us. Rest in peace, Trayvon. We all know who killed you and why. I hope that Zimmerman never has another moment of peace. Killers do not deserve it. This night calls for dark liquor. I just can't. There is a petition by the NAACP to urge the Department of Justice to open a civil rights case against Trayvon's killer. If you agree, sign it. We can still fight the fight to the finish. For Trayvon. For Sean Bell. For Oscar Grant. For Jordan Davis. For the nameless, faceless ones who die each year to gun violence all over the world. For truth, For peace. Do something. 

   

Take Responsibility

The above quote is so true. You need to be fully responsible for the energy you bring with you, especially if its my space. I've spent the last week of my life facing some hard truths. I've never been one to turn away from any responsibility. I hold myself  accountable for every action, decision, thought and word.  It's my way of always holding myself accountable.  Whenever you walk into a room or into a person's life, you bring your energy with you. A person with negative energy can drain you, especially if its a daily thing. Also, a person with an ulterior motive has a negative energy. Keep those away from you as well. I don't know why this is such a hard concept for some. When I am in a bad mood, I tend to stay to myself. I don't necessarily want to talk about it. Nor do I want to project that onto someone else. But, that's just me. 

What I will no longer allow is someone else to come into my space and affect me negatively. My year has been the epitome of that. I've been reacting to one situation. I haven't been smart or logical about it. I've been the antithesis of myself. And, that must end. It isn't pretty or truthful. And, truthfully, I am done with it. Over it. There is no excuse for that type of thinking. If your energy is off and not pure, please stay away from me. Far away. Your space is personal. It is your own cloak of security. You have to protect it at all costs. The reality is no one will ever respect your space the way you will.  It's a very hard lesson to learn. Especially when you've let people in and they've said they would take care of you. In the end, you realize that sometimes a person's words are just that...words. My space is sacred. I need everyone to respect that. I will return the favor. These are just my thoughts as I sit out by the pool on this ridiculously hot Louisiana day. Be good to each other, people.

Ladies Love Lyrics: Toni Braxton "Stupid"

I could really go into an indepth explanantion. But, I just don't feel like it. This song came on one of my Pandora stations. And, it just felt relevant. So, here we go with a Toni Braxton track "Stupid" that should've been a much bigger hit. These lyrics are e-very-thing. Listen.


"Loving you is stupid
Cause I know that you never really loved me
And you never gave me signs Id see
That you and me were never a possibility
And I feel so stupid
After all the noise you left me lonely to die
And you never gave me a reason why
And now I'm sitting all alone and I cry

Am I stupid?
I should've known you were only playing a game
And you and me would never be the same
You made me feel like I'm the one to blame
And I feel so stupid
After all those nights after nights that I tried
And all those conversations of lies
And I'm sitting here all alone and I'm crying

I'm crying....

I can't believe you never knew how I felt 
All this love and baby no one else 
Could ever love me the way that you do
You're all I need and you treated me so wrong
And I can't believe it 
How could you do me like you do
Cause I've been so stupid for you

Why do you do me like you do
You baby, You darlin
You baby, You darlin
You don't care 
I'm stupid baby, I'm stupid darlin 
For you

And I'm the one played
And I'm the one left with all the shame
I'm stupid baby, 

Stupid darlin"

It's My Hair: 21 Months Strong

It's been a little over 21 monthe since I began my natural hair journey. I have learned that less does indeed equal more when it comes to product in my hair. I've been trying some new things lately. Simplifying my regiment. Decided to go from a braid out to bone straight and then a bun this week. The first picture shows the 3 different hairstyles that I had.  In the below picture are my three staples. One spray bottle of homemade leave in conditioner (water, conditioner, sunflower oil and evoo), Eco Styler Olive Oil Gel, and another spray bottle of water and glycerin. This entire process started with me pre-pooing my hair with the Body Shop Rainforest conditioner and oil. I followed it up with my leave-in conditioner. My hair was braided after that. 

Fast forward 5 days, I sprayed my braid out with the water/glycerin "green" spray bottle first. Then I sprayed the leave in conditioner in "blue" bottle. I let my hair air dry for a few hours. After it was about 85% dry, I started on the daunting task of flatironing my hair. I haven't done it in so long because it is a job. My hair is very thick. I actually hate doing it. But, I wanted a different look. It was my first time using the Garnier Fructis Style Sleek & Shine Flat Iron Protector Straightening Mist. I was optmistic. The scent was light and fruity. I liked the way my hair felt afterwards. Some, heat protectors make your hair feel sticky. This one did not. It took me a little over an hour and a half to finish. I was completely worn out once I was done. I was left with a head full of straightened hair. But, I live in southern Louisiana and the summertime heat is no joke. So, I decided to pull it back into a bun with a little Eco Styler Olive Oil Gel. 

