So, About Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day!! If you are in love, it could be the best day ever. If you aren't, it could be the worst. I decided that just because the entire world is covered in red hearts, flowers and chocolate, it doesn't diminish me. I am single. I think that's the first time I have written that. It feels odd but it is true. I am not really celebrating the day but I am also not knocking those that are. I did look back on my last few Valentine's. A few were really good, last year not so much. You can check them out here : 2013, 2012, & 2011. Hope you guys are enjoying this lovely Friday. Love is a beautiful thing. If you have it in your life, embrace it. Happy Valentine's Day :-)

Anti-Valentine's Day: Out of Control

This gif accurately describes my life. I am def on an emotional rollercoaster. Extreme highs and the lowest of lows. I do not like when things in my life are out of control. That is when I am the most unlike myself. I feel frazzled. I like to be in control. Like things to go a certain way. Emotions are not like that. They aren't easily controlled. And, once something gets your emotions out of whack, there is nothing you can do. That is where I am. And, I'm truly not happy about it. It's not true to who I am in general. It is, however, true to what I am feeling. I am emotional more than I care to truly admit. It is seeping out of my pores every time I walk into a room. And, falling freely from my eyes and mouth as soon as I say a word. It is not the representation I want the world to see. But, I'm too tired to fight it. I'm too hurt to try to fake it for anyone. I am hurting. The world will deal. Also, screw Valentine's Day. I cannot deal with that today. 

 

People always say that women are so emotional. I have tried my best to not show many that side of me. I am passionate about many things. But, that really emotional side of myself is reserved for a select few. And, even then, I try to keep it under wraps. I just don't like to react or cry in private. I don't really like that my usual tactics aren't working. Or that my emotions are slipping through. I know it's a process that I have to go through. That doesn't mean I have to like it or even appreciate it. I am looking forward to the total numbness. I don't want to feel anything. That would make me feel better. Yes, I know that won't give me closure nor will it mean that I'm over it, but at least then I could deal. I could sorta return to my normal self. That is what I miss: normality. I have lost sight of that version of me. This overly emotional version has got to go. She is bringing me down. Well, farther than I already am. I need a reprieve, por favor.

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Valentine's Hangover

It's the day after Valentine's. The love hangover has now begun. The national holiday for lovers and love is officially over. Today in stores, you can find that candy, those roses and cards all on sale for 50% off. The world that was high off love yesterday is returning to normal. What I witnessed yesterday was fairly weird to me. I noticed the oddest trend about my "friends" on Facebook. Facebook, it seems, is full of people who hate Valentine's day. I mean really despise the notion and holiday. I never knew how bitter a day could make a person. I've never given that much weight to the day, regardless of if I was in or out of a relationship. In the aftermath of this epiphany, these same people seem to have a Valentine's Day hangover.

I have had my fair share of awful and disappointing Valentine's Days. The worst being back in 2002. It was like the season of the terrible breakups. I had just gotten some heartbreaking news. My girls wouldn't let me wallow though. My friends and I (minus one) had all just come out of situations. And, none of us were feeling the love this particular V day. So, we decided to boycott it. Valentine's Day 2002 was, in the words of Jay-Z, an "all black everything" sort of affair. We went out and had drinks and enjoyed each other's company. It was a good day because of my friends. At the end of the day, I survived my anti-Valentine's Day.


This picture describes the way I think the anti-Valentine's people on Facebook felt yesterday.


What I do not get is the bitterness. The bitterness that I saw on Facebook that was spewed at people in love or celebrating Vday. It was very disheartening and actually kind of sad. There were also numerous posts attempting to put people on blast about their "love." I read "love should be shown every day of the year" more than once. While I wholeheartedly agree with the statement, the tone and vein it was stated was lost on me. Who are we to judge any one's relationship? That isn't my place or yours. I believe people do indulge heavily in Valentine's day when they are in love. It's their right.

Too many bitter Betty's and Bob's on Facebook for me. I found it rather comical though. I have never been big on boasting about anything about me. Who I am is not defined by what I have or received. Those who need to know anything about me knows it already. Everyone has their own definition of love. We express it and feel it in different ways. Whether you indulge in the utter commercialization of the day or not is definitely a personal choice. But, no one has the right to rain all over someone else's Valentine's Day parade. Love is love. If there is no one in your life to love you on Valentine's Day, love yourself. Trust me, this too shall pass.

It's Valentine's Day!

It's February 14th, Valentine's Day. The day the entire world explodes in shades of red, pink and white. The theme of love is everywhere you love. It's all about hearts and chocolates and gifts and coupledom. It is the quintessential day to celebrate love and lover's. So, with the date in mind, I want to wish everyone who happens to pass by my blog a very happy Valentine's Day. I hope that wherever you are, whomever you are with that you enjoy your day. Love the love. Nothing else really matters. A few of my favorite love songs. Feel free to listen. I think Eros/Cupid would be happy :)

He Loves Me

Earlier today, I was having a conversation with HIM. We were discussing music and who's better. I brought up Jill Scott and Erykah Badu. Conversation ensued. I was reminding of how much I loved Jilly from Philly's "He Loves Me (Lyzel in E Flat)" after he talked about his feelings of the track. This song to me will always personify love. Jilly was deep in it when she wrote and recorded this. It's awesome on her cd but worlds better in concert. We both agreed that Jill was the better vocalist with Erykah being the better innovator. I also added that Jill's concert trumps Erykah everyday of the week. I love both ladies. I support both of their careers. We also decided that the two really cannot be compared outside of the fact that they are both labeled as "neo-soul artists." Anyway, wanted to share such a great love song right before Valentine's Day with you guys. Enjoy!