Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Get Into It: Nicki Minaj's new track


         




The mixtape Nicki is back! And, I couldn't be happier. Nicki dropped a new track and visual for "Lookin Ass N***a." The song will be featured on the Young Money compilation cd "Rise of an Empire" dues out March 11th and her solo cd "The Pink Print." The track is hard hitting and full of tough talk. I love when Nicki just raps, no gimmicks. The girl can flow. I've said that since I first heard her. I hope this is the direction she goes in for her new cd. I love it. Get into it. 




Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Celebrating Whitney




Two years ago, Whitney Houston's death shocked the world. I distinctly remember being a little girl singing into my hair brush to Whitney Houston songs. I loved her music and her dresses and the fact that she was a brown girl like me. Even as a kid, I knew how special Whitney was. I grew up to her music. I used to live for her videos as well. Whitney was ours. There was something so classy about her to me. It is hard to believe that she is gone, that it has been two years since her shocking death. I wrote this two years ago about her funeral. I remember watching it and still being in disbelief. 




I am so saddened by her passing still. Listening to her music today has been melancholy. Whitney will always represent my carefree childhood. There isn't a song from her first few albums that I do not know. She was always played in my house. My cousins and I were always singing her songs. So, on the day that she passed two years ago, I decided to celebrate her life through her music. There will never be another Whitney. There couldn't be. She was one of a kind. Still love her voice. Rest easy, Ms. Houston.  





Monday, February 10, 2014

"The College Dropout" Turns Ten




I am a music snob. I like what I like and there is nothing wrong for that. I also judge folks (slightly) on their music tastes. I love to hear music from new acts. Such was the case the first time I heard of Kanye West. The song was "Home" and I was sold.  I knew of Kanye by way of an old Chicago friend who passed me a cd with underground Ye tracks. I also started to hear about him producing for Jay. A decade ago, one of my favorite albums was released. "The College Dropout" became the soundtrack of my life in 2004. There was nothing I listened to more than this cd that year. It was so fresh and different and real. I loved everything about it. Kanye gained a new fan in me. I loved his voice and tone and lyrics. His production was top notch. Dude was just golden. I am very picky when it comes to what rappers I listen to and support. The number is small. Kanye did not have any problem making the cut. I would play the cd constantly. "Spaceship" is still one of my favorite songs ever. I remember the day like it was yesterday.



I also remember the first time I saw Kanye in concert. He was the opening act for Usher's "Confession" tour. I was more excited to see Ye than Usher. This was the rapper who I had been blasting for months. I stood up during Ye's whole set, rapped along to ever song. My cousin was amazed cause she barely knew who he was. She was there strictly for Usher. That was one of the best concerts I've ever attended. I've seen Ye every single time he's been to New Orleans, except for the Yeezus tour. Ten years ago, Kanye gained a fan in me. Now, I may not have loved his latest efforts but I am still a fan. The man is a musical genius. I love his producer side as much as his rapper side. "The College Dropout" will always be classic in my book. It was definitive in my life. I woke up to it and went to sleep to it. I cannot recall any other project that came out that year that I rocked with harder.  There was a hunger and about TCD era Ye. He is still dope. I am still a fan. "The College Dropout" turned ten today. Where did the time go?! Happy Birthday, "The College Dropout."




Sunday, February 09, 2014

Do It For TheVine

I do not have a Vine account. I don't even know what the app or website truly look like. But, these gems have graced my Twitter timeline more than once. Whenever I am having a day where I desperately need a pick me up, any of these do the trick. "Do it for the vine. I ain't gon do it" has to be my new favorite. Get into them. If you have faves, please share them with me. Happy Sunday people!

"Do it for the Vine. I ain't gon do it."


"You mad, Bruh? Why you mad?"


"Bow Bow this ain't what they want."


"Don't talk shit if you can't take shit"


"No Ma'am!!"


"Oh that's Vine?!?"