 Finally over 2 hours later, I was done. I am satisfied with my results of all the new products I used to achieve this sleek and oulled together look. I had a moment last week where I wanted to cut all my hair off. I was frustrated with a few things. That would have been a rash decision and those are never good. I'm glad I didn't let my emotions make a decision I surely would've regretted. I've been stressed and my hair shows it. My hair was doing more shedding than normal because of this. I think that's over now. A hot oil treatment and a little dusting took care of it. Oh and prayer. A lot of it. I do love my hair. I haven't been able to say that in a long time. Naturally me so I cannot complain. No natural hair woes this week.

I Feel Like Drowning

Ever have a dream that you're drowning? I had one a couple of nights ago. Well, I've actually been having this particular dream for weeks. One important part was only revealed to me a couple of nights ago. I was in the middle of a body of water drowning. I could actually feel myself flailing around and hear myself screaming for help. There was a person on a boat not to far from me. This person could clearly see & hear me. But, made no effort to come towards me. I was taking in water. I kept slipping under the surface. I was frightened. I just knew I was going to drown, which is a huge fear of mine. The person on the boat is someone I love. But, the person on the boat would not save me.

Drowning (via Dreammoods):To dream that you are drowning indicates that you are feeling overwhelmed by emotions. Repressed issues may be coming back to haunt you. You may be proceeding too quickly in trying to discover your subconscious thoughts. You should proceed more cautiously and slowly. If you drown to death, then is refers to an emotional rebirth. If your survive the drowning, then it means that a waking relationship or situation will ultimately survive the turmoil.

And, in my dream, I heard a voice say "Stand up, child." It calmed me down. I found my footing and stood up. I realized that the water isn't that deep. I was doing it to myself. The person in the boat kept calling my name & beckoning me towards the boat. I turned around & walked in the other direction. Then, I woke up. I got it. I feel like God has been trying to tell me something all along. I finally got the message. I was drowning & waiting on the person I love to save me. That wasn't a part of the plan. I had to do it myself. No man/woman could ever be my savior. Message received.

It's Here!! Jay Z's "Magna Carta Holy Grail"

If you've been reading this blog then you already know that I am a certified Jay Z fan. I've written about him numerous times. Like here, here, here or here just to link a few. Anytime he releases new music, I am always hyped for it. The release of his 13th solo cd "Magna Carta Holy Grail" was an unprecedented event. There was no first single. The first inkling we were given was a commercial announcement during the NBA Finals. It was released exclusively on the Samsung Galaxy 3/4 and Note via an MCHG app on July 4th. Before the release, lyrics were released on the app. So, fans knew the words to songs before ever hearing it. All of this was a part of Jay's new rules movement. The rollout was not without kinks. The app crashed moments after it went live. But, finally folks were able to get it. The cd was released today, July 9th. It was platinum before the release due to Samsung buying a million copies upfront and the RIAA changing its rules. 

"America tries to emasculate the greats

Murdered Malcolm

Gave Cassius the shakes.

Wait.

Tell em rumble young man rumble

Try to dim ya light 

Tell you to be humble." - Jay Z "FUTW"

So, this entire experience was different. I was listening to this project with new ears. I was hungry for some new Jay music. I sat quiet and alone and just heard the music. Some songs pulledme in for the beats first. But, as usual, most got me fot the lyrics. Jay has a dope keen ear for beats. MCHG is no different. Every beat is perfection. I really don't have to discuss his lyrics because that is his best attribute as a rapper. He knows exactly what to say and how to say it. That has not changed. He flows differently on a few songs. But, still manages to stay uniquely himself. Overall, I am def digging this. It's exactly what I wanted from my favorite rapper. I break down song-by-song how I feel below. One thing is glaringly apparent: Shawn Corey Carter is loving being a father to Blue Ivy. You can tell that her birth has changed him. MCHG is a grown up rap album. The children won't get it. And, that's quite ok. If you're an old fan, this is for you. If you are a new fan, this is for you. If you don't like Jay, then none of this matters. Get into Jay Z's new cd, "Magna Carta Holy Grail."

