The literature lover inside of me wants, desires, needs this now. I want a Kindle. It's Amazon's e-reader. It is the perfect accessory for a woman like me. A woman who reads just about as much as she listens to music. I can carry my library with me every where I go. How great is that?!? The price of the Kindle has dropped considerably since the release of the iPad. Which, for me, works out well. They are priced at $139 and $189. Much more affordable than they once were. If you are a reader like me, it's a great investment. One I know I will reap the rewards for a long time to come. So, take a look at it and get into the Kindle, people!
Music matters. It's just that simple. Music is essential to my life. I love it. I breath it. I need it. It can almost fix any situation to me. Old music is the best. The kind that transports me back to the first itme I heard it. I can remember where I was, who I was with and exactly what I felt when I heard it. Music moves me. It makes me happy.
New music is good as well. I love to hear it and feel it. There is nothing better than hearing a new song. Here's just a few artist, old and new, who have moved me.
Excuse me, I'm having a musical moment. I will be in my feelings for a few minutes. Enjoy!
Destiny's Child's "FTSWID" is about as girly as a song can get when it comes to fully expressing the way females feel when they are laying their heart on the table. I will always feel connected to this track.
Teedra Moses, a fave of mine, has a new song entitled "R U 4 Real?" The lyrics kinda stayed with me since I heard the song last week. I love it cause I get it. We've all been here. Love, feelings, emotions, lust, and like takes us there. In the end, we all just want to know if the person standing in front of us is for real. If he/she is the one. It's hard to sift through all the fake ones to find the man/woman who has your best interest @ heart.
Floetry's "Feelings" is so real. I remember the first time I heard this. I was in Baltimore for my 26th birthday. It felt like something that I could've written. The poetry of it still is so personal.
Jill Scott's "The Way" is a classic track. Is it the way? Lawd, this song!
India Arie's "Beautiful Surprise" is it! I cannot express how much I love this song. The lyrics are wonderful. And, who doesn't love a beautiful surprise in the form of a nice guy ;)
Thanksgiving can mean a lot of different things to people. To me, it's always about family and being thankful for what I have. So, I make sure to remain mindful that no matter what is going on with me, there is someone who has it worse. This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for my family and friends and the love of them all. That's what's real and what matters the most to me. Be thankful people! Enjoy your families and Thanksgiving!
I am an uber Shawn Corey Carter aka Jay-Z fan. That is the only way to describe me. I have been a fan since the first day I heard "Feeling It." I was drawn in by the beat and completely moved by his voice and words. I was sold from that point on. I have every cd he has ever dropped. And, no I don't bootleg Mr. Carter. Nope, not ever lol. So, when I heard that he was finally releasing a book, I was ready. I was a happy as a kid with a new toy when I purchased this book. dream hampton is essentially his ghostwriter for "Decoded." This was another plus in my book. I am a fan of her writing. "Decoded" is a look into one of the best lyrical minds ever. Jay breaks down some of his best songs as well as a few relatively unknown tracks (to some). There are a few personal stories included in the book as well. I have about 50 pages left to read in the book.
I can honestly say that I like Jay even more after getting into his book. And, yes, I am way biased when it comes to him. I mean he is my favorite rapper, number one in my book. My #2 rapper is a far and distant second. I believe any one who is a fan of Hip-Hop in general could get alot of insight into the business from this book. So, get into "Decoded."
It's amazing to me the way things change. I know that the only constant thing is change. It's evolutionary. It is what keeps us going & growing. Some times I forget that. It's been said that people come into your life for one of three reasons: reason, season or lifetime. I've definitely gotten people wrong a few times. The adolescent mistake of trying to make a season person into a lifetime mate. But, what's for you is for you & nothing can change that.