Speed Reader


How fast do you read? Do you know? If not, you can find out by taking this test on the Staples website. I know that I read extremely fast. I have for as long as I can remember. My Mother has called me "speed reader" since I was a kid. Case in point, I have finished 4 books ("A Belle in Brooklyn," "Project Chick 2," "Revenge Wears Prada," & "The Happiness Project") in four days just this week alone. I am a voracious reader. I love words and stories and books. They are just my thing. So, I could not resist taking this test. The first time, I scored a 681. The second time, a 827. I am very proud of my results and not at all surprised. I took it twice because the first passage was from a book I love and I felt like it was two easy. The second passage is from a book I've never picked up in my life. Great fun for this bibliophile. 




Saturday, February 08, 2014

Justice For Jordan Davis




Jordan Davis' killer is finally on trial. It started this past Thursday. This case happened on the heels of the Trayvon Martin murder. I've written about Davis' murder before here and here. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Being Black is not a reason to be shot and killed. I am just praying that the Davis' family gets the justice and peace that was not afforded to Sybrina and Tracy. We want justice for Jordan. Let's put cold blooded killers where they belong: behind bars. #JusticeForJordan




Friday, February 07, 2014

Get Into It: With Love, Jia!



I have been searching for motivation and inspiration since the beginning of the year. It's the reason I read and reviewed "The Happiness Project" and started my Gratitude Jar. I decided that 2014 was going to be the year of positivity in my life and I truly believe that when you ask the universe for things, the universe delivers. Since I have adapted this way of thinking and being, things have been looking up. I could not have asked for more when Jia tweeted about her new venture, "With Love, Jia." I was intrigued so I signed up. Yesterday, I received the first official love letter, "Love Letter I: Focusing on the Positives in 5." It was the first thing I saw that morning and I needed it. The love letter focused on something we all can identify with: self doubt. The way we can rattle off ten things we dislike or would change about ourselves. I loved the way it was written. Jia has a way with words. The newsletter called for the reader to write down 5 things they love about themselves physically and emotional/mental things. This wasn't as easy as I thought it would be but I did it. I wanted to share them here:


The five physical things I love about myself:
  • I love my pale legs. I am constantly teased about the color of them but I love everything about them. 
  • I love my cheeks on my face. When I am really happy, my cheeks are so full and my eyes become very slanted. I love it though. My cheeks are fat and cute.  
  • I am so in love with my natural hair. Whether it's a braid out or a bantu knot out, I love it. And, when my hair is perfect, you really cannot tell me anything. At all. 
  • The three beauty marks on my right thumb, wrist and arm. I call them the Holy Trinity. I just really love them. 
  •  Last but certainly not least, I LOVE my boobs! They are amazing. Love, love, love them. 
The five mental/emotional things I love about myself:  
  • I am a great listener. I don't just listen until it's time for me to talk. I listen so I can help.  
  • I give great advice. My family and friends always tell me this.  
  • I love the way my mind works. I am intelligent and I am a thinker. I like to figure things out for myself.  I truly like myself. I have no problem being alone because I am never lonely. I enjoy my own company.  
  • I love my relationship with music. The way I hear it and interpret the lyrics. 
  • I love the way I can lose myself in a book.  I am a reader. It's my thing.  
Life can be pretty hard. I know I can be tough on myself. I don't know one person who couldn't use more inspiration and motivation. It is something everyone can benefit from. On New Year's Eve, I simply decided that I was going to be happy, no ifs, ands or buts. Everything I am thinking, doing, pursuing has to fall into the happiness category for me. Jia's newsletter helps me with that. This newsletter can be that for you as well. The first love letter asked us to share it so, I decided this blog post would be the perfect avenue to do just that. If this sounds like something that you need, join in. You can sign up via the website. You can also follow the movement via  Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, and Instagram.  Get into "With Love, Jia" today!!!

Thursday, February 06, 2014

"What Did Your Ex Teach You?"



