* "Sometimes you have to lose yourself to find happiness." - Anonymous
* “What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but, scattered along life’s pathway, the good they do is inconceivable.” –Joseph Addison
* “Real happiness is cheap enough, yet how dearly we pay for its counterfeit.” –Hosea Ballou
* “Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.” - Denis Waitley
* There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do.” -Freya Stark
* “Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.” - Buddha
* People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.” -H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
* A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.” -Hugh Downs
* “Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.” - James M. Barrie
* “Happy are those who dream dreams and are willing to pay the price to make them come true.” -Unknown
* "Happiness comes from within." - KC
* Happiness consists not in having, but of being, not of possessing, but of enjoying. It is the warm glow of a heart at peace with itself.”-Norman Vincent Peale
To reduce or not to reduce. That is the question. Since I was about 20 years old, I have been going back and forth on the idea of a breast reduction. Not because I think that they are too big. But, I have always had issues with my shoulders and back. I was super serious about the surgery in summer 2005. I had a consultation with a surgeon and had a date set for the procedure. Then, a little hurricane by the name of Katrina came along and changed all my plans. The surgery wasn't important any more.
The older I get, the more I am leaning away from the surgery. Besides the fact that I absolutely hate hospitals. The idea of being put under local anesthesia freaks me out. I do not like pain, I avoid it at all times. So, the recovery from this surgery would not be something I would be looking forward to. The more thought that I've put into this decision, the more I am seeing things differently. I think the main deciding factor is the fact that having this surgery could hamper my chances of breast-feeding when I have kids. I know that when I have kids, I will be breastfeeding. And, to have this surgery could wipe that option out. That's enough for me to not entertain the thought any more.
It's funny how much one's opinion on a subject can change with age. At 20, I was not thinking about kids or my future past school. At 31, these things are always on my mind. I am now quite used to the pain associated with being heavily endowed. So for now, I'll just continue buying better bras until the day I'm blessed with a baby. My Mother has said for years that my breasts will shrink when I have kids. Apparently it's a family trait. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.
Music is my life. It has been one of the most consistent stables in my life. It's no secret that I am an avid music fan. I think have a unique relationship with it. So, I am always excited about new music. When I am a fan of an artist, I'm anticipating anything new and fresh from them. I tend to take it personally when new music is bad. It truly hurts my spirit. I feel slightly disrespected because I've wasted my money on trash. I love to sit with a new cd for a few days and only listen to it. I like to formulate my opinion of it from this. I complete submerge myself into the music. This is the way I like to get into new music.
In the last year, there has been a plethora of great music released. And, my ears have been very happy about it. The cd's that still get a lot of play in my house are : Watch The Throne, Beyoncé, Adele, Jessie J, Big Sean, Ledisi, PJ Morton, Rhianna, Kanye West, Jill Scott, and Nicki Minaj to name a few. But, on the converse side of that are the really bad ones. The cd's that made me frown and were thrown away after a listen or three. They are Chrisette Michelle, Kelly Rowland, Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa, Jennifer Hudson, Fantasia, and Lady Gaga. I do not know what direction the artist were attempting to go, but they failed in my eyes. There may have been a few songs I liked but as a complete project I did not get it.
Music makes me happy. It can change my mood at any given time. I like to think of myself as a music connoisseur. I love how it can connect people. I get deep into music, the lyrics, and the meaning behind it. I dissect a song from beginning to end. There are a few projects that I am looking forward to this fall. "Take Care" from Drake being number one on that list. One of my favorite artist has a cd coming out soon but I am not excited about it. I feel like Mary J Blige's latest offerings have not been what I want from her. The music sounds too young. And, it just isn't a good look. I will take a listen when it drops but I have a feeling that I won't be purchasing it. That makes me sad too. But, I cannot support what I do not get. Music has to move me. If it doesn't, what's the point? I don't know anyone else who gets music like I do. It is just my thing. Music brings me to a very happy place.
Beyoncé slayed this performance. I love this song. It just makes me happy. Great beat, cute lyrics and amazing vocals all equal a win/win for me. Get into this.
Honey, honey I can see the stars all the way from here Can't you see the glow on the window pane?
I can feel the sun whenever you're near
Every time you touch me
I just melt away
Now everybody ask me why I'm smiling out from ear to ear.
(They say love hurts)
But I know
(It's gonna take the real work) Nothing's perfect, but it's worth it
After fighting through my fears
And finally you put me first
Baby it's you.
You're the one I love.
You're the one I need.
You're the only one I see. Come on baby it's you.
You're the one that gives your all.
You're the one I can always call.
When I need you make everything stop.
Finally you put my love on top.
Ooo! Come on Baby.
You put my love on top, top, top, top, top.
