The Art of Letting Go

When I read the above on Tumblr, I knew it was a message just for me. I needed to read it. Needed to receive it. Bottom line, I needed to forgive all. Forgiveness is hard. It's hard to let go of the pain a person has caused you, hard to let go of your feelings after the hurt. But, holding on to it, doesn't make you better. I've been writing a lot about forgiveness. Who needs it, who deserves it and why it is such a hard thing to do for me. I not like being angry or sad. I don't care to hold on to the anger any longer. Simply put, I forgive you, each of you, who has ever done me wrong. I have to forgive people but not for their sake, for my own. Forgiveness is a gift I am giving to myself. I have been happier in this short year than I was all of 2013. I decided that happiness was the path I wanted to travel. I wake up with a purpose and try my hardest to not let others shake me. Since I am on the pursuit of happiness, forgiveness is a given. Forgiveness is not about the offender. It's always about the offended. Forgiveness is the gift you can give yourself. This is a valuable lesson to receive and learn. Holding on to that hurt and pain only harms you. I am stubborn. Sometimes I don't want to forgive some one who has hurt me. 

I am learning to forgive myself first. I have to forgive myself for the hurt I may have caused others as l as myself. I have to forgive me for loving too hard and protecting those who did not deserve my protection. I've forgiven a few people I never thought I would. No, I've never said the words to them. I just confessed it with my mouth and believed it with my heart. I simply let go. Why hold on to dead weight? I needed to forgive them for my own health and sanity. I needed the closure. I've held onto some of them way too long. In doing that, I unwittingly gave my offender control. I let him/her live rent free in my head. And, that isn't good for me or any of us. Every beginning deserves an end. I forgave my offenders and forgot them as well. It was a great gift to me for me. I like how much lighter my shoulders feel. Love the way my heart isn't heavy any longer. I even forgave myself for allowing someone to harm me, break my heart and/or hurt my feelings. That was the most important issue. Is there some one in your life you need to forgive? Stop holding on to it and them. Not now, but right now. Do it for you!  "Forgive, and you will be forgiven." - Matt 6:14

Get Into It: With Love, Jia!

I have been searching for motivation and inspiration since the beginning of the year. It's the reason I read and reviewed "The Happiness Project" and started my Gratitude Jar. I decided that 2014 was going to be the year of positivity in my life and I truly believe that when you ask the universe for things, the universe delivers. Since I have adapted this way of thinking and being, things have been looking up. I could not have asked for more when Jia tweeted about her new venture, "With Love, Jia." I was intrigued so I signed up. Yesterday, I received the first official love letter, "Love Letter I: Focusing on the Positives in 5." It was the first thing I saw that morning and I needed it. The love letter focused on something we all can identify with: self doubt. The way we can rattle off ten things we dislike or would change about ourselves. I loved the way it was written. Jia has a way with words. The newsletter called for the reader to write down 5 things they love about themselves physically and emotional/mental things. This wasn't as easy as I thought it would be but I did it. I wanted to share them here:

The five physical things I love about myself:

• I love my pale legs. I am constantly teased about the color of them but I love everything about them. 

• I love my cheeks on my face. When I am really happy, my cheeks are so full and my eyes become very slanted. I love it though. My cheeks are fat and cute.  

• I am so in love with my natural hair. Whether it's a braid out or a bantu knot out, I love it. And, when my hair is perfect, you really cannot tell me anything. At all. 

• The three beauty marks on my right thumb, wrist and arm. I call them the Holy Trinity. I just really love them. 

•  Last but certainly not least, I LOVE my boobs! They are amazing. Love, love, love them. 

The five mental/emotional things I love about myself:  

• I am a great listener. I don't just listen until it's time for me to talk. I listen so I can help.  

• I give great advice. My family and friends always tell me this.  

• I love the way my mind works. I am intelligent and I am a thinker. I like to figure things out for myself.  I truly like myself. I have no problem being alone because I am never lonely. I enjoy my own company.  

• I love my relationship with music. The way I hear it and interpret the lyrics. 

• I love the way I can lose myself in a book.  I am a reader. It's my thing.  

Life can be pretty hard. I know I can be tough on myself. I don't know one person who couldn't use more inspiration and motivation. It is something everyone can benefit from. On New Year's Eve, I simply decided that I was going to be happy, no ifs, ands or buts. Everything I am thinking, doing, pursuing has to fall into the happiness category for me. Jia's newsletter helps me with that. This newsletter can be that for you as well. The first love letter asked us to share it so, I decided this blog post would be the perfect avenue to do just that. If this sounds like something that you need, join in. You can sign up via the website. You can also follow the movement via  Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, and Instagram.  Get into "With Love, Jia" today!!!

This Reader's Review: Part XX: Demetria L. Lucas "A Belle in Brooklyn"

I cannot recall how I first heard of Demetria L. Lucas. I didn't know her real name at that moment. She was just "A Belle in Brooklyn." She is a relationship expert, a blogger, journalist, an author and now a reality tv star on Bravo's "Blood, Sweat, and Heels." I've been following her for some time now on Twitter.  She gives great advice via her ask.fm page and she tweets interesting things daily. I feel like I know her and I like her. I've been wanting to read her debut novel "A Belle in Brooklyn:  The Go-to Girl For Advice on Living Your Best Single Life" for some time now. But, I have an enormous to be read list and stack. But, I was in the library last weekend and couldn't pass it up. I dived right into. From the opening paragraph, it was everything I wanted it to be and more. I could not put it down. I needed to know more about these men and the dating scene in New York. I finished it in a day and a half. 

I kinda live tweeted some of my favorite parts of the book. This book is one woman's dating journey. I love Lucas' take on men and dating. I love the way she paints the pictures. I felt like I knew all of the characters in her book. Her voice and tone are very distinct. I love an author that makes me feel like I am right in the center of their literary world. Lucas does this effortlessly. The setting of her book is mostly New York with trips to DC and L.A. The men are different and varied. She dispenses real life advice for single women  about men and dating. I learned a lot from reading this book. There was one paragraph that hit me like a ton of bricks. I've included it below. It was like a ton of bricks fell on my head. I was deeply invested in her dating tales, especially those involving Greg. "A Belle in Brooklyn" was an easy, fun read. I loved it. Lucas will be releasing her second book, "Don't Waste Your Pretty:The Go-to Guide for Making Smarter Decisions in Life & Love" this year. I cannot wait to read it.  

Message!

I saw this and it resonated with me. We cannot go back. It isn't feasible. Forward is the only move. It's hard to accept but it is what it is. Sometimes we just need to "see" or "hear" this from someone other than ourselves. We can't make people change or be who we want them to be. Letting go when you want to hold on is tough. But, the reality is that you wouldn't have to fight for people to stay. Those who want to stay will. Those who want to go, will go. The one thing I've learned in my 34 years is that God brings people in your life and takes them out when needed. Reason, season, or lifetime. It really is that simple. I am learning this day by day. I won't/can't beg you to stay because I shouldn't have to. That is all.