Rant: 35

In less than 5 months, I will be 35. Thirty-freaking-five!! This is a huge milestone for anyone. I am not prepared. I am not taking this aging thing gracefully. 35 is an age I could not comprehend  when I was 16. Around this time 5 years ago, turning 30 felt like the biggest thing ever. I am trying my best to not get caught up in all the things I thought I would/should have by this age. But, it's hard not to. I am not really looking forward to it. 35 is an age where things should be settled in your life. I feel totally unsettled and unprepared for what will become of me. I don't like the uncertainty my future holds. Turning 35 was supposed to be something different than what it will be. It just hit me today that I will be 35 soon. I had a plan for my life. It hasn't exactly panned out quite the way I thought it would. I am going to spend the next few months trying to change my thinking about my next birthday. Hopefully, by the time December 14th, my outlook will be better. Fingers crossed.

Thank God for your 30's...

My birthday is this coming Saturday. Yikes! I'm truly not ready. Around my 28th birthday, I started dreading my 30th. To me, 30 represented the age one should have it together. Career, marriage, family, and home should be in place. I was so far from that. I didn't even know if I truly wanted it. Turning 30 became, something I wanted to avoid. Right before that birthday, I realized that I was blessed. I knew too many folks who didn't make it to see their 30th birthday. So, I embraced it. Especially since I didn't look it.

My 30's ushered in something wonderful. The 3 years after 30 were some of my happiest ever. I know I wouldn't have appreciated it in my 20's. I didn't mind turning 31,32, or 33. Now that I'm days away from my 34th, that feeling is back. I'm not happy about this birthday. I back to that place I was before my 30th. So, in am effort to turn it around, I'm thinking about all the wisdom that I've gained so far in my 30's. I posted the below on my Tumblr yesterday.

Thank God for your 30's... 

I’m thankful for the wisdom that comes when you cross the threshold of 30…for a plethora of reasons.All the things you think, do, say, believe in your 20’s will drastically change in your 30’s…if you’re lucky. 

In your 20’s, you THINK you know it all. In your 30’s, you KNOW you do not.  

I ran the streets in my 20’s. I was in every club, knew the dj's, bouncers and bartenders. I loved going out. Then, it got old. And, I grew up. 

You will too.

What have your 30's taught you? I know God has a plan for all of us. I thought I knew about mine. I've been proven wrong. So, the one thing I truly want for my birthday is a clue. I've spent too much time thinking I'm doing the wrong thing. Oh and tulips. Tulips on my birthday would make my day. I guess I could always go buy my own, right? It's officially my birthday week. Let's all pray that it's a happy one. Here's to 34 & prospering! Happy Birthday Week To Me!! 

We Like To Party

This cake was a part of a Saturday surprise. I was lured to my Grandmother's house under the guise of a surprise party for her. That was only half true. It was also a surprise party for me as well. I was born 5 days before her birthday. She always said that I was her birthday gift. My sisters fooled me. It was a great surprise. It was a family party and I enjoyed every moment of it. I had the best time with my family. I haven't had a surprise party since I was a junior in high school. I haven't been myself lately. So, the party was a huge pick me up. My favorite cousin and her family came home for it. As well as my youngest sister.

My grandmother, whom we call Momma Lou, is 76 and she looks great. We both enjoyed our day. There was great company, great food, good drinks and of course, cake. All in abundance. Things were just awesome last Saturday. I smiled and laughed all day with them. They are all hilarious in their own way. It was just what I needed in a moment when I didn't even know I needed. The holidays haven't felt the same this year. But, the party put me in the best of moods. Hoping everyone enjoyed there holiday as much as I enjoyed my party! Loved it.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

Today, December 14th, is my birthday. I just want to take the time out thank God for waking me up this morning. I am grateful for still being here 33 years later. I know that none of us are promised tomorrow so I am not going to take it for granted. I am now a 33 year old woman. I am still getting used to saying that lol. It's my birthday and I just had to blog about it :)

Things I Like: Michael Kors

I have developed an affinity for anything Michael Kors. Like most women, I love fashion. I am an accessory queen. I love my watches and rings and bracelets. I only wear necklaces every now and then. I literally hoard handbags. I love them so much. Let's not even get started on me and my shoe obsession. In the words of Carrie Bradshaw, " a woman can never have too many shoes." I am not into name brands that much. I just like quality, well made, aesthetically pleasing pieces/clothes. That is always my guideline when shopping. I like what catches and holds my eye. Michael Kors does this. I always notice his ads in the magazines. I am always drawn to his lines in the stores. That registers with me.

There is just something about his designs that I dig. I love the fabrics he chooses. The man is a fashion genius in my book. He can do know wrong. I've picked a few of my favorite must have pieces by Kors. They are pictured throughout. They are my favorite pieces. The Rose Gold watch is one thing that I must have. They would all make great birthday and/or Christmas gifts for a December baby like myself. *hint, hint* Feel free to buy these for me :) These are just a few things I like.

