Last Night A DJ Saved My Life...

...well not really but he definitely made me move. I went to a club for the first time in a long time. And, another first, I was in the club with all of my siblings (who are of legal age). Now, for me being the oldest, this was a big deal. Huge. I felt like a proud mommy! I've watched them all grow up. I remember holding all four of them as babies. We were all out & about for my youngest brothers birthday. It was definitely a celebration. Especially since I haven't seen my brother in about 5 years.

The party was a success in more ways than one. Good friends and drinks were a plus. Most importantly, we took a siblings picture. We haven't done that in a minute. And, the dj went into this throwback set that made my night. I mean tracks I haven't heard years. I drank Coconut & Peach Ciroc all night. Maybe I had one too many drinks but fun was indeed had. I was in a giggly mood after that. I had a great time. I came home with no voice but this smile that cannot be duplicated. I really loved my sisters & brothers. They are all really great individuals. I'm blessed to be their older sister. So,in actuality, a dj didn't save my life but he provided a great soundtrack to what was definitely a hell of a great night.

Mega Million Dollar Dream

Do you play the lottery? The Mega Millions tickets are being bought up like hotcakes. Everyone is clamoring for a piece of that $540 million dollar dream. I am not a gambling chick. I go to casinos for the free drinks and the buffets. I've never been big on throwing away money. That's what the lottery represents to me. The odds are ridiculous when it comes to actually being a big winner. I'm the girl who brings a set amount of money to the casino. I do not like to lose my money. The lottery in all forms feel like a huge swindle to me. I've purchased a bunch of scratch offs over the years. Those are fun. But, again, it's not something I do often. It's easy to get caught up in the winning free money hype. I mean, how could one not? The allure of winning enough money to set one up for life is sometimes to hard to ignore.

Today, on the advise of someone I love, I indulged in a Mega Millions ticket or two. I mean, it is up to $540 million dollars. That is an insane amount of money. I cannot even wrap my mind on that type of money. So, I allowed myself to dream a little. There's no way I could spend that kind of money in my lifetime. On the advise of my financial advisor, I would initially invest 85% of it. I would let it draw interest for me. I would build the house of my dreams. I mean everything I've ever wanted in a home would be in it. My house would be my favorite places to be. I would, of course, take care of my family. I would finally scratch this international travel itch that I've had since I was 13. I would just want to live comfortably for the rest of my days. Be a stay at home Mom to my future kids while writing the books that the world craves. Nothing truly extravagant. No ridiculously expensive cars or over priced clothes. Jewelry would be an investment *wink*

I've seen too many shows about Lottery winners who end up broke. That makes no sense to me. I wouldn't, however, be an open bank for family and friends. I'm sure that's how a good portion of lottery winners go broke. I would want to make sure that my kids are taking care of for life. I wouldn't want them to want for anything ever. Not that I would spoil them...too much. The money would make life easier. But I wouldn't bet my happiness on it. In the words of B.I.G., "more money, more problems." Being able to provide for my family would make me immensely happy though. The Mega Millions lottery is a huge pie in the sky dream. $540 million dollars could buy a lot of dreams. Go head, but a piece of that dream!!

Condoms in a Marriage??

I was reading a discussion on Facebook where a rather odd question was posed. Condoms while married: Yay or Nay? I say it's odd because why would I want my husband to use a condom? We're married in this scenario, right? If you've spent you're sexual life being safe and protected, one of the rewards of marriage is not having to do that. I didn't plan on using condoms AFTER marriage. It's just not an option or even a thought.

The second part of the discussion was about making a unilateral decision about NOT having kids. I know that having children isn't for everyone. And, if someone has decided that they fall into this category, then I applaud them. But, to be married and make that final decision without any discussion with your mate is beyond selfish and just wrong. I know I wouldn't marry a man who didn't want kids because I do. I couldn't sacrifice that for any one. It's what I want. I also wouldn't be with someone that I have to force into anything. The decision to have children is serious and life changing. It's not a fly by night decision.

I found the question ridiculous on many levels. As well as the reasoning behind it. I just couldn't believe it when I read it. Condoms in a marriage are no bueno for me. When it comes to birth control once I'm married, I will pop a pill. I will take responsibility for that. I think that would be the easiest, most efficient thing. The discussion about children would happen way before marriage became a topic. I guess I'm just wired differently. Things work out another way in my head. This discussion was very odd to me as well as other folks. They seemed to are with me. What say you? Yay or nay to condoms in a marriage. Let's dish people!

So Difficult

I am a talker. I love words and conversations. But sometimes it's hard to find the words and formulate the sentences. It's not because I don't know what I want to say or ask. It has more to do with the fact that I know that once it's said it can't be unsaid. Once I speak, I give power to my words. It's taken me a long time to truly grasp that concept. I'm more careful with my words.

I've also learned that the "Hardest thing to say is usually worth saying." (via @KarenCivil) It's very true. We've all had those difficult conversations filled with questions who's answers could crush us. When your heart's involved, the words carry much weight. I am also a worrywart. I think and rethink about what I want to say and how I want to say it before I ever do. It's just very important to me.

I also believe that all these difficult conversations can lead to better, more fulfilled lives. People have to get through them to get through life. It's never easy during the process. But the end result is always worth it. Because, at least, now you know. Now, you can decide what comes next. For some that means to stay and fight. For others, it means to cut your loses and run. Either way, a decision can be made. Difficult situations are a part of life. How you respond to them determines who you are. For that reason alone, I take them on. I need to grow. This is the only way, by going through.

