My Personal Best Blogs Of The Year

Hey guys! Just wanted to share my best viewed blogs of 2012. I love watching the numbers rise on my blogs. It truly makes this writer beyond happy. This year alone I posted 381 times! That is insane. I can't believe I did it. Ok, this is my end of the year wrap up. Get into it!!

° - My "Soul Mates" post was a huge hit. It garnered 2,179 views!

° - I fell for the lyrics of a great song. I wrote about Nikki Leonti's "The Walk" and it got 1,117 hits.

° - Karma is a topic I ponder often. I did so here and folks were reading. It was viewed 654 times.

° - Hair is a huge topic, specially for Black women. I started my natural hair journey almost 15 months ago. I wrote a review on Cantu products. It received 400 hits.

° - We are all familiar with our comfort zones. I blogged about the topic and folks were watching. 396 people to be exact.

I am beyond thankful for everyone of you for visiting my blog, reading my words and coming back. Ridiculously thankful for the readers who take the time out to comment and engage conversation. I do not know why you came but I am thankful for you. I put my heart into my words here. And, to have people embrace that brings me to tears. So, I just wanted to take the timeout to say thanks. 2012 has been a hell of a year, writing/blogging wise for me. Cannot even begin to imagine what 2013 will inspire. Happy New Year's Eve!!!

Waving Goodbye To 2012

This is it. The last day of 2012. This year has been a lot of things. Some good, some bad. But, no matter what, I made it through. And, if you are reading this, so did you. That is reason enough to be thankful. 2013 is upon us. It is ours to do what we will with it. Going forward, I know that there are things I want and will get. Because I will do whatever is necessary to accomplish it. 2012 has been a mixed bag. More good than bad. So, I really cannot complain about much. The last month has been a bitch though. December 2012 has not been what I expected, needed or wanted. It has been trying to say the least. I haven't been sleeping much. In the new year, I def need less of all that. Less is indeed more.

I'm not a woman who complains a lot verbally. Mentally, is another subject. But, I don't like to burden folks with my problems, concerns or issues. I keep it to myself. I solve my own things. So, this is why the month of December has been extremely tough. I've been more stressed and worried than usual. I've had to grin & bear it around my family as to not to concern them. I've realized that one must be very specific in their prayers. I've been praying for an answer & I finally got it. It was not the one I needed. Instead, the answer made me feel worse than before. Made me even more stressed and worried than before. And this affects every aspect of my life. I cannot sleep, I have no appetite and my mind runneth over with wild scenarios. I won't even get into how I started crying in the middle of the bread aisle in Target. Stress affects people differently. I've had a crook in my neck for weeks & my shoulders hurt. It's like my body & emotions have turned against me. I have no control here & that is never a good thing. I just really need to leave all of this in 2012. I fear that starting the new year with all this going on will set the stage for the rest of my year. I'm not strong enough to carry that. I can't. And I won't. I am so over this month.

I've written way more this year than I thought I could or would. I stuck to my promise to myself. I blogged every day. Hell, there were some days that I blogged twice. It wasn't exactly easy but I accomplished it. That is a huge deal for me. I do not know what the new year will bring for me. But, I have prayed that it will be all good things. I usually do not do new years resolutions. But, I have a clear idea of what 2013 needs to hold for me. I pray for more happiness and less sadness, more opportunities to better myself in all aspects. Working on all relationships in my life is a must. I want less stress, more laughter in the new year. Maybe I want to be inspired more. I definitely need to sleep more. I am an admitted night owl. But, I really need to cut that out. Maybe set a designated bed time. I need to be more motivated. Basically, my word for 2013 is more. To be physically, mentally and emotionally better than the previous year is what I am striving for. here are a few others but they are very personal. 2012 is on its way out. I am not sad to see it go considering how awful the last month has been. Happy New Year's Eve!!

Ladies Love Lyrics: Cameo "Sparkle"

This will be my last "Ladies Love Lyrics" for 2012. I decided to reach back for this pick. I wanted to end the year with one of my childhood favorite tracks. The song is "Sparkle" by Cameo. This song means so much to me. My Dad used to sing this all the time. He loved to sing and he could sing so well. I miss those moments. I had not heard this track in well over a decade. So, when it played on Songza last week, I couldn't stop smiling. It instantly brought me back to my childhood home. Hope you guys enjoy this track as much as I have.

"When I first saw you
Like the starts at night
You had sparkle in your eye
High in the sky

How I wish
That you were mine
Cause to me

You're one of a kind
When I look at you
Can make me feel the way you do
It seems so untrue
How someone like you

Sparkle in your eye (I see that sparkle in your eye)
Sparkle in your eye (Ohohohwhoaha)
Sparkle in your eye..."

Get Into It: Free!!

I have a decent online prescence. You can find me here on my blog, on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, and Pinterest amongst other social sites. I am a social person. And, now I've found a way to be rewarded for this. It is a program called Influenster. Ironically, I discovered the site via Twitter. I was intrigued by the name. So, I had to check it out. I was blown away by the simplicity of it. The way I could use what I was already doing via social media to my advantage. I love getting free things. I mean, who doesn't?

What Is Influenster? -- Influenster is a free-to-join community of invited trendsetters who live to give opinions of products and experiences. Influenster creates links between brands and members to reward participation and influence future products.

