So Let's Talk Randoms

• I'm being haunted in my dreams. That is the only way to describe it. I keep dreaming of this little brown girl with jet black hair. She is adorable and in my dreams, she is mine. I think this is my biological clock ticking. I hate it. Especially since I am quite sure that motherhood is no longer an option for me. It's sad but it is what it is. However, in my dreams, my little girl is the best thing ever. 
• The library is still my favorite places. Going there today to recenter myself. I need a little clarity and insight. Oh and desperately need some new books. I have a list and so far, it's 26 books long. o_O I'm thinking 8 is a good number to start with. I cannot wait to go. Now, if only I could get out of bed and get moving. 
• I haven't watched one basketball game this season. I'm divided. My Celtics aren't the same team. The Nets stole my 2 favorite players. I don't know who to watch. It's quite sad.
• I really hate hospitals. Despise them. Been in them too much in the last week. I don't know why they freak me out so much.
• For the first time in a long time, I no longer hurt. My entire body used to hurt as well as my heart. I don't feel like that broken woman anymore. I laugh and mean it.  I smile and I feel it. I breathe easier. Life feels lighter. I have prayed constantly for this feeling. I'm still not 100% back to my old self. But, I feel closer today than I have for a while. Thank you, God. I needed this more than anyone could ever know. 

• If you do me wrong in any way, shape, or form, don't expect me to forgive and forget. Depending on the person, I will forgive. But, if you aren't in that tiny number, forgetting your transgression is something I won't do. For me, you no longer exist. Do not hit me up on some "hey stranger" ish because I do not operate like that. When I am 100% done with you, I am done. There is no coming back. I don't know why this is so hard for people to get. 
• I am not really that excited about the Superbowl. I don't really care for either team. But, I do want the Seahawks to win. Doubt that I'll even watch the game though. I am just kinda over sports right now. Maybe next season will be better for me and my Saints!
• Is it February 27th yet? Is it time for "Scandal" yet? This break has been waaayyy too long. I miss my favorite show. 
• I am so over White people and their blatant racism and cultural appropriations. I wish they all would stop. Stop their insensitive and ignorant fuckery. I simply cannot take it. This week alone, there was bs at the Grammy's, Trayvon Martin's killer signing up to do "Celebrity Boxing," a white girl writing an article for Jane about a Black woman being in her yoga class, that below average white rapper instagramming an apology text to Kendrick Lamar, John Boehner sitting behind the President with skin the color and texture of burnt orange leather, and Madonna wearing a grill. Those are just the things I can recall off the top of my head. White people, stop it. Go home, you're drunk.