Spring Has Sprung

Spring has officially sprung in the N.O. Granted, we didn't truly have a harsh winter. We had a few colder days. No really freezing ones, definitely no snowy ones. But, spring has finally shined its sun on us here. The weather is completely warm. The rain has shown up weekly. The trees are blooming as re the flowers. I think I had forgotten how nice Spring can be. I like that the weather has been consistently one way. Which, by the way, isn't always a guarantee in my city. One can't help but to be happy when the weather's really good. It just makes me feel better. The sun shining brightly makes me happy inside out. Springtime is slowly becoming one of my favorite seasons. How could you not love it? Enjoy this great Spring day people!

Drunk On Love

Being in love is a great feeling. Every day it feels different and new. But, I've heard the expression "being drunk on love" a lot lately. And, it's always discussed in a negative way. I'm beginning to believe that it's only that way when others aren't in love. When I think of the words of the phrase, I dissect it word by word. When I'm drunk, I'm extra silly, extra sappy, very in touch with my feelings. I define "love" in many ways. All of them are positive. So why wouldn't I think that being drunk on love is a great thing. Of course I would.

Relationships can be hard work. But, some times they aren't. Love can be really easy. I think that I fall into the category of being drunk on love. It has to be because of the person I'm loving. It's crazy how right it feels. It just works I have no problem saying that I like spending all my free time with him. He's the person I want to talk to everyday. It just worked out this way. So maybe others may not get it. But as for me, nothing else feels correct. I'm going to sip from this drink called love for many more days, years. I happen to enjoy it. Why not get drunk on love?

Twitter Killed The Celebrity

I remember when I first heard of Twitter. I joined that same day. My first celebrity follow was Solange. I've never regretted that follow. I was already a fan. Twitter made me like her more. That's the way it is with Twitter. It can make you love a celebrity or hate them. It gives you so much access to them. Too much access is clearly a bad thing. I so long for the days when celebrities were an anomaly. I want those days back. I've decided to unfollow most celebs that I like I was order to save that feeling.

When I say that Twitter killed the celebrity, I mean their image. Before Twitter, I was a huge fan of Tyrese. Dude was gorgeous with his chocolate brown skin, inviting smile, and voice of an angel. I loved his music and his films. And, then I made the fatal mistake of following him. I realized that dude was an idiot who couldn't spell to save his life. Oh and he fancies himself a relationship guru. This would be fine if he was in successful relationship/marriage. But he isn't. I can no longer take him serious. So I had to unfollow him. He isn't the only one. There are the celebs who cannot spell or speak correct English or they retweet every compliment tweeted their way. It's beyond annoying and kind of narcissistic. Erykah Badu, Diddy, Jay Electronica, Toya Wright, and Keyshia Cole all fall into that category as well.

I love the interaction that Twitter allows. It's a great social media tool. But, like every thing else, it has its down falls. You gotta take the good with the bad. It takes a while to get a feel of who a celebrity really is. Twitter can also make you a fan of someone that you weren't before. I know I love Rihanna on Twitter. She is hilarious. She is a great follow. But, for some celebrities, Twitter will be their demise. It's inevitable. It will continue to be interesting to witness. Stay tuned.

"Come Shoot Me Clothes" Really?

Geraldo Rivera stated yesterday that "His hoodie killed Trayvon Martin as surely as George Zimmerman." As well as "Its not blaming the victim Its common sense-look like a gangsta &some armed schmuck will take you at your word."

A hoodie killed Trayvon? Is that right? Blaming the victims clothing is just about the most ignorant thing I've heard about this case. So Trayvon's clothing and not the overzealous idiot with a gun killed him? I cannot wrap my mind around people who fail to see reality for what it is. There is no grey area in this case. It is cut and dry, black and white. I'm sure that Trayvon could've been wearing any article of clothing and his killer Zimmerman would have found issue with it.

We are talking about a man who repeatedly called 911 to report any and every young Black man as suspicious. He even called the police on a 7 year old Black kid. The man had an issue with young Black men. That makes him a racist. Killing an unarmed Trayvon makes him a murderer. I don't know anyone who doesn't wear hoodies. They are warm and practical. Who doesn't own one or four? In the words of journalist Charles M. Blow, "there are no come shoot me clothes."

Furthermore, Black people have feared white people in hoods for decades. That doesn't give us the right to kill them. A hoodie did not nor could not kill Trayvon Martin. There is only one person responsible for that: George Zimmerman. Just as an Arizona tea and a bag of Skittles aren't a weapon or cause for suspicion. Murderers belong in jail. You can't arrest a hoodie. That is the reality. Trayvon was suspicious for one reason only: he was Black in a community that wasn't. That was his only crime, which isn't even one. I'm still upset about this. Excuse me while I pull my hoodie on.

Excessive PDA?

PDA. Public displays of affection. How much is too much? I can admit that I'm ok with PDA...to an extent. I cannot stand to see a couple basically putting on a show in public. Everything isn't supposed to be viewed by everyone. What goes on between a couple should stay between that couple. Excessive kissing, groping, touching and anything else is just gross and very uncouth. I've never been that girl. I won't ahy away from holding hands, light kissing, or a sly touch or two. But, I like private things, for the most part, to stay that way.



I think its funny that the older I get, the more traditional I seem to be. There is nothing sexy about making out like teenagers in places where people have their kids. It makes one look rather loose. That's never a good look. I'm also one of the people who always think that couples who are into over the top PDA should kindly get a clue and find a room. I guess I was raised differently. My Mom did not play that. It wasn't something I ever felt the need to rebel against. Is that kind of PDA a good thing? I'm not sure. I just don't think that everyone should see me in that light. That's only for my guy's eyes. Too much is just that. I like to keep that between he and I. I mean, it's no one else's business. What say you guys? Yay or nay on excessive PDA?