You put my love on top.
Ooo Ooo! Come on baby.
Since birth, I have been into everything girly. I was born into a world of pink. Everything was pink. I loved it. I was the little girl who loved dresses, hair bows, sandals, and barrettes. You would always catch me with a "pocketbook" as my Grandmother Frances called them. I was the first grandchild and a girl to boot. I was spoiled beyond measure. I was the epitome of a girl then and now. I may have a tough exterior but I am super sensitive once you get past it. Getting all dolled up for a night out makes me happy. It's just something about all of it that makes the night more special. I am definitely super girly. While brainstorming about this blog, I started looking at pictures of me from the last few years.
I love getting pampered. I am all about a spa pedicure. Massages are wonderful. I love lipgloss and eye shadow and mascara and polishes. I have always loved these things. I love pink and purple and yellow and most of all blue. I prefer dresses to pants, heels to flats, and I never go anywhere without a purse. I love the way my eyes get really slanted when I am very happy. I have big cheeks and a great smile. I love to laugh. I share the pampering with my nieces, god daughter and little cousins. I think that girls would be girls. They love it as much as I do. My God-daughter is addicted to the type of lipgloss I love and the lipbrush as well. And, what's even funnier is that I got none of this from my Mom. She is so not into all of this. She always says she doesn't know where my love for these things came from. I do not know either. I just know it's a big part of me.
On a daily, women are bombarded with society's idea of what beauty is and what size is sexy. We deal with a lot. As a Black woman, I also have to deal with the Light/Dark skin issue. I am so glad that I do not buy into the whole "skinny, light skinned, long haired perception of beauty." I thank my mother for instilling me with my own sense of self worth and idea of beauty. I absolutely love my brown skin. I have never wanted to be any lighter. there was a time when I wanted to be darker. I absolutely love my breasts and my legs. It took me a long time to be comfortable with my cup size. I developed early and my breast grew quickly. they became a topic of discussion in high school. that was embarrassing. Until I released that the power was mine. So, I took it back. I love the way I look in a low cut top. Cleavage is awesome. I love the way my legs look in a dress and heels. This is what makes me feel womanly and sexy. It's not about anyone else's perception. I feel good about myself because I just do. No image on tv or in a magazine can determine my self-worth. Man, I just love being a woman!
Religion is a hot button topic in any and all circles. There are certain people that I will not discuss religion with. I know what I believe. I know there is a God. I know he watches over me. No one can make me believe otherwise. I'm very grounded in my faith. I talk to God all the time. Those talks and prayers comfort me immensely. I love God with all my heart and I know he loves me more than I can imagine. I've seen his mercy and grace bless my life. Things no man can explain. That is me walking by faith. I believe because I cannot imagine any other way.
I have struggled with the idea of organized religion for years. I have a personal relationship with God. I am a spiritual woman. I do not like the politics involved in churches, specifically Black ones. I have seen too many fake and false chosen people of God. They have left a truly bad taste in my mouth. I do not get how a person could basically play with God and his word. That is crazy to me. I haven't set foot in a church in a really long time. That's truly been bothering me lately. I left my last church home because I was not being fed spiritually nor did I believe in the pastor of the church anymore. So now I'm searching for a place that I feel comfortable and will get extra guidance.
Religion has always been important to me. My Grandmother Frances made sure of that. She took me to church with her every Sunday. I loved that time with her. I loved going to the children's church. I took other challenge of reading the Bible last year. I've slacked of as of late. But I need to get back into it. I'm about halfway through. It's interesting to me how much I remember from church as a kid. I also enjoyed learning new things about the Bible. My spiritual journey thus far has been a very winding road. I've taken it into my own hands while carving my on lane. Religion will always be important to me. I want to know about it all. I want to be able to share it with my (future) kids. I want them to be able to believe in something bigger than all of us. That is important to me. My God is awesome. This journey is far from over. I'm interested in religions other than Christianity. I will also be reading the Koran because I want to know. My spirituality is a big part of me. How about you?
"Love is the thing, you know?" - Louise "Sex & the City (the movie)"
Love connects us all. It's the one thing we all fight for, search for, live for, and die for. Everyone loves love. And, that has been the topic on my mind all day. Today, I watched Lil Wayne's new video for "How To Love." It is a video with a real message. This totally surprised me because I am not used to anything conscious coming from Wayne. And, then I read Bryan Michael Cox's blog where he posed some interesting questions about love. His blog made me think about many things. I also think that love is a huge subject in my poetry for a reason. for so long, I was searching for something that was already in me. I had the ability to love but I just didn't know it.
