Colorful Epiphany

As I watched the night sky light up in colorful bursts of lights, I was filled with so much hope and happiness. It's been a really long time since I felt like this. I've never been one to believe in that whole "new year, new me" slogan that folks throw around. I simply always want to be working towards being a better version of the woman I was last year. I want to be more. That has always been my only real resolution. But, this felt different. Instead of getting down on myself about things/goals I haven't accomplished yet or people/things I've lost, I silently gave thanks for all the blessings in my life. I may not be in the position I ultimately desire but I'm still here. That means I still have time to get it all and more. That was the lesson the last few years taught me. There is no progression when I allow myself to wallow in the shade that disappointment brings. I finally feel like I am standing in the sun. 

I feel so much more like myself today than I have in a really long time. I am ready to make the moves necessary for me to truly live my life. I have no clue what is coming but I know it will be amazing. Because God said so. All the tears I've cried have been watering the seeds that were planted. I cannot wait to receive my bounty.What I want most is a life that is as colorful, bright and lively as the fireworks I witnessed that night. Simply put, I want to shine. And, I will. That is a promise I am making to myself for myself. It may not be what others expect it to be but it will be mine and it will be amazing. That's my word. I resolve to be the best version of myself. I am ready for 2015!

It's 2014!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! There are traditions that I normally do not partake in that I've decided I must today. My first meal of the day (@ 12:01 a.m.) was a piece of baked fish. My lunch was a plate of my Mom's cabbage, black eyed peas and cornbread. Which is amazing cause I hate black eyed peas and I'm not that fond of cabbage. But, the cabbage was great as was the cornbread. The black eyed peas still taste like I remember and I didn't eat all of them. I am all about positivity today and this year. I am expecting the universe to conspire to give me all that I want. I said last night that my resolution in 2014 is more. I want more laughter, happiness, money, prosperity, good experiences, etc. I feel like last year was a year that broke me down to my foundation. Which means that 2014 is a rebuilding year. I will be a better, doper version of myself. A happier, wiser, smarter, funnier Kenda. That is my wish for my 2014. I plan on only doing the things that make me smile and make me money. 

I was already excited about this brand new year. That excitement just rose exponentially after reading my Yahoo 2014 horoscope. Now, I do not live and die by my horoscope. I don't even read it daily anymore. But, the link was reblogged onto my Tumblr dash so I took a look. I was blown away within two sentences. I do not know any other Sag who has dealt with a more isolated year than myself. Reading it gave me chills and made me hopeful. It spoke on my desire for travel and wanting more. It just shows me that I have so much work to do on and for myself this year. I cannot wait. I thought about giving up my blog this year but I know that won't make me happy. Writing makes me happy. This is my happy place, right here on this page. I hope everyone has a fantastic year. We all deserve it the chance to be better, be more this year. Happy 2014, people!!!

Looking Forward

It's New Year's Eve and I'm feeling reflective. So, this post is a two in one. First, I wanna talk about the best thing of my year: my hair. This past year has been an amazing natural hair journey. I've had so truly dope hair days. From braid outs to bantu knot outs to two strand twists to wash and go's, I did it all with my own two hands this year. Most of these styles are trial and error. Some I got right the first time. Others, not so much. But, even when it didn't work, I just tried harder the next time. It's my hair so learning how to work with it is a must. I haven't been to a salon in almost 3 years. This is all me. I am thankful for youtube natural hair vloggers and the hair forums. I am grateful to the natural hair community for all of the information that has been at my fingertips. I did this. I'm so proud of me. Here are my favorite looks/styles of this year. I really fell in love with my own natural hair this year!!

Now, here is the second half. These are 14 questions that needed to be answered before the new year. Let's jump into it! Oh and Happy New Year's people!!!

1. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing? *Right now, settling. But that won't be for much longer. 
2. Have you been a friend to yourself? *This year, I have been my own best friend. I had to be.*
3. What was the biggest risk you took this year? *Reached out to someone who hurt me.*
4. What have you been holding onto that you need to let go of? *Everything that was said between the two of us, the life we planned, the love we had.*
5. What was this year’s biggest time waster? How will you make a change? *Biggest time waster were the countless moments spent wondering "what if?" Prayer is the only thing can change it. *
6. In what ways have you supported yourself in being less than? In what ways have you supported yourself in being all that you can be? *I allowed myself to blame me for something that happened to me. I've supported myself by stepping out on faith as far as my writing goes.*
7. Right now, is your life a manifestation of your inner world, or is your inner world a reflection of your outward world? How can you get back into alignment? *My life is a reflection of my outward world. Has been all year. But, 2014 will be the year of manifesting my destiny. This is how I will get back into alignment.*
8. What are 5 things you can do to reconnect? *Stop letting my heart lead me, doing instead of talking, strengthening my faith again, reach out to friends more, keep myself in good spirits.*
9. What lessons can you take away from this year’s relationships? *Things fall apart without warning. You have to be able to function without them. You have to know how to put yourself back together and move forward. No one else will do it for you. Love yourself the most because you are the only person who will take care of your heart. *
10. Have you been compassionate with yourself? With others? *With myself, not so much. With others, maybe a bit too much.*
11. What has brought you the most joy this year? *My family, hands down.*
12. Have you been living in your truth? *More and more.*
13. How do you want to think and feel about yourself twelve months from now? *I want to think more positively. I want to be able to see the sunny side of things again. I want to feel better about everything. I want to be my old self again.*
14. What else do you need to say or do to be complete with this year? *I am so done with this year. I have said everything that I can say, I've written all that I can. I want to leave all of 2013 right here.*

All Things Begin Anew

HAPPY NEW YEAR'S!!!

January 1st, 2013. It feels weird even typing "2013." I'm sure it's going to take me a while to get used to it. It's a brand new year. Time for fresh starts, new beginnings. New Year's Eve & Day always brings about reflection for me. I think back on what the outgoing year brought me and what I want in the upcoming year. I hope that 2013 is everything that all of us want it to be. We all deserve it. Let's make 2013 as great as possible, people! Prospero Año Nuevo¡

Waving Goodbye To 2012

This is it. The last day of 2012. This year has been a lot of things. Some good, some bad. But, no matter what, I made it through. And, if you are reading this, so did you. That is reason enough to be thankful. 2013 is upon us. It is ours to do what we will with it. Going forward, I know that there are things I want and will get. Because I will do whatever is necessary to accomplish it. 2012 has been a mixed bag. More good than bad. So, I really cannot complain about much. The last month has been a bitch though. December 2012 has not been what I expected, needed or wanted. It has been trying to say the least. I haven't been sleeping much. In the new year, I def need less of all that. Less is indeed more.

I'm not a woman who complains a lot verbally. Mentally, is another subject. But, I don't like to burden folks with my problems, concerns or issues. I keep it to myself. I solve my own things. So, this is why the month of December has been extremely tough. I've been more stressed and worried than usual. I've had to grin & bear it around my family as to not to concern them. I've realized that one must be very specific in their prayers. I've been praying for an answer & I finally got it. It was not the one I needed. Instead, the answer made me feel worse than before. Made me even more stressed and worried than before. And this affects every aspect of my life. I cannot sleep, I have no appetite and my mind runneth over with wild scenarios. I won't even get into how I started crying in the middle of the bread aisle in Target. Stress affects people differently. I've had a crook in my neck for weeks & my shoulders hurt. It's like my body & emotions have turned against me. I have no control here & that is never a good thing. I just really need to leave all of this in 2012. I fear that starting the new year with all this going on will set the stage for the rest of my year. I'm not strong enough to carry that. I can't. And I won't. I am so over this month.