I went to the site to check it out. I read the About section to answer all of my questions. Anything that involves me getting free things works for me. I joined and received my first Vox Box on Christmas Eve. I am loving all of the goodies that were inside. My Holiday Vox Box included: 

• NYC Liquid Lipshine in Nude York City which I truly loved. The color is perfect for me. It has great coverage and shine. It lasts a long time and doesn't get sticky. I've already picked up another one.
• EBoost Natural Energy packet in Pink Lemonade is a great tasting treat. And, it works wonders. I felt a surge of energy after drinking it. 
• A Montagne Jennesse Deep Cleansing Clean Up Mud Mask. This smelled so good. My face felt so refreshed after using this. I wish the sample was bigger. 
• Kiss Nail strips in black and gold are my new favorite thing ever. They're essentiallyy stickers for your nails and toes. Fast way to change your nails. They stick really well and they last a long time. 
• Cherry Pistachio Oatmeal sample was not good to me. I just didn't like it. 
• Goody hairbrush is awesome. Especially when doing a blow out on damp hair. Great product. 

All things a girly girl like me can indulge in. I am in LOVE with the liquid lipshine. The color works with my skin tone and it lasts. I cannot wait to see what is in the next Vox Box. Request an Influenster invite today. Influenster is a great program that you all should get into.

(Disclaimer: "I received these products complimentary from Influenster for testing purposes.")

One Night at a Bar (Part 1)

I haven't been sleeping that much lately. I have been doing a lot of free writing. This story came out one morning. I decided to share it here. I don't know if I'm done with these characters. Hope you guys enjoy my short story.

She waited patiently at the dimly lit bar. Nervously touching her diamond pendant necklace. It was a habit. She was on edge. Anxious. The bartender walked over to her. "Hi there. What can I get you, pretty lady?" he asked while smiling. She smiled backed weakly. "A glass of Pinot Noir, please." she replied. "You look like you could use something stronger. How about a shot on the house to go with your Pinot." She smoothed out the napkin while shaking her head. "I'm Max. Let's take a shot" he said. "Hi Max. I'm Kalila." She picks up the shot glass and throws it back. Max does the same. "You look nervous. Are you waiting on someone?" Max asked. Kalila responds "Yes, I'm waiting on my boyfriend. He's late as usual." as she looks at her watch.

She finished her glass of wine way too quickly. She didn't care. She was fighting off tears. Max refilled her wine without asking her. "You look like you needed another one, Kalila." She replied "I did. Thank you." "You don't look very happy waiting on this man. What's wrong?" Those two words. That question had been following her for weeks now. The tears came as she lowered her head. "Hey, please don't cry. I'm sorry for prying." he said. She dabbed at the tears on her face. "It's not your fault, Max. This is just the end of something I wanted more than anything. You are about to witness a breakup." Kalila said. Max looked into the sad,sad eyes of Kalila and felt her pain. "You don't want it to be over though." "No, but it has to be. He doesn't even see me anymore. I deserve to be seen." Kalila said to Max. "I don't know why I'm spilling my guts to a stranger. But, you don't know me so I don't really care." "Well, if he is taking you for granted, then maybe you should leave."

Kalila drinks her Pinot slow and keeps hawking the door. She can't look Max in the eyes. She knew he was right. Every fiber in her being knew this already. The relationship had run its course. She was just sad and afraid. Sad because she was losing her best friend, her love. Afraid because she did not know what life would be without Zachary. She loved him fiercely. But, it wasn't enough. Not at all. Max asked "Would you like another glass?" She shakes her head no. "Water would probably be better. I need to be clear to do this." Max understands. Kalila drops her head. Max takes this as a sign that she needs a minute. He walks away to serve other patrons at the bar. She was on edge. Zack is super late. She checks her cell for the 100th time. No missed calls or texts. Another sign that she is an afterthought to her own man. She gets angry all over again. "This is crazy," she thinks. An hour has passed, still no Zach. She calls him but gets no answer. She wants to leave but cannot.

Her phone vibrates finally. She looks down to see if it is a call or a text. A text from Zachary. She sighs. Her heart knows that it will be bullshit. It's all that iit ever is. Zachary's text read: "Sorry, Baby. I'm not going to make it to the bar. Work calls." Kalila is ridiculously annoyed. And highly pissed off. "He does not care. Why would he do this? What? I wasn't worth a damn phone call." she wonders aloud. Max notices her demeanor. He is tempted to talk to her again. But, he doesn't want to intrude. She sits with her shoulders slumped over. She looks like a woman defeated by life. A beautiful woman but defeated none the less. Max wanted her. But, her heart belonged to another. He wanted to know more about the woman with the deep brown eyes. But, he knew better. He was a great judge of character. He knew now was not the time.

