All I Want For My Birthday...

Today is Sunday, December 14th, 2014. It is 2:39 am. At this exact moment 35 years ago, I was born. It's my birthday!!! I am beyond humbled and grateful for the gift of life. I was blessed to wake up this morning to see this day. I don't know how I got to 35 so quickly though!! I don't feel 35 and more importantly, I don't look 35. So, there is all the win I need right there. Today is my day. I've always loved my birthday and the month of December. Even when I'm not too sure of what the day will bring, I embrace and enjoy it. Thank you God for blessing me with 35 years on this Earth. The first 35 has been a full on roller coaster ride. The only thing I want for my birthday is peace and growth. I want to continue on this adventure to being my most authentic self. And, if I can find laughter, happiness and knowledge along the way, I would deem it a success. I already know the next 35 will be even better. I am claiming it. Happy Born Day to me! Happy New Year's to me!! I am excitedly looking forward to all that my 35th year will bring my way. :)

It's My Birthday!!!

 

On this day at this exact moment 34 years ago, I was born. I am thankful for the gift of seeing another year, grateful for the chance to get it right. I’m trying to embrace the reality that I’m 34 years old right now. I can honestly say that I did not know if I would physically make it through this year. 2013 and the age of 33 was not good to me or for me. It was tough. So, I am truly thankful for this year. It tried to break me. I persevered. That is grace. So, I've decided that 34 and 2014 will be a greater, bigger, better year for me. At this very moment, I am happy. Happy to still be here, happy for the ability to smile through the rain. 

I am usually uber excited about my birthday. Not so much this year. I don't have big plans. But, I will do a little something. I have two wishes for my birthday. I wish that my 34th year is full of prosperity, travel, laughter, growth, and peace. Basically, the polar opposite of my 33rd year. Oh and tulips would be nice. So, I will be on the hunt for some later today. Just because they are pretty and they make me happy. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!

Happy (Early) Birthday To Me! Beyonce's Visual Album

I do not stan for many or much. But, Beyonce' Giselle Knowles-Carter is in that small group. Imagine the world's surprise when Bey decided to drop her 5th studio album on iTunes right before midnight. No promo. No advertisement's. No warning or nothing. Just a slick drop on iTunes. She literally killed every social media site and iTunes. Her 5th album, entitled Beyonce', is a visual album. No lead single. Just 14 new tracks and 17 videos for $15.99. And, I am all the way here for it. I've been listening to it for almost 2 hours now. I love it. It's just dope. The videos are amazing. Beyonce' did that and on Friday the 13th. She took the precedent set by Jay's "Magna Carta Holy Grail" and took it to another level. Surprise indeed. Happy Birthday to me!! Get into it!!

Ladies Love Lyrics: New Edition "Can You Stand The Rain?"

As my birthday weeks continue to roll on, I decided that I would feature my all time favorite song for this Ladies Love Lyrics post. New Edition will always be my favorite group. "Can You Stand The Rain" will always be my favorite song by them. As a little girl, I didn't fully get the meaning of the song. I actually thought they were singing about not liking the rain. This made sense to me then because I didn't like the rain either. Thank God for maturity. As an adult, I got it. Truly. And, the reason that it made such an impact on me is simple. This song is about loyalty to me. It's the thing that means the most to me. Finding people who are going to have your back through thick and thin, good and bad is important. There aren't a lot of people in the world who will hold you down no matter the situation or the weather. Those people are to be celebrated. When you find them, never let them go. Let's get into those lyrics below. Enjoy!!

On a perfect day I know that I can count on you. When that's not possible tell me can you weather the storm? 

Cause I need somebody who will stand by me through the good times and bad times she will always, always be right there.

Chorus:Sunny days everybody loves them tell me baby can you stand the rain? storms will come this we know for surethis we know for surecan you stand the rain?

Statistically Speaking

As far back as I can remember, I never wanted to be grouped with the majority. I never wanted to be a statistic. It's the reason I was a virgin all through high school. I didn't want to be a teenage mother. More specifically, I did not want to be a Black teen mom. There were too many of them around me. I wanted more, desired more. College was always in my future because I knew the world was bigger than my neighborhood. I wanted more than just a high school diploma. Education was a drug to me. I craved it.