On this week's episode of "Being Mary Jane," Mary Jane asked her date Sean a great date question. "What did your ex teach you?" While that was my favorite scene from the episode, it made me think. I'm a 34 year old woman who has been on love twice and been in a few other relationships. What have I learned thus far is that I've been taught some incredible lessons. I want to focus only on the positive things I've been taught by the two men I've loved. The more I think about it, the more evident their impact on my life is. It's funny the little things you pick up along this journey called life. The people you meet and have in your life leave pieces of themselves with you when they leave. I am also very interested in what any of my exes responses would be to this question. I hope that they have learned something great from knowing me. 



My first love taught me a few things. I was very self conscious as a 14 year old. He would compliment every inch of me. I was a very serious kid. He taught me to not be so serious and to laugh more. We did that a lot. He taught me all about football because he played. Up until then, I was strictly a basketball girl. We were kids with big dreams. We both wanted more than the neighborhood we grew up in. He taught me about being comfortable with voicing my dreams. I would tell him everything and vice versa. In hindsight, neither of us knew a thing back then. We are pretty clueless while trying to find our way through our teenage years. We grew up together. I am thankful for that love at that time. In that moment, it was innocent and pure and right. I actually never thought I would look back and think of KG in a positive light. 



The love of my life taught me the most. He taught me what love truly is. I never knew that I could ever love someone with my entire heart. He broaden my horizons on the way I see things and the way I evaluate them. He taught me about complete communication in a relationship. We talked everything put before it became a problem. With him, I was no longer a hot head. We didn't argue. I'll always say this was my first real adult relationship. Spiritually, he has been the most influential person in my life. We would discuss the Bible in great detail and religion and spirituality. He fed that part of me. Because of him, I've read books I never would have, watched movies outside of my normal box, watched shows I never even heard of. He taught me compassion. No matter what happened in the end, I cannot forget all the goodness that I received because of and through him. I am not too far removed from this love with KB to reflect fully. But, these things are self evident and true. He loved me in a way that I never knew possible. I am thankful for that. 


My favorite uncle once told me "If you aren't learning something from your mate and them from you, leave. Because that isn't a healthy relationship for either of you." I've always kept that in the back of my mind. I hope that I've taught my exes something as well. Things that have made them better, more rounded men. Things that years from now will make them smile if I happen to cross their minds. Through life, we meet people who change us in small or big ways by the things they teach us. They become a part of us and our journey. It's amazing how that happens. What has an ex taught you?


Wednesday, February 05, 2014

This Reader's Review: Part XX: Demetria L. Lucas "A Belle in Brooklyn"




I cannot recall how I first heard of Demetria L. Lucas. I didn't know her real name at that moment. She was just "A Belle in Brooklyn." She is a relationship expert, a blogger, journalist, an author and now a reality tv star on Bravo's "Blood, Sweat, and Heels." I've been following her for some time now on Twitter.  She gives great advice via her ask.fm page and she tweets interesting things daily. I feel like I know her and I like her. I've been wanting to read her debut novel "A Belle in Brooklyn:  The Go-to Girl For Advice on Living Your Best Single Life" for some time now. But, I have an enormous to be read list and stack. But, I was in the library last weekend and couldn't pass it up. I dived right into. From the opening paragraph, it was everything I wanted it to be and more. I could not put it down. I needed to know more about these men and the dating scene in New York. I finished it in a day and a half. 


I kinda live tweeted some of my favorite parts of the book. This book is one woman's dating journey. I love Lucas' take on men and dating. I love the way she paints the pictures. I felt like I knew all of the characters in her book. Her voice and tone are very distinct. I love an author that makes me feel like I am right in the center of their literary world. Lucas does this effortlessly. The setting of her book is mostly New York with trips to DC and L.A. The men are different and varied. She dispenses real life advice for single women  about men and dating. I learned a lot from reading this book. There was one paragraph that hit me like a ton of bricks. I've included it below. It was like a ton of bricks fell on my head. I was deeply invested in her dating tales, especially those involving Greg. "A Belle in Brooklyn" was an easy, fun read. I loved it. Lucas will be releasing her second book, "Don't Waste Your Pretty:The Go-to Guide for Making Smarter Decisions in Life & Love" this year. I cannot wait to read it.  




