So Difficult

I am a talker. I love words and conversations. But sometimes it's hard to find the words and formulate the sentences. It's not because I don't know what I want to say or ask. It has more to do with the fact that I know that once it's said it can't be unsaid. Once I speak, I give power to my words. It's taken me a long time to truly grasp that concept. I'm more careful with my words.

I've also learned that the "Hardest thing to say is usually worth saying." (via @KarenCivil) It's very true. We've all had those difficult conversations filled with questions who's answers could crush us. When your heart's involved, the words carry much weight. I am also a worrywart. I think and rethink about what I want to say and how I want to say it before I ever do. It's just very important to me.

I also believe that all these difficult conversations can lead to better, more fulfilled lives. People have to get through them to get through life. It's never easy during the process. But the end result is always worth it. Because, at least, now you know. Now, you can decide what comes next. For some that means to stay and fight. For others, it means to cut your loses and run. Either way, a decision can be made. Difficult situations are a part of life. How you respond to them determines who you are. For that reason alone, I take them on. I need to grow. This is the only way, by going through.

Don't Be A Nag

I have been many things in my life. The one thing I have never wanted to be was a nagger. There is nothing positive that can come from nagging. It's overbearing and obnoxious. Women, in general, have this stigma of being big on nagging. That role gets old. No one, in their right mind, wants to be the woman who continues to complain/speak on the same subject. The reality is this people are who they are and are only going to do what they feel like doing.

As a woman, I don't want to have to tell a man what I want, what's right and what's expected all the time. Being that person is draining. Those kind of women often find themselves alone a lot. I am no pushover. I am a very strong woman. But, I also know what's annoying to me. Nagging me annoys the hell out of me. So I am quite sure that a man would feel similarly. Here's a perfect example of a woman nagging her spouse. I read a story on Facebook about a classmate of mine who is insisting that her boyfriend has flowers delivered to her job on Valentine's Day. Insisting is the operative word. Her reasoning for such a thing -she wants her coworkers to know she has a great boyfriend. I see something looming there. I'm sure her nagging about it is not making her wonderful boyfriend feel as great as she claims he is. I've never been that woman. Anything that is done for me by a boyfriend has been 100% their idea and vice versa.

Nagging never gets anything done. I don't want to do that to anyone. And, I damn sure don't want any one to do it to me. It's not a good look ever. If a person repeats the same thing to me, I tend to tune them and their message out. I'm very good at ignoring what ever information I don't want to take in. The bottom line is no man wants a nagging spouse and neither does any woman. It's a bad personality trait. I don't have it in me to pursue that line of conversation. I don't want to argue if I can help it. I just want to discuss an issue, solve it and move on. Life's too short to get caught up in the small things. I would rather exist inside the love and not worry about anything else. Nagging solves nothing. Life's all about the solutions.

Watch What You Say...

What do people say about you when you aren't around? I know, for the most part, people will say very nice, complimentary, flowery things to your face. But, some times they aren't as nice beyond your back. I've accepted the fact that this is just life. I can't say I truly don't care what people say about me. I don't live my life on those comments though. But, to an extent, I do take them in. I want the way I view myself to add up to the woman that everyone else is seeing in me. Am I perfect? Nope. Nor do I aspire to be. I'm just me. I can be plenty things at any given moment of the day. What I am is consistent. I feel what I feel, like what I like, and am firmly planted in many of my ideals. That's just me being me. I watch my words more closely now. It's not always easy because people can push you. I think loads of things. I just don't allow all of them to flow out of my mouth.



I don't play into the he say/she say talk. Whatever I've said once, I can say twice. It's not that hard to do. The likelihood that something you say will find its way back is about 100%. Words are serious and deep. I am thankful that I've learned to not react to what people say. It took me a really long time to get there though. I try to take things that are said about me and then repeated by others to my face with a grain of salt. I've learned to brush it off. It's not worth it. People will say what they will and feel how they feel. I can't control them. I love me. I am so very happy with the woman I am. I stand behind my words because I mean them. I'm not here to impress anyone. The people I love and who love me back know this. . In closing, I think that most should watch what they say.

Me & the Phone

Do you remember those all night phone call marathons that we used to have in high school? Weren't they the best? Never wanting to hang up the phone? Those days were crazy but fun. I used to live for the phone. It was my favorite thing. I drove my mother crazy when I was in high school because of my phone addiction. I would talk to all of my people for hours on end. When I got my first cell phone in 2000, I was in heaven. I had a great plan and could talk all the time. I still don't know why I was so addicted to it. I love to have conversations with people. I love to tell a joke and laugh. But somewhere, in my mid 20's, I began to despise it. I'm sure that had a lot to do with the introduction of text messaging. But, I did not want to get caught up on the phone talking about nothing for hours. It wasn't really my thing. I became anti-phone for a while.

Now, I am still not all that into the phone. For the most part, I basically talk to the same people . I am really bad at not answering my phone and returning calls. It just slips my mind. It's not like that with everyone. I am, however, the texting queen. I will text people before I call them. It's just easier and quicker. I am trying to change my feelings on phone calls. I know that I have been kind of anti-social and that really isn't me. I'm a homebody moreso these days. I cannot lie, I love my cell phone. It is my connection to my world.i am vowing to be more open to others when it comes to the phone. As long as it doesn't interfere with the most important phone call I make everyday. Are you guys phone people?

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words

I spotted this picture on my Tumblr earlier. It caught my eye as I read all of the sayings that made up the two entwined hands. Communication is key to every situation and relationship. We all need to talk things out so that our actions and words are not misconstrued. Our conversations are two fold: verbal and non-verbal. All of this factors into every conversation. Sometimes I can say more with a look in my eyes than any words I could come up with. I think that I sometimes get so caught up in my mind formulating my words, sentences, thoughts that my delivery isn't exactly where I want it to be. That is a character flaw that I have been addressing lately.

Conversations warm my heart. I love to talk to my people. The topic doesn't always have to be serious or thought provoking. Sometimes we just clown because we all could use an extra laugh or three. Life can be hard. Words don't have to be. We, as humans, tend to complicate them. Our conversations can save us, restore our spirits, or just make us smile. We live for interaction, validation, acknowledgement. Conversations give us all of this and more. I know that the right words at the right moment from that special someone can make all the difference. They can literally change a bad day into a good one. That's how important that words can be. After seeing the above picture, the below videos came to mind. Let's have a little musical conversation.







"...every time our eyes meet, be talking, talking, talking talking to me. Ain't no need for words to speak..."