Rain is Needed to Appreciate Rainbows

Sometimes I get into these moods that I can't shake. I don't like it at all. I think it comes with the territory of being a creative person. Writers can be some of the most tortured people. We're inside of our heads a lot. It's hard to stop that habit because it is inherently a piece of our personality. Even before I knew that writing was my passion, I contemplated everything a lot. Let me just say, I was a very interesting, serious kid. Back then, I didn't know why I was that way. I didn't know that worrying so much then would cause me so much headache later in life. I just knew this is who I was. The little girl who thought about every possibility. The rain today has promptly sparked this mood. Getting caught in it definitely did not help. Being cold and wet is never a good combination, not even on a good day.



That little girl grew into a woman who's now extremely conscious of everything. I think about what I say and how I say it often. I play out every possible scenario in my mind beforehand. When I'm overcome by a solemn mood, it's hard to shake. I'm always wondering about my level of happiness and how much of it do I inflict on others. Like does my presence alone make them happy? Now, I'm not concerned with people on general, just the ones I love. The way I am perceived and received means a lot to me. Sometimes it's easier for me to stay turned into myself because I know that I will and won't do. Things are easier that way. But that's not how life truly works. I'm just in a really weird mood and the rain is aiding it. I know I'll stop being overly sensitive and pensive soon. But these are some of my rambling thoughts that run through my brain when I'm feeling some kinda way. Every day isn't all sunshine and blue skies. I know that in order to appreciate the rainbow, I gotta put up with the rain. And, no matter how bad, weird my dy has been, the best part of my day is hearing the one voice that makes everything better. It's so crazy how one person can make me smile about everything. So instead of being all inside my head, I am now enjoying the rain and listening to the voice and smiling.

This blog post was brought to you by this terribly nasty weather here in Louisiana. Ugh, I'm over it!

Get Into It: BGB

I joined a unique group on Facebook today. That group is "Black Girls Blogging." It is a community of Black women bloggers. A place to congregate, share ideas and expose our blogs to others. I've spent the last hour just reading the posts on the page. It's gotten me excited again. I know how much I enjoy writing & blogging. But, it can be easy to become complacent in my ideas. So far this year, I've been able to stick to my pledge of blogging everyday. It has not always been easy. I can't wait to see if this new community inspires me more and sparks more ideas within me.

I'm excited to get to know other bloggers and visit their blogs as well. I love to read as much as I love to write. So, this can only be a win/win right? I'm thankful for the twitter retweet that brought this group to my attention. Inspiration is something that I'm constantly looking for as well as constantly need. It's like air to a writer, to any artist who cares about their craft. So, this post is for any other Black Girls Blogging who happen to read this. If you're on Facebook, this group is worth checking out. I hope we can all get the most out of it while enjoying the company.

Classic Music: Erykah Badu "Baduizm"

I remember vividly when I first heard Erykah Badu. I was at practice and Q93 played "On & On." From the first listen, I was a fan. Erykah didn't sound like anyone else on the radio. When I first saw her, she didn't look like anyone else either. She had a sound, tone, message that was all her own. You could tell this after one listen to her debut cd "Baduizm." I remember pressing play and never skipping a song. It was musically perfection. Every song made me feel something different and new. I was hooked. I listened to it over and over. It was my favorite things to play. My friend's were as excited about it as I was. We were digging this new sound called "neo-soul." It felt like us. We claimed it as our own. That meant that Erykah was ours.

"Baduizm" was released the middle of my senior year of high school. So, her music was the soundtrack to the best year of my high school career. The singles were perfect. The unreleased tracks were just as great. The reason I have deemed this cd classic is that 15 years later it's still relevant. I can and do still play it. I am sure 15 years from now when I'm playing it for my kids, it will still be timeless. And, that they will love it like I do. "Baduizm" signifies a new era in soul music. Erykah changed so many things. Classic music does that.

Places I Must Visit: Fiji

Fiji is absolutely breathtaking in pictures. It is located in the South Pacific. It is composed of 333 islands. Fiji is known for its beautiful, plentiful white sandy beaches and clear blue waters. The Fiji islands are the essence of a tropical island paradise. The beaches are lined with swaying coconut trees, and a plethora of oceans and waterways. Fiji's hotels are said to be the best in the world.



The flight from there to here is long. But, to have my feet on any of those beaches will be worth it. The islands are populated with 5 star hotel accommodations. Fiji is also known as one of the premiere destination wedding and honeymoon spots. The islands are also known for their coral reefs. Snorkeling is a huge pastime of the natives and a must do for tourists. The nightlife is also a huge draw to the islands. These are just some of the reasons why Fiji is definitely one of the places I have to visit.

March Madness

¤ Saturdays have become my favorite day of the week. Especially when I do nothing but spend it with my baby. So, yesterday was perfection. Filled with him, The Voice reruns, old Nicholas Cage movies, reading, discussions, and random extreme silliness. Yeah, that sums it up.

¤ My baby brother is home finally. It's been way too long. I'm so glad about that.

¤ Strictly drinking H²O for the last few weeks has been very interesting. I am sticking to it because I see a change in my skin. And, I realize that the more water I drink, the better I feel.

¤ I have discovered the wonders that grapeseed oil can do for my hair. It's been a great help on my transitioning hair in the last week.

¤ Surprisingly, the Sarah Palin movie "Game Change" was really good. I mean, I knew before that she was an idiot. But, the movie gave me so much more insight into just how deluded she was. And, to think, people actually voted for her.

¤ I am thinking about trying Biotin. I've been reading that it will help with hair, nail growth. It's a vitamin and natural so I'm gonna give it a go.

