Christmas Spirit?!

Christmas used to be my favorite holiday. The light, the decorations, the music, the vacation from school, the sometimes cold N.O. weather. There was no better holiday in my mind. I felt this way for a really long time. As a kid, it was all about the gifts. As an adult, it was about family & fun. And, maybe a little about the gifts still. Somewhere along the way, my feelings changed.

Since 2006, Christmas has been losing its sparkle to me. I know that's the year it felt different to me. I wasn't with most of my family & I didn't do much. It just wasn't a good year. Ever since that year, I've been less & less enthused with the holiday. Christmas just isn't the same for me anymore.

My only enjoyment during this time of year is because of my two nieces & four nephews. They are all under seven so the sparkle is still bright to them. I love that. They always make me smile. I look forward to their faces more than anything on Christmas. I know that its not about gifts and gadgets. Christmas is & always will be about family to me. That's what & who I chose to focus on.

What's Happy To You?

We are all trying to get to happy. That is the struggle everyday. Happiness is defined differently for everyone. Webster's defines happy as "delighted, pleased, or glad; as over a particular thing; characterized by or indicative of pleasure, contentment or joy." All of this got me to pondering about personal happiness."What's happy for me may not even rate on the scale of happy for the next (wo)man. Someone asked me if I was happy recently. At that very moment, all I could hear in my head was the last few spoken lines of T.I.'s hit song "Why You Wanna." T.I. poses the question to his ex "Is ya happy?" That little three word sentence packs a big punch.

Sometimes we forget to just be happy. It's easy to do so with all of the day to day things that pull us in a thousand different directions. I know I tend to get so caught up in my head and worrying about everyone else that I forget about me. that is the number one issue I am weeding out of my life. I've decided that my happiness comes first as it should. I don't wanna miss any other moment of my life because I'm worried about someone else. This hasn't been an easy notion for me to totally embrace. But, I will not continue to sacrifice my piece of happy to engage in the drama of others any longer. That just won't do going forth.

That question made me start thinking about my idea of happiness. For me, it could be something very simple or something extremely extravagant. I've never left my happiness up to anyone else. I feel like my true happiness only resides in my heart. I responded to the original question with a resounding "Yes, I'm very happy." I truly meant it because I truly feel it. I am at a place in life that I'm happy with me. My personal happiness comes from me no one else. I'm learning to take the time to smell the roses and enjoy my happiness. It's quite an awesome feeling too. I wonder if you have gotten to your personal happiness yet?

The Quintessential December Baby

Today is Tuesday, December 14, 2010. 31 years ago on this day @ 2:39am, I was born.

On this day, I am just thankful for life, grateful for waking up to see another day. I have been overwhelmed with the amount of birthday wishes via texts, calls, and FB postings. I am forever grateful for the love. There is no other way to express that. I am humbled. I don't feel all that well today but I will smile in spite of that. Why shouldn't I?

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

Moment of Music

What My Heart Wants

I'm spoiled. I know this & accept it. I want what I want when I want it. Simple as that. There were a few things that I have never voiced that I really wanted until now. I was never comfortable voicing this intense want. Thought it would make me look and seem a certain way. Recently I've shed that feeling.

I grew up completely shunning the idea of marriage and children. I was the older sister and played mom to everyone. So I was not sold on the whole husband, 2.5 kids, dog and white picket fence. That dream was a fallacy that did not exist in my world. I just didn't see none of that for me. I was told on numerous occasions by multiple family members that "I would change my mind when I grew up." The ages of 18 and 21 came and went without any change. I just wasn't that concerned with that life.

Then, a beautiful little girl was born in 2001. She is my God-daughter. I felt this pull in my heart when I first saw her, first held her on my arms. I harbored that feeling deep within myself. I wasn't in the right place or right relationship to become a Mom. So, I buried it. I gave all of that love to my God-kids. Their love, in return, filled me up. I decided I didn't need to be Mommie because Nanna was just as great. That thought sufficed for years.

But, one can only deny their true feelings for so long. This realization came to me the year I turned 30. This intense need to have kids creeped back to the forefront of my heart. The ironic part of this is that I wasn't in a relationship at all this time. I always thought the whole biological clock ticking thing was a myth. I was dead wrong. I try my best not to mention every baby related thought that crosses my mind. I simply cannot wait to have my own brown babies. I'm completely enthralled with that idea. And, furthermore, I want the great marriage too. I guess in that way, I'm more traditional than I believed. I just know that my heart yearns for this life. I know that it's my destiny.

