Black and Natural

Love is indeed the new Black. It is the thing none of us can get enough of. ("Everybody wanna know what my Achilles' heel is. Love I don't get enough of it." -- Shawn Corey Carter) Last Sunday, Solange Knowles got married and pictures were released via Vogue. Those wedding pictures literally shut everything down. It was the only topic of discussion on Twitter that night. The Knowles-Ferguson wedding did indeed #BreakTheInternet. The pictures were breathtakingly beautiful. What I loved the most was Solange's natural hair in her signature afro for her wedding. As a woman who has been natural for over 3 years now, I am totally biased on this subject. I LOVED it. Solange has been a carefree Black girl for years. She does things her way with no apologies. And, that is a sentiment I can get behind. This is actually the second wedding in the last few weeks were the bride's were natural. The other was Demetria Lucas (aka A Belle in Brooklyn). I loved her look for her wedding as well. I never put much thought into wedding day hair. But, I love this trend. I love seeing women being unapologetically themselves, especially on what is dubbed as one of the most important days in one's life.

What I find deplorable is the backlash on social media. I am so glad that I do not follow any of these idiots who thought Solange's hair was ugly or nappy or looked bad. It did not take me long to find the clusters of idiot who had that frame of mind. This was a woman who married her love. It was her wedding day and she did it her way. She, also, slayed effortlessly in every single photo I saw. The sad part is those negative thoughts came from other Black people, mainly Black women. I'm sad to say I wasn't even shocked. The hair that grows naturally out of your head is not bad or wrong or ugly. It's God's work. I was offended on so many levels. This article was written by a Black woman. Why is natural hair such a taboo topic? Why do you care how a woman wears her hair? Her hair, her day, her choice. And, I , for one, am a fan.  Natural hair is not a movement, it's a way of life. Go ahead and accept it. Get into it. 

Who's Angry?!

Three words have never irritated me more than the "Angry Black Woman" title. It is the stupidest stereotype because all humans get angry. All of us. Most of the time I am NOT angry. You know what makes me angry? Someone constantly telling me that I am angry. Or constantly be bombarded with the notion that ALL Black women are angry. If I am assertive or strong or I stand up for myself, I am all of a sudden angry. What simpleton decided that ALL Black women were angry? An idiot for sure. The United States is a hotbed for racial inequality right now. As a Black woman who was born and raised here, I feel like my Blackness is being attacked constantly. It's not often we as Black people see ourselves depicted in a good light on television or on the big screen. It's one of the main reasons I am a Shonda Rhimes fan. Those three little words sparked a public outcry on Twitter yesterday when the NY Times erroneously posted an article that read:

When Shonda Rhimes writes her autobiography," Stanley begins, "it should be called How to Get Away With Being an Angry Black Woman."

Rhimes' Twitter response was golden. And, guess what it wasn't? ANGRY. She seemed more appalled than anything. And, the fact that her new show "How To Get Away With Murder" was created by a white man made the author of that ridiculous article seem even more incompetent. I loved her response as well as those of some of the actors who work for her, especially Kerry's, Viola's and Josh's. I did not see one positive tweet about the article. Everyone felt that dig. After reading that lede, I was not inclined to read the rest. It rubbed me the wrong way. There is a way to offer praise. The article did not do that. It was a backhanded compliment filled piece that no one could feel complemented by. There was no happiness felt while reading it. 

Then, something miraculous happened. Black women started a Twitter hashtag movement. #IWasAnAngryBlackWomanWhen was born. The tweets were mostly sarcastic in nature in response to the article. The crazy thing is I didn't get angry when I read it. I was offended as was every Black woman and anyone who is a fan of the brilliance that is Shonda Rhimes. She is a visionary and a major success story. Her Shondaland Productions owns ABC's Thursday night slots. She is the only Black woman to head a company that has not one, not two but three primetime shows on tv right now. Two of those shows are helmed by Black women. All three shows have casts that are more racially diverse than any other shows or networks. Rhimes should be praised for having the golden touch. 