Tuesday, February 04, 2014

Ladies Love Lyrics: Tamia's "Almost"


I'm sitting here listening to Spotify radio while reading. This song comes on and my heart drops. "Almost" has been one of my favorite Tamia song since the day I first heard it. I love Tamia. She is, in my opinion, one of the most slept on great singers of my lifetime. She is that dope to me. Anyway, back to this song. The lyrics have always pulled at my heart. But, tonight, they made me super sad. I know exactly why. How can you not get sad about almost having it all? That's exactly how I'm feeling as I type this. Tamia gets it. The song has been on repeat for 23 minutes and 14 seconds. Don't judge me. Get into these lyrics/ 

"Can you tell me
How can one miss what she's never had
How could I reminisce when there is no past
How could I have memories of being happy with you boy
Could someone tell me how can this be
How could my mind pull up incidents
Recall dates and times that never happened
How could we celebrate a love that's to late
And how could I really mean the words I'm bout to say

[Chorus]
I missed the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there
I miss the times that we use to kiss
At least in my dreams
Just let me take my time and reminisce
I miss the times that we never had
What happened to us we were almost there
Whoever said it's impossible to miss when you never had
Never almost had you

I cannot believe I let you go
Or what I should say I should've grabbed you up and never let you go
I should've went out with you
I should've made you my boo boy
Yes that's one time I should've broke the rules
I should've went on a date
Should've found a way to escape
Should've turned a almost into
If it happened now its to late
How could I celebrate a love that wasn't real
And if it didn't happen why does my heart feel..."

Monday, February 03, 2014

Places I Must Visit: Belize



Belize is one of the places on my list that I don't know a whole lot about. But, from the pictures I've seen and the articles I've read it deserves to be on my list. It is a gorgeous place. I want to be anywhere that is near or surrounded by water. I would love to just walk along the beaches in Belize while taking in the bluest water I've ever seen. There is an incredible zoo there which is a must see. Belize is known for its restaurants and scenery. Just absolutely breathtaking. I am quite enamored with it. Belize is a new entry on my list. Must make it there ASAPtually. I have to. 








Sunday, February 02, 2014

An Ode to Black Girls in Red Lips



#Blackgirlsinredlipstick was a topic on Tumblr a while back. Until a few years ago, it was not a shade I purchased. I am just getting into red lippie's. I had to fight all those stigma's I've heard all my life about dark skin and red lips and that only loose women wear red lipstick. Red lipstick just never seemed like something a brown skinned girl such as myself should wear. Shaking all of this off, I decided to step out on faith. I am in the habit of putting on red lipstick just to clean the house. I wear it doing random things to make myself more comfortable with the idea. I take pictures of myself in red lipstick for the same reason. I just feel happier, lighter and more fierce when I have on red lipstick. It does something to my attitude and ego. I can't fully explain it, it's just a feeling.  



 It isn't about how others think I look in it or what they think about me. This is about me accepting myself in everything. So, if I want to wear a red lippie, then damn it I will. And, I will be fierce doing so because nothing is sexier than intelligence and confidence. I happen to possess both by the boat loads. Since I am a red lip novice, buying the right shade of red for a brown girl was a task. I spent at least 45 minutes in Target agonizing over two shades. I purchased two different shades from two different companies. One was a "Oh hell no" and I had to give it to my cousin who is two shades lighter than me. But, the second was a total win. It was the Kate Moss line by Rimmel. The shade has no name, just a number: 107. It is a berry red that compliments my skin tone. I desperately needed it for my brother's red and black color themed birthday party almost two years ago. Since then, I've worn it sporadically. 




 I'm getting more comfortable with shades of red adorning my lips. Just last night, I was hit with another red lippie dilemma. My cousin's all white bridal shower also called for everyone to wear red lipstick. I needed a new shade. I instantly knew that Revlon's Colorblast in Fire was a win. I loved that it was a lipstick and a gloss all in one. I loved it so much that I wore it again today. I am really digging the way it looks on me. It is very glossy which I am always looking for. This is how this Black girl learned to embrace a red lipstick for the greater good. Here's hoping you guys find your perfect shade as well. 






