I had a dream tonight. So real that it woke me up out of a Theraflu/Tylenol Cold & Sinus induced slumber. I passed out before 8pm last night. My dream was so vivid. The colors were shiny and beautiful. I couldn't wait to get some of the main points on paper. I feel inspired by it. Words means things (cc: Crissles). The words that were repeated throughout my dream were: vulnerable, They are words I normally don't associate myself with. But, if I am to be honest with myself, they are relevant. "Vulnerable" means capable or susceptible of being hurt, wounded; open to moral attack, criticism, temptation." I feel vulnerable at this point in my life. Totally open, raw and exposed to the world. It is one of the worst feelings. I can't cover it up or fake it. Every day, I try to overcompensate for this feeling. It is a fairly new emotion. I hate it.
The other word that kept showing itself in my dream was "option." I've been feeling that I was out of options. I know now that I'm not. I just let myself become consumed by what I was feeling. The reality is I have a plethora of options available to me. The world is still my oyster. Finally, someone in my dream who is actually not alive any more asked me this "what do you want?" That question was the point where I woke up. I wrote down a list of things that I want. My list scares me for many reasons. The list came from my heart. I do not know if I can have all the things on my list but they are what I want. My main objective is to make sure that I protect myself, my life and my heart at all costs. That may sound a little selfish. I'm ok with that. I am the most important person inn my life. And, no one else will take care of me or make me the priority that I will. It's ok for me to be selfish and take care of me. My dream actually made me feel really good about a lot of things. Things that I wasn't too sure of before. I may be rambling because of the Threaflu. But, I wanted to get this out while my dream was fresh in my mind. Happy Saturday people. I'm about to doctor on myself and go back to sleep.
Twitter, like all social media sites, can be the gift and the curse. Beyoncé has some of the best fans. She has some of the worst stans though. For those who don't know, stans are the overly obsessive, compulsive fans. These are the people who give regular fans a bad name. Stans are awful because of their actions. They will "drag" people all for the love of their faves. This never ends well. It's gotten worse with the emergence and popularity of Twitter, Facebook and blogs. Beyoncé's stans went so far overboard on Twitter and Tumblr a few nights ago. What I saw happen was beyond disgusting. And, the end result was one of my favorite writers and follows on Twitter deleted her account. That made me angry and sad.
A few nights ago, I was being thoroughly entertained with the tweets of one dream hampton. The topic of conversation was her teenage daughter's summer reading list. She named a few books that I haven't read so I'm thankful for that. The next tweet was out of character for her. She asked how someone got a picture of her daughter. The same daughter she is fiercely protective of, that she only refers to as the "AD" (awesome daughter). I never knew her daughters name or her face. And, in all actuality, why should I? What ensued was a serious ridiculous look into the minds of young people. A Beyoncé stan tweeted a picture of Bey and AD with the comment "Ewww" in front of it. This was followed by "she (referring to AD) wasn't cute anyway." Other stans joined in with calling dream's daughter ugly. They also cursed dream put, told her to stop overreacting and called her heinous names.
These stans went out of their way to be rude and cruel to dream and AD. They were malicious and gross. They attacked a child. A child who has know Beyoncé for 10 years. A child Beyoncé sees as family. Do you guys see how delusional these stans are? Why would Beyoncé be proud of them? This whole ordeal cause dream to delete her account for good. Her daughters picture, which was posed on a private Facebook Page, has been all over the web. Her daughter was attacked and called ugly. What adult does that to a kid? Why would you? I was heartsick watching it. Some people need a good psychiatrist and Jesus. I was ashamed of them. They should be ashamed of themselves.
The situation is beyond unfortunate. It just shows how bold people can be when they are behind a computer screen. It's very easy to have balls then. I'm sure none of them would have said any of that to dream's face. I'm sorry her daughter had to endure such nastiness from people. Seems like the stans were just jealous that they won't ever be that up close and personal with their idol. Twitter can be the devil when you're dealing with evil people. And, in my book, you have to be evil to say bad things about a child. I'm still shaking my head over this. It's just a really sad situation. I'm sorry for dream. I'm sorry that this had to happen. People need to do better, much better. Grow up. There is nothing healthy about being a stan. Y'all do remember the Eminem song? Stans are mentally wack people. Think about that before you speak ill all supposedly in the name of the artist you love. I'm sure they don't love that.
I really hate being under the weather. I hate being sick. But even more than that, I hate that I have to take care of myself when I'm sick. I'm writing this as I lay in bed with the most annoying sore throat, aching ears, sneezing uncontrollably and a stuffy nose. Nothing is actually making me feel any better. I just wanna sleep until it goes away. This bipolar weather we're having here is definitely the main cause. When I'm sick, I'm such a baby. It's horrible. I'm agitated and aggravated and every thing is working on my nerves. *sigh* I'm just not myself today and I don't like it. I've taken some meds and some sure fire home remedies. I'm just willing myself back to health. I don't want to go sit in a doctor's office with other sicker people. Here's hoping that my better day is tomorrow. In conclusion, being sick sucks majorly.