I do not believe in learning to love someone. I don’t think there is anything healthy about learning to love someone. My idea of love is a feeling you can’t fight or deny. It’s something indescribable to me. Love is an emotion that cannot be quantified or held but we all can feel it. The most amazing thing is realizing that you love someone. I def believe in falling in love. It’s the possibility of being embraced by something so deep and knowing that the person you’re in love with will catch you. It takes a lot of faith to completely fall in love. I am no expert on the subject. I have not conquered all the avenues when it comes to love. But, I have learned a lot about the subject. I think I finally understand the basics of it. How to give love and receive love is a great gift.
I don’t think we decide to love. When it’s real and true, it happens without any assistance from us. I know this to be true because it happened to me last year. I do think that we decide to open our hearts to love. I believe that one has to be one to love to fully receive it. Love makes us better, makes us appreciate people and things more. Days are brighter and life is just better when you love and are loved. this extends to all forms of love. Nothing warms my heart more than hearing the people I love tell me that they love me too. They don't have to but I'm so glad that they love me. That is a beautiful thing. Life teaches us how to love, if we are open to it. Love is something we all crave. How are you at loving??
Praying this into existence!!
* "Nothing Has Ever Felt Like This" has been on repeat in my head for days now. Strange because I haven't heard it in forever.
* Holding my tongue is a chore that I am about to boycott.
* I was really worried about something and now I'm not. It finally feels normal again.
* I'm very anxious about some things. Like I want them right now. I also don't know if I'll ever have them.
* I will never understand the priorities of some people.
* I keep having the same dream. I don't know if I'm supposed to learn something from it or what.
* I really want to see "Columbiana" with Zoe Saldana. The trailer looks incredible.
* My random thoughts haven't been so random this month. I've been trying to keep myself out of my head.
* I am so much better than I was before. My temper has definietly mellowed out a lot. Personal growth is a great thing.
* I am making a renewed effort to commit to my blog again. I have been slacking and that needs to end asap.
Road trips can be many things. I cannot remember the last time I was on an extended road trip. I believe it could be a great and fun time if you pick the right company. The best of friends, the best music, and an empty interstate is all that I would need. A really great road trip will provide a lifetime of memories with your favorite people if done correctly. The pictures in this blog sum up my outlooks on road trips.
I haven't been on a pleasure road trip in years. The idea of just packing up and heading out to places unknown excites me. My perfect road trip would consists of a cooler full of Orange G2's and ice, chips and of course the ying to my yang. The music for this road trip would be random. I own a ton of music so it would never run out. Conversation would flow like water, jumping from topic to topic. Days would be spent on the highway while nights would be at some hotel. I would want to immerse myself into the feel of whatever city I was in. Try the food, sip the drinks, and just enjoy the city.
I would prefer to drive to and through states I haven't visited before. We would stop in little cities that have a small town appeal. I'd drag my companions to museums and antique shops. I have an obsession with state keychains and shot glasses. I'd make sure to purchase these in each state. Oh, and postcards are great keepsakes as well. I like to remember everything. I would also take a load of pictures, in the car, on the road and wherever we would stop.
Where would you road trip to? Who would you take with you? I know that I would def go with my baby. I also think a girls road trip would be awesome. I don't have a specific destination. Just a plan to get up and go. That sounds like just about the best thing. Road trips can be planned down to the last second or they can be spontaneous. I prefer the latter. An open road and an open mind are the best two accessories to a brillant road trip. Let's go!!
{On another note, today's my brother Ken's birthday. I am wishing him the hapiest birthday a 26 year old can have. Love him lots!!}
I have neglected my blog. This summer hasn't been anything like I expected it to be. I lost my joy for writing for a while. I just couldn't focus enough to make it happen. It was a strange feeling that I couldn't shake for a while. I think that I am ready to try again. Even if what I write is crap. The writer in me knows that I need to write. So, I'm back at it. I cannot say that I am committing myself to writing everyday as I was earlier this year. That may be too big of a feat for me right now. I am just going to write when and if the inspiration hits me. I promise not to stay gone so long in the future. These are just all the thoughts that have been clouding my mind.
It took me a few days to decide which song to chose for LLL. Jay-Z and Kanye's "Watch The Throne" has been on repeat since Sunday night. "Made In America" is the song that I am feeling the most today. So here's some lyrics for you guys.