It's December Baby!!!

It's December. My absolute favorite month for a plethora of reasons. My birthday is this month on the 14th. Then there's Christmas which is a huge ordeal for something more than the gifts. And, then it's New Year's Eve. Everything about the month of December is awesome. I love the smell of the holiday season. I am enthralled with the Christmas lights and decorations. It's the time of year when the weather finally gets cooler here. There is Christmas music on the radio all the time and Christmas movies on the tube. I have been a fanatic about this month all of my life. As a kid, I loved it for the Christmas holiday break from school. Also, because this break always followed my birthday. I took it as my gift from the school board.



I thought as a kid that I would get over my love of this month. I'll be 33 in two weeks and it hasn't changed yet. I beginning to believe that it won't ever change. I am more than ok with this. I feel differently about my birthday and Christmas though. They excite me for other reasons. I do not care about gifts as much as I used to. Thoughtful things are always welcomed. But, I no longer worry about the quantity. I focus on quality. It's the thought that matters the most. December just makes me happier than any other month of the year. Yes, I know I'm biased. I am more than ok with that. What's your favorite month and why? Tell me!

Loving December!

Families can restore your spirit in ways you couldn't even imagine. The holidays can be a trying time in a persons life. It's so easy to get caught up in what you don't have during a season of gift buying and gift giving. December is a very birthday heavy month for my family. It's literally a month long celebration for us. That has always been a big deal for me. I have loved the month of December for as long as I can remember. It's my favorite month in my second favorite season. Birthdays are a big deal to me.

Today is my Grandmother's 75th birthday. This woman is hilarious. I grew up calling her Momma Louise. That name has evolved into Ma and/or Foxy. We ended up having a very impromptu party for her today. She was surrounded by 7 of her grandkids, 3 great grandkids, and various other family members. There was a lot of laughter, food, cake and daiquiri's. We had so much fun. It's very easy to get caught up in my own stuff. I think I needed some quality family time. I definitely got more than enough tonight. I am so blessed to still have both grandmothers in my life. Foxy enjoyed her day and that means the world to me.

Do You Self Date?

Self dating is something I approve of. It takes some heart to do. And, everyone will not be into it. How comfortable are you with yourself? Do you go out to eat alone? Or to the movies alone? I think that it important to do so. Whether you are in a relationship or not. I think that I have to enjoy my own company before I can expect anyone else to.

I did just this yesterday evening. I took myself out for a belated birthday dinner. I went to Zea's and sat in a booth alone. I enjoyed a salad, Thai ribs, greens, fries and a glass of Merlot. I was there alone for about an hour. I didn't pick up my phone once. I just thoroughly enjoyed my meal and the company of myself. It wasn't uncomfortable at all. The restaurant was fairly packed. But, this isn't something new. I've done it before. I'm sure I'll do it again. It's chicken soup for my soul. I had a very subdued birthday so I felt the need to indulge myself. After all, it's still my birthday week. I also got a free drink since I mentioned it was my birthday dinner. So, it was a win all the way around.

I used to be terrified of doing anything like that alone. I don't know why though. I confronted my fears and few years back. I realized that sometimes I just need to be with myself. I find that I strike up more conversations with the wait staff or other patrons. Sometimes I day dream a lot. Either way, I always enjoy myself and my meals, movies or pedicures. Do any of you self date? Or are you afraid of it? Let me know.

Birthday Hangover

Just a few observations from my birthday yesterday.

* 32 feels just like 31...just like 30...and so on. I don't look my age nor do I feel it.

* For the most part, Birthday text messages >>> birthday phone calls.

* The person who made me the happiest yesterday was my Love. He knows exactly how to put and keep a smile on my face.

* This is the first year, in about 20 years, I didn't get one birthday card. I think I'm slightly sad about that. Oh, no cake either but that was my doing. Just had a cupcake.

* In the yearly "fight" between my brother and cousin to see who would tell me happy birthday first, Ken won this year.

* This weather and my allergies put a serious damper on my day. And now I'm doped up lol.

* The overwhelming birthday love that I recieved via social media sites made me feel very special.

* I'm happy about some things that happened this year, not so happy about things that didn't. But I am intrigued by what will be.

* I had a moment today when I got all into my feelings and super sad about things I can't control but that kinda happens every year when I reflect.

* My niece Ky sung to me. It made me very happy.

* I love when people sing to me on my birthday. It reminds me of being a kid and my Dad.

* In conclusion, my 32nd birthday was a very calm day. Great friends and family thought enough of me to send me awesome birthday wishes. My Love made my day. And I am more than ok with being 32.

Reflections of a 32 year old

Today is December 14th 2011. 32 years ago at exactly 2:39am, I entered the world. The first child to Yolanda and Kenneth. First grandchild on my Mom's side, second on my Dad's. My family spoiled me from that moment.Today, I decided to reflect on what my life has been thus far. I am more than pleased with the woman I've become. From an early age, I've had a voice and opinion and a mind of my own. Whether I've been right or wrong, I've believed in me. As much as I've been weak, I've been strong.