Saturday, February 01, 2014

So Let's Talk Randoms



  • I'm being haunted in my dreams. That is the only way to describe it. I keep dreaming of this little brown girl with jet black hair. She is adorable and in my dreams, she is mine. I think this is my biological clock ticking. I hate it. Especially since I am quite sure that motherhood is no longer an option for me. It's sad but it is what it is. However, in my dreams, my little girl is the best thing ever. 
  • The library is still my favorite places. Going there today to recenter myself. I need a little clarity and insight. Oh and desperately need some new books. I have a list and so far, it's 26 books long. o_O I'm thinking 8 is a good number to start with. I cannot wait to go. Now, if only I could get out of bed and get moving. 
  • I haven't watched one basketball game this season. I'm divided. My Celtics aren't the same team. The Nets stole my 2 favorite players. I don't know who to watch. It's quite sad.
  • I really hate hospitals. Despise them. Been in them too much in the last week. I don't know why they freak me out so much.
  • For the first time in a long time, I no longer hurt. My entire body used to hurt as well as my heart. I don't feel like that broken woman anymore. I laugh and mean it.  I smile and I feel it. I breathe easier. Life feels lighter. I have prayed constantly for this feeling. I'm still not 100% back to my old self. But, I feel closer today than I have for a while. Thank you, God. I needed this more than anyone could ever know. 

  • If you do me wrong in any way, shape, or form, don't expect me to forgive and forget. Depending on the person, I will forgive. But, if you aren't in that tiny number, forgetting your transgression is something I won't do. For me, you no longer exist. Do not hit me up on some "hey stranger" ish because I do not operate like that. When I am 100% done with you, I am done. There is no coming back. I don't know why this is so hard for people to get. 
  • I am not really that excited about the Superbowl. I don't really care for either team. But, I do want the Seahawks to win. Doubt that I'll even watch the game though. I am just kinda over sports right now. Maybe next season will be better for me and my Saints!
  • Is it February 27th yet? Is it time for "Scandal" yet? This break has been waaayyy too long. I miss my favorite show. 
  • I am so over White people and their blatant racism and cultural appropriations. I wish they all would stop. Stop their insensitive and ignorant fuckery. I simply cannot take it. This week alone, there was bs at the Grammy's, Trayvon Martin's killer signing up to do "Celebrity Boxing," a white girl writing an article for Jane about a Black woman being in her yoga class, that below average white rapper instagramming an apology text to Kendrick Lamar, John Boehner sitting behind the President with skin the color and texture of burnt orange leather, and Madonna wearing a grill. Those are just the things I can recall off the top of my head. White people, stop it. Go home, you're drunk. 

Friday, January 31, 2014

This Reader's Review: Part XIX: "The Happiness Project"


I hadn't read a new book in about a week. I was searching for something new to jump in to. I was in desperate need to find something new to read. This was the perfect book for me. The book is "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin. Happiness is something I've struggled with for the last year. In short, I couldn't find my way back to happy. I started this year off with one simple thought: be happy. To me, that meant thinking happy thoughts to change my outlook, even when I didn't feel happy. So, in a way, I was already exploring my own happiness project when I discovered this gem via my friend Joseph's Tumblr page. I had so many "a-ha" moments while reading. I love when a book makes me rethink things. There are things I have been doing all wrong. I learned so much from this book. I think everyone would learn a lot from Rubin's book. 