A few years ago, there were people, places, & things, I loved & cherished so deeply. And, today, they basically mean nothing to me. I'm guessing that they all fell into the "reason & season" category of my life. Losing those people hurt me deeply. The memories of those past friends are kinda distorted in my mind. I can hardly remember their voices or laughter. What I distinctively remember are their words. Their words have lasted throughout the years. This, I'm sure, is why they were sent to my life.
I really hope that my words have stuck with them as well. That's a part of the legacy that I'm creating. I don't regret any person that I've encountered good or bad. All of that helped make me into the woman I am. Being a reason or season person serves a great purpose. It may just give purpose to someone. Being a lifetime person is the ultimate gift to both parties. A lifetime of memories, laughter and love sounds like a great journey to take with the right people.
04) Kanye West & Jay-Z "The Joy" 03) Nicki Minaj "Right Thru Me" (the lyrics are dead on!!) 02) Charlie Wilson "You Are" 01) Brian McKnight "What I've Been Looking For"
06) "The Coldest Winter Ever" - Sister Souljah 05) "Flyy Girl" - Omar Tyree 04) "The Red Tent" - Anita Diamant 03) "The Autobiography of Malcolm X" 02) "The Enormous Egg" - Oliver Butterworth 01) "Oh, The Places You'll Go!" - Dr. Seuss
08) New York City
07) Belize
06) Las Vegas, NV
05) Turks & Caicos
04) Venice, Italy
03) Fiji
02) Mykonos Island, Greece
01) A city I used to live in so I can see it through different eyes.
09) My great sense of humor :)
08) Right now, the guy who's always on the other end of the line & text messages :))
07) Spa pedicures.
06) My personality & individual beliefs & morals.
05) My love of the arts (music, poetry, literature, paintings).
04) My ability to express myself through words.
03) My friends.
02) My family.
01) Most importantly, my relationship & faith in God.
Just came across this 10 day challenge. I think I will do it. Get ready!!
Day 1: Ten Things You Wanted/Want To Be When You’re Older Day 2: Nine People/Places/Things You Can’t Live Without Day 3: Eight Places You Want To Visit Day 4: Seven People Who Inspire You? Day 5: Six of Your Favorite Books Day 6: Five Things You Can Eat Everyday Day 7: Four Songs That Describe Your Life Right Now Day 8: Three favorite Cartoon Characters Day 9: Two Movies You Absolutely Love Day 10: One Quote That Describes Your Life Right Now
As a child, I wanted to be:
10) a singer (in a group with my two cousins) 09) an iceskater (though I've never ice skated) 08) a writer (this one is still in me) 07) a lawyer (lasted as well) 06) to work as an executive in the entertainment industry
As I grow older and hopefully wiser, I would like to be:
05) a person who knows how to live outside of her box 04) a linguist ( I want to learn French and Italian) 03) a published author/poet (still working on this) 02) a woman who is well traveled 01) a happy woman (simple as that)
"Black girls rock because we have no other choice." - Iyanla Vanzant
Last night, BET got something so right. They showcase Beverly Bond's "Black Girls Rock." This was big on so many levels. I've been familiar with this movement for about 3 years now. It's a great organization dedicated to teaching Black girls self confidence and self worth. It's an awesome organization.
The show was amazing to me. Nia Long held the hosting duties. She was perfect. It honored Raven-Symone, Missy Elliot, Keke Palmer, Iyanla Vanzant and Ruby Dee. They were performances by Jill Scott, Monica, Keyshia Cole, VV Brown, Shontelle, and Fantasia. The best perfomance of the night was a great cover of Nina Simones "Four Women." It was performed by Jill Scott, Kelly Price, Marsha Ambrosious, and Ledisi.
This show was perfect from beginning to end. I love anything that showcases my people and empowers us. Black Girls Rock does that and so much more. I cannot find any fault with Debra Lee, Viacom or the show last night. It's not often I have that thought when it comes to any BET production.