Kalila is thinking and shaking her head. "This is what their relationship had come to. Her always waiting on him. Waiting on him to pick up the phone. Waiting on him to come over. Waiting on him to let her in. He'd been different lately." She didn't want to admit that. It was as if he didn't love her anymore. And, that hurt like hell. His actions screamed that he didn't care anymore. But neither of them had the courage to end it. He was supposed to be her happily ever after. She finishes her drink and calls for Max. He walks over to her. "I'm done. How much?" she asked. Max smiles and says "No charge. You look like a woman who needs a break. It's on me." Kalila was taken aback. She smiles and thanks him profusely. She takes out a $20 bill to tip the nice man with the great voice and smile. "Here this is for you. Thanks for lending me your ear." He takes the tip graciously. "Thank you. Don't be a stranger. Come back to my bar sometime, Kalila." "Your bar?" "I own it. I'm just filling in for a sick bartender tonight." He hands her a card. "Do you promise to come back?" Kalila smiles "Yes, I do. Thank you Max. Good night."

Kalila walks out of the bar with a smile on her face. She knew that her future was unsure. She knew that her relationship with Zachary was over. She looked down at the card. It was nice, very professional. She flipped it over to see that Max had written his cell number on the back. She was surprised. She put the card into her wallet as she walked to her car. She did not know what was ahead of her. But, she was smiling regardless. To Be Continued...Maybe...

It's A Wrap

The holidays have a way of either bringing out the best or worst in people. This year, I am happy to report that the best was brought out of my people. For the last 5 days, I have had the most fun with my family. Literally the most fun, I have had with them in forever. There is something about being around folks who really know and accept you for who you are. My holidays have been filled with nothing but laughter. Hope the same goes for anyone who reads this.

If you have never been to New Orleans, then a daiquiri is a must. It is happiness in a cup. This was Cajun Eggnog with an extra shot of rum. It definitely made my holidays cheery. I do not drink the way I used to. I cannot. I'm sure it has to do with age. But, a daiquiri has never hurt me. So, I've had a few over the holidays. And, yes, my name is on my cup. No, I didn't write it though. There was a house full of people drinking so names on cups was a must.

We played a lot of Spades. It is a past-time that my family regularly partakes in. My cousin & I won. We were the "us" playing against her husband and my brother-in-law. We won one round, they won the next round. I love to play spades because I like to talk sh*t. I am very good at that lol. We are all very good at it. Great time was had by all. Another shot below of the on-going card game. This is the way I ended my Christmas night: playing cards with the people I love. The holidays are almost wrapped up. They have been more than I could have ever asked for. Sometimes life just gives you a moment when you least expect it. My Christmas memories have always been surrounded by my Grandmother's house. I haven't ever spent a Christmas any where else. I don't even know what that would feel like. Happy Holidays to everyone!!

*In the pic above, it's me in the grey jacket, my BIL in the white, my little brother in the red holding my niece and my cousin in the corner playing spades.*

**This is my 800th post. That is a huge deal for me. I am proud that I've stuck to it. Thank you guys for reading my blog.

We Like To Party

This cake was a part of a Saturday surprise. I was lured to my Grandmother's house under the guise of a surprise party for her. That was only half true. It was also a surprise party for me as well. I was born 5 days before her birthday. She always said that I was her birthday gift. My sisters fooled me. It was a great surprise. It was a family party and I enjoyed every moment of it. I had the best time with my family. I haven't had a surprise party since I was a junior in high school. I haven't been myself lately. So, the party was a huge pick me up. My favorite cousin and her family came home for it. As well as my youngest sister.

My grandmother, whom we call Momma Lou, is 76 and she looks great. We both enjoyed our day. There was great company, great food, good drinks and of course, cake. All in abundance. Things were just awesome last Saturday. I smiled and laughed all day with them. They are all hilarious in their own way. It was just what I needed in a moment when I didn't even know I needed. The holidays haven't felt the same this year. But, the party put me in the best of moods. Hoping everyone enjoyed there holiday as much as I enjoyed my party! Loved it.

Feliz Navidad

Merry Christmas, Readers!! Hoping everyone has a great holiday!!!

My Poetry Corner VIII: "Addiction"

I’m hot 
and I’m cold
I’m tired 
but can’t sleep
My head is full of words
That I can’t write
I have an addiction
You are it
I don’t function well 
when you aren’t around
So what does that say about me 
I’m not so sure
I just know I need you
Crave you
Breathe you
I’m addicted to your "youness"

Classic Music: Amerie "All I Have"

Amerie was a breath of fresh air. Her debut single "Why Don't We Fall In Love?" was infectious and played constantly on the air. I was a super fan of it. I loved the playfulness of it. Loved Amerie's voice. Her single was the soundtrack of my summer. My girls and I loved it. I think the only song of hers that compared to her debut was "1 Thing" which was another infectious track. Amerie's debut was "All I Have." It did not do as well as it should have. And, they were other songs that should have been released as singles. But, the project was awesome. I can still play it all the way through. There is not one song that I dislike. The lyrics, her voice and the music were all perfectly married on this project. I was a happy consumer then and now.

Her second single "Talkin To Me" was important to me because I had the hugest crush on a co-worker. So, that song became sort of my theme song. When her debut cd premiered, I had to have it. I was not disappointed. The chemistry and sound that Amerie and Rich Harrison created is timeless. "All I Have" is classic for that reason to me. I still play this cd. It will never get old to me. I really wish that her and Harrison would collabo again because her sound hasn't been the same since she stopped working with him. Their chemistry reminds me of what Aaliyah had with Tim and Missy. It was unique to them and no one else could touch it. Her single choices were very good. But, her album was full of single worthy tracks. Below are my favorites. Get into these throwbacks. Enjoy.