¤ I have truly been practicing the art of holding my tongue. It's been working. I've decided that I can't fix everything for everyone especially if they won't do it for themselves. So, now, it's an work of minimalism.

¤ I have not been up on my reading game. I have no less than 7 books that I have to read soon. I promise myself that I'm going to get back to me.

¤ I can be really silly. I love that there is at least one person who gets that about me and indulges me in it. He has no problem acting like a kid with me. And, I love that about him.

¤ This Trayvon Martin case has my spirit upset. I cannot believe that this is happening still in 2012. Where is the justice? Something has to change.

¤ I read something the other day that still has me smiling. It wasn't new information but seeing it in writing made my heart smile.

¤ I love discovering new music. Elle Varner, Mylah, & Robert Glasper have all been getting much play over here.

¤ Real talk, cramps are the spawn of the freaking devil!! It's unnatural that once a month my body betrays me. The fact that I want to cause someone bodily harm because it feels like a tiny midget is kickboxing inside my uterus is horrible. Ugh.

¤ Is winter really over? Like truly? If so, I'm so freaking happy. I'm not a fan of the cold. I prefer spring & fall. The weather is so much better. I love!!!

¤ I think its utterly ridiculous that the man behind the Stop KONY video was arrested for masturbating in public buck naked. I seriously have no words for this stupidity. None.

¤ I've been researching a few cities. I think I'm feeling Savannah, GA & Austin, TX. Both are gorgeous cities with much to offer. Serious contemplating mode now.

Ladies Love Lyrics: Elle Varner "Refill"

This track has literally been on repeat for at least two weeks. "Refill" was initially an interlude on Elle's "Conversational Lush" mixtape. It is now serving as the second single from her yet to be released debut. There is something so intoxicating about this track. There is a violin riff that is repeated throughout the whole song that drew me in. Then, of course, there are the actual lyrics. I love the lyrical word play of this song. Comparing the first meeting to being a little tipsy is genius. Calling yourself a conversational lush made this writer/poet beyond happy. And, to top it all off, Elle can sing. I am a fan. I'm patiently waiting for her cd to drop. Until then, I will continue to vibe uber hard to her two singles and free mixtape. Get into these lyrics.

"I feel like the girl at the bar who’s been there too long
Can’t stand up!
I should be gone but I just can’t get enough, yeah!

Fumbling, giggling, silly as ever
I get like this after one too many
But right now I ain’t even been drinkin'
He approached me and asked for a minute
Which turned into five,
then turned into ten
And right now I don’t know how to say when

So can I get a refill?
Can I get a refill?
Can I get a refill?
Yeah, of your time
Cause you’re intoxicating my mind
Feel like a conversational lush
Cause I don’t know how much is too much, yeah

I feel like the girl at the bar who’s been there too long
Can’t stand up!

Wishin' and hopin' that I don't blow it
I'm nervous as hell
I don’t wanna show it
And right now I don’t even know what I’m saying
I've never had game, no never
I don’t wanna sound like a broken record
But until you say goodnight
All I know is that I’m staying!

So can I get a refill?
Can I get a refill?
Can I get a reeeeeeeeeeefill?
Yeah, of your time
Cause you’re intoxicating my mind
Feel like a conversational lush
Cause I don’t know how much is too much, yeah

I feel like the girl at the bar who’s been there too long
Can’t stand up!

I need a shot of you on the rocks
Cause I’m down to my very last drop...

25 Unusual Questions

1. The person I like and why I like them. - The person I like/love is Kristopher. And the reasons I like him are endless. I like the way he says my name or calls me baby and how big his heart is. The way he laughs makes me smile, I'm even comforted by the way he snores. He's my best friend. I like the many ways we are alike and the ways we are different.
2. A famous person i’ve been compared to. - When I was a kid, my little cousin thought that Rudy & I were the same person.
3. 5 things that irritate me about the same sex/opposite sex. - Same sex- Talk too much, mean girl mentality, judgemental, scandalous, & loud. Opposite- Game playing, bullshitting, hard to read, one word answers & group think mentality.
4. The best thing that has happened to me this week. - The conversation he & I had about the beginning of our relationship.
5. Weird things I do when I’m alone. - Keep the a/c on even when I'm freezing bc I hate to be hot.
6. How I'd spend ten thousand bucks. - I'd be absolutely careless with it. I'd take us on a trip overseas.
7. Things I like and things I don’t like about the way I look. - Likes: Smile, breasts, legs, curves Dislikes: hate my nose ugh, butt,
8. My last night out in detail. - It was a baby shower with old friends so a great time was had by all.
9. Something that makes me sad when I think about it. - Losing 3 important people.
10. Something I’ve lied about. - In the past, my age and name.
11. Would I rather be stranded on a desert island with someone I love for ten years or someone I hate for a month? explain why. - This one's easy, someone I love. I'd rather be with a person I actually like because it would make the time pass quicker. When you're with the one you love, time doesn't really exist.
12. Something I’m currently worrying about. - My future.
13. One person from tumblr I'd throw off a cliff, one I’d marry and one I’d fuck. - I don't know about the first one but I'd marry & fuck the same person...HIM...Kris ;-)
14. Something I do without realising. - Apparently I moan...a lot.
15. Lyrics that apply to my current situation/mood. - "Can I get a refill? Can I get a refill? Can I get a reeeeeeeeeeefill? Feeling like a conversational lush Cause I don’t know how much is too much."
16. A drunken story. - "Drank a bunch of clear liquor all day at a party. Woke up, didn't recognize the room I was in & immediately thought someone had kidnapped me. But I was safe in the house with my cousins and friends."
17. Something I regret. - Not having the chance to say goodbye.
18. Post a picture of myself. - There's one on the side.
19. Longest relationship and who it was with. - Like 4 years. It was with the boy next door.
20. Press ctrl v and post. - inbtweenthoughts.blogspot.com
21. ost a bit of my last IM convo. - "What you doing? Laundry & blogging. What you blogging about?"
22. 5 things I want to change. - My address, my name, my occupation, my hair, my nail polish.
23. Your view on being tumblr famous. - It's superficial & nothing I aspire to.
24. Someone I’d like to be for a day and why. - Oprah because she has money & power & people listen when she speaks.
25. 5 things within touching distance. - Evo, remote, shoes, glass of H²O, picture.