My Ten Things

10 Things I wish I could say to 10 people right now.

10. So I played you. Now you know how it feels. Deal or don't. I don't care anymore.
9. Lmao...seriously??
8. You aren't the brightest crayon in the box.
7. I don't like to be used. That's why "no" is the only word you'll hear from now on..
6. Stop bragging. It's annoying & mad childish. News flash, no one cares, hon.
5. I miss you, my friend. But this is the way it has to be.
4. When are you going get it?
3. I attempted to give a f- ck & failed miserably.
2. Yes, I know I'm smarter than you. So stop talking to me b/c I think I'm gonna catch stupidity from you.
1. I think....Te amo.

9 Things about me.

9. I'm a reluctant romantic.
8. I'm all about spa pedicures.
7. Reading a great book & a glass of wine will always be my definition of a good night alone.
6. I wanna get pierced & soon.
5. I would love to live abroad.
4. I love shrimp even though I'm allergic.
3. Music is e-very-thing.
2. I listen as well as hear what's said & unsaid.
1. I people watch.

8 Ways to win my friendship.

8. Be yourself.
7. Realize that I'm always in my head.
6. Get & accept my off the wall sense of humor & special brand of sarcasm.
5. Realize that sometimes I need to be the one who needs encouragement & to be held.
4. Have my back @ all times.
3. Laugh a lot.
2. Talk as well as listen.
1. Love me for me.

7 Things that cross my mind.

7. What's next?
6. I'm so over this & here.
5. I need to write more.
4. Is my Daddy proud of me?
3. I really need to get my Masters.
2. Am I really ready for what's being offered?
1. Really?

6 Things I do before bed.

6. Take a bath.
5. Brush my teeth.
4. Check alarm.
3. Set the air/heat to auto.
2. Watch HH on HGTV.
1. Talk to HIM.

5 People who mean a lot.

5. BFF's.
4. HIM.
3. Siblings.
2. Mom.
1. God.

4 Things I'm wearing right now.

4. Wife Beater & some socks :)
3. Strawberry Lip Gloss.
2. Silk Head Scarf.
1. Headphones.

3 Songs I listen to often.

3. Algebra " At This Time"
2. India.Aire "Beautiful Surprise" & "The Truth"
1. Jay-Z "Never Change"

2 Things I want to do before I die.

2. Write that book.
1. Explore every possible avenue with HIM.

1 Confession.

1. I've never been this excited about something...ever!

What's In A Name?

Baby. Sweetheart. Honey. Boo. Pumpkin. Sweetie. Love. All terms of endearment. When said by the right person, they can make one's heart swell and plaster the biggest grin on one's face as well. So exactly what's in a name?? It's something special between two people in a relationship. Its private and can be their secret.

I was never fond of cutesy nicknames. However, I had an epiphany the other day. I wasn't particularly fond of them because they never felt real to me until now. I guess its true what they say. It takes the right person to say that one word to you and you just feel it. It's akin to hearing the words for the first time. Mushy? Yes. Truthful? Undeniably. But, again it's something so special between two people who feel deeply for each other. That is a great thing to me.

Get Into It: Amazon Kindle

The literature lover inside of me wants, desires, needs this now. I want a Kindle. It's Amazon's e-reader. It is the perfect accessory for a woman like me. A woman who reads just about as much as she listens to music. I can carry my library with me every where I go. How great is that?!? The price of the Kindle has dropped considerably since the release of the iPad. Which, for me, works out well. They are priced at $139 and $189. Much more affordable than they once were. If you are a reader like me, it's a great investment. One I know I will reap the rewards for a long time to come. So, take a look at it and get into the Kindle, people!

Music Matters

Music matters. It's just that simple. Music is essential to my life. I love it. I breath it. I need it. It can almost fix any situation to me. Old music is the best. The kind that transports me back to the first itme I heard it. I can remember where I was, who I was with and exactly what I felt when I heard it. Music moves me. It makes me happy.

New music is good as well. I love to hear it and feel it. There is nothing better than hearing a new song. Here's just a few artist, old and new, who have moved me.