The NY Times seems to have forgotten that. Thankfully, other credible publications did not follow that lead. Slate, Vox, CNN, and Variety all took a different and better standpoint. The lede of the NY Times piece (which I refuse to link to) was wrong, stereotypical and awful. The author stated that the article was meant to praise Rhimes. But, you do not insult a person's entire being then follow it with shallow compliments. Do. Not. Want. Return To Sender. What the author and the paper should do is print a retraction, apologize for being racist, stereotypical pigs and never do it again. But, they won't. And, in all honesty, Shonda Rhimes doesn't need them to. She will continue to slay Thursday nights as she has for years. Because she is a genius and her shows are amazing. Winning is the best revenge. Make sure you are tuned in at 7pm central on Thursday, September 25, 2014 for the return of "Grey's Anatomy," and "Scandal," and also the introduction of "How To Get Away With Murder."

Statistically Speaking

As far back as I can remember, I never wanted to be grouped with the majority. I never wanted to be a statistic. It's the reason I was a virgin all through high school. I didn't want to be a teenage mother. More specifically, I did not want to be a Black teen mom. There were too many of them around me. I wanted more, desired more. College was always in my future because I knew the world was bigger than my neighborhood. I wanted more than just a high school diploma. Education was a drug to me. I craved it.

For years, I wanted to be the opposite of what society said I should and could only be. I'm ok with that. I know who I am. I do believe that my intelligence  is one of my greatest traits. But, it has more to do with things I've taught myself. I value knowledge and the people who are always on the hunt for more. In my pursuit to be the anti-version of Black women splashed all over reality shows and the like, I realized something significant. I've been running away from some specific statistics that I've unwittingly landed in another one: I'm 30+, single, never been married, childless, Black woman. I'm suddenly a damn statistic! And, clearly, I'm not happy about it.

I'm days away from my 34th birthday. I'm depressed about this approaching age. Why? Because none of the dreams I had for 34 have come to fruition. The entire theme for this year can be summed up on one word: adrift. It's the only way to describe it. The realization that I am a statistic makes me sad. It makes me average, like everyone else. That is something I've never been comfortable with. Maybe there is a plan for me to not be trapped in this particular statistic. Who knows? But, I do find the irony in this entire blog. Sometimes I believe that my own worst enemy is no further than the reflection in the mirror. Anyway, these are just my thoughts.

American Idol, Crown Candice Glover The Winner Right Now

I cannot remember the last time I paid actual attention to American Idol past the auditions. This year, Candice Glover has caught my eye. Candice's voice gives me eargasms. She is THAT good. Her performance this week of "Lovesong" sold me on her. She is in  the top 5. Her odds of winning are huge. The only competition for her is Kree Harrison, who's great in her own right. But, Kree is no Candice. That girl can blow. If you aren't watching the show, you should take some time to check her out. She has a Tumblr fan page in her honor. I am posting my favorite performances by her so far. I am a fan. I've been voting for her which is something I haven't done since well forever. Anyway, enjoy the music. Oh, and vote for Candice on American Idol on Fox on Wednesdays and Thursdays @ 7.

Get Into It: New Music Tuesday

There is a lot of new music dropping today. One R&B project, one R&B/Pop and one Hip-Hop/Pop project. All different in their own rights. Good music nonetheless. Let's get into them. First up is Rihanna. She is back after barely a year after "Talk That Talk." Rihanna's "Unapologetic" is dope. I have a new favorite song. It is her "Pour It Up." It is the perfect strip club song. The beat is intoxicating to me. I also love "What Now," "Jump," "Phresh Off The Runway," and "Diamonds (remix)." I can play it from beginning to end. It's not a deep or conscious project. It's just feel good music. And, I can enjoy it purely for that reason. "Lost in Paradise" and "Stay" get me into my feelings but in a good way. "Loveeeeeee Song" features Future an artist I do not get the appeal of. The song would be better without him and the auto-tune in my opinion. I fast forward through him and I like it much better. "Unapologetic" is Rihanna's 7th cd. Who knew the "Pon De Replay" girl would have staying power? I know I did not. Anyway, I like it.