Justice for Trayvon Martin

I really didn't want to write about this story because it angers me. But, since there hasn't even been an arrest, I have to blog something. On February 26th, a 17 year old Black child left the house during the All Star Halftime to the his brother some skittles from the store. Trayvon never made it back home. He was shot once and died in the street. His murderer is 26 year old George Zimmerman. Almost 3 weeks later, Zimmerman has yet to be arrested. Why? No one knows. The facts in this case are clear cut. An unarmed kid was watched, followed and eventually shot and killed by a grown man with a racial grudge. Point blank.

Zimmerman was the head of the Neighborhood Watch. He saw Martin walking through the gated community & called the police. He had no reason to because walking while Black isn't against the law. The dispatcher told Zimmerman to stand down & a patrol car would be on the way. That wasn't good enough. He told the dispatcher that "they always get away with stuff." That tells me that Zimmerman had an agenda & he wasn't goig to let "them" get away with anything else. This man followed the kid in his car and he was armed with a gun. He then proceeded to get out of his car & confront Martin. Apparently, a fight ensued. Zimmerman is 9 years older & approximately 100 pounds heavier than Martin.

Zimmerman shot and killed Martin in cold blood. This young Black man did not have a weapon on him. As a matter of fact, all he had in his possession was $22, a bag of skittles & a Arizona iced tea. He claims self-defense. Really? How in the hell? It's bad enough that a young man is dead, killed for no reason. But, that family is being denied justice. Their son's killer is still free. And, no one can tell us why. This all happened in Florida. I'm so damn upset about this. It's 2012 & young Black men are being strategically hunted. How is this ok? Why aren't more people not outraged? This is completely bs in my book. Wrong is wrong.

Trayvon Martin was murdered in cold blood by a racist idiot with a gun. This shouldn't happen. At all. I need answers. His family deserves justice. I hate to feel that if the murdered boy was white and his killer was Black that the outrage would be overwhelming. I do know that if the situation was different, the Black killer would have been in jail already. This is a sad case. Trayvon should not be dead. Zimmerman should not still be free. If you haven't heard about this story, please Google the names. It's a sick & disgusting case.

Definitive Black Romance Film

A classic movie is what I would label "love jones." This article made me remember how much I really loved it. 15 years ago, I saw a movie that changed me. It became an instant classic. I remember this like it was yesterday. The day "love jones" was released, my friends (Ty, Reese, Shay, & Shauna) & I went to see it after school. For the opening montage to the ending credits, I was sold. Before this film, I was a fan of Nia Long and Larenz Tate's. That was solidified after seeing it. This film was more than a Black romantic movie. I was enamored with one of the main characters, poetry. Back then, I was an aspiring poet. I was new to spoken word and places that catered to just that. There was just something real and authentic about this film to me. I loved it instantly. So much so that I went on a date the next night to see it again.

The love story between Darius Lovehall and Nina Moseley was intense and real. I loved how relatable the were to me and people I knew. It was amazing to see happy, functional Black people in love on the big screen. The poetry references as well as the photography made the film decidedly different. The friendships between men and women, married and single played out on screen. The film showed all of the ins and outs of Black livelihood. I've never been to Chicago but this movie made me want to visit. I loved the shots of the city throughout the film. The characters were all so real to me. Their triumphs and failures, their laughter and their tears were things we all could understand. It's one of the reason that "love jones" was such a great film to me.

And as amazing as the movie itself was, the soundtrack was as comprobable. I can still listen to it from beginning to end. I loved every song. From Dionne Farris to Coltrane and Ellington, every song just felt perfect. The music was happily married with the film. It's not often that a soundtrack is as whole and complete as this one. Actually, I can only think of one that falls into that category: the one for "Waiting to Exhale." The soundtrack is a mix of neo-soul, Hip-Hop, jazz, and R&B. Musically, it was perfection. I want to listen to it just writing this.

I don't think we will ever see another film like this. Every aspect of it just worked. It's one of the first dvd's I remember purchasing. Even though I know every word, I still watch it like it's the first time. It's just that awesome to me. I'm thankful for the acting of Nia Long, Larenz Tate, Isiah Washington, Bill Bellamy, Lisa Nicole Carson, as well as the rest of the cast. It was the perfect release at a time when we were being oversaturated with more "hood" movies. A Black love story told in a new and realistic way was huge news 15 years ago. We haven't seen anything close since then. "love jones" will forever be a classic work of art to me and my friends.

Jay Z's Free SXSW Concert

Jay Z is my favorite rapper. Point blank period. No one comes close in my opinion. I love concerts. I've been to more than I can count. All were memorable. Tonight, I along with thousands of others watched a free YouTube streamed Jay concert. Dressed in a black button down, hat that was adorned with what I'm sure was a marijuana plant, jeans and the new Air Yeezy's, Shawn Carter took the stage. He always seems so at home on the stage. I've seen him in concert a few times. This was a little different. His set and set list were different. It also just had a different vibe to it. I enjoyed all of it. Yes, I'm mad biased but a dope rapper who gives a great show is just that. I cannot stress that enough.