“BLACK GIRLS ROCK because their possibilities are more powerful than their pain!!” ~ Michaela Angela Davis
“I rock because there’s joy in every breath even when it hurts.” ~ Anika Noni Rose
Nina Simone's "Four Women" performed by Kelly Price, Marsha Ambrosius, Jill Scott, & Ledisi @ Black Girls Rock 2010!
Fear. A word I despise. An emotion that I feel makes me weak & takes away from the woman I am. There isn't much I fear. But, the ones I do have are pretty big. So much so that I feel like one in particular is preventing me from moving forward. That fear is failure. Failure in love to be specific. I think that would be the most tragic thing of all.
I'm afraid of failing at the one thing I know I need. I feel as if I will mess up love the next time it comes my way. The reason why I feel this way is because I feel like I messed it up the last time. I've only been in love once. And, it ended badly on all accounts. I was good & I was bad in that situation. I can't blame everything on him. Thus, being why I'm scared to open myself up to a new situation. I don't wanna hurt someone else. Because you know "hurt people hurt people." I'm to the point that I actually tense up @ the mere thought of it. This isn't good or healthy. Nor is it the life I want for me.
This fear is preventing me from getting to my future, from getting to my happy. I don't want to be the woman with regrets. That's not a life. In ten years, I don't want to look back & wonder what if. I want to be married with kids and enjoying my life. And, not embracing my fear. I know that I'm the only person who can get me from under the weight of my fear. I'm working on it. It's not going away as fast as I would like though. That frustrates me on some level. But, I refuse to give up. Al I can do is pray & push forward. I just hope that the person I'm sure my future lies with is still standing there with his arms open for me when I finally breakthrough. *fingers crossed & paryers sent up*
"The only thing we need to fear is fear itself, nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance." - President Franklin D. Roosevelt
I discovered and fell in love with Ntozake Shange's "For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When The Rainbow Is Enuf" in high school. The poetry spoke to my soul. The hurt, pain, misery, love, life and resiliency jumped off the pages to me. I've seen it performed on stage a few times as well. Each time, it brings me back to the first moment I read it. I stay in love with it. The words and emotions are so raw and untouched and just real. When I heard that it was being optioned for a film,I was excited. When it was revealed that Tyler Perry would be directing it, I wasn't as thrilled. I like Tyler Perry but was skeptical about his take on something so precious and revered by Black women.
As a woman who is completely invested in Ntozake Shange's "For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When The Rainbow Is Enuf," I have conflicting opinions about Tyler's film. He got some points completely correct. In other areas, he dropped the cinematic ball. It was good and it was not so good. After seeing the film, I think I can say I enjoyed it. I did not love it as much as I did the choreopoem when I first read it though.
I loved Kimberly Elise & Michael Ealy's story. It was lifted straight from the choreopoem. They were both exactly their characters. The storyline of Tessa Thompson & Macy Gray didn't really make sense in 2010. Both were good in their roles but the storyline is from 1975 and would be totally different in 2010. I think Tyler could have reworked that some. Phylicia Rashad's talents were wasted in this film to me. Her greatest scene was with Thandie Newton and she completely blew it out of the water. Whoopi's character was insane but she had to be. Whoopi played crazy very well. Janet was stoic and stiff just the way she was supposed to be. I'm not that big of a fan of Janet, the actress. She has this way of smiling when she is crying that disturbs me. Her final scene with her husband, Omari Hardwick was completely unrealistic to me. Her calmness and lack of emotion in her face was counterproductive to the words coming out of her mouth. That scene should have been bigger. Janet's character never broke when a normal person would have.
Anika Noni Rose and Khalil Kain's story was awesome. It felt like the original work. Anika's color was yellow and she was as bright and sunny as the color she portrayed. Khali's character was charming and witty and then completely despicable. The standout character to me was Thandie Newton. She was excellent in her role. From her walk, talk and style of dress, she nailed it. She was the character you wanted to hate but couldn't. Loretta Devine was great in her role as well. She was the character that pulled off the poetry pieces the best. Ntozake's words just came out of her mouth like air. Perfection on that point. Kerry Washington and Hill Harper were great as well in their storyline. The scene where Kerry helps Kimberly scrub the sidewalk was powerful.
