I think highly of the people in my life. I have been told that I have high expectations of them. And, I guess to a degree I do. I expect the most out of my people because I demand the most out of me. This practice has not always been beneficial to me. It's impossible to expect everyone to do what I want them to do. We are not the same people. It is such a hard habit to break though.
There are things I do that are just a part of my dna. I am the woman who never forgets birthdays. I'll always contact (via text, call, FB) a friend on their day. I am the Hallmark queen. I live for greeting cards. I think that a person should definitely be celebrated on their day. It's important. I will definitely reach out to check up on people. I just believe that all relationships needs to be nurtured. It does make me sad when those simple issues are not reciprocated. If you care for someone, you should let them know. It's just nice to be thought of. To know that someone out there cares enough to see how you are. Maybe my expectations are too high. I just don't believe that it takes much to let people know that they are on your mind or that they matter. But that's just me.
I know that I can sometimes be sort of high strung. I don't necessarily believe its me being stuck up though. I am very settled in many of my opinions. I know what I like, what I believe and what I can be convinced of. I expect a person to be the same way with me that I am with them. It's just that simple. I am a big fan of reciprocity. It's something so small but it means so much to a woman like me. Give me the same respect that I give you. Show me the same courtesy that I show you. It's a practice I think everyone should get in to.
The reality is this, if you show me that I don't matter I will forever remember. It does break my heart a little when people don't live up to my expectations. My tough girl exterior protects my soft heart. My feelings get hurt but I deal. My expectations and standards may be high. I can't see myself lowering them for anyone. It makes me me. I expect no less than what I put out. Reciprocity is wanted and welcomed here.
I was feeling unappreciated just yesterday prior to my family coming over. No one was (correction: appeared to be) as excited as me! My Pops didn't come through, my mom threatened not to come, my brothers had no joy in their voice over the phone, and Mr. Baby let his friend smoke in my house less than an hour before everyone was to arrive - I was heated, fuming! I felt like no one game a damn about the work I had put in... So, I took my frustrations to facebook. Status: “NOT GONNA LIE: It hurts my feeling to feel like I'am the only one excited about some sh*t. My family needs to get it together! I mean, I only went ALL OUT...” Then a mentor of mine whom I will refer to as Ms. Wise (you know how I like nicknames girl) responded: “It’s hard for folks to appreciate what they perceive as you being you...” She wrote a little more but this particular sentence stood out for me. And as I read what you’ve written I feel like you may need to hear this too: “It’s hard for folks to appreciate what they perceive as you being you...” //
ReplyDeleteContinue to keep those expectations up, they will rise and those edges (my family has a hard time expressing emotion) will soften, only if we keep raising the bar and loving them strong all the way. //
[I think you just inspired this morning blog post…] FUEL.
BTW: Such an aggressive post on fb is rare for me but I was feeling all kinds of hurt. Had to let it oouut!
ReplyDeleteFYI: You've inspired me! http://mahoganycherrelle.blogspot.com/2011/12/lesson-learned.html
ReplyDeleteMC - So glad that my words could inspire you. That makes me beyond happy. It's one of the reasons I write. If my words can help, I've done my job. I'm going to read your blog and comment as well. It's hard to face the reality that everyone will not live up to your expectations. Trust ne, I knkw. Thanks for commenting! You've made my morning better.
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