"Love is a funny thing." -- Gretchen Rubin
"Nietzsche wrote, "All truly great thoughts are conceived while walking," 

Do I believe it possible to make myself happy? Yes. I can honestly say that this book made me re-evaluate the way I approach the idea of happiness. By the time I reached the end of chapter one, I knew that this was a book I needed to read. It's funny the way things just fall into your lap right at the precise moment. The more I read Rubin's account of her journey to happiness, the more I saw myself in her words. Like Rubin, I too feel that I can be happier, that I'm supposed to be happier. I was already on the right word with my thinking positive motivation. By the time, I got to the end of this book, I felt happier. I felt like I had found another purpose for this year in my life. I wrote the areas in my life that needed to be happier and thoughts on how to achieve them. is happiness for me may not be for anyone else. But, I am the only person who can define what my idea of happiness truly is. I'm excited about it. This was a great read. I 100% recommend it to any and everyone. Get into Grtchen Rubin's "The Happiness Project" and her one sentence journal.  


"To be happy, I need to think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right." -- Gretchen Rubin
"It's a secret of Adulthood: Do good, feel good." -- Gretchen Rubin 

Thursday, January 30, 2014

I Choose Me

I started the year with a distinct promise to myself. This year would be about becoming a better version of myself. I knew that this would take a bunch of little steps to fulfill the bigger promise. Things like my gratitude jar, which I love. I write down one good thing at the end of the night. It makes me smile when writing it. Also, I decided to be happy or at least act happy. I've spent entirely too much time last year being unhappy because of the actions of other people. Every day I wake up with that thought "Be Happy." It is absolutely true what Gretchen Rubin writes in "The Happiness Project," Look for happiness under your own roof” & “Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.”  



Things that would normally bother me, don't anymore. I have truly given myself over to this new way of thinking and being. I can no longer carry unhappiness around with me like an accessory. Bad things happen. More often than not, to good people. But, for as long as I am on this Earth, I have the chance to change my circumstances. I messed up before. I put the keys to my happiness in the hands of another. That was the wrong move. Because it gave that person the power to break me and they did. I became a woman I didn't know last year. I was angry and hurt and upset and sullen. I do not have time for that woman anymore. She no longer exists. 



Thinking happy thoughts has truly changed my outlook. I'm not saying that I won't stumble because I will. I had a day this week where I could not muster a happy thought. So, I allowed myself to feel what I was feeling. I gave myself the day and then I was over it. I am fully aware of everything in my life. I know the good and bad. I do not sugarcoat anything. I think that there has to be more in store for me, for my life. I'm more determined than every to find out what it is. My happy thought for today is a simple one: "the weather is warming up, I'm out of the house and life is good. I am thankful for today." For me, these are the thoughts that get me through my day. What more can I ask for? Happiness, is indeed, a choice. I choose to be happy everyday. So should you. 

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Faking It Til You Make: The Music Version

For the last month and a half, I've been playing this one song daily. It's a motivational tool for me. One of those "fake it til you make it" moments. It also happens to be one of my favorite Boyz II Men songs. It's "Doin Just Fine" from their "Evolution" cd. I've always thought this was the ultimate "I'm finely over the person who broke my heart songs." While I'm not there yet, this song gives me hope. I find it ironic that this is the first song on the cd and it is followed by "Never" which is another song that has been getting a lot of play in my world. The lyrics for both are things I feel I need to hear daily so that I don't completely check out on certain aspects of life. Especially on today of all days. Today is a bad day. But, music makes it slightly better. If you've never heard them, do yourself a favor and get into them (and their lyrics) below. If you've ever been brokenhearted, these songs will resonate with you on a deeper level. Let's listen.




"I'm doin' just fine 
Getting along very well 
Without you in my life 
I don't need you in my life 
I'm doin' just fine 
Time made me stronger 
You're no longer on my mind 

You were my earth 
My number one priority 
I gave me love to only you 
Anything you'd ask of me 
I would do 
But somewhere down the road 
You felt a change in the weather 
And told me that you had to journey on 
A kiss in the wind and your love was gone..."



"Never, never let a broken heart
Take a chance for love away
Don't ever let it make you fall apart
Never, never ever let the pain
Take your need for love away
Never, no never

And I know it seems hard
Open up, let down your guard
But you owe it to your heart
Try again
Oh, comes a time
When we must change
With the past
Has thrown away
Don't take the blame
Don't be ashamed
Throw your fears away..."