Although the concert was promoted via YouTube, I preferred to catch it on LowKey's website You Heard That New. It seemed sharper and sleeker there. (FYI The concert seems to be on a continuous loop, so feel free to go peep it if you missed it.) Jay performed some classics that I always love to hear. Such as "Girls, Girls, Girls," "Beach Chair," "Where I'm From," "I Just Wanna Love You." The transitions between tracks were executed flawlessly. For example, Jay did "Excuse Me Miss" and quickly went into the remix of "La, La, La"which I've never seen him perform. Effortlessly great he was tonight. But, to me, the highlight was the performance of two songs I've never seen him perform in concert. He did "Allure" which is classic to me. As well as his latest ode to his newborn daughter Blue Ivy "Glory." Those two tracks stand out the most because he never really does them. As a fan, seeing my favorite rapper have fun on stage while performing songs that are 16 years old and still enjoying it made me smile. Also finding out that "Allure" is also his favorite song was a bonus. It was just a great show. I'm glad I watched it tonight. It made me instantly happy.

Ladies Love Lyrics: Anita Baker "You Bring Me Joy"

Anita Baker is classic and timeless. Her voice will always reminds me of summers when I was a kid. Although I'm a fan of some of the current music, nothing is better than 80's & 90's R&B. It still makes me happy when I hear it. This particular song means more to me now than when I was a kid. This song has been on repeat for days now. The opening line is simple yet powerful. The thing I love the most about Anita is how powerful and soulful her voice is. I remember being a kid singing this song in the car. It's a great love song and I am a sucker for those. Enjoy this oldie but goodie!

"You bring me joy
When I'm down
Oh, so much joy
When I lose my way
your love comes smiling on me

I saw your face
And then I knew
We would be friends
I was so afraid
but your arms,
they'd say 'come to me'

So I'd say to you
"Can we talk for a while?"
You'd say "alright"
When you love me,
I smile I feel you hands
and you feel mine
You bring me joy

You bring me joy
Don't go too far away
If I can't see your face,
I will remember that smile

But can this be right
Or should we be friends
I get lonely sometimes and
I'm mixed up again
'Cause you're the finest thing I've seen in all my life
You bring me joy

My joy, my joy
I believe this is gonna be what you want it to be
I just love you, I just love you,
can't you see that you're the best
I've seen in all my life
You bring me joy

My joy... you're my joy
My joy... my, my joy

Thank you, baby, thank you, baby
I just love you, baby
When I lose my way,
your love comes smiling on me"

Lazy Days

I crave my Saturdays. I look forward to them all week. Especially when I know I don't have a thing to do. Just lounge around, watch mindless tv, and enjoy it with HIM. Lazy is the perfect way to describe yesterday. It was the perfect Saturday. I swear I didn't get a thing accomplished. Laundry, vacuuming, and all other household duties will be relegated to a Sunday thing. My Saturdays are full. I watched a good movie that made me think about Hurricane Katrina, which I hate. The movie was "Hurricane Season" and it was my first time watching it. I also watched a ton of HGTV & Food Network, two of my favorite channels. I was supposed to start reading my book "The Four Agreements," but somehow got sidetracked by the extreme chill and laziness of the day.

What is it about doing nothing all day that makes one so tired? It's strange how that works. I've done nothing but I cam barely keep my eyes open. I guess that's also the sign of a good day. So today I was a bum and I'm more than ok with that. I deeply enjoyed myself. And now, I'm going to watch "The Hangover" until sleep comes for me. My perfectly lazy day is over. I needed this. It was greatly appreciated. My day started and ended with Love. The perfect lazy day. Everyone should make sure that they take time out to have days like this. Days where nothing gets done but so much more is accomplished. Trust me, you need it.

Dream House

In the last year, I've started to seriously think about what I want my first home to look like. I know that there are some specific things that I want. I'm big on bathrooms, especially tubs, and closets. I want enough room for my future family to grow. I want a home. You know something that looks nice and feels warm and welcoming. I want a space that looks lived in. I would hate to live is a place that is like a museum. I absolutely love the open floor plan. I want my home to have a good flow to it.




Most importantly, I need the master suite to be a place of peace, our solitude. I want it to be open and airy. I already know there will be one red accent wall with a black and white art piece. Black and white bedding with red accent pillows. This is the way I see the bedroom in my mind. Since I am a sucker for a clawfoot tub, this is a must. As is a big shower with a bench. I also believe that a private toilet is a necessity. Since I'm such a shoewhore, a closet big enough to house them is a deal breaker.



The kitchen is the heart of every home. Especially now with the open floor plans that connect the kitchen and family room. I like to cook. And I would love to cook in a fabulous kitchen. Stainless steel appliances just make everything look sleek. I need an island. Like seriously need. That is a must on my list as well. I haven't actively started to search for a home. But I have a general idea of what I want and don't want. I will be surprised to see how my expectations and my reality line up. Either or, I cannot wait to find or build my dream home.

Stop Kony

Joseph Kony is a monster. Plain and simple. This man is basically responsible for the genocide in Uganda. Any man who would kidnap kids to turn them into killers is a sick piece of work. The group Invisible Children has done something amazing. In 3 days, they have made Kony infamous. I am grateful for their video because I had never heard of this horrible human being. I first saw the #Kony2012 video link on my Twitter timeline. I quickly favorited the tweet to watch at a later date. I was intrigued but not really motivated to watch it. A day later, I noticed that everyone was talking about this video. I started watching it but got distracted.