Keyshia Cole is back with "Woman To Woman." It is a vast improvement over her "Calling All Hearts." It is a clear R&B cd which is what CAH should have been. I love the title track which is a duet with Ashanti. I really like it. I also love "Trust & Believe," "Signature," and "Zero (feat Meek Mill)." What I really dig is the fact that the cd just flows. I don't skip any songs. I just vibe all the way through it. Keyshia is back. She sounds like her debut self. A little older, little wiser and in love, Keyshia shines throughout this project. I truly enjoy it. I was a little apprehensive about it at first because of the last one. I am glad I was wrong.

Also, dropping today is Nicki Minaj's "Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded: The Re-Up." First off, the title is too long and silly. Secondly, I think it is very wack of artists to add a few songs to a project and re-release it. I think they are taking advantage of their fans. Thirdly, she added 8 songs to it. I believe she could have added a few more songs and released a totally new project. With all of that being said, I like the new songs. Love "Up In Flames," "The Boys," "I Endorse These Strippers (feat. Tyga)," and "High School (feat. Wayne)" the most. "I'm Legit" featuring Ciara makes me want to dance. I can see myself listening to this while getting dressed to go out. I do not think that this project will move major numbers for that reason alone. The songs are cute but not really hard hitting Nicki. But, I am also not her core audience. Music truly is my thing. I cannot think of anything else that moves me as much. I do not think that I will ever get tired of hearing it, talking about it, loving it. I cannot foresee that day in my future. As long as it exists, I will be discussing it. Get into this new music. Enjoy!

He Said What??

I was doing my daily perusing of websites two days ago when I came across an article that truly made me angry. It was on ForHarriet and it was about DL Hughley. Let me first say that I am not a fan of his. I do not find him funny or entertaining. To me, he was the least funny comic on the "Kings of Comedy" movie. I was not here for his short lived television show nor can I tell you any movie he's been in. In the last few years, he has become more synonymous with sticking his proverbial foot in his mouth. Do you remember when he said that Don Imus was not wrong to call the women's basketball team "nappy headed hoes?" If not, just know that he did say it. And, no he wasn't trying to be funny when he did it. He has a new book out that I won't mention the name of because I'm sure that it is full of more crap like his quote. He appeared on NPR and when asked his thoughts on Black women, he said,

"I've never met an angrier group of people."

This quote was followed by this gem:

"Being a dad to daughters is very different from being a dad to sons. The dangers are different and the way they listen to you is different. I'm sure every father feels the same way that I do about his daughters. I love them, but I don't like them. Who likes women?" "I don't like the way they process - no, I don't. I enjoy their company. I do not like the way that they reason. You can't understand them."

No, your eyes are not deceiving you. This is a real quote from comedian DL Hughley. This being said by a Black man is disheartening. It's sad and grotesque. The fact that the Black man who wrote this has been married to a Black woman for 26 years, who has also raised 2 Black female children, who is from a Black woman is not lost on me. I am sick of the media and everyone always continually dumping on Black women. This man is an idiot. Plain and simple. And, I wonder how his wife, daughters and mother feel about this? It could not be me. It's one thing to have a husband who is an idiot, it's another thing for the whole free world to know it. This comes across as a self loathing, self hating Black man. I'm surprised he's been with a Black woman so long.

I want everyone, especially Black men, to stop speaking on and for Black women. We have a voice. We know how to use it. As Black women, we have been taught how to be strong because the world is never going to make it easy for us. I am so glad that I do not know, associate or love any Black men who feel this way. And, if I do, they better keep this ridiculous opinion to themselves. Because I will never be ok with anyone generalizing about everything I am. If any of you are interested, you can read the transcript of the interview here. I am completely done. If you are was appalled as I am, do me a favor and ignore Hughley's book. It does not deserve to sell any units. I am completely disgusted and done.