(Frank Ocean) Sweet King Martin / Sweet Queen Coretta / Sweet Brother Malcolm / Sweet Queen Betty / Sweet Mother Mary / Sweet Father Joseph / Sweet Jesus / We made it in America / Sweet Baby Jesus / Oh sweet baby Jesus / We made it in America / Sweet baby Jesus / Oh sweet baby Jesus / We made it in America
(Kanye West) I told my mama I was on the come up / She said you going to school I’ll give you a summer / Then she met NO ID and gave me his number / Ten years later she driving a Hummer / Ni**as hustle every day for a beat from Ye / What I do? Turn around gave them beats to Jay / And I’m rappin’ on the beat they was supposed to buy / I guess I’m getting high off my own supply / Downtown mixing fabrics tryina find the magic / Started a little blog just to get some traffic / Old folks’ll tell you not to play in traffic / A million hits and the web crashes ...Damn / South Park had ‘em all laughing / Now all my ni**as designing and we all swaggin’ / Ignore the critics just to say we did it / This ain’t no fashion show, motherf***er we live it
(Chorus)
(Jay-Z) I pledge allegiance to my Grandma / For that banana pudding, our piece of Americana / Our apple pie was supplied through Arm & Hammer / Straight out the kitchen, shh don’t wake Nana / Built a republic, that still stands / I’m tryna lead a nation, leave to my little mans / Or my daughter, so I’m boilin’ this water / The scales was lopsided, I’m just restorin’ order / Hold up, here comes grandma, what’s up YaYa? / What’s that smell? Oh I’m just boiling some aqua / No papa, bad Santa / The streets raised me, pardon my bad manners / I got my liberty choppin’ grams up / Street justice, I pray God understand us / I pledge allegiance to all the scramblers / This is the Star Spangled Banner (Chorus)
The Throne has been watched. I have lived with this Jay-Z/Kanye West project for more than 24 hours. I haven't listened to anything else. I can't. It's just the way I am when I'm getting into new music. Simply stated, WTT is amazing. It exceeded all of my expectations. I love the way Jay and Ye shined on this cd. I am clearly in love with "N***as In Paris," "Who Gon Stop Me," "New Day," and "Why I Love You." I also think that collabo cds bring out the best in those involved. Ye is coming off a huge album. His MBDTF is epic. It's like a movie. Did the two of them need to do this? No. Neither career was hurting. They did this for the love of music, for the fans, for the fun. And, I thank them. I have not been this excited about a Hip-Hop cd in a minute.
The rollout for WTT is just about the illest thing I've ever seen. there has been little to no promotion to this project. Even more amazing is the fact that it did not leak. I cannot think of a cd that hasn't leaked within the last four or five years. Kanye first mentioned this project as a 5 song EP that him and Jay were gonna do back in late November. I was uber excited because I am such a fan of both men. There was a buzz single released in January. It was "H.A.M." The single was met with mixed reviews. Then there were the multitude of fake release dates. Finally, on the 4th of July the artwork was released as well as a link to pre-order. Which, I of course, did asap. And, then the world finally received a true single. "Otis" is a soul sample of Otis Redding's "Try A Little Tenderness" and Jay and Ye spend three minutes being their most flashy, braggadocious selves. The song is a loop of the Otis sample with no hook, no bridge, no chorus. It's just three minutes of Jay and Ye trading 8 bars. Just a really fun song with a great sample.
The excitement was building. IT was a topic of discussion on Twitter leading up to its release. My pre-order via Jay's Life and Times blog was full of surprises. The day that "Otis" was released, I received an email with a download link for the song. It also informed me that I would receive another email with the download for the digital album on 8/8 and my physical copy on 8/12. So, Sunday night while on Twitter LowKeyUHTN tweeted that he had received his digital copy of WTT via iTunes. I couldn't check my email fast enough. At exactly, 11:01pm, my email arrived. I downloaded and started to listen to WTT with the biggest smile! I also watched the Twitterverse explode with reviews of the cd. It was quite amazing to watch so many people react to the same product.
I may be very biased on this but I LOVE it. WTT musically and sonically does not sound like anything else. Lyrically, no one can touch Jay or Ye in my book. I never once doubted that. I was just anticipating what they would sound like on a full project. These men are two of the only rappers that I have all of their cd's. I have never bootlegged either of them. I became even more of a fan of Kanye's after seeing him in concert at Essence Music Fest this year. There is also a WTT tour starting this fall. I cannot wait to attend. I've been a fan of both since the beginning of their respective careers. These two men showed up and showed out of this wonderful 16 song (deluxe edition) cd. "Watch The Throne" just makes me happy. I've read a lot of reviews of this cd. Some I agree with because they hear what I hear. Others I don't, because I have no idea what they heard.
I do not think I can give a song by song review. I like them all too much. Today I have been playing "Why I Love You" a lot. It's my favorite today. Yesterday, it was "N***as In Paris." All in all, this cd was well worth the wait and all the excitement to me. Kanye and Jay gave me more than I wanted in this project. I'm looking forward to hearing this new material performed live in concert this December. If you are a fan, or even if you're not, I suggest you check it out. Get Into "Watch The Throne"