• Jay-Z (will never ever get old to me)
• Beyonce
• Kanye
• Drake
• J. Cole
• Big Sean
• Ne-yo
• Monica
• Corinne Bailey Rae
• Chrisette Michele
• Marsha Ambrosius
• Nicki Minaj
• The Foreign Exchange
• Algebra Bassett
• Erin Christine
• Mylah
• Jazmine Sullivan
• Teedra Moses
• Brian McKnight

Moment of Music

Excuse me, I'm having a musical moment. I will be in my feelings for a few minutes. Enjoy!



Destiny's Child's "FTSWID" is about as girly as a song can get when it comes to fully expressing the way females feel when they are laying their heart on the table. I will always feel connected to this track.



Teedra Moses, a fave of mine, has a new song entitled "R U 4 Real?" The lyrics kinda stayed with me since I heard the song last week. I love it cause I get it. We've all been here. Love, feelings, emotions, lust, and like takes us there. In the end, we all just want to know if the person standing in front of us is for real. If he/she is the one. It's hard to sift through all the fake ones to find the man/woman who has your best interest @ heart.



Floetry's "Feelings" is so real. I remember the first time I heard this. I was in Baltimore for my 26th birthday. It felt like something that I could've written. The poetry of it still is so personal.



Jill Scott's "The Way" is a classic track. Is it the way? Lawd, this song!



India Arie's "Beautiful Surprise" is it! I cannot express how much I love this song. The lyrics are wonderful. And, who doesn't love a beautiful surprise in the form of a nice guy ;)

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Thanksgiving can mean a lot of different things to people. To me, it's always about family and being thankful for what I have. So, I make sure to remain mindful that no matter what is going on with me, there is someone who has it worse. This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for my family and friends and the love of them all. That's what's real and what matters the most to me. Be thankful people! Enjoy your families and Thanksgiving!

Get Into It: Jay Z & dream hampton's "Decoded"

I am an uber Shawn Corey Carter aka Jay-Z fan. That is the only way to describe me. I have been a fan since the first day I heard "Feeling It." I was drawn in by the beat and completely moved by his voice and words. I was sold from that point on. I have every cd he has ever dropped. And, no I don't bootleg Mr. Carter. Nope, not ever lol. 

So, when I heard that he was finally releasing a book, I was ready. I was a happy as a kid with a new toy when I purchased this book. dream hampton is essentially his ghostwriter for "Decoded." This was another plus in my book. I am a fan of her writing. "Decoded" is a look into one of the best lyrical minds ever. Jay breaks down some of his best songs as well as a few relatively unknown tracks (to some). There are a few personal stories included in the book as well. I have about 50 pages left to read in the book.

I can honestly say that I like Jay even more after getting into his book. And, yes, I am way biased when it comes to him. I mean he is my favorite rapper, number one in my book. My #2 rapper is a far and distant second. I believe any one who is a fan of Hip-Hop in general could get alot of insight into the business from this book. So, get into "Decoded."

Reason, Season, Lifetime...

It's amazing to me the way things change. I know that the only constant thing is change. It's evolutionary. It is what keeps us going & growing. Some times I forget that. It's been said that people come into your life for one of three reasons: reason, season or lifetime. I've definitely gotten people wrong a few times. The adolescent mistake of trying to make a season person into a lifetime mate. But, what's for you is for you & nothing can change that.

A few years ago, there were people, places, & things, I loved & cherished so deeply. And, today, they basically mean nothing to me. I'm guessing that they all fell into the "reason & season" category of my life. Losing those people hurt me deeply. The memories of those past friends are kinda distorted in my mind. I can hardly remember their voices or laughter. What I distinctively remember are their words. Their words have lasted throughout the years. This, I'm sure, is why they were sent to my life.

I really hope that my words have stuck with them as well. That's a part of the legacy that I'm creating. I don't regret any person that I've encountered good or bad. All of that helped make me into the woman I am. Being a reason or season person serves a great purpose. It may just give purpose to someone. Being a lifetime person is the ultimate gift to both parties. A lifetime of memories, laughter and love sounds like a great journey to take with the right people.

Day 10: One Quote That Describes Your Life Right Now

Day 9: Two Movies You Absolutely Love

02) "Clueless"

01) "Beaches"

Day 8: Three Favorite Cartoon Characters

03) Jem
02) Rainbow Brite
01) Strawberry Shortcake

Day 7: Four Songs That Describe Your Life Right Now

04) Kanye West & Jay-Z "The Joy"
03) Nicki Minaj "Right Thru Me" (the lyrics are dead on!!)
02) Charlie Wilson "You Are"
01) Brian McKnight "What I've Been Looking For"

Day 6: Five Things You Can Eat Everyday

05) Chipotle wings.
04) Crab and corn bisque.
03) Pasta.
02) Strawberries.
01) Shrimps...even though I'm allergic lol.