Zoe As Nina Simone

Biopics can be funny. When they are about revered people, fans want to see someone who looks like the person and who has the skills to pull it off. Denzel Washington was not a dead ringer for Malcolm X but he had the skills to play the role. He was fantastic in it. There has been a lot of talk about the casting of Zoe Saldana as the iconic Nina Simone. Most have an issue with Zoe being cast because of her lighter skin and classic good looks. Nina Simone was a dark skin Black woman who's turmoil stemmed from her looks, her voice and her curves. Many have spoken about Zoe's lack of talent to play the role. I completely. understand why people feel the way they do. It is all warranted. I have major concerns about Zoe and this particular role.

This above pic was released this weekend. It instantly caused a major uproar. Everything about it is dead wrong. The obvious darkening of Zoe's skin to the bad afro wig to the ridiculous nose prosthetic are all causes for anyone to be concerned. The costume that Zoe is wearing makes me even sadder. Also, I like Zoe. I think she is a gorgeous girl and a decent actress. I do not believe that she has the depth to play someone as genius and deeply conflicted as Nina was. Zoe has never played a role with real, true substance. I loved her in "Columbiana." It was the first role where I remembered her name and who she was. Yes, I've seen her in other rom-com's but nothing that stuck out. In Hollywood, Black women, especially darker ones, are routinely passed over for roles. It's sad but true. This casting is just another case of a role being mis-casted on so many different levels. I do not know what the outcome will be. My expectations are clearly not that high. But, I will reserve final judgement until I see the movie.

"Steel Magnolias" Remake Review

"Steel Magnolias" has always been one of my favorite movies. Along with "Beaches," this movie reminds me of my childhood. So, I was not impressed when I heard that it was getting a remake. I'm not a huge fan of remakes in general. But, I do not really care for classics being remade. The only draw of this remake was the cast. An all Black cast. I was intrigued because Ms. Phylicia Rashad was the name that stuck out to me. I love her. Who doesn't? She is the quintessential Mother and wife. And, a damn good actress to boot. I was still apprehensive about this remake. I wanted it to be good because it is an all Black cast. But, this was a classic. I didn't watch it when it premiered because I was all caught up in the Saints game. I watched it last night. And, I watched with bated breath waiting to be fully impressed. There were moments when I was. Overall, I was underwhelmed. I am sad about that.

The plot is the same. I mean, down to the actual lines. I was saying them with the cast. The movie is essentially the same yet different. It seems to have lost some of its spunk. The so called "southern" accents were questionable and all over the place. Queen Latifah's accent was anything but southern. Phylicia Rashad and Alfre Woodard were the best with that. The rest of the cast was not. Being a Southern woman, I may be overly critical of accents in movies and television. Lance Gross was severely underutilized in this film. I would have loved to see him more. I hated that the last final scene was moved from the cemetery to Truvy's beauty shop. That was a bad move.That scene was important in the original. Also, Latifah in the final soliloquy was laughable at best. The speech, the tears, her facial expressions none of it was as genuine as Sally Field in the scene. I didn't really buy Latifah as the motherly M'Lynn. She didn't truly capture the essence of the character.

I am a new fan of Condola Rashad, daughter of Phylicia. She plays Shelby, the role made famous by Julia Roberts. She was pretty great as Shelby. I still cried when Jackson found Shelby passed out on the floor. Still cried when Shelby died as if that would change in any version of the movie. The cast boasts that the movie was filmed in only 17 days. I can tell. There is something lacking throughout this film. It could be because it was shot in such a short period of time. I'm really not sure. I watched it once. I don't think I will need to see it again. There were pivotal scenes from the original that were omitted in this version. This makes the remake seem incomplete. As a fan, I needed all of the scenes. Truvy's relationship with her husband wasn't included in the way it should have been. Weezer's relationship with her old flame was merely touched upon. Annelle's courtship was non-existent . And the final scene was not what I wanted or needed. I read on Twitter as people slander this movie. I think some judged it too harshly. It had its good points, notably Jill Scott, both Rashads and Woodard. Classic movies should be preserved and not remade. That is my humble opinion. Because the reality is the remake will never stand up to the original.The original "Steel Magnolias" will forever live in the hearts of many. I don't think that I can say the same for this remake. Watch it and decide for yourself.