So....

...the world didn't actually end yesterday. We're all still here, right? I do not know why so many jumped onto this blatant conspiracy theory. So, the Mayan calendar ended on 12/21/12. So what? Maybe the Mayans died before finishing it. Seriously folks, how many times will man try to predict the end of the world before people learn? This is at least the 4th time in the last dozen years that the world was supposed to end. It's like folks have nothing better to do than speculate about things. My foundation was set in the church as a little girl. There are some passages from the Bible that I know without any thought. I know that God's word says that no man will no the date or time when the Rapture will occur. I don't know about you guys but standing on God's word sounds like a great idea. So, we're all still here. Living, loving and looking forward to another year. I am thankful to God for the gift of life every day that I wake up. That means the world to me.

"I tell you the truth, this generation will not pass from the scene until all these things take place. Heaven and earth will disappear, but my words will never disappear. However, no one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows" - Matthew 24:34 - 36

Get Into It: "Breaking Dawn Part 2"

I FINALLY watched the last Twilight film "Breaking Dawn Part 2." To put it mildly, it was awesome. I kinda knew it would be after reading the last book. I blogged about it here. I did have high expectations for this film. They were all met and exceeded. It took me a while to actually go see this film. Life has a way of getting in the way of plans. I was also prolonging watching it because I hate for things to end. So, on my birthday, I took myself on a date to see it. I was excited!! And, for great reasons. I am not super into vampires or werewolves but I loved the plot of the books/movies. A good storyline goes a long way with a writer.

The movie was everything I expected it to be and more. I love when a film sticks very close to the book. "Breaking Dawn Part 2" did exactly that. Bella was well Bella. And I loved her the most in this film. I think I just tolerated her moodiness in the other films. I loved the little girl who played Renesmee. She was cute and so adorable. I loved how protective all of the Cullens were of the new family. I did not like that Charlie wasn't in the movie much. Jakob was even more handsome in this movie. Edward was the quintessential dad/husband. I loved the inclusion of other vampire families. It was really great to see the Cullens interact with other like them. I am still in awe of the Cullens' residence. This movie has the inclusion of Edward, Bella and Renesmee's new home. It was so cute and quaint. Bella's closet was a dream come true for me. The movie was just really huge. Everything about it seemed bigger and better than the film before. This series ended on a great note. I loved that there was even a twist in the movie that I did not see coming since it was not in the book. If you are a fan and you haven't seen it already, please do so. It's a really great film. I loved it. I am sad to see the series end though. I may have to read the entire series again. Get into it!

Christmas Jeer

Bah humbug indeed!! I am NOT in a Christmas mood. I have no holiday cheer at all. It is no where to be found inside of me. I can't shake the feeling. So, I've given up on it. The only thing I'm looking forward to is Christmas Day with my family. I'm hoping that being around them will re-energize me. I try my best to not let much get to me. There are sometimes that I fail. Like right now. I haven't been resting peacefully at all. I can't. My mind is in overdrive for hours at night. My head is heavy with a thousand and one thoughts and scenarios. None of them have been pretty. My heart is another story all together. I cannot even begin to attempt to put those thoughts into words. They wouldn't make any sense to any one but me. I feel helpless, on the verge of hopeless. Clearly a holiday spirit is not living within me right now. I have been over-analyzing, over-thinking every thing. The only reason I am still blogging right now is because of a promise I made to myself. I wanted to blog daily for a year. I am almost to my goal. I can't let anything stop me from getting to it. So, I will blog my way through my feelings. I will stick to my goal, by any means necessary. Here's hoping that your holidays are filled with more cheer than mine have been so far. Happy Holidays to you guys!

This Reader's Review: Part XII: "The Dream Giver"

I am always looking for new books to read. I found my latest choice via Twitter. Necole Bitchie is an entertainment blogger that I really enjoy. You can visit her site here. The book is "The Dreamgiver" by Bruce Wilkerson. This is the story of Ordinary and following your dreams. The way the story is told is very interesting. The book reminds me of the poem "Everybody, Anybody, Somebody, and Nobody." I love that the main character doesn't have a name. He just goes by "Ordinary." Any one of us could be "Ordinary." That's the brillance of the plot.

In essence, we can all find ourselves in the main character "Ordinary" because we are. We are all on a journey to follow our dreams. We have to fight through our own personal comfort zones to attain them. Our dreams are obtainable. They are ours to reach. "The Dreamgiver" weaves a great tale. Ordinary is just an every day person living an ordinary life. He hears a voice that tells him to go after his dreams. I took that voice to be God. Ordinary meets so many people on his journey to capturing the "Big Dream." Ordinary also inspires others on his way. That's the way dream capturing works. It was a very good and quick read. I loved every bit of it. This book was awesome. I would recommend it to any reader looking for a new book. Get into it.