Day 5: Six of Your Favorite Books

06) "The Coldest Winter Ever" - Sister Souljah
05) "Flyy Girl" - Omar Tyree
04) "The Red Tent" - Anita Diamant
03) "The Autobiography of Malcolm X"
02) "The Enormous Egg" - Oliver Butterworth
01) "Oh, The Places You'll Go!" - Dr. Seuss

Day 4: Seven People Who Inspire You?

07) Shawn Carter
06) Nikki Giovanni
05) Barack Obama
04) Myself :)
03) My nieces & nephews
02) My Aunt Gina
01) My Mom

Day 3: Eight Places You Want To Visit

08) New York City
07) Belize
06) Las Vegas, NV
05) Turks & Caicos
04) Venice, Italy
03) Fiji
02) Mykonos Island, Greece
01) A city I used to live in so I can see it through different eyes.

Day 2: Nine People/Places/Things You Can’t Live Without

09) My great sense of humor :)
08) Right now, the guy who's always on the other end of the line & text messages :))
07) Spa pedicures.
06) My personality & individual beliefs & morals.
05) My love of the arts (music, poetry, literature, paintings).
04) My ability to express myself through words.
03) My friends.
02) My family.
01) Most importantly, my relationship & faith in God.

Day 1: Ten Things You Wanted/Want To Be When You’re Older

Just came across this 10 day challenge. I think I will do it. Get ready!!

Day 1: Ten Things You Wanted/Want To Be When You’re Older
Day 2: Nine People/Places/Things You Can’t Live Without
Day 3: Eight Places You Want To Visit
Day 4: Seven People Who Inspire You?
Day 5: Six of Your Favorite Books
Day 6: Five Things You Can Eat Everyday
Day 7: Four Songs That Describe Your Life Right Now
Day 8: Three favorite Cartoon Characters
Day 9: Two Movies You Absolutely Love
Day 10: One Quote That Describes Your Life Right Now

As a child, I wanted to be:

10) a singer (in a group with my two cousins)
09) an iceskater (though I've never ice skated)
08) a writer (this one is still in me)
07) a lawyer (lasted as well)
06) to work as an executive in the entertainment industry

As I grow older and hopefully wiser, I would like to be:

05) a person who knows how to live outside of her box
04) a linguist ( I want to learn French and Italian)
03) a published author/poet (still working on this)
02) a woman who is well traveled
01) a happy woman (simple as that)

Black Girls Rock

"Black girls rock because we have no other choice." - Iyanla Vanzant

Last night, BET got something so right. They showcase Beverly Bond's "Black Girls Rock." This was big on so many levels. I've been familiar with this movement for about 3 years now. It's a great organization dedicated to teaching Black girls self confidence and self worth. It's an awesome organization.

The show was amazing to me. Nia Long held the hosting duties. She was perfect. It honored Raven-Symone, Missy Elliot, Keke Palmer, Iyanla Vanzant and Ruby Dee. They were performances by Jill Scott, Monica, Keyshia Cole, VV Brown, Shontelle, and Fantasia. The best perfomance of the night was a great cover of Nina Simones "Four Women." It was performed by Jill Scott, Kelly Price, Marsha Ambrosious, and Ledisi.

This show was perfect from beginning to end. I love anything that showcases my people and empowers us. Black Girls Rock does that and so much more. I cannot find any fault with Debra Lee, Viacom or the show last night. It's not often I have that thought when it comes to any BET production.

“BLACK GIRLS ROCK because their possibilities are more powerful than their pain!!” ~ Michaela Angela Davis

“I rock because there’s joy in every breath even when it hurts.” ~ Anika Noni Rose



Nina Simone's "Four Women" performed by Kelly Price, Marsha Ambrosius, Jill Scott, & Ledisi @ Black Girls Rock 2010!

Frozen Fear

Fear. A word I despise. An emotion that I feel makes me weak & takes away from the woman I am. There isn't much I fear. But, the ones I do have are pretty big. So much so that I feel like one in particular is preventing me from moving forward. That fear is failure. Failure in love to be specific. I think that would be the most tragic thing of all.