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Brown Skin, You Know I Love My Brown Skin


I've never had an issue with the color of my skin. I've never wanted to be lighter like my Dad or darker like my Mom. I loved my brown skin because it was the perfect mix of my parents. I was the median between the two. I had parents who instilled in me a love for my skin and Black people in general. My childhood was filled with positive affirmations about the brown skin I was in. I had a room full of Black Barbie dolls and Black Cabbage Patch dolls. Even before I really knew what it meant, I loved being Black. I liked being a little Brown girl with long Black hair. I was a carefree child. I thank my parents for that. This brown skin I'm in fits me perfectly. I was meant to be this shade. I love it. 


So much has changed since I was that carefree little Black girl. I'm no longer a naive child. I've loved and lost. Friends have come and gone. I've lost some of my favorite people to random acts of violence. Babies have been born. I've grown up. But, the one thing that hasn't changed is this: I still love my brown skin. I still love my Black people. That won't ever change. With so many attacks on Blackness daily via the media, it is easy to only see the negative in people who look like me. But, I refuse to. We are not a monolith. My nine nieces and nephews and 3 Godchildren are all varying shades of brown skin. I compliment them all because children need to be cherished. They all need to know that all shades of Blackness are beautiful. We are a gorgeous group of people. I want them to embrace that the same way I have. My Black is beautiful. Always. 

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Creating Your Natural Hair Routine



So, you've decided to return to your natural state. Now what? I know from experience that creating a natural hair routine can be daunting in the beginning. There are so many things to decide. You've made the biggest one already. You will be a natural woman. There is a lot of information and it can get overwhelming. I am here to help you create a new hair routine as a natural hair woman. Don't be frightened. This is a journey you don't want to miss. 

First, you need to decide if you will transition or big chop (BC). I transitioned for many reasons. Mainly because I was scared of cutting all my hair off. I only had short hair once in my life. Either way, it's a huge decision. If you BC, you have to adjust to a shorter 'do. If you transition, you will have to learn how to manage your hair once it becomes natural at the roots and relaxed at the ends. 

Second, research natural hair like you're going to write a 25 page term paper. Learn everything you can about your hair. Read everything you can on natural hair. Google is your friend. I relied heavily on articles dedicated to natural hair and websites like CurlyNikki. Also, I am convinced that YouTube was invented for this purpose only: to help Black girls return to their natural state via watching tutorials. I live for Naptural85 and SimplYounique. Their tutorials helped me so much. There are literally thousands of natural hair vloggers. Type in natural hair on the YouTube search engine and a new world opens up for you. But, be careful, one video can lead to hours spent in front of the computer. Trust me, I know. 

Third,  find what works for you. If you are transitioning, this time is easier because for a while you will still be dealing with your relaxed hair. In your research, you will read all about the oils to use and what products work well. It is all important. You are not obligated to become a product junkie or a kitchen chemist. Also, realize that there is a lot of trial and error when it comes to trying out new products. What works for some may not work for you. I suggest staying on the cheaper end of things in the beginning. It makes no sense to dole out major money on something that may not work. I still use Suave Humectant conditioner for my pre-poo. The largest bottle retails at $2.79. It's affordable and it works well for me. I have found that you cannot go wrong with shea butter, water, and grapeseed oil. Find what works for you. 

Fourth, doing your own natural hair can take some time. For this reason alone, I do my hair on the weekends. This is to insure that my hair will be fully dry for work on Monday morning. My hair is very thick so this always takes some time. I live for braid outs and bantu knot outs. So, it usually takes me at least two hours to do my hair. I try not to use heat on my hair so it could take a full 8 hours for it to dry completely. 

Finally, have fun and enjoy the journey. Your hair is an extension of you. It grows from your head just the way God intended. This journey should be fun. You should embrace it while in it. There has been nothing better than this journey for me.  Your hair will do exactly what God meant for it to do. A natural hair routine takes a little while to perfect. You will find what works best for your hair. So whether you are a wash and go girl or a twist out sista, all of it takes practice and a little time to perfect. Your natural journey is your own. Personalize it.