Metrosexual: Yay or Nay?

A man's grooming habits are important. A man who cares about his appearance in sexy. One who takes the time to upkeep his look is very sexy. But how much is too much? No man should have more extensive grooming habits than a woman. Metrosexual is the term now associated with men and grooming habits. Men should groom, I'm not denying that. But, there has to be a point that can't be crossed. To me, there are things that men should not do as far as grooming goes.

I just don't want now hairless, soft, waxed man next to me. He and I should not be able to go to the same esthetician. That's not even good look at all. I like a man to look like a man. Nice haircut, beard and mustache nicely groomed, clean fingernails, great smile all make a wonderful impression. These are things I notice and pay attention to. It's important to me. And, a good smelling man, whether it's his natural scent, soap or cologne, is ahead of the pack. I think all men should engage in pedicures. It's a necessary evil in my book.

I draw the line at certain things though. I do not care for any man who waxes any part of his body. No heterosexual man should have waxed/plucked/arched eyebrows. Whenever I see a man with eyebrows that are snatched tighter than my own, he gets the biggest side-eye ever. There is something inherently wrong with that picture. That is not hot to me. I'm not big on a man shaving/waxing his legs or chest either. I mean, he's a man. Men are supposed to be hairy. I couldn't imagine laying in a bed with a man who's legs were as smooth as mine. That would creep me out quickly. I also don't think a man should take longer than a woman to get dressed or spend more time in the mirror than a woman. Women primp, men shouldn't.

This could fall under the umbrella of my very traditional views on things. But, I just think some things that are for women are not for men. I'm cool with a metrosexual man to a point. I don't want to compete with my man for bathroom time. I'm a woman and it takes me a while to put together a look. But, there is also so much more that I have to do to get ready. In closing, I just want to say that I like the man to look like a man, smell like a man, and feel like a man. He should be hard where I am soft. It's the way men and women were created to be. We shouldn't mess with that. So, what do you guys think about metrosexuals? Yay or Nay?

Platonically Speaking

I have heard more than once than men and women cannot be truly just be friends. Some people believe that one person in the friendship will end up catching feelings for the other. Platonic friendships can happen either organically or by default. Organically a man and woman met and there's no physical attraction. When I say by default, I mean that one wanted a relationship and the other didn't. Either way, they end up in the friend zone.

I'm on the fence about the subject. I have platonic male friends. We are just friends. I don't see them in any other way than that. I'm almost 100% sure that the feeling is mutual. These two guys are more than my friends, they are my family. We are always there for each other. They have my back and vice versa. I know I wouldn't even entertain the notion of going down that road with either of them, even if I wasn't in love. The friendship I share with them means too much to me. Our friendship is the epitome of platonic. I believe that we are a great example of a platonic friendship working out. I mean, I we are into a 22 year friendship. It must be working.

I have seen friends cross that line. It has never worked out in the end. A small attraction could kill a great friendship. I don't think it's worth it. Great friends are hard to come by. Why would one want to sacrifice it for something fleeting or purely physical? That makes no sense to me. I value my friends too much. I would hate for them to the think of me negatively or as a former friend. Boundaries are set early. Platonic friendships should always adhere to them.

Platonic friendships benefit both parties involved. Both get the opposite sex's opinión on life and love. That alone is invaluable. I believe that men and women need platonic friendships. We need the balance. I sometimes seek out the advice of my male friends for a different perspective. It's helped me so much in life. I would actually be kind of lost without it. So, what do you guys think? Can men and women just be friends? Or is platonic friendships an oxymoron to you? Let's discuss.

Right Side Vs. Left Side of the Brain

I had a epiphany tonight. While watching one of my favorite shows SATC, Carrie Bradshaw wrote "It’s a pretty common belief that women tend to use the left, more emotional side of their brain, and men the right, more logical side. But is it really that cut and dry? It seems that when it comes to affairs of the heart, there’s a battle between what we know and what we feel. So, what do you do when you find yourself in a situation that leaps back and forth between the left and right side?” That made me think about the fundamental differences between women and men and the way we approach and handle things. I'm not here to claim that women are superior to men or vice versa. We're just different. We see things slightly differently and react to them that way. I do not fall into the category of believing that women are from venus and men are from mars. We have a lot in common but there are differences.

I can be very emotional. I also know how to control how much of that I show to people. I've been in a plethora of situations where I've wondered how could the man involved not see what I see. Or how could he not know how pissed I was. Even if I did not verbally admit it, everything about my demeanor screamed anger. I get quiet, my body is tense, arms crossed, I would be literally radiating heat from my body. Yet, he would look so bewildered when I would say I was mad. I'm not on to hold my tongue when I'm mad. I like to express myself fully. Men on the other hand are not like that. It's like pulling teeth to get to the root of a problem. They are generally never too forthcoming about feelings and emotions. Even when talking to my brother, I know I have to ask a very specific question to get anything out of him. It's draining.

Women are usually talkative. We like to share. We're expressive and emotional. We feel deeply. And we're used to discussing it with our girls. Men aren't usually like that. Yes, they can and will open up about certain things. But, I do not believe that they will ever be as quick to share as women are. It's taken me a long time to understand that fundamental difference between men and women. I've learned what questions to ask or not ask. I pay attention to the nonverbal communication as well. And, I know that sometimes the talker needs to just be the listener. It's easier to hear what the man is feeling that way. What do you guys think?

Typecasting Per Se?!?

Do you have a type? Are you conscious of it? I was randomly having a conversation with an associate about types. People always make a big deal about types. One likes what one likes, I suppose. I said I didn't have one really. She said she def did and that her husband was def not it. This kinda surprised me for a few reasons. they have one of the best relationships I've ever witnessed. They are best friends. But, then she responded to my look of disbelief with this golden nugget "when I met him, I realized that the reason no other relationship worked was because my type was no good for me and this man was just right for me." That one sentence put some things in perspective.

That led me to this question. Is not having a type qualified as a type? Could you possibly fall in love with someone who didn't fit into the box entitled "your type?" I think that sometimes we box ourselves into a certain box and it makes it hard for us to climb up out of it. I also began to wonder about how one begins to learn what their type is. I like chocolate men. There are really no other factors that connect my ex beau's. I've never been moved by any one else. I know that I've been that way since my first crush on Ralph Tresvant of New Edition fame. And, even then, no one could tell that there was anything cuter than a brown skinned boy. I can apreciate the handsomeness of men in general. But, I fancy what/whom I fancy.

I'm certain that I don't really have a type. But I've also noticed that the older I get, the more my outlook changes. They say with age comes wisdom. And, I def have to agree with that. I've changed a lot since entering my 30's. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But, I realize that I have to look past what is evident and see what isn't as evident in a man. It's less physical beauty and clearly more inner beauty. Now don't get me wrong, my eyes have to be interested in the man. But, intelligence is number one on my list. A sense of humor, a great sense of self, love for family, spiritual, are on my list as well. That describes my non-type to a "T." Maybe stepping outside of one's proverbial box could put us all on the path to our destiny.