I'm afraid of failing at the one thing I know I need. I feel as if I will mess up love the next time it comes my way. The reason why I feel this way is because I feel like I messed it up the last time. I've only been in love once. And, it ended badly on all accounts. I was good & I was bad in that situation. I can't blame everything on him. Thus, being why I'm scared to open myself up to a new situation. I don't wanna hurt someone else. Because you know "hurt people hurt people." I'm to the point that I actually tense up @ the mere thought of it. This isn't good or healthy. Nor is it the life I want for me.

This fear is preventing me from getting to my future, from getting to my happy. I don't want to be the woman with regrets. That's not a life. In ten years, I don't want to look back & wonder what if. I want to be married with kids and enjoying my life. And, not embracing my fear. I know that I'm the only person who can get me from under the weight of my fear. I'm working on it. It's not going away as fast as I would like though. That frustrates me on some level. But, I refuse to give up. Al I can do is pray & push forward. I just hope that the person I'm sure my future lies with is still standing there with his arms open for me when I finally breakthrough. *fingers crossed & paryers sent up*


"The only thing we need to fear is fear itself, nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance." - President Franklin D. Roosevelt

For Colored Girls

I discovered and fell in love with Ntozake Shange's "For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When The Rainbow Is Enuf" in high school. The poetry spoke to my soul. The hurt, pain, misery, love, life and resiliency jumped off the pages to me. I've seen it performed on stage a few times as well. Each time, it brings me back to the first moment I read it. I stay in love with it. The words and emotions are so raw and untouched and just real. When I heard that it was being optioned for a film,I was excited. When it was revealed that Tyler Perry would be directing it, I wasn't as thrilled. I like Tyler Perry but was skeptical about his take on something so precious and revered by Black women.

As a woman who is completely invested in Ntozake Shange's "For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When The Rainbow Is Enuf," I have conflicting opinions about Tyler's film. He got some points completely correct. In other areas, he dropped the cinematic ball. It was good and it was not so good. After seeing the film, I think I can say I enjoyed it. I did not love it as much as I did the choreopoem when I first read it though.

I loved Kimberly Elise & Michael Ealy's story. It was lifted straight from the choreopoem. They were both exactly their characters. The storyline of Tessa Thompson & Macy Gray didn't really make sense in 2010. Both were good in their roles but the storyline is from 1975 and would be totally different in 2010. I think Tyler could have reworked that some. Phylicia Rashad's talents were wasted in this film to me. Her greatest scene was with Thandie Newton and she completely blew it out of the water. Whoopi's character was insane but she had to be. Whoopi played crazy very well. Janet was stoic and stiff just the way she was supposed to be. I'm not that big of a fan of Janet, the actress. She has this way of smiling when she is crying that disturbs me. Her final scene with her husband, Omari Hardwick was completely unrealistic to me. Her calmness and lack of emotion in her face was counterproductive to the words coming out of her mouth. That scene should have been bigger. Janet's character never broke when a normal person would have.

Anika Noni Rose and Khalil Kain's story was awesome. It felt like the original work. Anika's color was yellow and she was as bright and sunny as the color she portrayed. Khali's character was charming and witty and then completely despicable. The standout character to me was Thandie Newton. She was excellent in her role. From her walk, talk and style of dress, she nailed it. She was the character you wanted to hate but couldn't. Loretta Devine was great in her role as well. She was the character that pulled off the poetry pieces the best. Ntozake's words just came out of her mouth like air. Perfection on that point. Kerry Washington and Hill Harper were great as well in their storyline. The scene where Kerry helps Kimberly scrub the sidewalk was powerful.

I hated that I could tell where Ntozake's original words ended and Tyler's began. There was some disconnect between the authors. It was obvious to me because I am so familiar with the original work. So, it wasn't a great film but there were moments of sheer genius. Tyler, in my opinion, did not do the choreopoem justice. People who aren't familiar with the choreopoem will no doubt love this movie. I can't knock that experience for them. Maybe I am too biased, too vested into the poem. I will probably have to watch it again to see if my feelings will change. I still think people should see and support this film. the good outweighs the bad.

"& this is for colored girls who have considered suicide/but are movin to the ends of their own rainbows" - Ntozake Shange

What's Wrong?

That's the question I've been asking myself for the last 2 weeks. What's wrong? I really don't know. Maybe it's a little bit of everything. Stress. Fear. Lack of many things. Overindulgence in everything. It's as if my problem is everything and nothing at the same time. I'm very tense these days. No easy and quick way to solve them either.