There is some controversy surrounding the Invisible Children organization when it comes to their finances. I've read a few articles about that. I was apprehensive before really watching it because of this. I actually had to watch it twice, the second time without all of my preconceived notions. The second time was a charm. I simply got the true issue of this video. Kony is despicable. He deserves all the shine that this video will give him. He deserves to be arrested, prosecuted, and throw in the roughest prison. He abducted kids and made them kill, sometimes their own parents. How does one come up with that level of psychoticness? I cannot even fathom that. He turns kids into an army (LRA). That makes me beyond sad. This video makes me beyond sad. What is wrong with people?

The Invisible Children have a great plan in place. They want everyone to know who Joseph Kony is and what he has done. This video is just the beginning. Their website has so much information about this cause. So please watch the above video, go to the website, sign the pledge, and get involved. We all need to make sure Kony is brought to justice. He deserves no less than what he has done to those kids. Stop Kony 2012! We can all do something to help. Repost the video. Tell your neighbors, coworkers, and family members. Justice is needed asap. 2012 is the year for Kony to be stopped.

Rant: Rush Limbaugh Sucks

Let me just get this out. Rush Limbaugh is a big mouth idiotic bully with too much airtime on his hands. Whew! Now that I've gotten that out of my system I can really get into this. Limbaugh went on his show and called a 30 year old female Georgetown law student a prostitute. All because the student, Sandra Flute, wanted her voice heard about the contraceptive issue. Flute was denied the rigt to testify in front of Congress. Her main objective was the high price of birthday control pills. Limbaugh took this info and went on a disrespectful rant on his 3 hour talk radio show. He called her a prostitute for wanting birth control covered by insurance and a slut. Really Rush? How moronic is that? And, the sad thing is there are a plethora of people who adhere to the same beliefs as him. They listen to his hate spewing on a daily. I cannot grasp that.



After days of spewing his disgusting speech, his advertisers began pulling out of his show. Then, came the obligatory apology. He said he didn't mean it personally. What? Limbaugh called Sandra by name multiple times. Everything he said was directed at her. How did he not mean it personally? If you say my name, you're talking to me personally right? That's what I thought. When no one accepted his faux apology, he released another one that wasn't much better. There was nothing heartfelt or sincere about either apology. He meant what he said about her. It's like him and his followers believe that adult, sexually active women are sluts. I'm offended. Deeply. Because that is pure, unadulterated bullshit. There is no other way to call that. I cannot understand how little people comprehend. Common sense is clearly not common to all.



This article is the most detailed of all the events that led up to his statements and the consequences of them. As of now, Limbaugh's show has lost 43 advertisers. It seems that everyone does not stand behind these stamens. They are hitting Limbaugh where it hurts: in his pockets. Advertisers are how talk radio shows are kept afloat. Without them, hopefully this means the end for Limbaugh. I'm sorry you cannot say inflammatory, derogatory things on air about someone and not have consequences. He deserves whatever he gets. I've never been a fan. This pushes him higher on my list of folks I tune out.

Social Drinker

I am a social drinker. I like what I like. A great dirty martini or glass of Blackberry Merlot are always on my list. I'm partial to vodka, preferably top shelf like Grey Goose, Belvedere, Ciroc & Ketel One. I'm also into wine. I don't have a favorite. I like reds, merlot being the best thing ever. Whites and blushes are good as well. I do not drink the way I did in college. But then again, who can? Lol. I am 32 not 22 anymore. It's so strange the way your body changes as you get older. I used to be able to outdrink some of my boys. Those days are long gone.



I know people drink for all different reasons. There has only been one time when I can remember that I drank to escape. After my dad was killed, I didn't want to deal or feel anything. So I drank. A lot. For a whole semester, I was buzzed and/or drunk. I needed to be someone else. In hindsight, I know my behavior was detrimental. But, back then, it was my only option. Since then, I've never allowed myself to get to that point again. I don't drink to avoid my feelings. I don't even drink that much right now.



Everything in moderation. That's the key when it comes to vices. Drinking is something I do to unwind & relax. Nothing more, nothing less. I can't really think of a better reason. I don't do it often. I don't overindulge. I also don't judge those who don't drink. I would hope anyone who felt the need to judge me about anything I do or don't do would kindly keep it to themselves. I'm not overly concerned with what others do. So, if I feel like having a drink or three, trust me I will. It will usually be in the confines of my own spot. I prefer to drink at home. Drink up!

Water Works

I love water. I love to be in it, love to look at large bodies of it, and showers are just about my favorite things. But, recently I realized that when it came to drinking water, I was not doing my part. I LOVE tea. Hot, cold, iced, sweet teas are all my favorites. I needed to change this. I needed to add water to my daily intake. I'm not one who drinks sodas frequently but when I do drink them, they are always the worst kind. I like Cherry Cokes and root beer. I needed a change and I needed one quickly. My health is important to me. I know that my body craves water. It needs it desperately.



So, in the past week or so, I have been drinking nothing but water. Let me tell you, it has been hard!! I've had to basically trick myself into believing that water tastes good. It really doesn't. It has no taste. but, the results have been great. The more water I drink, the more I enjoy it. It's also making me full because I am drinking before a meal. I know, for most, that drinking water may not be a big deal. But, to me, it has become one. When I sat and thought about when and if I was drinking any water, those times where few and far between. This was no bueno. I needed to rectify that. All it took was a few days to get me into a habit. So, for the time being, I am sticking to my water only regimen. So far, so good!

I Saw This & Thought That...

How true is this? I read it and thought it made perfect sense. It's so easy to stay in your comfort zone. It's what we know. I know this to be true. It's difficult to step outside of that box to get to what comes next. But the reality is, if we don't we won't ever progress. I feel like this was placed on my tumblr feed just for me to see. I needed to receive this message today. I need to step outside of what I know and what is comfortable so I can get to my future. It's not inside of this perfect little box I call my life. It's outside of it, in the dark, unknown spaces. Looking towards it can be scary but exciting as well. I was racking my brain for a topic when I came across the picture. I needed this. What do you guys think of this quote?