I hated that I could tell where Ntozake's original words ended and Tyler's began. There was some disconnect between the authors. It was obvious to me because I am so familiar with the original work. So, it wasn't a great film but there were moments of sheer genius. Tyler, in my opinion, did not do the choreopoem justice. People who aren't familiar with the choreopoem will no doubt love this movie. I can't knock that experience for them. Maybe I am too biased, too vested into the poem. I will probably have to watch it again to see if my feelings will change. I still think people should see and support this film. the good outweighs the bad.
"& this is for colored girls who have considered suicide/but are movin to the ends of their own rainbows" - Ntozake Shange
That's the question I've been asking myself for the last 2 weeks. What's wrong? I really don't know. Maybe it's a little bit of everything. Stress. Fear. Lack of many things. Overindulgence in everything. It's as if my problem is everything and nothing at the same time. I'm very tense these days. No easy and quick way to solve them either.
I'm not a woman who cries. It's just not what I do. I hate it to be honest. So, imagine my surprise, when crying has been my only viable outlet for the last two weeks. I mean what is this about?!? I cried a total of 5 times in 2 days last week. That's beyond abnormal for me. It was weird. I literally sat in the tub & cried for 20 minutes. It was a deep, body shaking, shortness of breath, quiet cry. I couldn't stop myself. And when I was done, I felt a little better. But, I think my biggest issue is the fact that I'm the person people tell their problems to. I'm not the woman who shares her issues with others. I internalize everything. I deal with me because it's the way I've been all my life. It's hard to let people inside of my head & heart. I know that's fear. I also know I'm protecting myself from pain.
I think that I needed to cry. I needed to release all of that from inside of me. By holding so much inside of me, I was hurting me. I'm trying to find a way to stop carrying the world on my shoulders. It's not an easy feat. But, I'm confident that I can do it. I don't wanna have any more tear filled baths. It takes too much out of me. Crying is a normal bodily function. Not crying is not. I know this. I'm still a work in progress. Constantly working on becoming the best me I can be....tears and all lol.
I have no problem admitting that I am very traditional when it comes to certain things. Yes, I'm an independent woman who has no issue going get things for myself. But, I am not who adheres to the new age adage that "I don't need a man." That's bogus and stupid on so many levels. Humans were created as a pair. A partner who was made to complement you. So, in essence, I don't need a man. But, I want one to finish this ride with me.
I will say that up until a few years ago, I was totally anti-baby, anti-marriage. I def didn't have a great view of marriages growing up. I didn't think that any of it was for me. But, somewhere along the line, a lightbulb came on. I realized that I wanted all of these seemingly traditional things because they fit me. I've been the mother of my group since birth essentially. I nuture, I take care of, I handle things, it's who I am.
My Great Grandmother, Frances, has instilled some traditions deep into my head. She was very big on little girls acting like ladies, especially in public. I carry that with me. She also told me to make sure I always keep something just for myself until I meet the one for me. I clearly remember these talks she & I would have sitting at her kitchen table drinking cafe con leche. Well, she would drink coffee and I would drink milk w/a teaspoon of coffee mixed in. These talks help define me. I'm sure she is the reason why I feel so strongly about roles, traditions and values. Even in all my independence, I know the woman that I am. I'm ok with that.
While listening to Trey Songz' "Made To Be Together," I started thinking about the title. It also reminded me of the art piece to the right, which is entitled "Made For Each Other" by WAK. I love both the song and the art piece. The idea of soul mates is where I ended up while thinking of these two.
What does that mean? Does it fall into the whole idea of soul mates? The definition of a soul mate is "a person with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, and/or compatibility." That is one deep connection. I remember reading in Greek mythology that Aristophanes in Plato's Symposium, said that humans originally consisted of four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces. But, Zeus feared their power and split them all in half. Thus, condemning them to spend their lives searching for the other half to complete them: their soul mate. I really like that explanation of soul mates.
