Marital Advice

I read this article a few months ago. It was recently brought to my attention again via Facebook. I didn't like it then, still don't like it now. This article comes off as very demeaning to single women. I don't think I took it personal because I am unmarried. I don't believe in every thing I read. Besides, in the last year, I've read too many articles about how Black women aren't attractive or how no one wants to marry Black women. All of those articles are pure bs to me. I will never let society decide how I see myself and other Black women. We, in general, are a lot of things. Most of them are awesomeness personified. The world can dump on Black women all they want. We have a history and culture that is so unique and distinct that no one can chop us down. We are the mother of all civilization. You cannot talk down to that.

Getting back to that article. It's written by a Black woman. That's my first issue with it. Black women spend too much time downplaying other Black women. That needs to stop asap. If we don't respect each other, no one else will. This author has been married and divorced THREE times. So yes, that makes her an expert on how to get married. But she's also an expert on how not to stay married. So why would I take her advice? Like really? And, the article isn't written from the viewpoint of "don't follow in my footsteps" or "here's what not to do if you want to get married." Tracy writes from the view of "you're a desperate bitch and that's why you are single." Constructive criticism it is not. I can't even begin to take this faulty advice from her.

I don't like preachy articles. Or ones that tell me how I should be or how I should act to get/keep/marry a man. There is a whole industry dedicated to single women who want to be married. I've never been big on those self help books. For many years, I never even wanted to be married. I wasn't looking for happily ever after. I was young, having fun and enjoying my 20's. I read "He's Just Not That Into You" at the nail shop one day. It was hilarious to me. It was filled with the most common sense things. Things I did not need to read to know. But, it made millons as a book and even more as a movie. Why? Because some women need instructions. I'm not in that category. I do not believe that my life will be defined by if I do or don't get married or if I do or don't have kids. These are things I want now as a woman in her early 30's. But, I also know that I define me.

I know I can be very opinionated. For as far back as I can remember, I was taught to speak my mind. That has never been a problem for me. I value my opinion more than any one else's. It's never failed me before. I'm hardest on myself because of what I think of me. It makes me a better person, writer, and woman. Maybe others took Tracy's article in a different way. Maybe I took it to literal. All I know is that both times I read it, my reaction was the same. Utter disgust. I wasn't impressed at all. I don't think it's helpful or nice. But that could just be me and my beliefs. What do you guys think? Let me know.

Labels Are For Clothes, Right?

Labels define us.
Woman.
Sister.
Aunt.
Writer.
Poet.
Dreamer.
Lover.
Assertive.
Snobby.
Dominant.
Bossy.
Mean.


Bitch.

That one word seems to hold so much power. Why though? It's just a word. I don't like the negative connotations that are associated with it. When a woman is being assertive or aggressive, she's labeled a bitch. Why? If a man in the same position was doing the same thing, he would be patted on the the back. So if I'm bossy and I take charge, does that make me a bitch? If so, I'll be that.

People can think many things about me. They can feel however they chose. They can play judge and jury over my life. But they can also kindly keep their thoughts to themselves. I am a sweetheart. I love my people. I will help anyone I can when I can. If you're in my life, and I got your back. But if you cross me, you will see that fiery side of me. I can certainly play the bitch role. I am a Sagittarius who possesses a quick wit, sharp tongue, extensive intelligence and a smart ass mouth. Basically, not someone you really want to spar with. I will win. And smile when I'm done. I am bossy and assertive and very focused. Some don't like those attributes in me. They are unimportant to me. I'm me, 100% every day. It's not an act or a facade. Kenda is just Kenda.

In general, I'm not a mouse or submissive woman. Well, I will submit to my husband as the good book says to. But that's different, that's the love of my life. I will not bend or bow down. I fight for who and what I believe in. Does any of that make me a bitch? *shrug* Oh the hell well. I have no problem with the word. My issue lies with people hurling it at me to cut me down. What you're not gonna do is call me a bitch and walk away. Oh we will have words. That's just what it is.

I have been called many things. Some good, some not so good. A few to my face, more behind my back. That always makes me laugh. If a person isn't bold enough to say it is to my face, I don't even react. Clearly, who I am bothers them. And that's a personal issue. People hate in others either what they lack in themselves or what they see in themselves. Either way, it's not my problem. Words only have the power we assign them. I say we drain the power of negative words and labels. We should all just exist. Living our lives to the fullest. What's the one word that gets under others skin that you could careless about? Let's discuss.

I Need More Of This

Praying this into existence!!