It's My Hair: Melissa Harris-Perry Talks Hair Politics

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Black hair is THE topic of conversation. The above video is a great discussion on the subject. I am a fan of Melissa Harris-Perry and her platform. Her MSNBC show is a great political show with a point of view of that of a Black woman. I think she is a great political voice. She had a panel of four other varied Black women in various states of natural hair. I loved the variety of women that Harris-Perry had on her show. It was the perfect forum to discuss an issue that will not go away. All the women had interesting things to say about Black hair. Please take the time to watch the video. It's very insightful and enlightening.

Black hair is big business. Black women spend more on hair products and services more than any other group. We are that business. So, this huge shift towards the natural journey means a shift or loss in money. I don't know if it's because I am in a transitioning phase but I see this topic comes up a lot. I see more natural sisters now that I am becoming one. My hair is important to me. It is a part of me. Whatever I do to it, is my business. It's not about making a political statement or taking a stance. I made this choice for me. I want to know what my natural hair feels like, looks like. I may love it. I may hate it. But, I will always have options. No one made me do it or talked me into this. Actually, I've gotten some negative feedback from family members as well as positive. But, thankfully, I am not easily swayed. I have great self esteem and know what I stand for. This is the right move for me right now. I really do not care who doesn't like it or agree with it. It's not their hair.

The entire discussion was great to hear. I loved what Nicole Ari Parker said about her daughter. I think that epiphany is wonderful. And, if I had a daughter, I am sure I would feel the same way. Nicole from Curly Nikki made a great point as well about the issue being political and personal. I think that for most Black women, the decision to embrace their natural hair is a personal one. I, for one, did not set out to make a political stand with my hair. It's very interesting that people outside of the Black community are so enthralled with our hair. Yes, we already know its amazing as we are as a people. The conversation will continue as they always do when it pertains to Black women. We are definitely a great topic to discuss. In the end, our hair in any and every state is a issue that people should be intrigued by.

Are Black Women Too Conservative?

This was the topic of discussion in one of my Facebook groups last night. I was told that most Black women grow up very conservative in regards to sex. A few men said that Black women are late to the game when it comes to certain aspects of sex. It's an interesting concept. One I don't necessarily agree with. I don't necessarily believe conservatism is the reason. As young Black girls, we are fed a lot of rules and regulations. The good girls grow up with the fear of being labeled a "whore" or becoming pregnant as a teenager. That fear is real. I blame my Mom for both.

Once a young woman crosses that line and voluntarily gives her virginity away, she's faced with a new set of fears. These fall along the lines of what she will or won't do. How far is too far? What is too freaky? Where does she draw the line? All of these questions are heavy on a good girl's mind. I know that I never wanted to be labeled as a "freak." That title was just as bad as whore or slut to me back then. I think that now I can say that I wasn't mentally mature enough for sex at 17. I wish I would've waited. But, there comes a time that clears all of that up for most of us. That moment of clarity is an epiphany.

Around the age of 25, I learned a few wonderful things about myself. I let go of that fear. Basically, I decided to define me for me. I learned what I liked, what my body wanted. I also wasn't shy about getting it either. I embraced my thoughts on sex and sexuality. I defined my own levels of freakiness. Not a man or any gossipy women. I was finally ok with me. I had to shed that image that I'd perfected of being this eternal good girl. I was a grown woman with a mind of her own and needs that had to be fed. I was more than ok with who I was. I am traditional in a lot of ways. Most of which do not translate into the bedroom. I know exactly what is right for me. No one can take that from me. There is nothing conservative about me in that way.