• "Holy Grail" ft. Justin Timberlake - Opening track has JT singing for his life and killing it. I love everything about this. Lyrics, beat and production are married perfectly.
• "Picasso Baby" - The line "lean on it Blue, you own" made me lol. Witty word play by the God MC, Hov is evident here. Dope track. 
• "Tom Ford" - First, the bounce on this is STUPID! I can def see this being a club banger. Jay floats all over this. His flow is ridiculous hear. Also, loved hearing Bey singing greasy at the end of this track. 
• "F*ckwithmeyouknowIgotit" ft. Rick Ross - I hate to admit how much I dig this track but only because I'm not a Ross fan. Besides that, it is flawless. 
• "Oceans" ft Frank Ocean - One of my faves for the hook along. I love the subject matter and the collabo of Jay and Frank. 
• "FUTW" - This is a contender for my favorite song on MCHG. I just really enjoy it. It's the song I replay the most. Classic Jay.
• "Somewhereinamerica" - Jay raps the word twerk. Ratchet Mr. Carter, I can dig it. This got a lot of play on the 4th. 
• "Crown" - I was instantly pulled into this song from the first second. Jay speaking about his life. The fact that this was produced by a 16 y/o Black girl makes me love it even more.
• "Heaven" - The lyrics of this song are my favorite. The chorus is dope. Jay pours his heart out here. 

"Arm, leg, leg, arm, head - this is God body

Knowledge, wisdom, freedom, understanding - we just want our equality

Food, clothing, shelter - help a n***a find some peace

Happiness for a gangsta, ain't no love in the streets

Conspiracy theorist screaming Illuminati

They can't believe this much skill is in the human body

He's 6'2, how the fuck he fit in a new Bugatti?

Aw fuck it you got me

Question religion, question it all

Question existence until them questions are solved." (Jay Z "Heaven")

• "Versus" - It's an interlude that could've, should've been a full song. Great beat. 
• "Part II (On The Run)" ft. Beyonce' - The Carters on a track together will forever always be greatness. This is no different. Love their love. This is a follow up to "'03 Bonnie & Clyde" which is classic to me. 
• "Beach Is Better" - Why isn't this a full song? Why? It's Jay bragging about his wife. "I brought sand to the beach because my beach is better." Love their love and collabos.
• "BBC" ft. Beyonce', Pharrell, Nas, Swizz, Timbaland - My least favorite track. It's too many features. I HATE when Swizz talks all over a track. His voice annoys me. So it was an instant turn off. The actual lyrics and beat are cool though.
• "Jay Z Blue" - This is the most vulnerable song on MCHG. It's Jay's ode to his daughter Blue Ivy. He speaks on his fears of not being a good dad. Love vulnerable Jay.
• "La Familia" - This reminds me of "Hola Hovito" because of the Spanish connection. The chorus has been stuck in my head. And, I am not complaining about it. Dope track.
• "Nickels and Dimes" - The ending of MCHG. It is fitting. And, deep. You just have to listen to it. Mr. Double Entendre. He is everything to me. 

"Ask Bun B about me
This ain't no snap back, a n***a's been trill
By the way, fuck your math
You ain't gotta count it my n***a I can add."

- Jay Z "Somewhereinamerica"

It's Just July

° Jay-Z heard my cry from last month's random thoughts. He released new music!! His "Magna Carta Holy Grail" is here. And, I couldn't be more excited. It is awesomeness in a song. It's lyrically superb to almost every big Hip-Hop release this year. It's some of Jay's best work. He gave me everything I needed here. It features Beyonce', Pharrell, Timbaland, Swizz Beats, Justin Timberlake and Rick Ross. It's just extremely good. Get into it. 

° There is nothing like peace. Mine has been uneasy for a while now. But, I've decided that just won't do. Peace be still indeed. I've allowed to many outside factors to affect what's inside of me. And, the reality is that is dumb. No one cares about my peace and happiness as much as I do. I cannot expect no one else to give it to me. Anyone who is standing in my way is in for an awakening. I'm simply not doing that anymore.   

° BET showed a documentary entitled "Imagine A Future." It was about a dark skinned Black girl and her plight with her skin tone. She travelled to Africa to learn some history. It was very informative. It was also backed by Beverly Bond and her "Black Girls Rock" foundation. It was worlds better than OWN's "Dark Girls" documentary. 

° I'm going to be a Teedy again for the 9th time. It's a girl. I cannot wait to meet her. I know she is going to be gorgeous. And, we will love up on her just like the rest. I do love babies. They seem like heaven. Well, until they poop or spit up. But, you know what I mean. Babies are awesome and I love them. 