A Question Or Two

1. Are you young @ heart or an old soul? Early bird/night owl? °Old Soul, Night Owl°

2. How do you express your creativity? °Writing poetry, blogging°

3. Do you believe in luck? °A little bit°

4. When have you felt most alive? °Whenever I am playing with children°

5. What has been troubling you lately? °Lots. Most of it I cannot control but it troubles me still°

6. Do you want to be perfect? °Nah, but I do want to be better°

7. Would you prefer to live? A city? The suburbs? The countryside? The mountains? °It depends: I'd prefer to leave near water or in the suburbs when/if I have kids°

8. Name a movie that you knew would be terrible just from reading the title. °District 9°

9. What holiday do you most look forward to? °Christmas°

10. Do people change? If so, how do you keep a relationship together when both of you start to change? °Yes, we're all changing and growing. You either adapt or you leave.°

11. You’ve got the TV on, but you’re not really watching. What channel is the TV on? °Lately, MSNBC°

12. Do you practice what you preach? °I try my best too°

13. You know at least one person named Michael. Tell me about him. °He's one of my oldest, dearest friends. He's my brother from another mother. He can always make me laugh.°

14. Describe the last time you were very angry at someone. °It was a few weeks ago. Has to do with a family member & things that were said behind my back°

15. If you could pick anywhere to live the rest of your life, where would it be? °Today, I'd want to be somewhere far, far away like Fiji°

16. Are you hard-headed? °Absolutely°

17. Do you drink? Smoke? Do drugs? Why, or why not? °I drink, that's all. Because I want to.°

18. Describe your perfect day. °Waking up near a beach, breakfast picnic, day spent walking the beach, playing in the water. Watching the sun set and drinking champagne°

19. Where was your favorite place to go when you were a little kid? °The library. It's still one of my favorite places°

20. Have you ever laughed uncontrollably when it was socially inappropriate? °Always°

21. What was the last song that was stuck in your head? °Tamar Braxton's "Love & War"°

22. Do you like the type of music your parents listen to? Do your parents like the type of music you listen to? °Yep x 2°

23. What is something you want to change about your current situation? °My location & life style in general°

24. Do you know what makes you happy? °I'm not so sure any more. Maybe I need a new source of happiness°

25. Predict what your life will look like a year from now. °It has to be better, greater than it is today°

26. What do you use more often: your intuition or logical reasoning? °My intuition°

27. Tell me about the last book you read. °"The Dreamgiver" was about following your heart to getting to your dreams°

28. You win a scratch-off lottery game that gives you $2000 a week (after taxes) for the rest of your life. Do you keep your job? °Yes°

29. What part of the past year sticks out in your mind? °Well, December sticks out so far. But none of the reasons are good though°

30. Name a TV series you didn’t enjoy until after it ended. °"That 70's Show"°

31. What is the best TV theme song ever? °Moesha or Living Single or Fresh PRince°

32. What’s your “quirkiest” habit? °I have to have the closed captions on the tv...whether it's muted or not°

33. Give me the story of your life in six words. °It has to get better right?°

Dear Diary (IV)

I celebrated my 33rd birthday a few days ago. I am usually very excited about my birthday. I don't feel that way at all this year. It's hard to explain but I just feel indifferent about it. I am feeling unlike myself today and I really don't like it. I decided a while back to blog everyday, even if I didn't feel like it (which is the case right now) or when I couldn't (I'd force my way through it). I've been told that I feel too much, too deep. It is the gift and the curse. Anyway, it's my birthday and I'm thankful for making it through another year. I do not know what will happen next. I'm just really praying that it is something awesome. I need that. I've been thinking about not blogging so much in the new year. Maybe just once a week or so. 33 seems like such a weird age. I am older and wiser but I feel like I'm missing something. Anywho, this is just the ramblings of a new 33 year old searching for the meaning of, well, everything.

I'm not a perfect person. I know that I'm spoiled and opinionated and a little selfish. I have a big personality. I am always working on me. I want to be more conscious and aware of the feelings of others. I have to work on not taking things so personal. I'm good at hiding that from others. But a lot of things affect me. And some times they are very small things. I am, by nature, a sarcastic smart ass. I've learned how to curb some of that. I do love the folks in my life that can take me full throttle. I've held my tongue a lot this year. My coping mechanism is to count to 10 in my head and just breath through it. It's worked wonders. I hate to apologize so this eliminates that.

I still have a "I don't give a fcuk" attitude about a lot of things and certain people. That's a classic and will not be changing ever. I can't make myself care about any person, place or thing that doesn't rate in my book. I'm just trying to better myself daily. I think that's the real purpose of life. Improving on what/who you are. It's an attainable goal for everyone. I'm just a woman, a natural dealer of words, a struggling Christian, a work in progress. Those are just some of my attributes. I'm on the road to gaining a few more titles. It's inevitable. It's my destiny. They are the things I daydream about. Often. So close to having exactly what my mind has thought of. I couldn't be more excited.

And Another Thing (Mini-Rant)

Tragedies, like the Connecticut school shooting, always have a way of putting life into perspective for me. My birthday was a happy/sad day for me. I am always happy to celebrate making it through another year. But, to know that 20 children lost their lives that day as well made it sad. I still cannot believe this is the world we live in. This is not normal. I've been watching CNN and MSNBC constantly since Friday. It's only so much sadness one person can take. I just can't turn away though. Those kids deserve my attention. They need to know their lives were not in vain. I received calls from all 8 of my nieces and nephews on my birthday. I didn't realize how much I was longing for those calls. Hearing those tiny voice tell me "Happy Birthday" meant the world to me. Especially when there were so many tiny voices lost on the same day. I needed to hear from my nieces and nephews. They made my day. I am still so hurt behind the loss of life....especially kids. That is just wrong. I am praying for the families who are dealing with this tragedy. We have to remember their names, tell their stories. I still cannot wrap my mind around this. I am sure I never will. It's just been on my mind and I cannot shake it. Those poor little children. Gone entirely too soon. We will never be able to make sense of this tragedy. I'll just leave that up to God.