It's My Hair: Flexirods

As you all know, I've been on a natural hair journey for a little over six months now. I'm at the point where I am trying out new transitioning styles. The first style I tried my hand at was a flexirod set. I am no stylist. Everything will be trial and error. From products to styles, I will be my own guinea pig during this journey. I was apprehensive before starting this. And, it progressed in a similar manner. Here's what happened.



I began by pre-pooing my hair with Suave Humectant Conditioner and Keracare Essential Oils. I detailed my hair by hand after this was applied. I let this sit on my hair for a few hours. I washed it out while making sure that I scrubbed my scalp. After I made sure all the products were out of my hair, I lightly towel dried my hair. I then applied Kinky Curly Knot Today onto my hair. I combed my hair from tips to roots. I then began by flexirodding my hair from the front. I sectioned off my hair and sprayed my hair with my glycerine/water mixture. Once I was done, I lightly sprayed my head with my glycerine/water mixture and then with Cantu Shea Butter Oil Sheen. I sat under a warm, not hot, dryer for about an hour. I slept in the rods, which by the way isn't that easy or comfortable. I took the rods out the following morning. 

The results were mixed. For some reason, I got great curls around the perimeter of my head. In the middle, it wasn't as curly as I was expecting. I think I didn't use enough flexirods. Anyway, I made it work. I slicked my hair back a little with some gel, added a black headband, and fluffed out my curls. I was good to go. Day 2 hair was fuller. As was day 4. My style lasted a week. I got caught in the rain so my day 7 hair was frizzier than I would've liked. In conclusion, with more work and effort, I think this may be my go to style for a while. It's easy and lasts all week. The less I have to mess with my hair the better. I've heard that natural girls tend to deal with their hair more when they should just let it be. That's what I'm trying to do. Cut down on my heat usage and general touching of my hair. So this wasn't a complete win but definitely not a fail. I will get it right soon! I'm just excited that I've found something else to do with my transitioning hair. I was about to break down and get a relaxer last week. It was a weak moment, my first in over 5 months. I think that's good. Anyway, my hair is in transition. I am on a journey. I'm still excited about it.

Get Into It: Elle Varner "Conversational Lush"

Elle Varner is a breath of fresh air for me. I first heard of her when she dropped her first official single "Only Wanna Give It To You" featuring J. Cole. The single is very catchy. I loved it. It is off of her upcoming debut "Perfectly Imperfect." While I was vibing to this, she dropped a jewel of a mixtape. It's titled "Conversational Lush." I really love when I can put a project on and just let it play. This is what happened the first time I played CL.

Her tracks are melodic, catchy, lyrical and most importantly, relatable. That means so much to a music lovers like me. I found myself laughing, nodding in agreement to every song. I love the real life situational stories Elle presents through her music. Her "Conversational Lush" is definitely worth getting in to. More importantly, it's absolutely free. I think her mixtape is the perfect appetizer to her debut. Below are my favorite tracks on the mixtape. I think that Elle is a winner.

Let's Talk About...

...Threesomes. They play out in porn scenes as if they are a natural normal everyday occurrence. I know some who have indulged in this fantasy. Some say it was everything they dreamed it would be. Others say that they would never try it again. Is it just a fun fantasy? Or are couples inviting trouble into their relationship by bringing in a third person? I'm not exactly sure on this one. It could be a just a little extra spice to an already healthy and active love life.

The reality is I've never had one. But, I can honestly say that the idea intrigues me. No, I'm not gay or bi. As a woman, I can appreciate the beauty of another woman. I want to have one with me, my man and another woman. My main objective is my pleasure in this situation. Meaning her pleasing me and possibly pleasing my guy. I want to get it out of my system. I'm open minded when it comes to things in my sexuality. It's a fantasy that I could see coming true.

Sex talks can be a touchy, iffy topic. Some aren't very comfortable discussing such things. I am not of that class. I'm confident and comfortable with all of it. The topic of Threesomes was brought up in a Facebook group I'm in. It's interesting to read others opinions and stances on the topic. Some surprised me, some even shocked me. So I decided to expand on it here. So, can we talk? Have any of you had a threesome experience. Tell me your stories. I'm all ears.

Ladies Love Lyrics: The Robert Glasper Experiment "Ah Yeah" featuring Musiq & Chrisette

I have been hearing about this cd for a while. I never had a chance to check it out until yesterday. I'm so glad this particular song floated across my tumblr feed. It's Robert Glasper's first single from his new cd "The Robert Glasper Experiment." It seems to be a albums in the same vein of a Quincy Jones Joint. This particular single features two of my faves: Musiq Soulchild & Chrisette Michelle. Their voices are married so perfectly on this smooth track. I was in instant fan. I definitely need to hear more where this came from. So, here you go guys. Definitely get into the lyrics of this one. Enjoy!

Ah Yeah -Robert Glasper feat Musiq Soulchild & Chrisette Michelle

"I think beauty is over rated
Cause it’s something anyone can be yeah
attraction now that's something different
aha and thankfully you’re both to me

Chorus:
‘cause I’ve learned in this life you gotta be with someone you like
if you think we’ve got someone to take the distance
I can tell you’re now
oh you
aha ah yeah ah yeah ah yeah ah yeah ah yeah ah

You’re sweet and you see through me
you’re not may be free i’m woman
ahh if you’re the only I have
the only one I have

Chorus

Things can get ..
feel love you gotta know what’s love
behind you will feel
maybe you like find love
uuhh ah uh ah ah uh ah uh ah ah uh ah uh ah"