I've never stopped laughing or making others around me laugh. I've written some things I am immensely proud of and others that I should've burned. I've loved some great songs and some not so great songs. I've fed my thirst for knowledge every way I could think of. I've been a sponge to the intelligent people I know. I've been the hardest on myself because I know me the best. I've learned that I can give myself a break, cry if need be, or walk away when I have to. I've found some of the best friends a girl could ask for. I've found a love that I didn't even know was obtainable. It has been the highlight of my year. Or rather, he has been the brightest spot in my 31st year. I've loved hard and fought harder. I'm sure there will be even more love to come. I can't wait for what comes next.



My 32 years have been somewhat indescribable. But, I wouldn't trade any of the happiness, sadness, joy, laughter, tears, hurt or pain. I needed all of it to make me complete. My only wish for the next 32 is that they are a little less unpredictable, a little less drama filled and engulfed in a lot more love and really living. People always ask me what I want for my birthday and I always say I don't know. The truth is I don't need anything. There hasn't been anything that's caught my eye. I'm just blessed to be here celebrating year 32! That is gift enough for this birthday girl!

Seven Years Ago Today

Today is my nephew's birthday. Kendrick is seven today. He is my first nephew. I guess that's why I feel so close to him. Meeting him and holding him changed my mind about so many different things. I remember telling him, on this day seven years ago, that Teedy Kenda would always be there door him. That I would always have his back and he could come to me for any and everything. Holding him in my arms solidified his place in my heart. It's been amazing to me to watch him grow. He's a little prankster and he has a huge heart. My oldest nephew is growing up into a nice little boy. I still cannot believe it's been seven years. Where did you the time go? Happy Birthday, Kendrick. Teedy Kenda loves you (infinity + 1)!!

Feliz Cumpleanos¡

I remember the exact moment when I heard that Tupac had passed. I was in my Mom's car on my way to a game to perform with my Pep Squad. Wild Wayne announced it on Q93. My heart literally stopped. I didn't think he would actually die. This is the same man who was shot two years before five times and lived. I mean, he left the hospital the next day to be wheeled into court. Tupac Amaru Shakur was untouchable in my eyes. He was the first rapper I ever supported. He made me a Hip-Hop fan. My favorite Tupac cd is definitely "All Eyez On Me." There was more to him than a cute face. His voice was full of emotions. His words touched me.

I felt like I knew him. Felt as if Pac was just for me. I bought his cds, saw his movies, and lived for his interviews. He played a huge part in my musical journey. His untimely death affected me deeply. I remember how sad and somber my whole squad was during that game. And how quiet we all were the following Monday in school. Pac was ours. We lost him too soon. Today is his 40th birthday. I often wonder what role he would have had in the current state of music. Wonder about how far he could have gone. I miss his often hypocritical views on things. Just felt like sharing my Tupac memories. Oh and a few of my favorite songs by him.

HAPPY 40TH BIRTHDAY, TUPAC AMARU SHAKUR!! You are definitely missed.

Don't Be A Fool All Your Life

Today is April 1st. The day when the entire world has the free range to pull pranks. Or to act as fool. I'm sure you can tell that I'm not a fan of April Fool's Day. I'm not big on the whole pranking thing.

Facebook and Twitter were all abuzz with the most predictable pranks. I'm engaged, I'm married, I'm moving, I'm expecting/I had a baby. I don't know why adults think these pranks are funny. Clearly they aren't in my world. I love to laugh and will always enjoy a good joke. But, I think if one is over the age of 21, the April Fool's jokes are way lame. I just don't get the big hoopla around this date concerning adults. We are too old to this. April Fool's Day is a young man's sport. It is time to leave it to the young ones.



The only thing I associate with today's date is my youngest sister. It's her birthday today. She's 15 and I cannot believe that. My love for her overshadowed my disdain and annoyance with the actual holiday. So, please don't be a fool and fall into this trap of holiday. I celebrate my sister on this day. There are no jokes are pranks from me. I cannot get with it anymore. Happy Birthday, Tika!

The Quintessential December Baby

Today is Tuesday, December 14, 2010. 31 years ago on this day @ 2:39am, I was born.

On this day, I am just thankful for life, grateful for waking up to see another day. I have been overwhelmed with the amount of birthday wishes via texts, calls, and FB postings. I am forever grateful for the love. There is no other way to express that. I am humbled. I don't feel all that well today but I will smile in spite of that. Why shouldn't I?

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

Day 18: My Favorite Birthday

My favorite birthday would have to be my 21st. My birthday is December 14th and it was really cold. I had a family party with cake and ice cream. Which was an event all its own. My friends and I celebrated at Harrah's casino. I used my birthday money to gamble and I won a few dollars. We had some drinks and ate at the buffet. We clowned all night. We didn't make it home til the sun came up. The night was literally amazing. Great way to bring in the official adult birthday.