° This past week, I did something I haven't done in years. I went to visit my Dad. That probably wouldn't mean much to many but my Dad died in 1998. I hate cemetaries. But, I needed to go. I sat at his grave and just talked to him. I cried a lot. It was spiritually cleansing. I don't think that I'll need to go back again. 

° The Trayvon Martin-George Zimmerman trial is a headache to keep up with. I do it because it's important to me. I have no patience or tolerance for anyone who wants to blame the weaponless teenager for his own deal. If you are one of those people, you couldn't be in my circle. I will not tolerate that level of ignorance. The defense attorneys are annoying. I also hate how stoic and unaffected Zimmerman seems to be about killing a kid. No remorse at all it seems. Ugh. I truly hate his face. I cannot wait for it to be over.  

° Was gifted some new natural hair products. I am loving all of them. Will have to blog about them soon. I do love free things. And, any product that helps me on my natural hair journey, I am with it. 

° Things are changing. I am not exactly sure if I'm comfortable with it. But, I'm in it. Change is inevitable. I know I need to grow. I just want to be better alreadyy. It's the thing I want the most. I've been wishing for something to happen for a while now. I finally get it. God could be telling me no because it isn't for me. That's a huge truth to accept. That what you thought was yours won't ever be again. But, it is what it is. I cannot continue to fight whatever my fate is. I'm open to it. 

Get Into It: "Being Mary Jane"

BET is bringing new programming to the screen. The latest show is "Being Mary Jane" starring Gabrielle Union, Omari Hardwick, and Raven Goodwin. It premiered as a movie earlier this week. It will be back as a series in January 2014. Mary Jane Paul is a successful woman, a TV anchor, and the bank for her family. She has it all but not really. She has a gorgeous house, a reat career and a loving family. What she is missing is a love of her own and a family of her own. She has a sick mother, a brother with no ambition but a huge family, a brother attending college and a niece who keeps popping out babies. Everyone depends on her, especially finacially. MJ is a woman on the verge of breaking. I can see it. 

The character of MJ is relatable on so many levels. I know for a fact that a lot of my friends identify with her. And, it has more to do with her being Black. She, like Kerry Washington's Olivia Pope, is a flawed character. I love that the most about her. I can admit that I did not have high hopes for the show. I am admittedly not a fan of Gabrielle Union.  She has been a very limited actress in the past. I put her in the same category as Janet. Neither of them show any emotion or range in their face when acting. So, I pushed that to the side and jumped into the show. 20 minutes into, I was hooked. The movie was really good. I was happy to see the handsomeness that is Omari Hardwick. I am a fan of his. So, the possibility of seeing him on my screen weekly is enough for me to tune in. The ending left me wanting more which was the point. The series will be picking up where the movie left off. I cannot wait to see where this story goes. Get into it, "Being Mary Jane."

Ladies Love Lyrics: Anthony Hamilton's "I'm A Mess"

This song truly explains my mind frame for the last 5 months. I'm truly a mess right now. I've avoided listening to it for months. But, I can't avoid the truth. I am the epitome of this song. I have to admit that. My head and heart are a complete and total mess. "Love is a muthafucka." ("love jones" quote). So, Im sure I'll regret this post as well. Whatever. It is what it is. Take a listen to my life on wax with Mr. Hamilton.


"I'm so torn up now can't believe I lost you
Lost my best friend my soul mate
can't believe it's true
We've invested in a set of twins a small house
and the dog cried out
Knew I was suffering
he was chained to my pain.
Me and you were meant to last forever 
And empty walls can't hold this house together
We were born to live and die together
And now ya gone and I'm so alone
Baby come on home

 [Chorus]
You could have called
you could have wrote
you could tried
I rather you slit me cross the throat
so I can die
 Instead of leaving no
explanation as to why
You don't want me no more
You don't want me no more.

I'm a mess right now
I can't eat can't sleep
Bills are piling high
ain't worked in three weeks
Ain't bathed can't shave cause
my heart is so tender
like living in a blender
I'm shaken and I'm stirred
You and me were meant to last forever 
And empty walls can't hold this house together
We were meant to lie and die together 
And now you're gone and I'm so alone 
Baby come on home..."

July: A Musical Interlude

Hi! It's Monday, July 1st. And, today I needed music in a bad way. I just needed to use it to get out of my own head. Too many thoughts and they were far too negative. So, I bowed out. I decided to just let music do what it does: mellow me out. And, like always, it worked wonders. So, I thought I would share a few of the songs that made the cut. Vibe with me. Thank me later, no Drake :p