I've written way more this year than I thought I could or would. I stuck to my promise to myself. I blogged every day. Hell, there were some days that I blogged twice. It wasn't exactly easy but I accomplished it. That is a huge deal for me. I do not know what the new year will bring for me. But, I have prayed that it will be all good things. I usually do not do new years resolutions. But, I have a clear idea of what 2013 needs to hold for me. I pray for more happiness and less sadness, more opportunities to better myself in all aspects. Working on all relationships in my life is a must. I want less stress, more laughter in the new year. Maybe I want to be inspired more. I definitely need to sleep more. I am an admitted night owl. But, I really need to cut that out. Maybe set a designated bed time. I need to be more motivated. Basically, my word for 2013 is more. To be physically, mentally and emotionally better than the previous year is what I am striving for. here are a few others but they are very personal. 2012 is on its way out. I am not sad to see it go considering how awful the last month has been. Happy New Year's Eve!!

Prospero Año Nuevo!

It's officially 2012. Happy New Year to everyone. Or, even better, as the title of this post proclaims "Have a prosperous New Year!" I love beginnings. New Year is always a time to reset and redo. It's the perfect time to fix what was broken or what was left unattended. It the right time to start something new and let go of something old that may not be working. This is the year to do whatever you heart desires. It's just that simple. Embrace the opportunity in front of you. That why its there. I wish for the best in all of us this year. I am confident that this will be a wonderful year, full of exciting new avenues. From my mouth to God's ears. Amen. Hope you all had a great holiday. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

It's A New Day

I have never been big on new years resolutions. I don't see the point of them. But I have been thinking about some changes that I want to make in the new year. I love a lot of things about me. I know that there are some areas of my life that need major improvements. I always take stock of what and who I am. What does 2012 hold for me? For you? I do or know. But, I feel that it could be one of the best years yet. I'm looking forward to it. Before it comes, here are a few things I plan to improve.



I need to change my eating habits. I don't eat a healthy as I should. I have to drink more water and less tea. I don't exercise and that needs to change. Even its just something as small as sit-ups and lunges to begin with. I need to begin a regiment and stick to it. I want to lose weight. But its not about being a size 2 because that's not feasible for me. I want to lose weight to get into shape, tone up and just get back to where I once was. This is something I have to do for myself.



My Bible reading needs to get back on track. I let life get in the way of learning. That cannot happen any more. I am so intrigued by everything in it. I desire to know more. I would love to finish 2012 with my hair fully natural. This is something so dear to me. I will try my best to stick to this as well. It's new and hard but I'm sure it will be perfect. I was tested a lot this year. So maybe next year will be a year full of rewards for passing those tests. I have a bad habits of biting my nails when I'm nervous, anxious, upset, etc. This needs to end in 2012. It's such a nasty, unladylike habit to have. I will conquer it in 2012. I have no choice.



As I say every year, I just want to keep pushing myself to be a better woman in every arena. That is the gist of my pseudo-resolutions. I try to pursue things that improve me. Some days I win, some days I don't. That is the reality of it all. I resolve to just be me in 2012 just as in 2011. The newness of a new year gives us all hope. That makes it all worthwhile. So, here's looking forward to 2012. I hope that it's as great as it is in my head!

Hello 2011!!!

Happy New Year's!!! 2010 is so far gone! Hello and good morning to 2011. I believe that it will be a great year. I am speaking it into existence right now!!

My Year in Preview: Looking Ahead to 2011

It's time to say goodbye to 2010. It was quite a year. I am hopeful, determined, and clearly excited about the new year. Going into 2011, I am the most optimistic that I've ever been. My mind is so clear and fully focused. I know what I want and that I will get it all. I know now that what God has for me is for me. I will meet my future face to face. I plan on moving in the direction of where my future lies. I will continue to nurture and develop my relationship with HIM. I've finally voiced my intense desire to get married and have kids. I want the whole all American family; husband, kids, dog/cat, and a house with a white picket fence (ok maybe not the fence lol). I cannot wait to be pregnant & give birth to my own kids. Specifically, two girls and a boy. I will further my education. I will def be changing career paths. I need to do something fulfilling with my life. I'm sure that writing is it. I will smile more while worrying less. I'm a firm believer in speaking it with your mouth & believing it with your heart. We give life to everything we put out into the universe. I'm finally ready to live my life. I'm excited about my future and all that it entails. I am finally on the road to my destiny. There is no better gift than that for me in 2011. So au revoir & adios to 2010 and bonjour & hola to 2011. I plan on making this year a great one!