I'm not a woman who cries. It's just not what I do. I hate it to be honest. So, imagine my surprise, when crying has been my only viable outlet for the last two weeks. I mean what is this about?!? I cried a total of 5 times in 2 days last week. That's beyond abnormal for me. It was weird. I literally sat in the tub & cried for 20 minutes. It was a deep, body shaking, shortness of breath, quiet cry. I couldn't stop myself. And when I was done, I felt a little better. But, I think my biggest issue is the fact that I'm the person people tell their problems to. I'm not the woman who shares her issues with others. I internalize everything. I deal with me because it's the way I've been all my life. It's hard to let people inside of my head & heart. I know that's fear. I also know I'm protecting myself from pain.

I think that I needed to cry. I needed to release all of that from inside of me. By holding so much inside of me, I was hurting me. I'm trying to find a way to stop carrying the world on my shoulders. It's not an easy feat. But, I'm confident that I can do it. I don't wanna have any more tear filled baths. It takes too much out of me. Crying is a normal bodily function. Not crying is not. I know this. I'm still a work in progress. Constantly working on becoming the best me I can be....tears and all lol.

Traditions

I have no problem admitting that I am very traditional when it comes to certain things. Yes, I'm an independent woman who has no issue going get things for myself. But, I am not who adheres to the new age adage that "I don't need a man." That's bogus and stupid on so many levels. Humans were created as a pair. A partner who was made to complement you. So, in essence, I don't need a man. But, I want one to finish this ride with me.

I will say that up until a few years ago, I was totally anti-baby, anti-marriage. I def didn't have a great view of marriages growing up. I didn't think that any of it was for me. But, somewhere along the line, a lightbulb came on. I realized that I wanted all of these seemingly traditional things because they fit me. I've been the mother of my group since birth essentially. I nuture, I take care of, I handle things, it's who I am.

My Great Grandmother, Frances, has instilled some traditions deep into my head. She was very big on little girls acting like ladies, especially in public. I carry that with me. She also told me to make sure I always keep something just for myself until I meet the one for me. I clearly remember these talks she & I would have sitting at her kitchen table drinking cafe con leche. Well, she would drink coffee and I would drink milk w/a teaspoon of coffee mixed in. These talks help define me. I'm sure she is the reason why I feel so strongly about roles, traditions and values. Even in all my independence, I know the woman that I am. I'm ok with that.

Made To Be Together

While listening to Trey Songz' "Made To Be Together," I started thinking about the title. It also reminded me of the art piece to the right, which is entitled "Made For Each Other" by WAK. I love both the song and the art piece. The idea of soul mates is where I ended up while thinking of these two.

What does that mean? Does it fall into the whole idea of soul mates? The definition of a soul mate is "a person with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, and/or compatibility." That is one deep connection. I remember reading in Greek mythology that Aristophanes in Plato's Symposium, said that humans originally consisted of four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces. But, Zeus feared their power and split them all in half. Thus, condemning them to spend their lives searching for the other half to complete them: their soul mate. I really like that explanation of soul mates.

My personal opinion is that your soul mate is the person who fits the best with you and what you're about. The person who gets and accepts you for you. I do not believe that anyone is perfect. Nor should the search for a soul mate take one on a journey for perfection. That will just end up with you being alone. And, if you're really, really lucky, you'll find yours and be able to spend the rest of your life happily with this person. That's obviously the romantic in me speaking...loudly!! :)

Random Thoughts

* I've made more of an effort to sticking to reading the Bible on a daily basis. I was completely enthralled with the book of Matthew and the book of Joshua has my attention now. I feel enlightened in my spiritual journey.

* I've decided to stop worrying so much. In the last week, I was so worried about a situation that is out of my control that I felt physically I'll. That's not healthy for me. So, I'm letting go & letting God.

* I feel like the future that I pctured for myself is still obtainable. That makes me smile with my heart, seriously!

* The romantic in me seems to be winning the tug of war from the pessimist in me...lol. And, I'm ok with that.

* I realize that I'm really wrapped up in a certain situation. I don't see a thing wrong with that thoug.

* I really need to start writing @ least 500 words a day. I know I have a book or 5 inside of my head & heart. I just need to focus on that.

* I'm also trying to curb my bad habits...like being bossy and uber sarcastic and the like. I'm a work in progress though.