For years, I wanted to be the opposite of what society said I should and could only be. I'm ok with that. I know who I am. I do believe that my intelligence  is one of my greatest traits. But, it has more to do with things I've taught myself. I value knowledge and the people who are always on the hunt for more. In my pursuit to be the anti-version of Black women splashed all over reality shows and the like, I realized something significant. I've been running away from some specific statistics that I've unwittingly landed in another one: I'm 30+, single, never been married, childless, Black woman. I'm suddenly a damn statistic! And, clearly, I'm not happy about it.

I'm days away from my 34th birthday. I'm depressed about this approaching age. Why? Because none of the dreams I had for 34 have come to fruition. The entire theme for this year can be summed up on one word: adrift. It's the only way to describe it. The realization that I am a statistic makes me sad. It makes me average, like everyone else. That is something I've never been comfortable with. Maybe there is a plan for me to not be trapped in this particular statistic. Who knows? But, I do find the irony in this entire blog. Sometimes I believe that my own worst enemy is no further than the reflection in the mirror. Anyway, these are just my thoughts.

Random Thoughts of a December Baby

• You know what song still makes me happy and want to dance? Pharrell's "Happy." No matter what is going on this song always makes me smile.  

• Yesterday was a really great day. Truly. Started off my birthday week in a dope way. Had birthday brunch, which included great eats and wonderful conversation with my best friend, my brother from another mother. Stayed in the restaurant for over 3 hours. Much needed laughter and talk. 
  
• Sunday's weather was anything but nice. It was cold and foggy and misty. This did not bode well for my perfectly perfect braid out. I had to snap a few pics throughout the day yesterday. Thankfully my hair is still fab today but my allergies are not happy. I was perfectly fine yesterday morning. Today, not so much :( I will not be sick this week. I refuse.
  
• My Saints rebounded nicely last night. They beat Cam Newton & the Carolina Panthers 31-13. I thought it would be a closer game because both teams had the same record. I was wrong. My boys are 10-3!!!! Who Dat!!! Geaux Saints!!!
  
• I've been treating this situation as if it's still the same when in reality nothing is the same. I've discovered that I'm not good with change. I want to still know all the thoughts and emotions when I am not privy to it anymore. And, that is the gospel truth. I've got to stop asking for what no longer belongs to me. For reasons. Many of them. 
• The gif below makes me feel like a 5 year old. But, I LOVE it. So I had to share it. Enjoy!!
• 
• It's really hitting me that I am going to be 34!! Like seriously, where did the year go? I don't feel my age at all. I am trying to embrace this getting older thing. But, really, 34?!? I'm just gonna smile and take it. I'm over 33 anyway. *in my Claire Huxtable voice* Yay, 34!!
  
• Since this is my birthday week, every post this week is tagged "birthday behavior." Because, a la Drake, I plan on being on my "worst behavior!!" :p Proceed with caution and...
  

Thank God for your 30's...

My birthday is this coming Saturday. Yikes! I'm truly not ready. Around my 28th birthday, I started dreading my 30th. To me, 30 represented the age one should have it together. Career, marriage, family, and home should be in place. I was so far from that. I didn't even know if I truly wanted it. Turning 30 became, something I wanted to avoid. Right before that birthday, I realized that I was blessed. I knew too many folks who didn't make it to see their 30th birthday. So, I embraced it. Especially since I didn't look it.

My 30's ushered in something wonderful. The 3 years after 30 were some of my happiest ever. I know I wouldn't have appreciated it in my 20's. I didn't mind turning 31,32, or 33. Now that I'm days away from my 34th, that feeling is back. I'm not happy about this birthday. I back to that place I was before my 30th. So, in am effort to turn it around, I'm thinking about all the wisdom that I've gained so far in my 30's. I posted the below on my Tumblr yesterday.

Thank God for your 30's... 

I’m thankful for the wisdom that comes when you cross the threshold of 30…for a plethora of reasons.All the things you think, do, say, believe in your 20’s will drastically change in your 30’s…if you’re lucky. 

In your 20’s, you THINK you know it all. In your 30’s, you KNOW you do not.  

I ran the streets in my 20’s. I was in every club, knew the dj's, bouncers and bartenders. I loved going out. Then, it got old. And, I grew up. 

You will too.

What have your 30's taught you? I know God has a plan for all of us. I thought I knew about mine. I've been proven wrong. So, the one thing I truly want for my birthday is a clue. I've spent too much time thinking I'm doing the wrong thing. Oh and tulips. Tulips on my birthday would make my day. I guess I could always go buy my own, right? It's officially my birthday week. Let's all pray that it's a happy one. Here's to 34 & prospering! Happy Birthday Week To Me!!