20

20. That number keeps repeating in my head. 20 kids whose lives were cut short by an evil bastard. 20 kids who went to school this morning happy that today was Friday. 20 kids who were in the place where they should have been safe. 20 kids who lost their lives today. I cannot believe this. What kind of monster walks into an elementary school and guns down 20 kids? I do not have a problem with guns. I don't like them. Guns don't kill people. People kill people. I will not write the killers name. He does not get to be infamous. He was a monster. I don't want to hear a damn thing about his mental state. It's a cop out that I don't adhere to. He purchased a semi automatic gun, ammo and a bullet proof vest. He killed his mom. He drove to a school, walked in and opened fire on kids. Unstable? Nope. Just plain evil, crazy.

My heart breaks for the murdered kids and their grieving families. I cannot imagine how they get over this. A total of 28 dead today. The killer took his life like the coward he was. He has d numerous families, a community and the little town of Newtown, Connecticut. Excuse my French but fuck the shooter. This is horrible. Now is the time to reform gun laws. Citizens should not be able to obtain automatic weapons. I don't want to hear a peep from those NRA freaks or the gun loving folks. A major change needs to happen. Now. 20 elementary age kids should not be dead today. This shouldn't happen. We have to do better for those 20 kids and all the people we lose to gun violence daily all over (especially in Chicago & New Orleans). My prayers are with the everyone in Newtown.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

Today, December 14th, is my birthday. I just want to take the time out thank God for waking me up this morning. I am grateful for still being here 33 years later. I know that none of us are promised tomorrow so I am not going to take it for granted. I am now a 33 year old woman. I am still getting used to saying that lol. It's my birthday and I just had to blog about it :)

Get Into It: Marsha Ambrosius, Johnta Austin and Luke James

Free GOOD music is always a gift I love to receive. So, you guys should already know that I am in my own musical heaven right about now. Two voices that I really love just recently dropped free mixtapes. Marsha Ambrosius and Luke James are amazing. These new projects aren't any different. I haven't been able to stop playing either for the last few days. Good music is just good music. It makes me happy and I could always use some of that. Let's get into them.

Marsha decided to drop her "Hors D'Ouevres" mixtape before she releases her sophomore cd "Friends& Lovers" in 2013. It is a 4 song offering. It's like a teaser for her new cd. I am 100% here for it. Every track is that great. "Slow Motion," "Expect This Shit," "Summer," "FCKINGITITOVAWID" are the tracks. All are my favorites. Marsha's voice is still amazing as it has been since Floetry. I've been a fan since the beginning. I loved "Late Nights, Early Mornings" as well. You can get it here.

Johnta Austin is a name you may not know. But his work you def know. He wrote Trey Songz' hit song "I Need A Girl" amongst others. He is a well sought after producer/songwriter. He also happens to be a great singer. I love his voice and personality. He has finally released some music for our ears. This is grown folks, old school R&B. And, I'm always here for that. His EP "Love" can be found here. My favorite tracks are "In Love," "Pain," & "What A Feeling." Johnta is also a part of Jermaine Dupri's Oceans 7. This a group of singers (Usher, Trey, Johnta, BCox) and producers/songwriters (Dupri, BCox, Johnta). They released a mixtape a few years back. Anyway, this EP makes me happy. It will do the same for you. Get into him please.

Luke James is a virtual newcomer on the music scene. He is a native New Orleanian. He has had the pleasure of opening for Beyonce' earlier this year. That was a great move on his part. He exposed many to his voice and talent. I have been waiting to get some music from him. "Whispers in the Dark," his EP, exceeds my expectations. His voice just makes me happy. WITD is an 11 song offering. I really love "Hurt Me," "Heart Beat," and "Mo'Better Blues" the most. But, this is not discounted any of the other tracks. I love them all. James, in my opinion, is one to watch. It doesn't hurt that he is very easy on the eyes ladies as well. You can get "Whispers in the Dark" for free here. So, download both and get into them. Enjoy the free music.

Simply The Best

It's almost the end of the year. I decided that now would be a great time to talk about my favorite songs of the year. There have been a lot of them. Hey, I cannot help it. I LOVE music. So, I had to do more than one list. Singles are all great and dandy. But, more times than not, the single isn't the best song. And, I also had to talk about my favorite mixtape cuts. So, there are three lists below. Get into them.