My personal opinion is that your soul mate is the person who fits the best with you and what you're about. The person who gets and accepts you for you. I do not believe that anyone is perfect. Nor should the search for a soul mate take one on a journey for perfection. That will just end up with you being alone. And, if you're really, really lucky, you'll find yours and be able to spend the rest of your life happily with this person. That's obviously the romantic in me speaking...loudly!! :)
* I've made more of an effort to sticking to reading the Bible on a daily basis. I was completely enthralled with the book of Matthew and the book of Joshua has my attention now. I feel enlightened in my spiritual journey.
* I've decided to stop worrying so much. In the last week, I was so worried about a situation that is out of my control that I felt physically I'll. That's not healthy for me. So, I'm letting go & letting God.
* I feel like the future that I pctured for myself is still obtainable. That makes me smile with my heart, seriously!
* The romantic in me seems to be winning the tug of war from the pessimist in me...lol. And, I'm ok with that.
* I realize that I'm really wrapped up in a certain situation. I don't see a thing wrong with that thoug.
* I really need to start writing @ least 500 words a day. I know I have a book or 5 inside of my head & heart. I just need to focus on that.
* I'm also trying to curb my bad habits...like being bossy and uber sarcastic and the like. I'm a work in progress though.
This30 day blog challenge has been a very good way for me to write. The topics very varied and I loved them. Some were much easier to write on than others. But, I did them nonetheless. Finishing was a big accomplishment for me and my blogging. I can't express how great it feels to jump head first back into writing on a daily basis. I've been experiencing a bit of writer's block. I think it's safe to say that it's clearly gone now!! Woo-hoo :) So, my parting words to this challenge are as followed. I am thankful and grateful for finding you through other blogs.
Aspirations: a strong desire to achieve something high or great; an object of such desire
I aspire to be:
* a great writer
* a great poet
* a more creative being
* a wife
* a mother
* an informed person
* a better woman than I was yesterday
* a loving, kind woman of God.
These are all on my simple list of things to achieve.
I really, really miss the carefree days of being a kid. No worries, no drama, everything in my kid world was cool even when it wasn't. That's the great innocence of being a child. You are so oblivious to the real ills of the world. That is something that should be bottled and sold. Nostalgia is always good.
I will never forget this date. Never forget that hurricane. The images & feelings are embedded into my DNA now. Five years ago, my entire existence was forever altered. I never thought I'd awake in Galveston to scenes of my city underwater. It was surreal. Sort of akin to having an out of body experience. I couldn't believe that I could not go home. That it wasn't even an option. My family was safe, thank God. I didn't lose anyone personally in the waters of Katrina. We were all spread all over the southern U.S. I ached for home, for family, for familiarity. I got nothing in return. I suffered from anxiety about rain & water. I missed everything that was New Orleans...good, bad & indifferent. It was the place that made me me. I will never forget it. I just want my city to be better than before, to flourish & continue to rise above. I came home because I was heartsick & homesick. But, I think I've been cured of that. Nothing will ever remove that period from my life. Everyone here always refers to tings as post & pre-Katrina. That will forever be the case for my generation.
My favorite spot has always been my Momma Louise's house. Ever since I was a little girl, her house was the place where we all met up. From the porch to her backyard, I have memories attached to every inch of her house. I even lived with her for a year prior to Hurricane Katrina. The house that sits @ #9 will always hold a special place in my heart.
I saw this picture and the words caused me to gasp. I felt them deep in my soul. The words are so true. I'm a thinker and I worry alot. I want to rationalize my feelings. As if love is a rational feeling. I know that what I'm feeling in my heart is real. I cannot deny that. I'm sure I'm just afraid. Fear is one hell of an emotion. But, I know that love is stronger.
