First impressions are very important. It's the first few moments when ideas are formed, when people are sizing each other up. Those "get to know you" conversation can be grueling. You are basically presenting your case on yourself in hopes that he/she/they like and accept you. It's a very interesting dance we do when we meet people. Some first impressions are more important than others. Those usually turn into lifelong friendships and/or the happily ever after kinds.
I've never had a probably making a great first impression. I'm usually the person that people always strike up random conversation with. Even when I don't want to be, I'm a people person. I think, upon first meeting me, I would be referred to as quiet. That's on purpose. I want to know as much about the person as they want to know about me. I take the time to actually listen to what they are saying and all the things they aren't saying physically. I have no issue talking about myself. I just think its important to pay attention as well.
People generally like me. Now, I'm not saying that there aren't people who dislike me. I just don't harp on that because 9 time out of ten the feeling's mutual. I do remember someone's mom just instantly disliked me. The sad thing is she never really knew me. I also took great pleasure in proving her thoughts of me to be totally wrong. It's even funnier now, years later, to see her to out of her way to speak to me and be nice to me. It's like she thinks I will forget how horrible she was to me as a 15 year old. I haven't nor will I. It helped me develop tougher skin. I can't be mad at her or that. Have you ever had a bad first impression? Any horror stories? Share with me.
Praying this into existence!!
There are two topics that can get even the best of friends riled up. Wars have been waged and friendships lost behind these topics. They are politics and religion. People feel so strongly about the two. And, in general, you are either with them or against them. I an strong in my beliefs on the two. I will always state my position on either of them. I will not dismiss someone who has a strong argument for their beliefs. I also won't lose a friend over a difference of beliefs. Our differences are what make us unique and who we are. That is blueprint to who we all are. Religion and politics are just aspects of us.
Politics are a very tricky, slippery slope. Democrat or Republican or Independent. I am a Democrat. I registered as one because that's what my Mom was. After that, I began researching the party on my own. I looked into all of them. I was sure that my choice was correct. I was a Democrat because my beliefs lined up well with those of the party. I did not have anything in common with the platforms of the Republican party. And, the Independent party seemed too loose and unorganized to me. The campaign and election of President Barack Obama brought a lot of issues to light. Never before had race and politics been so closely aligned. I had numerous conversations and debates with people about my choice.
I became aware of Mr. Obama during the DNC in 2004. Then, he was a little known Senator out of Chicago. He gave a speech that just captured my attention. There was a light in his eyes. He looked like a star. To me, it was feasible that he would be a contender in 2008. Facebook friends and coworkers all seemed to be against him. And, the bottom line was they didn't want a Black President. That thought was astounding to me. I could not truly believe that in 2007/2008, race was an ultimate issue. After I had that epiphany, I stop battling. I showed my support for candidate Obama with pins, shirts, and informing those who didn't know about his appeal. I can definitely say that a small part of me voted for the Black man. Overall, I voted for the best candidate whose platform closely resembled my beliefs. Nothing else mattered more to me. My political standings are my own.
Another hot button topic is religion. I was raised a Baptist. I believe in God. I was baptized as a kid and then again as an adult. My spirituality is important to me. More important than any organized religion. My relationship with God is my own. Religion has always been a sore spot within countries. Wars have been waged and carried on for years behind it. I do not get that with the diversity of religions that there isn't more compassion between them. I believe there is only one God. I do not see how he could be different from religion to religion. He is the alpha and the omega. That should be a universal truth.
I do not debate religion with people any more. It is a lost cause I believe. A person's religious beliefs are usually very strong, deep and true. It's hard to change some one's mind about their God. That is a personal issue. I cannot comprehend how one's religious beliefs would lead them to strapping a bomb on their body and killing themselves and others because of religion. My God doe not operate like that. It appears very cultish to me. Religion has existed for centuries. It hasn't changed fundamentally in eons. The Bible or the Koran both are the word of God with a little bit of man mixed in. To me, those words carry much weight. Religious differences have led to strive and discourse for years. It's a touchy subject when the people aren't like-minded. I love to be engaged by people who are knowledgeable about the Word. Religious conversations are not always easy and simple. Sometimes they get heated and quickly. cooler heads have to prevail for both sides to learn anything.
With all the things going on in the world, religion and politics have been on my mind. It's clear that the world will never be one big "We Are The World" song. I just wish there was a little more understanding and compassion from all of us to people who are different and think different than us. We are all here fighting to live one more day. We pray and we vote. Well, some of us do. Being able to appreciate some one's differences shows a more human side of all of us. I'm a Democratic Baptist who focuses on the issues and my own spirituality. That is my own truth. That may not work for others. But, my ideology works for me. I am open to what people have to say. I take in what feel is useful. I leave the rest for the next person. I'm just me - not overly religious or staunchly political. But, I do have a stance on both issues. Do you?
Over-thinking. Over-analyzing. Stressing out. All parts of my life that I could use a whole lot less of. I am just about over it and them. I am always in my head. about anything and everything. Even after I've made a decision, I am still thinking about it. I analyze people, places, and things non-stop. It is commonplace with me. It's a part of my DNA. It's what I do. Some say it is my Sagittarian nature. I'm not exactly sure what it is but I know its who I am.
Sometimes there are questions that I have agonized over in my head for weeks. I hate to ask them. But, the answers are needed dearly in my life. I can literally make myself ill with worry. It's really not a healthy habit. I just do not know any other way. I am who I am. All of my little idiosyncrasies make me who I am. I do not worry others with this issue. I tend to keep it to myself for the most part. People always tell me not to stress over over think. But, that is easier said than done. It's very hard to break life long habits that are a deep part of your character.
Over-thinking and over-analyzing a situation does nothing for the situation honestly. It just stresses me out even more. I hate to fail. I would hate to make the wrong choice about something that could affect me for life. But what does calm me down is the fact that I know that life is always about those choices. that no matter what choice I make or don't make, life goes on. And that if I mess it up (which I def have in the past and will probably do in the future), I can fix it in my future. Free will is kind of awesome like that. My outside demeanor is always pretty cool. I'm really good at that. I have decided that working on this is a priority for me. Fingers crossed and prayers sent up that I can do it.
So I'm in the bed typing this after celebrating my brother's 25th birthday tonight. I've been drinking (shout out to Ciroc) but I'm not drunk. I feel the need to call one specific person & let him into my soul for a while. I'm a tad bit tipsy & I'm sure I'm rambling. But, I'm wondering if the old addage is true. Does a drunk mind speak a sober heart? Like why is it that I wanna confess some things to him right now? My saving grace is the fact that he didn't answer when I called & this blog. I'm blaming it all on the Ciroc. That has to be the cause. I actually learned a long time ago that when I drink alot, I shouldn't talk alot. I'm laying in bed wishing I was next to him there instead of here. Wishing I had the courage to leap without looking. Hell, right now, I just wanna hear his voice. *le sigh* Maybe I am drunk. Maybe I should stop blogging and start sleeping this Ciroc off. *lol* Idk. *Kanye shrug* Hopefully, I'll see him in my dreams.