Singles

12 - Mylah "Ever"
11 - Fun. featuring Janelle Monae "We Are Young"
10 - Chris Brown "Don't Judge Me"
09 - Frank Ocean "Thinking Bout You"
08 - Meek Mill featuring Drake "Amen"
07 - Lianne La Havas "Empty (In Paris)"
06 - Tamia "Beautiful Surprise"
05 - Elle Varner "Refill"
04 - Ne-yo "Lazy Love"
03 - Adele "Rolling In The Deep"
02 - G.O.O.D Music featuring Jay-Z "Clique"
01 - Miguel "Adorn"

Albums

12 - Monica "New Life"
11 - Frank Ocean "channel Orange"
10 - Bruno Mars "Unorthodox Jukebox"
09 - Lianne La Havas Is Your Love Big Enough?
08 - Soundtrack "The Music of Smash"
07 - Elle Varner "Perfectly Imperfect"
06 - Ne-Yo "R.E.D."
05 - G.O.O.D. Music "Cruel Summer"
04 - Brandy "Two Eleven"
03 - Rihanna "Unapologetic"
02 - Adele "21"
01 - Miguel "Kaleidoscope Dream"

As usual, the best song isn't always the singles. I usually find great gems hidden on the album. That was the case this year as well. I fell in love with a bunch of songs that will properly never get the single treatment. I actually happen to love that though. It ensures that I won't get tired of them because of the radio overplaying them. So, here are my favorite 12 of the year. I had a hard time narrowing this list down. Here are the winners:

Hidden Gems

12 - Brandy "What You Need"
11 - Frank Ocean featuring Andre 3000 "Pink Matter"
10 - Monica "Daddy's Good Girl"
09 - Keyshia Cole "Hey Sexy"
08 - Nicki Minaj featuring Ciara "I'm Legit"
07 - Elle Varner "Soundproof Room"
06 - SWV "Show Off"
05 - Kendrick Lamar featuring Drake "Poetic Justice"
04 - Miguel "How Many Drinks"
03 - Rihanna "Pour It Up"
02 - G.O.O.D. Music "The One"
01 - Ne-yo featuring RaVaughn & Young Jeezy "All She Wants"


Mixtape Hits

12 - Iggy Azalea "Me, Myself, My Money" (Glory)
11 - Fabolous "For The Love" (Soul Tape 2)
10 - RaVaughn "Me and You (Love Thang)" (Love Always, The Introduction)
09 - Joe Budden "So Good" (A Loose Quarter)
08 - Emanny featuring Joe Budden "I Messed Up" (Songs About Her)
07 - Meek Mill featuring Jordanne "Use To Be" (Dreamchasers 2)
06 - Elle Varner "WTF" (Conversational Lush)
05 - Slaughterhouse "Truth or Truth" (On The House)
04 - Raheem DeVaughn "Ask yourself" (Heemy Taught Me 2)
03 - Daley featuring Marsha Ambrosius "Alone Together" (Those Who Wait)
02 - Fabolous featuring Joe Budden & Teyana Taylor "Want You Back" (Soul Tape 2)
01 - Joe Budden featuring Emanny "More of Ma (A Loose Quarter)

And, with the best, there must be a worst. These are the people I would rather never hear from again.

No Mas

12 - Carly Rae Jepsen
11 - Alicia Keys* & this "Girl On Fire" era
10 - Lil Wayne*
09 - Ciara*
08 - A$AP Rocky (I also hate that he refuses to use an S in his name)
07 - Lil Mouse
06 - Azealia Banks
05 - Taylor Swift
04 - Lil B
03 - Chief Keef
02 - Trinidad James
01 - Future

Twelve Thoughts of Randomness

This is my final (12)Random Thoughts post for 2012. It has been some year. My thoughts are always so freaking random. These are...ummm...different. Here we go:

° I really thought that the Republicans in Congress would not continue to act like spoiled brats after losing the election. I was wrong. Dead wrong. All the "fiscal cliff" talk is draining.

° You ever feel like nothing you do or say is right? That is where I am currently. I feel helpless and I don't like it. The words fail me and I feel like a failure in one particular area. I just feel inadequate and I hate it. I can't do what's natural to me. I don't know how to proceed.

° I just finished reading "The Dreamer." It was such a good book. It's amazing to me that my reading picks have changed so drastically in the last few years. I readily bypass the urban lit section now. I am more into the motivational books. I guess my tastes have grown up.

° My favorite month of the year hasn't been going in the manner I've wanted it too. But, I've got my fingers crossed for a fantastic finish.

° I have a new favorite song today. Tamar Braxton's "Love and War" is it. I am not a fan of her antics and diva attitude on her reality shows but this single is e-very-thing and I am here for it.

° I'm not loving my hair. I don't know what to do with it. I've been wearing it in a bun for weeks now. I am just lost about where to go next with it. Either I figure it out or I'm cutting it off. It's just hair right? This could just be my über frustration with things in general.

° As far as 2013, the one thing I want more than anything is to just be a better version of myself overall. I am not silly enough to believe that I have finished growing. I welcome the growth. I crave it. Need it. Praying for it.

° Really can "Scandal" get any better? I mean, I don't know what will happen next but I am ready. This is must-see tv. If you haven't gotten in to this show, I do not know what you are waiting for. Get into it.

° I am almost 2 weeks into this December Squat-a-thon and it is kicking my ass literally. But, it feels good. So yay for me. The first few day's were easy because I did it in the house. I break up the squats into 2 sets; one in the morning, one at night. I can say that day 8 (this past Saturday) was the worst so far. It took everything for me to get through my 55. That has more to do with my emotions than my physical. When it comes to health and fitness, every little bit counts right?

° I really look forward to Christmas every year. It's the one day out of the year that I really, truly enjoy. My family is a very loud, rambunctious group. But, I wouldn't have them any other way. I do love them. I cannot wait to see them.

° I took a hard stance on an issue. I am not sorry about it. But, I really hate the outcome. Hate that it has burned a bridge that I didn't foresee. All I can do is pray about it.

°I really do need to start using Spanish on a daily basis. I feel like I'm losing my skills. Can't have that. Feliz Navidad. And my favorite saying in Español "yo no se¡"

Food For Thought

I am inspired easily sometimes. These images have done that for me. The first one describes me perfectly. I have never been one to act my age. I really don't even know what that means. I don't necessarily act younger or older. I'm just me. Sometimes serious, sometimes silly, always myself though. I don't know how a 32-almost-33 year old is supposed to act. But, if it's any way other than my current state of mind then I'll pass. I happen to like the way I act. Everyone else should too.

"Alice In Wonderland" has long been a favorite of mine. I loved the book as a kid and enjoyed the movies as an adult. There are a ton of quotable moments in the story. One of my favorites being "I've sometimes believed almost 6 impossible things before breakfast." Another being the passage below. It's still true to my life. When you have a decision to make and you don't really know where you're going or what you want, then the road you choose really doesn't matter. I think people forget this. It is a quote that I will always carry with me.

I love this image. I've seen it multiple times with certain words being added or deleted. I love the overall message of it that simply means "enjoy your life." It is a reminder to live life while you can. Because in the end, worrying, stressing, over-thinking will not make you enjoy your life any more. I always need this reminder. I need to remember to simply be in the moment. To exist right now without thinking ahead so much. It is one of my bad habits. I am an over-thinker. Have been for as long as I can remember. And, the reality is it's too much weight for me to bear most days. I need to be more and think less. I know some say that less is more but in the case of this image it's the other way around. I need more, deserve more. And, I've decided to grab my more and leave the less behind. I have to. Theses images gave me food for thought. And allowed me to take my mind off of the other things consuming my mind and life. This is just a little food for thought. Take with you what you need. Leave the rest for someone else. Feed your mind!

Ladies Love Lyrics: Holiday Edition

For this edition of my "Ladies Love Lyrics," I decided to go in another direction. I am NOT a big fan of holiday music. Mainly because the stores od on them starting right after Halloween. I do, however, have a few tunes that I will never get tired of. One will always remind me of being a teen and high school. At the time, Brian McKnight and Boyz II Men could not have been hotter. Great singers who produced great music. "Let It Snow" is classic to me becuase it put a decidedly R&B twist on a holiday hit. The song takes its name from an old Bing Crosby hit. The lyrics are nothing like that song though. I just love it. My other pick is Donnie Hathaway's classic track "This Christmas." This song reminds me of my Dad and being a kid who loved Christmas. I lived for the tree and the lights and the music. So, sit, listen and enjoy the holiday spirit with me. Happy Holidays!!




"Let it snow, let it snow
But the fire's blazin'
Let it snow, let it snow
But the fire's blazin'
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

It's just another Christmas holiday
Just me and you
The weather's stormy but we're okay
And there's nothing that I'd rather do

Than lay you down beside the fireplace
Nowhere to go
You run out of breath, I start to shake
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

Let it snow, let it snow
But the fire's blazin'
Let it snow, let it snow
But the fire's blazin'
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

Come over here
Pretend like I'm the tree and you are the star
You're all the present that I'll ever need
Just wanna be everywhere that you are

Hear the carolers, the sleigh bells ring
Where's the mistletoe
We feel happiness the season brings
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

Let it snow, let it snow
But the fire's blazin'
Let it snow, let it snow
But the fire's blazin'
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

And oh, you are my everything
Won't ya come? Won't ya come?
God must have sent you down from heaven"




"Hang all the mistletoe
I'm gonna get to know you better, this Christmas
And as we trim the tree
How much fun it's gonna be together, this Christmas

Fireside is blazing bright
We're caroling through the night
And this Christmas will be
Very special Christmas for me

Presents and cards are here
My world is filled with cheer and you, this Christmas
And as I look around
Your eyes outshine the town they do this Christmas

Fireside is blazing bright
We're caroling through the night
And this Christmas will be
Very special Christmas for me, yeah..."

Things I Like: Michael Kors

I have developed an affinity for anything Michael Kors. Like most women, I love fashion. I am an accessory queen. I love my watches and rings and bracelets. I only wear necklaces every now and then. I literally hoard handbags. I love them so much. Let's not even get started on me and my shoe obsession. In the words of Carrie Bradshaw, " a woman can never have too many shoes." I am not into name brands that much. I just like quality, well made, aesthetically pleasing pieces/clothes. That is always my guideline when shopping. I like what catches and holds my eye. Michael Kors does this. I always notice his ads in the magazines. I am always drawn to his lines in the stores. That registers with me.

There is just something about his designs that I dig. I love the fabrics he chooses. The man is a fashion genius in my book. He can do know wrong. I've picked a few of my favorite must have pieces by Kors. They are pictured throughout. They are my favorite pieces. The Rose Gold watch is one thing that I must have. They would all make great birthday and/or Christmas gifts for a December baby like myself. *hint, hint* Feel free to buy these for me :) These are just a few things I like.